stats count

John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I Have Not Come To Call The Righteous

Talk about multitasking; this Ugandan cell phone tower (VIA Gizmodo) offers up a religious image and the opportunity for crystal clear cell reception as well! Let anyone among you who is without roaming charges be the first to place a call.
|| JM, 10:51 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

Same Game, Another Name

One area I've always tried to avoid when blogging is work, largely due to the document I sign annually which suggests that I could be fired for doing so. But on occasion you can't avoid the temptation to throw a work related topic in as a post.

I was a bit surprised today when I got to my computer at work and saw the announcement that the company is planning on changing its name. The news release stated all the "brand" related excuses that I would have expected.

However, it didn't mention one that I'm sure had to be a motivator: that the initials of the company were the same as those of a popular feminine hygiene product. Strange, how they would leave that out.
|| JM, 1:53 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

Bad Analogy, Bad Policy

Although too busy to blog, I did catch the latest Special Comment from Keith Olbermann pointing out how Condi goes too far:
On the Sunday Morning Interview Show of Broken-Record, on Fox, Dr. Condoleezza Rice spoke a paragraph, which if it had been included in a remedial history paper at the weakest high school in the nation, would've gotten the writer an "F" - maybe an expulsion.

If Congress were now to revise the Iraq authorization, she said, out loud, with an adult present, quote: "…It would be like saying that after Adolf Hitler was overthrown, we needed to change then, the resolution that allowed the United States to do that, so that we could deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."

The Secretary's resume reads that she has a Masters' Degree and a Ph.D in Political Science. The interviewer should have demanded to see it, on the spot.

Dr. Rice spoke 42 words. She may have made more mistakes in them, than did the President in his State of the Union Address in 2003.

There is, obviously, no mistaking Saddam Hussein for a human being, but nor is there any mistaking him for Adolf Hitler.

Invoking the German dictator who subjugated Europe; who tried to annihilate the Jews; who sought to overtake the World -- is not just in the poorest of taste, but in its hyperbole, it insults not merely the victims of the Third Reich, but those in this country who fought it. And, defeated it.

Saddam Hussein… was not Adolf Hitler.

And George W. Bush is not Franklin D. Roosevelt, nor Dwight D. Eisenhower.

He isn't even George H.W. Bush, who fought in that war...
|| JM, 7:58 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be."
Paul Valery
|| JM, 7:57 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

The Hidden Agenda

George W Bush Role Playing gives us a NSFW dramatization of how Bush's policies affect America.

And in the unlikely event that you were feeling "too good" about how things are going, two sobering links to change that perception: Condi spills the beans that Bush will not abide by legislation to limit Iraq war. And the recent Cy Hersh piece that asks Is the Administration’s new policy benefitting our enemies in the war on terrorism?
|| JM, 7:54 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, February 26, 2007

Short Takes

  • I know exactly how Zippy feels. So many times when I'm on the road, I'll have a great idea that I'll flesh out and I promise I'll turn it into a blog entry. Do I ever remember the idea?
  • How sad is it that I felt a pang of disappointment when I heard a "news flash" that Cheney's plane was having trouble but it wasn't an emergency?
  • How much do you hate "news flash" type teasers anyway? The other night I hear one that almost caused me to fall out of my chair. "All women may be at risk of heart disease, news at 11" just seemed to be stating the obvious but casting it in an ominous tone. Go ahead, continue your march to irrelevance, and give us more stories about Britney & Anna Nicole.
  • I never used to care if you gave me Coke or Pepsi. But, apparently as I get older I get more picky. When the vending machine at work limited my choices to Coke products, I decided to take a walk on the wild side and choose "Diet Coke with Lime". Great choice, especially if you like a beverage that tastes like hand sanitizer.
  • Although I should know better, I sometimes can be too honest. Like when the wife & I were watching the news and saw the story about the new airport screening machines. When ask if I'd rather go through the machine or the frisk, I shouldn't have said that it depended what the person doing the pat down looked like; NOT the politically correct answer she was expecting. I should also remember that although in my fantasies, the body search is done by someone resembling Scarlett Johansson, the reality is that it's usually done by someone resembling a female Ernest Borgnine.
  • What ever happened to freedom of choice? I'm not talking about the important political issues of the day, but rather the fact that every time I go to the juice isle in the grocery store they only have "lots of pulp" or "NO pulp" orange juice? I guess those of us who liked the "some pulp" variety are SOL!
  • || JM, 12:17 AM || link || (5)||comments|| Email this link:

    Everybody Be Cool

    I've said how I'm a big fan of the Tarantino classic Pulp Fiction plenty of times before. So you'll have to forgive me if I go there once again. In the event you haven't seen Pulp Fiction as typography (VIA Boing Boing) you might want to check the clip out, as long as you aren't at work. The also NSFW feature above, Pulp Fiction F' ing Short Version is too funny not to throw in as well. And to round things out, just a few more PF links:

    PULP FICTION- Jedi Edition
    Pulp Fiction: The Sims Edition
    Robot Theatre: Royale With Cheese
    Pulp Fiction: The Simpsons Style
    || JM, 12:13 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Do you think when the guy came up with the idea to invent a bong, a black light popped up over this head?"
    Mitch Hedberg (VIA the Mitch Hedberg Quote Generator)
    || JM, 12:11 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Till The Cows Come Home

    Any "chikin" you ask will tell you that cows just can't spell for crap. Those Chick-fil-A (like YOU didn't want to pronounce it "Chic-fill-ah" the first time you saw it?) billboards you see will add evidence to this argument. But surprisingly, they seem quite adept at skydiving.

    Although most people think these bovine P.R. reps are cute and funny, I'm not so sure. The most common images we see have them walking around holding those "ever so funny" EAT MOR CHIKIN signs. But there is something vaguely threatening going on behind those cold, silent eyes. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see them carrying around books bearing the title "To Serve Man" like in the old Twilight Zone episode.

    In the event you want to make you own cow graphics, this Cow Sign Generator Image Generator (VIA Custom Sign Generator Page) sure comes in handy!
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Meeting Time

    If you're like me and you missed this weeks' SNL, this digital short featuring guest host Rainn Wilson (or Dwight Schrute as some know him) offers up a little nugget of comedy gold. At least it's better than most of the meetings that I have to attend, although probably just as pointless.
    Tags: , ,
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, February 23, 2007

    Like A Rock

    Bush ‘Legacy’ Carved In Stone With ‘Mount Rush-To-War’ (VIA onegoodmove)
    Ah, yes...a legacy of war, fiscal irresponsibility, and of rolling-back democracy & freedom to name just a few of things that come to mind. I'm not sure if he's ill-advised, or just bat-shit insane but in the end what difference does it make? His legacy WILL linger as a dark shadow that will cloud American policy and options for generations to come. I'm sure he'll just continue to deny reality and ride things out till he takes his place as the worst, least effective President in history.

    Anybody need a refresher on how out of touch "the wingut-in-chief" really is? I didn't think so, but you'll probably want to check out Four bewildering remarks from the Bush administration anyway.
    Tags: ,
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television."
    David Letterman
    || JM, 12:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Save The World?

    I'm still hooked on Heroes despite my occasional complaint about an illogical plot twist. So it was inevitable that I'd find this parody Zeroes (VIA Blue Mafia) pretty funny. And if you're not sure if you might be a hero or a zero, some helpful hints on How to tell if you're a superhero.

    Not as funny, but in a semi-related topic would be 8 Diseases That Give You Superpowers. But I think I'll take a pass on this one, since I've come to embrace mediocrity.

    And TV Squad alerts us to the Friday night appearance of the Cast of Heroes on Larry King. Apparently, he has a crystal ball and offers up a preview of how Larry will do another of his marvelous, well prepared interviews:
    "OK, as I understand it, all of you people are trapped on some island, right?"
    "So Jack Coleman...are you the cheerleader that needs to be saved?"
    "Let's go around the room...what do each of you think of this Anna Nicole Smith story?"
    Tags: ,
    || JM, 12:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, February 22, 2007

    Anew One!

    The latest post from the wonderfully warped mind of Nicholas Gurewitch at The Perry Bible Fellowship. The best "comic strip" on the web, although to call his dark humor that isn't giving it enough credit.
    Tags: , ,
    || JM, 11:26 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Blagh On!

    I've always ignored most of the "rules" when it comes to blogging, probably because like many other things, I don't take it that seriously. They say you should pick a subject you have some expertise on and stick with it. The only thing I'm an expert on is being goofy, and I can't even pull that off consistently. As far as subject matter goes, I'm all over the road, a blogish version of Mel Gibson driving home after a bar hoping tour, just minus the booze and the hate and with a double dose of A.D.D. thrown in for good measure.

    They say you should have emergency posts so that you can post frequently and not disappoint your readership. Like the absence of an update from me would ruin your day? When I start taking myself that seriously, please call the authorities and have me committed.

    Although occasionally, I'll find too many things to post in one day and I'll have some carry-over, this has pretty much been a spur-of-the moment, organic, mood driven thing. I really though I would have grown bored with this ages ago, and indeed, there have been plenty of times that I have. But just about the time you are ready to say, "seeya later" something comes down the pike that spikes my interest and causes the habit to continue.

    But I recently had an "ah-ha" moment that made me realize I started blogging long before I ever heard of the internet. Years ago, when I was in high school I took a fun interdisciplinary course than challenged us to think out of the box. It was taught by an "Odd Couple" match-up of teachers, one an endomorphic macho History teacher, the other an ectomorphic effeminate English teacher. Both were passionate, articulate, intelligent communicators that made the class a highlight of the school day. Although there were tests involved, another requirement was that we had to keep a daily journal, which was to be a reaction to that day's class or current events as filtered through the class content. I have to think that if they were teaching the course today, the requirement would probably be updated to keeping a blog instead.

    I stumbled upon my old journals a few years back as I was going through some junk in my old room at my parents' house. I know I'm being a bit narcissistic by saying this, but re-reading them was an interesting time capsule from the past. I hope that they weren't a victim of one of those spring cleaning sessions. I know they did pitch some stuff, because they told me that they didn't pitch my old toys. Most of them are still in the original boxes, since I was indeed an anal-retentive child. I can't even remember most of them, but I just did an eBay search on one, a toy rifle and was surprised to find it selling for $150 to $400! If only I could figure out how to make my other personality quirks pay off!
    || JM, 11:22 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Soda Jerk

    Claiming that they've found another way to "make you happy" the restaurant chain known for wings and boobs has decided to launch a new energy drink Hooter's Shooters sometime soon. They plan to sell it in orange & sugar-free berry flavors. Too bad, I would have expected a chocolate-milk flavor along the lines of Yoo-Hoo as well which would have been a more obvious way to tap into their brand equity.
    || JM, 11:19 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
    Elizabeth Taylor
    || JM, 11:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Words Of Wisdom

    Despair, the people who brought you the classic "Demotivators" posters, now brings you the Build Your Own Calendar. You can pick from your favorite designs and come up with a custom calendar that's pretty much guaranteed to keep you humble for the next 12 months.
    || JM, 11:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, February 21, 2007

    The Problems We Face

    Some Bumper Sticker wisdom from Carry A Big Sticker reminds us to be skeptical of our "leadership", just in case we were taking them seriously.

    And Jane Smiley has a piece at The Huffington Post which references a recent NY Times Editorial about some little noticed provisions and asks What Would You Do If Bush Declared Martial Law?
    The Bush administration had inserted two provisions into last October's defense budget bill that would make it easier to declare martial law in the US....Along with several other measures the Bush adminstration has proposed, the introduction of these changes amounts, not to an attack on the Congress and the balance of power, but to a particular and concerted attack on the citizens of the nation. Bush is laying the legal groundwork to repeal even the appearance of democracy. Any senator who does not vote in favor of the Leahy/Bond repeal of these provisions should promptly be recalled by his or her constituents.
    || JM, 8:19 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:


    "War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
    Bertrand Russell
    || JM, 8:18 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Cry Uncle

    An Australian ad from the 70's that used Uncle Sam (VIA Neatorama) to hawk underarm deodorant. Apparently Uncle Sam wasn't as popular as the manufacturer thought, since the product went down in flames. I'd have to think it would be even LESS popular today. I'll ignore the delicious irony of an antiperspirant using the symbol of a country who has spent much money and effort to stink up international diplomacy.

    It's hard to say whether this ad or the ones that describe the AXE effect will ultimately inspire more terrorism.

    But it's certainly not the first time we've seen something less than the traditional depiction of this iconic symbol.
    || JM, 8:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Bad Taste That Tastes Good

    Although some people might say that we've already seen too many pictures of Britney Spears' cookie Everything Weird (VIA LinkBitch) brings us two tasty treats (Britney and her inspiration Anna Nicole) as baked up by Michael Mouris.
    || JM, 8:13 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, February 20, 2007

    Fast Night

    Although most people refer to today as "Fat Tuesday" or "Pancake Day", in my old neck of the woods we'd think of it as "Fastnacht Day" (meaning the night before the fast). A "Pennsylvania Dutch" tradition that came from Germany it was a way to get rid of all the fatty substances found around the house prior to Lent, when these were to be avoided.

    These rich hunks of unleavened potato dough are deep fried, then covered in powdered sugar. Unlike a donut these puppies don't have holes, but don't be surprised to see supermarket versions that actually have them. According to a piece containing Fastnacht Recipes & Traditions the proper way to eat one of these is to slice it like a bagel, and slather it with butter and syrup. This is news to me, since I've usually just shoved them down the 'ol pie hole. Although most of the time I coulda' cared less about them back when I could get them, now that I can't find them I have a major craving. But I always want what I can't have.

    And now that I'm obsessing, here are a few more of the PA treats that I haven't had for ages that I'm suddenly longing for:

  • Scrapple: One of the many dishes that sounds, and many say looks disgusting, this is also sometimes referred to as Pon Haus. A mash-up of meal, pork scraps, and the ominously described "trimmings" (don't ask) it's formed into a loaf, then sliced, fried, and served with maple syrup. An acquired taste probably, but it can be a tasty treat.
  • Hog Maw: First, you get a pig's stomach. Still with me? Then stuff that baby with cubed potatoes, crumbled-up sausage, onions, celery, then bake or boil to taste. Cut into slices and enjoy! Trust me, it's better than it sounds.
  • Lebanon Bologna: Although I occasionally find this at the local A&P, it differs from the other stuff that masquerades as bologna, since it has been smoked and cured. What I can only find in PA is the variant "sweet bologna" which adds a sweet taste to the smokey flavor.
  • Pickled Eggs: Sometimes known as "pickled beet eggs" these aren't that tough to make, but I'm just lazy.

  • Great; I previously threatened to turn this into a recipe blog and it looks like I'm now one step closer.
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (6)||comments|| Email this link:


    "There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures."
    James Thurber
    || JM, 12:10 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Not The Droids You're Looking For

    Apparently, in the future everyone will have a robot to fetch them another beer, at least that's what this Computer Gadgets Roundup suggests. Bring it on.

    And since among the many topics that occasionally make an appearance here, "robots" have been absent for far too long, let's take care of that with a robot link dump:

    Terminator 2 Judgement Day in 5 Seconds
    Top Ten Robot Videos
    List of fictional robots and androids
    How Robots Work
    A Brief History of Robotics
    Huey, Dewey, & Louie
    Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot, & Gypsy: MST3K Film Festival
    The History Of Robots In The Victorian Era
    Rosie The Robot
    Transport Robot
    Robot Photoshop Contest
    Break Dancing Robots
    and this might be a stretch: I, Rowboat
    || JM, 12:08 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, February 19, 2007

    Who Is The Victim Here?

    I don't have much patience when I hear Hillary Clinton say that "if she had known in 2002 what she knows now about Iraqi weaponry, she would never have voted for the Senate resolution authorizing force." But this rather conveniently ignores that not everybody accepted the Bush administrations' full-court press, and there were plenty of indications at the time that the disinformation being presented was tainted evidence to justify the preznut's policy. She fears being painted as a "flip-flopping Democrat" but winds up sounding much like the last Democratic standard-bearer, and we all know how well that worked out! Better to admit an obvious mistake than to cling to a position whose origin was probably a politically motivated decision to increase her centrist or right wing appeal. She attempts to play both sides of the isle, as Bill did so successfully many times. But even he found that only went so far as he attempted to dance around the impeachment minefield.

    She clings to her decision not to apologize as a badge of honor, as if emphasizing that she has the toughness (and stubbornness, apparently) to be Commander In Chief. But in my mind, it just reminds me that our legislative branch decided to roll over and disregard their oversight responsibilities during that crucial process of going to war. Ironically, the Senate did that again this week by failing to consider the non-binding resolution to oppose the troop surge. Senator Byrd probably put it best when he said "The United States Senate, the greatest deliberative body in the whole world, is probably the only place in America not debating the war".

    I suppose I should be happy that at least some form of dialog is occurring over an increasingly unpopular and unwinnable war. But the absence of real debate, and more importantly, absence of real action by using the excuse that we're afraid to send the wrong message to our troops isn't something that's easy to accept. Our actions over the last few years such as putting fewer boots on the ground than needed, and underfunding armor, as well as other needed supplies and services certainly can't be something we should be proud of. Our inaction in dealing with our current quandary sends a message that's loud and clear, ("We don't care about your sacrifice, we don't care about your pain") and that's certainly less respectful than they deserve. It's time for both sides to stop looking at what will provide the best sound-bite in the next election, and let's bring this unnecessary war to an end.
    || JM, 12:13 AM || link || (5)||comments|| Email this link:

    Losing Ground

    Another perceptive series of observations from George Carlin about the Owners of This Country (VIA Crooks and Liars). Like we could ever get too much of the unique wit and wisdom from George?
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A man who is 'of sound mind' is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key."
    Paul Valery
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Random Thoughts

  • I hate getting phone calls in the middle of the night, since they usually are bad news. But little did I know that our local police department had a "reverse 911" system in place that would make calls regardless of the time of day. The other night at 2 a.m. the phone rings and I get a pre-recorded message about a missing person who disappeared in our area. I'm glad that they pulled out all available resources to find this guy, but did you have to call me in the middle of the night? Now I'm wide awake with a very disturbing thought planted in my head; when the dog went out she kept going over to the deck as if there was something under there...maybe it's him? I ignored this silly idea and somehow went back to sleep.
  • BlaK is back! I recently lamented that I couldn't find it on store shelves and I suspected it wasn't long for this world. But a recent trip to Target allowed me to satisfy the craving and stock up.
  • After ignoring the invitation to upgrade to the "new Blogger" they recently took away that choice and wisk me away to the upgrade page. Pretty painless, except that my profile now lists me as being 251 years old. That feels about right, so I'll leave that alone. Now onward to the required Flickr upgrade.
  • Am I being "old school" (or just "OLD") thinking of this holiday as Washington's Birthday? Make sure you fulfill your patriotic duty to go buy a mattress or something.
  • || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, February 17, 2007

    Gung Hei Fat Choi!

    Great, as we wind up "The Year of The Dog" I find myself sick as a dog. I'm not sure what that portends for "The Year of the Pig" which starts tomorrow. I suspect it's not hard to imagine myself becoming more of a pig than I already am, but it could just mean more "boorish" behavior on my part.

    But Chinese Feng Shui experts believe the new year will bring us "an upsurge in epidemics, disasters and violent conflicts around the world." Pig years are expected to be more turbulent since they are dominated by fire and water, two conflicting elements in the Chinese zodiac that usually means trouble ahead. HAPPY NEW YEAR everybody!!!

    But since I've done this topic before, I'll just be a lazy ass and repost a few relevant links from the past:

    Feed The Hunger
    Mangled English
    Same To Yu Buddy!
    Happy F'ing New Year
    More New Year's Fun
    The Year of the Rooster
    'Dem Sum Dumplins!
    || JM, 4:22 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    I Have Pressure, You Have Pressure

    A YouTube classic Bus Uncle documents an argument that took place on a Hong Kong bus last year. It's subsequent distribution on 'teh intranets' made it a viral phenomenon, with many of the exchanges becoming Chinese catch-phrases.

    Although I've picked up a little Cantonese over time (mostly food words) from hanging with my wife's family, to my uneducated ear many conversations in Cantonese sound like arguments anyway, one of the reasons that I found this amusing.

    And speaking of unfortunate videos, when I heard that there was a new clip of Britney Spears Naked, this wasn't at all what I expected. Looks like she is trying to be the next Anna Nicole.
    || JM, 4:20 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    “She who teaches me for one day is in some way my mother for life.”
    Chinese proverb
    || JM, 4:18 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Year Of The Dog

    In The waning hours of the "year of the dog" a look at "How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?" from a recent e-mail forward:
    1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
    2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
    3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
    4. Rottweiler: Make me.
    5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
    6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
    7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
    8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
    9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
    10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
    11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."
    12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
    13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
    14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
    Tags: ,
    || JM, 4:13 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, February 16, 2007

    The More You Know...

    Not that you've lost sleep over not knowing, but some trivial knowledge to round out the week. Go ahead, I dare you to work some of the 33 Names of Things You Never Knew had Names into a conversation this weekend.

  • ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
  • CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
  • COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
  • DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
  • FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
  • FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
  • HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
  • HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
  • JARNS, NITTLES, GRAWLIX, and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
  • KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
  • KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
  • LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
  • MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
  • NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
  • OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is `asleep'.
  • OCTOTHORPE - The symbol `#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
  • OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.
  • PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
  • PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
  • PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
  • RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
  • ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
  • SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
  • SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
  • SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
  • SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
  • TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
  • WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
  • ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.
  • Tags:
    || JM, 7:43 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
    Homer Simpson via 50 funniest Homer Simpson Quotes
    || JM, 7:42 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quiz Time

    Like I needed to take to take a webquiz to answer the question "How Weird Are You?" I'm a little surprised that I didn't score higher on the weird scale... yet another disappointment to deal with:

    You Are 50% Weird

    Normal enough to know that you're weird...
    But too damn weird to do anything about it!

    But the real question has to be "Are you brave enough to take the Are You A Certified Asshole quiz?"
    || JM, 7:37 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    T Shirt Of The Day

    Hard to argue with the argument that the Family Butcher T-Shirt makes.
    || JM, 7:34 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, February 13, 2007

    Hearts, Flowers, Yadda, Yadda, etc.

    Yet another Hallmark Holiday, tomorrow marks another real holiday gone retail. If this leaves a bad taste in you mouth as well, you may prefer to celebrate with one of these Be My Anti-Valentine E-Cards. Show that you care in a way that stands out from the whole overdone flower thing.
    || JM, 10:35 AM || link || (5)||comments|| Email this link:

    Be Mine...Or Not

    If you don't embrace the traditional view of Valentine's Day then you might like this Anti-Valentine T-Shirt or one of these other designs.

    But if you want some insight into how the whole thing got started, then feel free to review the Origins of the Valentine. Another Pagan celebration usurped as a Christian tradition.
    || JM, 10:33 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
    Sharon Stone
    || JM, 10:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Prehistoric Love

    Fans of the traditional Valentine's Day celebrations will probably find the recent decision that the prehistoric skeletons found locked in an eternal embrace won't be separated. The young lovers discovered in Italy were probably buried between 5,000 & 6,000 years ago, and their double burial represents a rare finding, and the embracing pose has never been seen before.
    || JM, 10:28 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Scream

    If Valentine's Day wants to make you scream then this video break might just be what you need. The clip is actually a compilation of a stock sound effect, the Wilhelm Scream as used in many famous movies. Armed with this or the song "Yakety Sax" it's probably possible to make anything funny.
    || JM, 10:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, February 11, 2007

    I Shot The Serif

    Since it's introduction by Microsoft back in '95, the typeface "Comic Sans" has been catching on by leaps and bounds. Intended to mimic comic book lettering, it's less formal than traditional fonts, and is ideal for documents that might want a handwritten look. But since it's overused and not always used appropriately, some folks refer to it as the AOL of fonts. Others have started a movement to Ban Comic Sans, and if you feel as strongly about this as they do, feel free to sign the on-line petition.

    They report that it "has enjoyed immense popularity among numerous digital type users including librarians, human resource managers, Powerpoint presenters, and Disney advertisement designers. The typeface has recently become so popular in fact that it has attracted the attention of several important typographic institutions, most notably the Foundation of National Typographers. A recent study by the FoNT foundation reveals some remarkable trends for the fledgling face....The report finds that Comic Sans usage has steadily increased since 1995 at a geometric rate and is well on its way to becoming the most universally used typeface surpassing even Helvetica and Times by approximately 2018. Even more astonishing is the typographic event horizon predicted for the year 2027. The FoNT foundation has determined that according to these trends the only typeface anyone will use by the year 2030 will indeed be Comic Sans."

    Probably NOT the font you want to use when you re-do your resume. A few more links to just beat this to a bloody pulp:

    The Comic Sans Hall of Shame
    Why Comic Sans?
    The Comic Sans Flickr Pool
    Flickr: Photos Tagged With Comicsans
    || JM, 1:52 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Pun Than Humanly Imaginable

    Since I started down the path of paronomasia (or should I say "punning down the road"?) let us engage in a little more word play for a moment. Some folks feel the need to incorporate puns in the name of their business, although I'd have to say that's a bit too cutsey for my tastes.

    The recent story of the "astronaut love triangle" seemed to be a golden opportunity for punsters to spin their wares ("Out To Launch", "Astro-Nut", "Dark Side Of The Loon", "Lust In Space", "The Wrong Stuff") but that of course is yesterday's news once the Anna Nicole story broke. So for today's dose of silly, here are a few more pun thoughts:

  • If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  • I used to think I was indecisive ... but now I am not sure.
  • Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, could they garnish his wages?
  • The most important things in life aren't things.
  • When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.
  • There are three kinds of people, those that can count and those that can't.
  • After breaking his leg in a skiing accident over the Christmas
    holiday, Arnold Schwarzenegger, concerned about his body image, asked his doctor if he could expect any serious bruising. "The doc looked at the Governator and replied, "Thigh'll be black!"
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  • To some, marriage is a word; to others, a sentence.
  • Animal activist Bo Derek was horrified to learn that the Queen Elizabeth wears antique sable coats. She decided to confront the Queen over the issue, and arranged to get herself invited to an event which the Queen was also due to attend. So a couple of months later, there they were at a very high class tea party, Bo started looking around for the Queen. She marched up to the Queen and demanded an answer. Elizabeth responded haughtily and sang the classic song from "The Wizard of Oz," "Some Wear Old Fur to Reign, Bo."
  • || JM, 1:51 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism."
    Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

    || JM, 1:50 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Don't Step in The GUI Mess

    Anthony Cumia (of O & A fame) recently tried to install Windows Vista on his computer. But he ultimately discovered the key to success is making sure you install it on the right machine.

    Although others have come up with yet another solution to the upgrade problem.
    || JM, 1:49 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, February 09, 2007


    I delude myself that I can roll with the punches, but in reality I dislike change as much as the next person. And sometimes I'll let little unimportant things "bug me" disproportionately. But knowing you have "issues" doesn't always make it easier to deal with them.

    After ignoring repeated pop-ups telling me "There is a new version of iTunes available" I ignored their invitation to upgrade. I've learned the hard way to avoid any "beta" or "dot-zero" software. But when I tried to use iTunes recently it wasn't working so I realized it was now time to get the new version, because if I didn't I'd miss out on the weekly "free download" song. Great, I've got "issues" AND I'm cheap, a nice combination.

    Luckily, the new version works just fine. The problem I have is that they went and changed the icon from the old familiar green to a blue one, which just doesn't cut it for me. Apparently, this isn't the first icon change as this iTunes Icon Timeline illustrates. And yes, I know I can change it back to the green one, but I won't bother. It just seems odd that with all the serious problems in the world, I'd be worried about the color of a desktop icon.

    And speaking of music, I see that McSweeney's Lists has posted the Band Names Rejected by the Smashing Pumpkins:

  • Eating Candy
  • Wearing Costumes
  • Carving Pumpkins
  • Smashing Mailboxes
  • Egging Houses
  • TP'ing Front Yards
  • Drinking Schnapps
  • Razorblading Snickers
  • Shitbombing Principal Reynolds' Beemer
  • Riding in Squad Cars
  • Calling Stepdad for Bail
  • Doing Community Service
  • || JM, 12:15 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

    Running Scared

    Poking around on The Onion I stumbled upon an old "infographic" from '04 illustrating What Are We Running Away From? which is kinda' cute. But as is usually the case, the line between comedy and tragedy is thin indeed.

    I'm afraid that if a "real" survey was done today, the "16% running away from participatory democracy" would be much higher. Despite our recent midterm election where voters clearly registered their displeasure over the current Iraq policy, it's business as usual for "the decider". Apparently he has taken the mantle "leader of the free world" (& when are we going to stop deluding ourselves about that?) to mean he can ignore popular wisdom and the will of the masses to do whatever he damn well pleases.

    Sure, just go ahead and spend an extra $100 billion dollars on this flawed and unnecessary war effort. Funding? No problem, we'll just cut $66 billion from Medicare and another $12 billion from the Medicaid budgets. Those elderly and poor people shouldn't be getting sick anyway! As a "compassionate conservative" I'm sure he feels bad about that. What's a little sacrifice if it means we bring peace, freedom, and democracy to the middle east? That seems to be working out pretty well.

    The irony of this situation is that it was completely avoidable, and highlights the bad choices we've made. What if we hadn't engaged in an unnecessary war and had made equivalent expenditures on social programs, healthcare, education or infrastructure repairs here in our country? I'm dreaming here I'm sure, but we would have been better off both at home and abroad had we pursued quality of life goals rather than the neo-con agenda.

    But if that isn't bad enough, our "fearless leader" still insists he knows best. He continues to lead us down the path to yet another war, this time against Iran. I can only hope that the Democratic leadership finds it's voice soon; so far I'm a bit disappointed that an effective opposition hasn't emerged although it's early in the game. But this is one game we can't afford to lose.
    || JM, 12:10 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."
    Peter Drucker
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Fly Me

    Ken Jennings (of Jeopardy fame) recently shared this list of The world’s most unfortunately coded airports:
    Perm, Russia (PEE)
    Pocos de Caldas, Brazil (POO)
    Butler, Missouri (BUM)
    Samcheok, Korea (SUK)
    Fukuoka, Japan (FUK)
    Dickinson, North Dakota (DIK)
    Sembach, Germany (SEX)
    || JM, 12:04 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    The Daily Show's Jon Stewart had a perceptive take on this, since it's hard to imagine that they couldn't have considered the feelings of the many displaced and unemployed auto workers composed of flesh and blood prior to the airing of this GM Suicide Robot commercial. Hard to believe that they pulled it based upon objections from suicide prevention groups.
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, February 06, 2007

    It's Dead, Jim

    A pretty cool look back at Dead Sodas that have come and gone. I'm a bit surprised that Coke BlaK isn't on the list yet. It's probably only a matter of time, since it's almost impossible to find this stuff anymore. The coffee/cola fusion wasn't going to be a mass market item, but was I the only one who liked it?
    || JM, 10:19 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Call Alice

    Back "in the day" Star Trek TOS spent much of it's creative energy on plots that reflected the political situation of the time. This mash-up of original series footage and Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit suggests a different direction.

    And Capn Wacky's Memos Uncovered from the Offices of NBC (c. 1969) of Slogans Engineered to Renew Viewer and Advertiser Interest in Star Trek suggests yet another:

  • "Rock Out With Your Spock Out"
  • "More sexy green chicks this season!"
  • "Try to guess which crew member is gay. Come on, try - we'll even give you a clue: Believe it or not, it's not the Russian one."
  • "Trek is not Drek"
  • "50% more Uhura, 50% less Uhura's uniform"
  • "Now with more dead ensigns!"
  • "To boldly go where no man has gone before- To THE EXTREME!" (Caution- slogan may not be relevant for several decades)
  • "Star Trek '69 - Sounds so DIRTY!"
  • "Klingon - to futuristic adventure!"
  • "Enjoy Scotty Now Before He Gets Old and Fat"
  • "Set phasers for Renewed Interest!"
  • "We Can't Make These Skirts Any Shorter!"
  • "If Star Trek Gets Cancelled, We'll Just Give Shatner Another Show Anyway"

  • A few more fan video mixes, in case you find this kind of junk amusing:
    Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other
    Wanted Dead or Alive
    A Different Love
    Love Triangle w/The Cure
    || JM, 10:16 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "You [humans] find it easier to understand the death of one than the death of a million."
    "The Immunity Syndrome," stardate 4307.1.
    A Quote From Mr. Spock
    || JM, 10:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Blink, And You Miss It

    Yet another Star Trek related topic, is last night's appearance of Sulu as Hiro's father on Heroes. A nice tip 'o the hat to ST was the "NCC 1701" license plate on his car.

    As much as I'm liking this show, I'm still occasionally bugged by it's illogical details. Pretty much everything surrounding the Sylar capture/escape storyline falls into that category for me, but I'm willing to let it pass under the umbrella of dramatic license. What I'm NOT willing to forgive are the "teaser" commercials which continue to expose too much information about upcoming events. Too many times we see scenes that would really pack a wallop "IF" they hadn't already shown them as "coming attractions". That's regrettable, since otherwise it's a darned good Sci-Fi ride. My strategy has been to take the dog out during the next week preview, but unfortunately the commercials expose these same spoiler moments.
    || JM, 10:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, February 05, 2007

    Not What It Seems

    Taxing your powers of observation, a few images of Cool art that will mess with your head from Frogview (VIA digg).
    || JM, 8:06 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Also Not As It Seems

    Anybody other than me think this year's Superbowl commercials weren't up to the typical creative/funny standards that we've come to expect in previous years? This FedEx spot made me laugh, but that was about it. Even the Budweiser ads, which are usually among the best left me cold, although Spot Wink is probably going to bring a smile to your face.
    || JM, 8:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."
    Thomas Carlyle
    || JM, 8:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Great Googly Moogly!

    From the "Department of I Told You So" comes this look back at an article from the year 2000 that I stumbled upon while doing a Google search. Beware of Bush; He's Not What He Seems offers a pretty accurate prognostication of what was to come. If we are lucky, let's hope the cartoon has similar foreshadowing powers.
    || JM, 8:02 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link: