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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Thursday, March 30, 2006


United States Of Whatever

I didn't know that this anthem of teen angst done by Liam Lynch was done as part of a sock puppet show (Sifl & Olly) that was on MTV. It must have aired during one of those periods when I was boycotting TV.

Actually, I think the quality of TV might just be improved with the addition of more sock puppets. If CBS doesn't grab Katie Couric to anchor the evening news, I think they would be wise to consider sock puppets as a back-up plan. Just a suggestion.
|| JM, 2:17 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Foto Fun

Worth 1000 Photoshop Contest
After having Dubya as Preznut, it's hard to use "fun" and "propaganda" in the same sentence. But this recent Worth 1000 Photoshop contest manages to take old propaganda posters and put them to humorous uses.
|| JM, 2:16 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"April 1st: This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three-hundred and sixty-four."
Mark Twain

(But Is April Fools Day Dying Out?)
|| JM, 2:14 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Reasons to keep all your eggs in one basket (VIA Information Junk)
  • You have no eggs.
  • You only have one egg.
  • Because if you didn't use a basket, they would all fall down and break. You can't just hover eggs in midair!!! I have to tell you this?
  • Having only one basket was good enough for your ancestors, so it's good enough for you.
  • It looks like one basket is going to be the fad this season.
  • You are too busy burning your candle at both ends to have time to put your eggs into multiple baskets.
  • Knowing all your eggs might break gives you that 'living on the edge' high.
  • || JM, 2:13 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Size Matters; But...

    The Perfect Penis??? (VIA Metafilter)
    Dude...WTF were you thinking? A VERY NSFW link with video of a guy who has undergone several years of silicone injections to the 'ol naughty bits. I'm pretty much speechless. Probably as painful to watch as were the treatments. And the real tragedy here is that he will never be able to travel into space.
    || JM, 2:11 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 29, 2006


    I find myself increasingly daydreaming about Hawaii, that is when I'm not daydreaming about, well, you know. Maybe it's the craving for tropical temperatures as Mother Nature teases with more Spring-like weather. It's more likely the "mind-control screen saver" that I have to look at everyday at work that tauntingly tells me that we have "locations from Manhattan to Maui". Thanks for reminding me, that's sure to increase my productivity.

    As a way to exorcise these thoughts, a visit to a few tropical island links just might help:
    Hawaii Five-O Home Page
    Learn To Speak Hawaiian
    Maui: Up-Close and Personal
    They say it's not the destination, but the journey. When you drive The Road To Hana, BOTH are actually pretty outstanding. And be sure to include a side trip to My FAVORITE Restaurant!
    || JM, 10:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Body Parts

    Oh baby, fire up the iTunes. I think I see an idea for a new playlist. Wikipedia's List of songs about body parts provides the inspiration. I'm sure I'll never add some of these songs even though my tastes are pretty eclectic. Debbie Gibson, Kim Carnes, and Poison are all safe bets NOT to make the final cut. What surprises me is that I've only got two songs from the list already on my iPod: "Detachable Penis" by King Missile, and "Baby Got Back", although I've got the less traditional smaltzy cover by Jonathan Coulton.

    And in the event you would like to have something truly unique that's sure to be a conversation starter, these body parts keychains featuring smooth realistic skin complete with pierced jewelry are sure to either garner comments or leave one speechless.
    || JM, 10:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Here now a list of requirements for Dick Cheney's `downtime suite'...Cheney wants bottled water, decaffeinated coffee. He wants his lights on. He wants the temperature at 68 degrees, the TV's must be tuned to Fox news. I was thinking, 'My God, I wish they would have put this much preparation into the Iraq War.'"
    David Letterman
    || JM, 10:19 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Different Kind Of Presidential Terror

    FROM: Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List
    Ten Ways Life Would Change If Stephen King Were Elected President:
  • The government's position on "terror" would undoubtedly change entirely.
  • The most terrifying State of the Union addresses in recorded history.
  • Our long national nightmare has just begun.
  • Less money to fight terrorists, more spent on fighting possessed cars and evil clowns.
  • Transylvania will be nuked to stop the spread of vampires.
  • Arlington National Pet Cemetery
  • Long the subjects of prejudice and accusations of corruption, the dead would finally be legally allowed to vote.
  • The President's term of office would be expanded into a trilogy.
  • All visiting dignitaries must enter the White House via the creepy 10 acre hedge maze.
  • President fascinating on paper, but lousy on the big screen.
  • || JM, 10:18 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Fired Up Weight Loss Program?

    Brent From The Apprentice touts his much vaunted 4 Bagel Diet Plan. This seems like a bad, bad idea. And his plan for the weekends is to "have a meal which has lots of calories: For example, chicken fingers and cheese fries, pizza, ice cream sundae, cake, etc." Let the buyer beware.
    || JM, 10:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 27, 2006

    What You Gon' Do With All That Junk?

    It really isn't a surprise to see that Bush was determined to go to war during the period that he was going through the motions that vaguely resembled diplomacy. But it was a bit of a revelation to find out that Saddam Hussein actually had Camels of Mass Destruction! And this wasn't all that new as these old Camel Photos will show.

    UPDATE: Crooks and Liars features a hilarious parody of The Black Eyed Peas-featuring George Bush doing the song "My Slump" which fits this theme perfectly!
    || JM, 10:53 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
    Lily Tomlin
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    Can You Hear?

    Blue Man Group on Global Warming

    And for a little more substance:
    Global Warming FAQ
    Nova & Frontline: What's Up With The Weather?
    Climate Change
    || JM, 10:51 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 26, 2006

    Yo, Dog

    Shizzle My Pizzle Stick!
    JAKKS Pacific, Inc. announced it has signed a licensing agreement to develop a line of pet products based on the name and image of rap artist Snoop Dogg. The new pet products deal will cover toys, beds, leashes, apparel, treats and more for dogs under the company's JPI pet division. JAKKS expects to begin shipping the Snoop Dogg-branded pet line in 2006 to retail locations nationwide.

    For thizzle dog who dizzle thizzle vizzle bizzle, I guess. And a few more Dog related links to round things out:
    Gizoogle = Fo aall you beotches who wanna finf shiznit
    Snoop Dog Translator
    Lyrics translated by Snoop Dogg
    And since "Tha Shizzolator" no longer seems to be up, here's a Universal Translator instead.
    Protect your pet's hearing with Mutt Muffs!
    || JM, 5:38 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    What Kind Of Fool Am I?

    I just saw that there is a move afoot to Sell The New Jersey Turnpike and Garden State Parkway to a private company, which in this case is Prudential. My first thought was that could be one of those hoaxes like when they announced the Taco Bell Liberty Bell or Google Gulp, but apparently it's the real deal. You have to wonder if that means that they will go for "naming rights" like football stadiums? If that's the case, then perhaps Nascar or a funeral home should be in the bidding, since both roads seem increasingly dangerous. Then again, "The Prudential LIFE INSURANCE Parkway" just might help keep the speeds down to less dangerous levels.

    Since April Fool's day will soon be upon us, here are some links that might get you in the mood:
    April Fools' Day Origins
    Windows Prank Software (almost an oxymoron)
    FlapArt: Fake Book Covers
    Practical JokeBook
    || JM, 5:37 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without."
    || JM, 5:36 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    See The Light

    Light-Transmitting Concrete
    This is a pretty cool item, they have developed a new type of concrete that is translucent. By mixing optical fibers into the concrete a "see-through" concrete block is created. But as much as I like it, I can't imagine a single place where I'd want to utilize it around my house. And if you DID use it, then I guess my frequent stone-throwing would have to be a thing of the past.
    || JM, 5:34 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Rant and Rage

    Some days you pick up the morning paper and just want to go back to bed. A solid parade of stories that make me ask, what happened to the country that I thought I lived in? Once there was at least the facade of fairness and compassion in this country, even if the results weren't always there. I always thought that I lived in a country that gave me hope for the future, and not a continued fear of what atrocity or outrageous decision will come next. A place where the next generation will live in a world that's a little bit better than what came before it. Any sort of optimism is rather tough to maintain these days.

    First, I read that school curriculums around the country are being narrowed and "dumbed-down" in order to meet the requirements of the No Child Left Behind act. Teaching to the test seems a sure fired way to lower the bar and bring down the quality of education. Not the best way to invest in our future, I'll make the cynical assumption that these students will be more likely to vote Republican.

    But there are so many other issues on the front pages daily that are just as bad. Our divisive immigration policy which makes illegal immigrants felons is another shameful chapter in a dark moment of American history. The continuing quagmire of death & violence we've stired up in Iraq is another. Dubya and his minions continue to embrace torture and preemptive attack as public policy, and deny the existence & effects of global warming, to the amazement of most of the country and the rest of the world. We have an economy, which despite all the Preznuts' assertions of health, seems to be moving in the wrong direction, at least for most Americans who don't reside in the upper echelon income brackets.

    Where are the voices of outrage? Where are the Howard Beales? Where is the Democratic voice OR strategy for that matter? To assume the the large black cloud that is hanging over our country will result in a cleansing spring shower that will wash the bums out of office isn't the best strategy. Despite the polls that show people viewing Democrats a bit more favorably, this shouldn't lead to a sense of complacency or entitlement. Races are won or lost on the local level, and current sentiment means nothing by the time people go to the poling booths. And let's hope that they aren't Diebold machines.

    Normally, a rant like this makes me feel better. This one just made my head hurt. I need some event that will return my optimism to me. Soon; very soon.
    || JM, 5:27 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, March 24, 2006

    Goodbye, Children

    Favorite Moments From "The Return of Chef"
    Just when you think Matt and Trey couldn't be anymore outrageous than they have been in the past, they find new ways to shock and offend. This weeks episode was a direct shot at the bow of Scientology, portraying Chef as the victim of an evil mind-controlling cult. Many people have been consumed by "March Madness" and might have missed this episode, so if you want to be brought up to speed, this recap should do the trick. And you can count on Keith Olbermann for his take on the subject.
    || JM, 9:40 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    TV Time

    20 Wonderfully Irrelevant Andy Griffith Show Conversations (VIA linkfilter)
    As a pallet cleanser, perhaps a return to the simpler days of classic TV would be in order? A nice look back at some of the banter between Andy and Barney, some of it improvised by the actors, some scripted by writers.
    || JM, 9:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
    Mark Twain
    || JM, 9:37 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Just Ask Nicely

    In today's world, where corruption and deception are so commonplace it's refreshing to see a site where they are being straightforward and honest about their purpose. Give Us All Your Money (VIA Found on the Web) might be about as straightforward as you can get.
    || JM, 9:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Limerick Time

    Madeleine Begun Kane: The Rich And Unethical Harris (VIA skippy the bush kangaroo)
    The rich and unethical Harris
    For her record should feel quite embarrassed.
    But she breathily brags
    She'll spend all and wear rags
    To be Sen. Not a porn star in Paris.
    || JM, 9:33 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, March 23, 2006

    A Cautionary Tale

    It was certainly good news to see the headline "After 40 Years, Separatists in Spain Declare Cease-Fire". Anytime people can settle their differences in a peaceful fashion should be time for celebration.

    But at the risk of being disrespectful, I can't get the following joke out of my mind: "One day not so long ago there was a fire at a Spanish restaurant in southern France. But unfortunately there was only one emergency exit available for the diners to use to get out of the restaurant. As a result, many people were injured in the ensuing stampede. One can conclude that the moral of this story is: Don't put all your Basques in one exit!"
    || JM, 12:21 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Today's Dose Of Cute

    Puppy War
    Sure, "Hot or Not" type sites are so yesterday. But, what the heck, you get to pick which puppy is the cutest. How can you go wrong?
    || JM, 12:16 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few."
    George Bernard Shaw
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    G Wiz

    Hack Attack: Become a Gmail master (VIA linkfilter)
    A good "how-to" article featuring tips on how to get the most out of one of the best web-based email services available.
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    Blogger strikes again, since when I try to post a comment here or on any other Blogger site I'm being ask to use the word "smenita" as a verification every darned time and the comment doesn't post. I really thought Smenita was the name of the Indian woman who lives down the street, and NOT the stuff of word verification but I could be wrong. This gets very frustrating; it's not that I had any profound thoughts to post here or elsewhere, but it's just the idea that I can't that bothers me.

    I can't find any relevant info on the FAQ page except the advice to clear my cookies, which did nada to correct the problem. Is this my problem, or is it a Blogger issue that is more global? Blogger has such a great support system...but you get what you pay for I guess. Ah, but for anyone to answer this'd have to be able to leave a comment! Makes me think I need to check out Haloscan. (Update: it looked like the problem was fixed...BUT now it's back, and it looks like I'm not the only who is frustrated!!!)
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 22, 2006

    Star Trek Links, Once Again

    TOS Boehemian Rhapsody

    You might think I'm obsessed since ST links appear here quite frequently from time to time. It's probably just a minor case of fanatisism, and a major case of loving to beat a dead horse...figuratively, that is...I really don't need any PETA problems. So let the beating begin:
    Re-Enactment: Star Trek: First Contact (VIA Metafilter)
    Enterprise: The Mirror Universe
    The Picard Song
    Picard is a pervert!
    Scottish Star Trek
    Kirk vs Picard
    Picard + Crusher + U2
    Puppy Trek
    || JM, 12:19 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Pause That Refreshes

    Looks like we will have to wait just a bit longer until we get Coca-Cola BlaK. They describe it as "Coke effervescence with coffee essence" which somehow sounds like a pretty interesting mix. Not being able to get it just has me craving it more since I always want what I can't have. Pepsi tried something like this a few years ago and pulled the plug on it, but then again plenty of Pepsi brands have come and gone before.
    || JM, 12:16 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."
    Horace Walpole
    || JM, 12:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Beat It

    Michael Dragson
    Why should MJ have all the fun when it comes time to re-make his face? Now, you too can do a virtual makeover of his ever changing face as well!
    || JM, 12:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, March 21, 2006

    Same Ol' Same Old

    I had the misfortune to catch a few minutes of Bush's News Conference before I left this morning. On one hand, it was refreshing to see Helen Thomas try to get a straight answer from the shrub about what was the real reason we went to war and why he lied to us about it. But his dismissive denial was pretty much the same set of discredited cliches that he has been repeating again and again. You just knew you would be hearing "September 11th" and "oceans don't protect us" pretty quickly, and on this point he delivered the goods really soon. Luckily, I had to leave and missed the rest of the spin/denial/lies/delusions that followed.

    Moments like this are apparently becoming more frequent, as the majority finally realizes that the emperor has no clothes. I'm not sure what his handlers are thinking, putting him out there in unscripted situations where he has to answer real questions, and not the pre-screened softballs like in the old days. I can only think that they are that desperate, and they hope that sticking to the talking points and looking tough will pull them through yet another crisis. The problem with that is that he's beginning to look a little frazzled, but the White House Press corps let him off easy, looking more like a fraternity mixer than the boxing match it really should have been. He talks about our enemies ruling by "intimidation & fear", but none of the frat boys had the balls to point out that that pretty much describes US foreign policy as well.

    In the event you missed yesterday's Keith Olbermann, I think he pretty much sums up the increasing frustration we all have with his the crap he continues to shamelessly shovel: "Who does the President think he's F'n kidding?" In case you missed it Crooks and Liars has the video. Can't wait to see what he has to say tonight.

    And the new McSweeney's piece rings far too true: Parallels Between My Living Through Two Years of Middle School and the Two Terms of the Bush Presidency
    The radical changes going on around me make me uncomfortable.
    I am unhappy about the way things are, but feel helpless to do anything about it.
    Shame is my dominant emotion.
    I feel very insecure and vulnerable.
    Others supposedly feel as I do, but whenever I turn on the TV it seems otherwise.
    At times, I wish I lived in a faraway country....
    || JM, 3:24 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures."
    Daniel Webster
    || JM, 3:23 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Not So Tough Choices

    Since Tuesday Is ChooseDay you are presented with the following choices:
      Would you rather:
    1. be an evil genius OR a super-spy?
    2. be addicted to eating raw eggs OR sticks of butter?
    3. punch hulk hogan in the face OR throw a rock at george bush?
    4. have bionic eyes OR one bionic arm?

    The first choice isn't tough at all, since who among us would choose to be evil, unless your last name is Cheney. And given the choice of eating raw eggs or consuming sticks of butter, somehow the butter is less offensive. Tempting as it is to throw a punch at the Hulkster, I'm going to have to throw rocks at the Preznut. Let's hope that doesn't earn me a visit from some government agent or my inclusion on some watch list. The last choice is easy as well, since the novelty of the bionic arm would probably wear off quickly, but bionic eyesight could come in really handy, not that I'm a voyeur or anything, but the day to day applications of this skill would be much more fun AND practical.
    || JM, 3:18 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 20, 2006

    Send In The Clowns

    Kung Fu Clown

    And while we are clowning around, a few more related links:
    Ducky DooLittle, Kinky Klown
    The redundantly titled Gallery of Scary Clowns
    Pogo: A good reason to fear clowns
    The Evil Clown of Middletown
    Clown Phobia: Treatment and Hope
    Who Was Krusty Modeled After?
    List of clowns
    || JM, 9:03 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Good Day To...

    The Alphabet According to Worf (VIA Look At This...)

    Everyones' favorite Klingon walks us through the alphabet.
    || JM, 9:01 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
    Douglas Adams
    || JM, 9:00 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Nice Melons!

    Pumpkin Porn
    I'm not really sure why anyone would do this. They use the excuse "because we could". Not a good enough excuse, but it's better than none. And do I have to even mention that this one is NSFW? I didn't think so.
    || JM, 8:59 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quiz Time

    I'm always a sucker for almost any silly web quiz that I stumble upon, so when I saw How Abnormal Are You? I couldn't resist taking it for a spin. I'm not thrilled with the results, though:
    You Are 36% Abnormal

    You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.

    You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

    You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

    You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

    You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.
    || JM, 8:57 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 19, 2006

    Pop Art

    Gallery of the Absurd shows us how it might look If Lichtenstein Had Painted Britney Spears. And as a special treat an updated Tom Cruise South Park character as well.
    || JM, 11:36 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Disappointments and Surprise

    Sometimes you just expect to be disappointed. Any product found on a late night infomercial, deals that seem too good to be true, any pronouncement that comes out of the mouth of a Bush administration official; with all of those things you just expect to have an outcome that's less than what's promised. But when I passed the frozen food section at the grocery store and saw Hot Pockets Biscuits I thought it didn't sound half bad and I bought a box. That was a big mistake.

    Breakfast is probably my favorite meal of the day, largely because I get to eat, read my morning paper, and down a pot of coffee as a leisurely way to ease into the day. Actually the paper and the coffee are probably the best part of the routine, but I at least like to have something decent to eat, and this steaming pile of microwaved poo just didn't even come close. Serves me right for being too lazy to scramble an egg.

    And speaking of different food, the other day at work somebody brought in a box of Entemanns that I hadn't seen before: Delicias Latinas. I honestly thought that was a porn site, but what do I know? But it's not the first time that food and porn have been confused.
    || JM, 11:33 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all."
    Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
    || JM, 11:32 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Same To Yu Buddy!

    I can never get enough of Engrish!
    || JM, 11:29 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Failure To Update

    At least Wally has a sense of purpose. I haven't had that recently at least as far as blogging is concerned. A few of the reasons why:

  • Real life beckons. Nothing major, nothing bad, but just too busy.
  • Nothing "grabs me" and when it does I suddenly see it on 20 other blogs. I do enough "me too" postings as it is; no need for more of that than there has to be.
  • Lack of creativity. When I'm doing something else many times I'll have an idea that seems funny, but by the time I get to a computer what comes out is a rambling rant that doesn't even interest me any more. One step removed from the brilliant idea you get in the middle of the night which you forget by the time you wake up.
  • Been there done that. I guess you could call it blogger burnout and you realize that you are just repeating what you've already covered.
  • Toyed with the idea of refocusing the blog on just one theme, but that would take too much effort. Besides, for every "genre" I pick, there is someone else doing it so much better.
  • PSP addiction. Although I still suck at Grand Theft Auto I find myself spending larger portions of my "time wasting time" trying to maneuver the streets of Liberty City. But as much as I might enjoy the game, I see that they are considering a live action version which just seems like a really bad idea. The game is a rich, immersive world that would make any other treatment seem one dimensional. Just when you think you've got it figured out, it throws a new twist at you. The other day I was fighting a Chinese triad (in the game, of course) and I had run out of weapons. I was successfully avoiding being slashed by the cleaver wielding gang members when a female pedestrian came up and started pummeling me and yelling as well. But what she was yelling at me was pretty much verbatim what an old girlfriend used to say during, shall we say "moments of intimacy". I found this so funny, I started laughing so hard I almost dropped the game. I need to stop playing this in the bathroom, since I get too into it and I lose track of time. Worse yet is that these extended sessions cause both my legs to fall asleep and then I can't stand up! (TMI, I'm sure.)
  • || JM, 11:25 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 15, 2006

    Here's Bo!

    retroCRUSH: Bo Derek Trading Cards
    A look back at one of the strangest trading cards ever made, this series features Bo Derek. If the idea of a 47 year old guy dating a 17 year old girl doesn't completely creep you out, then you might just enjoy this one.
    || JM, 11:28 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Different Point Of View

    Your Normal Day (VIA Eyebeam reBlog)
    A beautifully simple idea that allows you to view some beautiful sights as well. Your normal day might be boring to you, but to someone else who isn't used to your routine it would be a breath of fresh air. The project features one photo taken every hour of a given normal day. And you can sign up to participate and share yours if you are so inclined!
    || JM, 11:26 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The further one pursues knowledge, the less one knows."
    || JM, 11:26 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Super Hero Bust...So To Speak

    Not-Wonderful Woman (VIA BlogMonkey)
    An amusing look at the video and background of a never produced pilot (thankfully) of a Wonder Woman TV show from the mid 60's.
    || JM, 11:25 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    To Boldly Glow

    Star Trek Parodies
    Peter Anspach has written a series of parodies, each of which attempts to answer the deep philosophical question: "How would Starfleet's finest go about the task of changing a light bulb?"
    || JM, 11:23 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, March 14, 2006

    Vidy O'Link

    Irish Language Lab
    Just in time for Saint Patrick's Day, now you too can learn to speak like the Irish! But, no video link for Steak and BJ Day much to everyone's relief!
    || JM, 10:18 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    And Bingo Was Its' Name-O

    BS Bingo (VIA Bits & Pieces)
    Now THIS could be fun...just print these game-cards before the next boring meeting and sit back and watch the fun. Also good for conference calls, since you can click the squares on the screen as they use the buzzwords.
    || JM, 10:15 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Whenever people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong."
    Oscar Wilde
    || JM, 10:14 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    On The Lookout

    Gawker Stalker
    I've always suspected that the obsessive part of my personality might make me an ideal candidate for the perfect stalker. Luckily, that's never been put to the test. Now with this new Gawker utilization of Google maps, I can probably channel the stalker in me and avoid those annoying restraining orders.

    Unfortunately, I've had pretty bad luck with my celebrity sightings. If you don't count the work related ones (personal appearances by celebrities) and the "pressing the flesh" done by politicians, I've only run into two: Neal Gabler and George Michaels. And it WASN'T the singer, but the sportscaster. A pretty lame record. The wife has quite a few more, most of them "B" or "C" list celebrities but her best one was while sitting in a restaurant she realized that Jacques Cousteau was at the next table. Anybody else have any good ones to report?
    || JM, 10:13 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Election '06 Preview

    Sirotablog: GOP's culture of corruption vs. Dems culture of weakness
    Let's just forget about the fact that congressional Democrats refuse to take a serious position on the Iraq War - the most pressing national security issue of the day. Let's forget about what a joke it is for the party to think it is going to compete on national security without taking a serious, contrasting position on the war. Let's even forget about the fact that the party is still too afraid to do this while polls have now shown for 3 years that the American public wants a change of direction on war policy. Let's just take a look at what's gone on over the last week.

    First, you saw the House Democratic Leadership publicly pee down its leg in knee-shaking fright, removing a major report on Republican corruption from its website....

    Then, yesterday, you saw Democratic Senators run for cover when one of their own - Sen. Russ Feingold (D) - courageously asked the U.S. Senate to stand up and defend the Constitution by censuring the president for breaking the law with his illegal, no-court-order domestic wiretapping scheme. Again, polls show the public believes the president should have to get a court order, and should not be able to simply make up laws on his own. Yet, Senate Democrats - cowering in fear in the comfortable confines of the Senate cloakroom - refused to back up Feingold....

    The question, then, of the 2006 election is really simple: will voters support the GOP's culture of corruption, or will they support Democrats culture of weakness?...

    People certainly hate corruption, but polls show most believe both parties are corrupt. And people would likely rather have a corrupt party running the show, then one that is so weak, so indecisive, and so needlessly frightened of its own shadow that it can't take the most basic stands....

    If you are just a little bit nostalgic about the Democratic party in better days, this little video just might do the trick. Let's hope they can get it together and not let this opportunity slip through their fingers.
    || JM, 10:05 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 13, 2006

    More Gassy Stuff

    It wasn't that long ago that I linked to a cool site that featured pictures of gas stations, and confessed to my obsession on the subject. So here is yet another great series of gas station pictures as found at the Vintage Gas Museum. The only problem I have with this one is the series of weird memories that it dredges up.

    Seeing the slogan on the gas station wall "Atlantic keeps your car on the go" dredges up the memory of a long dormant advertising jingle that got stuck in my head as a child, and unfortunately is now stuck there again. Almost makes me glad that fewer and fewer advertisers rely upon jingles these days.

    And the other weird memory that this made me recall is "The Atlantic Weatherman". Back in the early days of TV, Atlantic apparently sponsored the weather report on a variety of local newscasts in their marketing area. This featured commercials but the signature move was that the weather report was delivered by a guy in an Atlantic uniform, hat and bow tie. Yes, children in the old days gas stations featured attendants who pumped the gas, wore uniforms, gave you free stuff as an enticement to buy their product, and charged about 30 cents a gallon....but those were different times. And this reminds me of another really weird TV weather format where on Baltimore's channel 11 they had the weather delivered by puppets! But at least this suggests a bit more creativity than what I've seen recently on TV newscasts. The current crop of TV weather persons seems to consist of one of these three cliches: the jolly fat guy, the blow-dried hunk, or the weather-babe. This is progress?
    || JM, 11:24 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
    Will Rogers
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    What I Wouldn't Give

    McSweeney's: Things I Might Be Convinced to Give My Left Arm For
  • World peace
  • Cloak of invisibility
  • Bottomless margarita
  • Pegasus unicorn
  • Fifteen minutes with Jesus (or Bono)
  • Magic credit card
  • Bionic robot arm
  • || JM, 11:22 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Bye, Bye

    Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park'
    Apparently upset that Matt & Trey chose to pick on Scientology, Isaac Hays says goodbye to South Park. Or as Chef would say; "kiss my chocolate salty balls".
    || JM, 11:19 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 12, 2006

    Welcome To The Future

    MST3K: Century 21 Calling

    This Ma Bell sponsored look at the future as presented at the '62 World's Fair would be pretty funny on it's own, but the comments from the crew of Mystery Science Theater 3000 take this to a whole new level of hilarity. And for more time wasting fun, a few more MST3K shorts for your viewing pleasure:
    Date With The Family
    Body Care and Grooming
    A Case Of Spring Fever
    Mr. B Natural
    What To Do On A Date
    || JM, 11:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Bada Bing!

    I couldn't help but shake my head when I read this about the Sopranos Tour that takes to to view local sites used in filming the show:

    "Gareth Edwards, visiting from Wales with his wife, said the tour was a highlight of their five-day trip to New York City. 'I'm a big fan of The Sopranos. We've got all the DVDs,' he said. They ranked the tour as important as tours of other New York landmarks they visited, including the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center and ground zero. 'It's better than a museum,' added Edwards".

    Jeese Louise, I'm as big of a fan of The Sopranos as anybody, but this is a bit much. Maybe it's because I've seen many of these sites before, and know that if I really wanted to see the others it's a short hop to do so, although I too would be disappointed to find the "Bada Bing" with clothed dancers. But to say that these rather mundane sites were "better than a museum" represents a kind of lowbrow refinement that I've come to expect from a country that elected a pretzel choking idiot twice to the highest office in the land, and not what I was expecting from those across the pond. Apparently I've given Europeans too much credit. Trust me, pick a museum or two if you are given the choice.
    || JM, 11:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
    Aldous Huxley
    || JM, 11:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Queen Of Pin-Ups

    I hate it when I start to take myself seriously and get disappointed when I see someone post something that I was just about to do. I had been meaning to delve into a few links about The Notorious Bettie Page before the new movie comes out. Too late, since I've seen Bettie links all over the place. When did I start thinking that I was doing something even remotely original? We are fishing in a shallow pool and this is to be expected. Bettie is a classic icon of pin-ups, whose style and beauty have influenced many who have followed, so yet another look at this woman of mystery isn't a bad thing at all:
    Gretchen Mol as Bettie
    A Tribute and Guide
    Hips, lips &'s Betty Page
    A Golden Age for a Pinup (VIA Boing Boing)
    || JM, 11:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    iPod + iTease

    I found myself powerless to avoid linking to this NSFW but oh so funny parody of an iPod commercial combined with pr0n.
    || JM, 11:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, March 10, 2006

    A Good Idea And A Bad One

    It's tempting to say that this recent Reuters photo of Dick Cheney comes to us courtesy of the unintended irony department, but the more I think about it I'm sure the framing/cropping was no accident. I would say we should be so lucky, but it would probably lead to the Condi being elevated to the VP slot, which would be no bargain either.

    And from the "more of the same" department, skippy the bush kangaroo points us towards speculation that the Dubai Ports turnover to an American entity might turn out to be Halliburton.
    || JM, 8:48 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Must See TV

    Dogs On TV
    One thing that never fails to amuse is pictures of dogs in funny outfits. Now, thanks to Archie McPhee you can order this slide set of dogs in outlandish gear that comes with an attractive plastic TV for your viewing pleasure.

    And as a bonus, a mini linkdump of some funny videos found on the web. Just be forewarned, all are pretty much NSFW, unless you work in a pretty laidback environment.

    Catchy Tune
    Need Glasses?
    Oh Baby!
    Don't Work So Hard
    How Men Screw Up Romance
    || JM, 8:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Beam Me Up!

    Save precious time putting on your Klingon makeup for the next Star Trek convention by getting these subdermal implants. And if you're not a ST fan, you can have these body "modifications" (or would that be mutilations?) in almost any form you choose. I choose to run away, screaming in terror.
    || JM, 8:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "I had amnesia once or twice."
    Steven Wright
    || JM, 8:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Grass Is Always Greener...

    It looks like I'm going to have to have a change of heart about my lawn care philosophy. First of all, you have no idea how traumatic it is to even have to admit that I have a philosophy on that, since I've always prided myself on not buying into that whole "suburban" mind set. But living in midst of "the burbs" gives me zero chance of NOT turning into the Stepford Husband.

    Last summer, when we were having an extended stretch of dry weather my lawn turned into this giant brown carpet, which I was perfectly OK with. I watched with amazement as the other neighbors watered theirs to keep them green and plush. I took a more Darwinian approach, since I've always felt the idea of a manicured lawn was unnatural, and this browning was just nature running it's course. Besides this, it meant the lawn guy made fewer visits and charged me less.

    And to insure the further degradation of the condition of the lawn I've got the dog, who has been systematically seeking out the remaining green patches and dropping the urine bomb to brown out the rest of the landscape. Then as a special bonus, she does this whole "paw wiping" routine where she kicks her back paws repeatedly to clean them off, which creates these giant divots, since the dry turf just flies through the air when she does her dance. And I'm lucky enough to have some other creature of creatures creating additional divots in the spots the dog hasn't gotten to yet. I can't wait till spring, so I can see some green again, although the idea of fake grass is sounding pretty good right about now.

    And speaking of the dog a funny story that will probably get me in trouble. We were hanging out and the wife was talking to the dog, but happened to call her the wrong name; she used the name of one of her friends. While she was in shock and horror trying to figure out how this happened when I offered up my own explanation. It's easy to get them confused, since both are blond, a little overweight, loud, high-maintenance, and bark a lot. The wife was NOT amused. The dog didn't seem offended.
    || JM, 8:41 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 08, 2006

    Get Over It!

    Because EVERYONE has SOMETHING to get over!
    Another holiday that seems much better than all those Hallmark holidays that everybody goes crazy for that don't mean much of anything, "Get Over It Day" seems like a much better idea. Since everybody has some degree of disappointment, unhappiness and stress this holiday gives you a chance to put it all behind you, turn the corner, get stronger, and maybe even have some fun. Never forget: It could always suck worse!

    And before you know it, Steak & BJ Day will soon be here as well!
    || JM, 10:11 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Father Of The Year?

    Donald Trump Makes Inappropriate Comment About Daughter
    Why am I not surprised? Creeped out, yes but surprised, no. The Donald recently confessed that he would date Ivanka if she weren't his daughter. He claims it was just a joke. Now I'm one who usually never hesitates making a joke at my own expense, and I have very few limits on what to joke about, and even I have a problem with this. Dude, it's your daughter. Simply put: not funny!

    I'm still confused every time they run the commercial at the end of The Apprentice when he is inviting contestants to try out for the next season where the shows will be filmed in California. It seems like we are seeing Daryl Hammond doing an impression of Trump, and then I realize it's the real deal.
    || JM, 10:09 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."
    Woody Allen
    || JM, 10:08 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Caught Red Handed?

    The Toque: Top Excuses When Caught Looking At Porn
    Having been a boy scout, I can tell you that their motto "be prepared" can sometimes be good words to live by. Here are a few excuses in the event that you get caught on an "adult" site:
  • I was thinking of getting pierced down "there" and was just doing some research.
  • I was actually trying to find Armand know, from high school.
  • I was just investigating adult content so I would recognize what was NOT appropriate for the workplace.
  • I was just proving to myself that I wasn't gay.
  • I thought the link to Serving Up Hot Girl On Girl Action was a Women's Tennis site.
  • I needed to sample a fleshtone color for my Photoshop palette.
  • It's a naturalist greeting card from my cousin, uhh, Inga...from Sweden.
  • I'm just studying these purely scientific pictures for my Anatomy exam tomorrow.
  • || JM, 10:07 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Hot Topics

    Statshot via The Onion
    || JM, 10:05 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, March 07, 2006

    Play It Again?

    "I'm shocked, shocked to find that steroid use is going on in here!"

    Who knew?
    || JM, 11:04 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Oink, Oink

    Draw a Pig Personality Test (VIA Metafilter)
    First, you draw a pig, and you answer questions based on your drawing. Then sit back and find out what it says about you. It tells me that I'm a realist, direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions. Also I'm emotional, naive, insecure, a good listener, and care little for details. Hardly scientific (or accurate for that matter) but a fun diversion all the same.
    || JM, 11:01 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election."
    Otto von Bismarck
    (I'll bet you thought this was from Dick Cheney perhaps?)
    || JM, 11:00 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    McSweeney's: Sample Emoticons for e-Kicking Someone in the e-Balls
    1. (x)(x)
    2. (#!#)
    3. *@@*
    4. >ofo<
    5. )gg(
    || JM, 10:59 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Always Low Standards--Always

    Thrall*Mart (VIA Robot Wisdom)
    Since I haven't picked on Wal-Mart for a bit, this parody site sure hits the spot. I was disappointed that I couldn't click on the links, though. Funny stuff, although I feel like I want to buy a trailer.
    || JM, 10:57 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 06, 2006

    Truisms: Timidity Is Laughable

    One of my favorite conceptual artists is Jenny Holzer. Her use of "moving words" which actually move usually proves quite thought provoking. She works in a variety of mediums, but you'll usually see her work as scrolling LED signs, or projected in a public place. I was lucky enough to see her show at the Guggenheim a few years ago. Trust me, this picture doesn't do it justice.

    So it was certainly good news to see that the soon to open 7 World Trade Center lobby will contain a piece of Jenny Holzer designed piece of art. This one will have poetry from various artists scrolling across translucent panels 14 feet high and 65 feet long. But if you plan on taking the whole thing in, you better pack a lunch since it will take eight hours for it all to pass by.

    This almost didn't happen, since Larry Silverstein had other ideas, but thanks to the tenacity of the architect David Childs they were able to include Holzer in the plans for the public space art. Silverstein didn't want any of the "downer" type messages that artists do, and actually rejected some of the works she selected. But "Jenny-lite" is better than none at all.
    || JM, 9:19 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Executive Condition

    Presidential Diseases (VIA Linkfilter)
    From Washington's lack of teeth to Reagan's Alzheimer disease all the way up to Dubya's ailments. A surprisingly complete listing, although in the shrub's case doesn't mention his lack of vision, his deafness to good advise, or his foot-in-mouth disease.
    || JM, 9:17 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."
    Mark Twain
    || JM, 9:17 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Map Of Woe

    Shakespearean Insulter
    Looking for something more than the standard, garden variety insult? Consult the Bard for such gems such as:
  • Thou mangled guts-griping lout!
  • Thy food is such as hath been belch'd upon by infected lungs.
  • You, minion, are too saucy.
  • Thou surly rump-fed jolt-head!
  • || JM, 9:15 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Watch It!

    Video iPod AV
    Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...look out for the sharks. Gizmodo points us towards a video of the long rumored full size video iPod. Probably a fake, and I'm not sure how I'd feel about smearing my greasy fingers across the screen. And let's not even talk about scratches. Yet, I still want one!
    || JM, 9:13 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 05, 2006


    Orson Welles for Paul Masson California Champagne (VIA Eyebeam reBlog)
    This one was news to me, although I've heard the frozen pea commercial plenty of times in the past. Ironic, given the volume and depth of the body of his work that for many, what we remember about Orson Welles would be his commercials and their out-takes. It's kinda like that family portrait when Uncle George blinks as the picture is taken, and years after he's passed on, that's how he is remembered. Now there's an uplifting thought; after you are gone you'll be thought of (if at all) at your worst moment. Perhaps, in a bizarre way there is an inspirational message in this after-all.

    I, like Paul Masson will serve no links before their time...But it's time:
    Orson Welles: Frozen Peas Spot
    Disco Orson
    Citizen Brain
    Rosebud Frozen Peas
    Blotto Bros. Wine
    || JM, 10:01 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Baby Pictures

    Something Awful Photoshop Contest
    Trying to give new meaning to an old adage that Hollywood is full of babies, some excellent movie posters mashups with babies added. And speaking of Hollywood, yet another example of some outstanding work with another Worth1000 photoshop contest where the challenge was to combine two or more movies to make one much funnier movie. Too many good ones for me to pick just one favorite!
    || JM, 9:59 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "We will not walk in fear, one of another. We are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate and to defend causes which were for the moment unpopular. This is no time . . . to keep silent."
    Edward R. Murrow
    || JM, 9:58 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Gas It Up

    Old and Interesting Gas Stations (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)
    I've stumbled upon this site before, but that's only because I have an unnatural fascination with gas stations. Part of it is because I spent countless hours as a child drawing pictures of them, and then re-drawing them "remodeled" to my specifications. Needless to say, I was a strange child. The other part of this reflects the fact that most of these are fading away, being replaced by bland, sterile and uniform corporate dispensing facilities. I'm sure it's progress, but I'll pick character any day given a choice...increasingly those choices aren't there.
    || JM, 9:55 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link: