stats count

John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Presidential Debate Bingo

Print out a page for each person you'll be watching the Presidential Debate with. (You may wish to print out several pages if you plan on playing more than one round.) Be sure to refresh this page every time you print, as the squares are assigned randomly each time.

If President Bush or Senator Kerry say the phrase, bring up the topic, or do the action marked on a square, mark off that square. The first person to mark off an entire row (either horizontally, vertically, or diagonally) and shout BINGO wins. It's fun and edumacational!
|| JM, 9:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Fake Cowboy!

George W. Bush Ain't No Cowboy
"George W. Bush is a fake cowboy....But liberals from both coasts and Europeans who derisively call Bush a "cowboy" foolishly insult not Bush, but one of America's prime ennobling myths.....Our president is neither a knight nor a cowboy. He doesn't believe in taking care of the little guy, nor does he have the restraint or dignity of the cowboy."
|| JM, 9:30 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Cannibal Songs

When Irish Eyes Are Boiling
You're the One That I Want (To Eat for Dinner)
Johnny B. Goode-Tasting
|| JM, 9:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


TGIF Menu Prank
Very juvenile, but very funny! Alot of creative energy went into this prank, which is just one of many to be found at this site. Apparently, someone with too much time on their hands did a redisign of the TGIF menu and swapped it out for the real deal. The new items on the menu included: Buffalo wings with bleu cheese dressing and celery sticks. So delicious, you'll want to throw up and eat it again.....Sizzling NY Strip with Bleu Cheese: Notice how we call it a strip instead of a steak? After one bite, you'll be shoving five dollar bills into its G-String. And licking your fingers....Atkinz Soda: Iced Sparkling Beef Bouillon with Sesame Seed Oil and Tabasco? Sauce. Contains no animal blood*.
|| JM, 9:25 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop."
P. J. O'Rourke
|| JM, 9:23 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

New Toy

GWB Dog Toy
It's a great way to tell the political bent of your pooch. If they growl and chew President Bush, you can assume they're a Democrat. If they carry squeaky George from room to room and curl up with him at night, you'll know your furry friend is a Republican.
|| JM, 9:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

From The Voter Clarity Dept:

Bush Supporters Misread Many of His Foreign Policy Positions
Let's all act surprised: "As the nation prepares to watch the presidential candidates debate foreign policy issues, a new PIPA-Knowledge Networks poll finds that Americans who plan to vote for President Bush have many incorrect assumptions about his foreign policy positions. Kerry supporters, on the other hand, are largely accurate in their assessments."
|| JM, 9:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Mid-Apocalypse Reflection

Spin control is beginning way in advance of the debates. Both candidates are working hard to lower expectations. I just heard one of the TV pundants describe Bush as a persuasive debater, even if he doesn't have all the facts. Hell...if I'm not bound by the facts, I'm pretty sure that I could beat any challenger myself. Bush has proven successful at repeating the same lies, half-truths , and sound bites, again and again. This constant repetition results in people accepting what they hear as the truth. Perception is far more important than reality, since any objective review of Bush's performance in office would result in the conclusion that he has delivered results much different than those he promised. Yet, the vast majority of voters seem willing to ignore the evidence and buy the spin. Bush has become the "tosser" in a high stakes game of "three card monte", where the American people are gullible victims. He keeps shuffling the "9-11" and "making us safer" cards so that far too many are fooled into thinking that this is a fair game. But just like in the real game of three card monte, don't trust the dealer!
|| JM, 11:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Debate Update

AL GORE: How to Debate George Bush
Some thoughtfull insights from one who knows:
"While George Bush's campaign has made "lowering expectations" into a high art form, the record is clear - he's a skilled debater who uses the format to his advantage..... if anyone truly has "low expectations" for an incumbent president, that in itself is an issue.

The debates aren't a time for rhetorical tricks. It's a time for an honest contest of ideas. Mr. Bush's unwillingness to admit any mistakes may score him style points. But it makes hiring him for four more years too dangerous a risk. Stubbornness is not strength; and Mr. Kerry must show voters that there is a distinction between the two......The biggest single difference between the debates this year and four years ago is that President Bush cannot simply make promises. He has a record."

And another way to approach the debates, The Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game. Why not grab a beverage and make the best of a bad situation?

- Every time President Bush says the word "safer," take a drink. If he uses the word "democracy" in the same sentence, make it a double.
- For every John Kerry reference to the UN, have a drink.
- If Bush uses the phrase "compassionate conservative," you must chug your entire beverage.
- Take one drink for every three times Kerry points with his left hand.
- Any previously recorded Bushism, like "misunderestimate" or "subliminable," used by the president during the debate requires one drink.
- If Kerry exceeds the time limit for any response, take a drink.
- Back-to-back offenses require a double shot and a NoDoz.
A reference by your candidate to any of the following requires one drink:
1) Florida
2) North Korea
3) Axis of evil
4) Saddam Hussein
5) The American people
- And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word "Vietnam," everybody has to take a drink.

In this game, everyone's a winner. At worst, you'll reach the end of the debate experiencing a warm, pleasant buzz. But if you're really lucky, you'll pass out by 10 o'clock and won't have to listen to the closing statements. Cheers!
|| JM, 9:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television."
David Letterman
|| JM, 9:52 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

What Would Bill Say?

Name That Toon
Write your own caption!
"I'll show Junior and Cheney who the BIGGEST liar is here!"
"I'm not only good looking, but smart too! If you don't think so, SHUT
"The guy in the third row looks intelligent. I've got to get him out of here."
|| JM, 9:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Robot News
Continuing with two themes that I continue to bookmark and throw on the blog, this site manages to combine robots and politics!
|| JM, 9:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Swagger Vs. Substance

PAUL KRUGMAN: Swagger vs. Substance
Let's face it: whatever happens in Thursday's debate, cable news will proclaim President Bush the winner. This will reflect the political bias so evident during the party conventions. It will also reflect the undoubted fact that Mr. Bush does a pretty good Clint Eastwood imitation.....After all, during the the first 2000 debate, Mr. Bush told one whopper after another - about his budget plans, about his prescription drug proposal and more. The fact-checking in the next day's papers should have been devastating......The result of this emphasis on the candidates' acting skills rather than their substance was that after a few days, Mr. Bush's defeat in the debate had been spun into a victory.....on Thursday night there will be a temptation to revert to drama criticism - to emphasize how the candidates looked and acted, and push analysis of what they said, and whether it was true, to the inside pages. With so much at stake, the public deserves better.
|| JM, 9:49 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Digital Doggie

FROM ENGADGET: How To Upgrade Your Organic Dog
A bizarre glimpse into the not so distant future, where your dog has a cell phone, digital camera, webcam, translator and other goodies. Most of these are availale now, even though you might have to go to Japan to get them.
|| JM, 9:24 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think."
Horace Walpole
|| JM, 9:14 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Money, Money, Money

I was about to go on a rant about how ugly the new $50 bill is since the re-design. ( can't even call them greenbacks, anymore!) But then I discovered that there have been plenty of other ugly designs of the older $50 bills of the past
|| JM, 9:05 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, September 27, 2004

eBay Finds

"Want to be a real life movie producer? Want to take your love of movies to the next level? Want to see your name in the credits of a hilarious new comedy? It's easy! Yes, now you can become an Associate Producer on "DUMPED! The Musical" for the low low price of only $19.95! That's right, for the price of just 2 movie tickets you will get the coveted credit of Associate Producer. A credit that will exist for eternity."

And if your aspirations are a bit more modest, and you happen to be a fan of The Who, perhaps this collection of Who memorabilia might be more to your liking. I'm a bit short on the funds to place a bid however; " Starting bid: US $5,000,000.00"
|| JM, 7:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
Dorothy Parker
|| JM, 7:37 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Low Expectations

Bush benefits from low expectations; Press corps allows blatant distortions from re-election campaign
"A press corps that relentlessly nit-picked Al Gore in 2000 in search of “little lies” and exaggerations has given Bush wide latitude to make things up. I guess the incumbent benefits from the soft bigotry of low expectations.....Bush finds it easier to cast his opponent as a friend of dictatorship than to address whether his policies have worked. Kerry probably shouldn’t feel too bad. Bush also dismissed a bleak report from his own CIA on the Iraq situation by saying the analysts were “just guessing.” Don’t pay attention to what’s behind the curtain."
|| JM, 7:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Let's Get Annoying

Thousands of Ways To Annoy People
Based on my daily observations, this is a completely unnecessary list. But in the event you are creatively challenged and need suggestions, here you go:
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
|| JM, 9:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
Will Durant
|| JM, 9:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Political Blogging

Fear and Laptops on the Campaign Trail
A NY Times look into the world of the political bloggers and how they have changed the political culture.
|| JM, 9:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Daily Show News

No Joke: Daily Show Viewers Follow Presidential Race
Duh....this is news?

"Viewers of late-night comedy programs..... are more likely to know the issue positions and backgrounds of presidential candidates than people who do not watch late-night comedy, the University of Pennsylvania’s National Annenberg Election Survey shows."

This just in....."Compassionate Conservatives" are neither compassionate or conservative."

And a nice interview with Jon Stewart.

" many campaigns do you remember where Hitler has come up a lot? If I were the Hitler people, I'd be raising a stink. I think he's gotta protect his legacy. He's gotta come out and go, Look, all right, you guys have your flaws but, hey, I was evil, baby!"
|| JM, 8:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


The Fine Art Of Male Circumcision
Dear God, NO! I've always maintained that there are many jobs best left to professionals, but none more than this!
|| JM, 8:08 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work."
Peter Drucker
|| JM, 8:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Take The Pledge

This is one way to increase voter turnout.....with differing levels of support...."I pledge to have sex with a voter on election night and withhold sex from non-voters for the week following the election....... I pledge to have sex with a voter on election night and withhold sex from non-voters for the next four years......Pledge-fulfilling sex must be consensual, legal, and generous. And safe. And hot."
|| JM, 8:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Right Track?

Iraq: Right Track?
Anybody else scratching their head and say "WTF?" when Bush said that Iraq was on the right track and optomistic about their future? Here's some background on the survey that he made reference to
|| JM, 8:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, September 24, 2004

What Are You Voting For?

What Are You Voting For?
A nice site if you are a fan of annotated comics; links to the supporting material included. In case this sample doesn't make it clear, a pretty hash indictment of the first Bush term; a nice summation of all that is wrong with our current "leadership". Everyday I find myself scratching my head, and asking "why?" when I see the numbers of those who still support this doofus.
|| JM, 7:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."
Jules de Gaultier
|| JM, 7:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Commercial Hall Of Shame

Commercials I Hate
My only regret is that this person did this site before I thought of it; but it's so well done I'll forgive them. I was impressed that they found the Lamisil commercial as disturbing as I did.
"The commercial features an evil animated foot fungus. He stands in front of a big toe, explaining that all he wants to do is to get into your nail bed. He then RIPS the TOENAIL OFF of the toe. I was in bed when I saw this. I screamed like a woman and clutched the covers right off the bed. Prying a toenail off of a big toe is NOT something nice people show on television."
|| JM, 7:50 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Better Off?

Re-Mixed Posters
More great propaganda posters, redone.
|| JM, 7:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it."
Russell Baker
|| JM, 7:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Dear Laura
I hate "bad" Powerpoint presentations (and don't MOST of them fall in this category?) This one is a bit different, but I'm guessing that Laura will soon share my hate of Powerpoint.
|| JM, 7:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

TV Time

My TV obsession haunts me again in many forms. First, I'm hit with The NY Times review of the season's premier of both CSI:NY and Law & Order. Boy, was I surprised to see that CSI is a man's show and L&O is for women! Up to this point, I had only been worried about how I was going to tape these two shows and watch another (Rescue Me) that have the bad luck to all be on at the same time. Now, in addition to dealing with logistical problems, I've got to come to terms with having feminine viewing tendencies...if this review is to be believed. I'll still watch L&O first.

We just signed up for Fetflix, and I put the DVD's of the first two seasons of Six Feet Under on my list, so I could catch up on the episodes that I missed. Despite my quest to see how many movies & DVD's that I can cram into one month's worth of membership, I ventured out to do so "real world" stuff today. One of my stops was at the hospital for an x-ray. It was a very strange coincidence that the guy who did the x-ray was virtually a clone of Arthur. I'm pretty sure I haven't lost my grip on reality, although there are those who might argue that point.
|| JM, 5:07 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saint Clinton

Saint Clinton
"Saint Clinton's image on these keepsake items will remind you of better times (about 4 years ago) when you had enough money to eat at a nice restaurant, get your car washed, or take a day off work."
|| JM, 10:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"
Harry Shearer
|| JM, 10:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

More Cards

For all your wierd collectable needs, you may want to try these on for size: The everpopular BushBall Cards or the classic Infectious Disease Cards.
|| JM, 10:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Things NOT To Say At Work

Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't
I know this is an old chestnut that most of us got as an e-mail many years ago, but they are still funny:
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth

|| JM, 10:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Test Your Knowledge

Prescription Drug or Transformer?
Assuming that you're not overly medicated, this quiz is tougher than you might think!
|| JM, 10:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


How does Ali G keep conning famous guests?
This show is definitely an acquired taste; at first I didn't like it but kept watching (too lazy to hit the pathetic is that?). I find the celebrity interviews and the Borat pieces hilarious! This article speculates that we will see more Borat pieces in the future...not a bad thing at all...but how can you top "Throw The Jew Down The Well"?
|| JM, 10:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

That's Not A Good Idea, Dave

Hal 9000
More eBay finds, with this one slightly more legitimate than the last one I posted. Unfortunately, the starting bid of $150,000.00 is a bit too rich for my blood.
|| JM, 10:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children."
Bill Watterson
|| JM, 9:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Today's Election Reflection

October Suprise?
Gentlemen, place your bets here on which "October Suprise" might occur. So far, $12 is in the pot.

"The nation has gone through a big sort, a sifting of people and politics into what is becoming two Americas. One is urban and Democratic, the other Republican, suburban and rural.....Urban rural, urban rural, urban rural: say it over and over. That's the big split in American politics, and as Bishop points out, the difference is becoming starker every year."

Framing Kerry vs. Bush
"Kerry isn't a flip-flopper. He simply adjusts his approach to a changing situation as it develops. Bush isn't decisive. He just stubbornly puts forward the same one-size-fits-all solution to every problem that comes his way. It's easy enough for a clever talker to paint flexibility as spinelessness and inflexibility as determination. But clever talkers have been selling us empty promises since man first learned to talk. Clever talk has never solved anything. The world is changing every day. Stubbornness is a liability we simply can't afford."

A strident minority: anti-Bush US troops in Iraq
"Inside dusty, barricaded camps around Iraq, groups of American troops in between missions are gathering around screens to view an unlikely choice from the US box office: "Fahrenheit 9-11," Michael Moore's controversial documentary attacking the commander-in-chief.....The film's prevalence is one sign of a discernible countercurrent among US troops in Iraq - those who blame President Bush for entangling them in what they see as a misguided war."
|| JM, 9:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, September 20, 2004

Beating 'Round The Bush

The Database of George Bush Accomplishments
The Database of George Bush Accomplishments contains each and every positive thing that George Bush has accomplished during his four years as President of the United States. Be prepared to be impressed!

A Tour of the George W. Bush Presidential Library
Be sure to visit the gift shop, where you can purchase absolutely nothing related to the years 1965 through 1978.

The W Deck
The W Deck is a collectible deck of cards that features classic vintage pinups, photographs, and pulp magazine covers -- And each one contains the face of President Bush. Through the magic of digital imagery, George Bush has been artfully blended into the illustrations.
|| JM, 10:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Another eBay Find!

eBay: Eminem Used Condom WRAPPER
Just to break up the political posts, an interesting eBay auction. As always; I'm too late to get in on the I would really like to do that? Almost as much fun as this eBay trend.
|| JM, 10:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
Groucho Marx
|| JM, 9:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Today's Election Reflection

Election Matters Eclipsed
"The presidential pageant has now risen full in the sky and is blocking out the sun. Until November, we dwell in a weird half-light, stumbling into spooky shadows but shielded from the harsh glare of the nation's actual circumstances. Down is up, fiction is truth, momentous realities are made to disappear from the public mind. The 2004 spectacle is not the first to mislead grossly and exploit emotional weaknesses in the national character. But this time the consequences will be especially grim.

The United States is "losing" in Iraq...Careful readers of the leading newspapers may know this, but I doubt most voters do.....So this presidential contest resembles a grotesque, media-focused war in which two sides skirmish for the attention of ill-informed voters....public opinion has moved much faster against the war, but perhaps not fast enough. People naturally are reluctant to conclude that their country did the wrong thing, that young people died for a pointless cause....

FRANK RICH: This Time Bill O'Reilly Got It Right
"What much of the other news media have offered as an alternative has not been an alternative at all. At some point after 9/11, the news business jumped the shark and started relaying unchallenged administration propaganda -- though with less zeal and showbiz pizazz than Fox. The notorious March 2003 presidential news conference at which not a single probing question was asked by the entire White House press corps heralded the broader Foxification to come....the failure of the American news media to apply proper skepticism to the administration's stated rationale for war in Iraq is "one of the most serious institutional failures of the press" since our slide into Vietnam. .... the net effect was that the entire press came off as Fox Lite. The motive to parrot the administration line may not have been ideological, as it was at Fox, but since the misinformation was the same, news consumers can't be blamed for finding that a distinction without a difference."

Open Secret—Utter Failure
"Bush is touted as Mr. Super American and Kerry as unpatriotic malcontent. Call me crazy, but I’ve always kind of thought an American exercising his or her First Amendment right of free speech--as did Kerry before the Senate committee and in his tireless efforts to help Vietnam vets--is as basically American as it gets.

What, then, in my book, would be un-American? Funny you should ask, ‘cause I’ve kind of put a list together. Not that any of these things would ever happen, mind you, but I would think it un-American if an administration were to, say: attack a non-threatening country under false pretenses in a cynical bid to secure power and profits; ........ lie to Americans by telling them they would receive a phony “average” $1083 in tax savings and that the new tax cuts would help the “vast majority” of lower-income citizens when in fact the vast majority of the benefits would go to the wealthiest Americans; compile record deficits, the main contributing factor to which would be those very same tax cuts; undermine democracy by appointing a House majority leader to push through an incredibly sleazy mid-term redistricting in an unabashed grab for more congressional seats; direct the Environmental Protection Agency to falsely inform residents of an American city the size of, say, New York, that their air was safe to breathe within days after a devastating attack there; deliberately withhold cost information from Congress about legislation involving prescription drug benefits—maybe something to do with, oh, I don’t know, Medicare--until the law was passed by the barest of margins; fail to produce a coherent, intelligent US energy policy, thereby unforgivably hampering America’s national security by forcing us to continue licking the oil-soaked sandals of the Saudis and others of questionable ilk; uncover a CIA agent and then cover up the whole sordid episode; seek “legal” ways to engage in torture; choose religious doctrine over scientific research;.... and just generally treat the Constitution like one big sheet of Charmin. "

Portrait of George Bush in '72: Unanchored in Turbulent Time By SARA RIMER
"This year of inconsequence has grown increasingly consequential for President Bush because of persistent, unanswered questions about his National Guard service - why he failed to take his pilot's physical and whether he fulfilled his commitment to the Guard......"
Too bad all the scrutiny is now focused on "Rathergate" instead of what appears to be a pretty pathethic record of commitment and service.
|| JM, 8:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sunday, September 19, 2004

The Ownership Society

The Ownership Society: Social Security Poses Hurdles for President
We can only hope that this (& Bush II) never come to pass. Privatization as a panacea for all our woes hasn't worked out too well so far, and I see no reason to believe that it will do any better in the future. If anything, it only seems to increase the existing inequities and does nothing to address any of the underlying problems. In otherwords, the rich get richer; not that there is anything wrong with that, but let's not ignore the needs of all the other groups.
|| JM, 10:45 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Return Department, Please

This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I'd Like to Return It, Please.

The printer must have run out of black ink, because a bunch of it is in red.

At no point does it tell what the middle initial "H" in our Savior's name stands for.

It seems to only sort of implicate the Jews in the Crucifixion, and instead suggests by way of self-deprecating irony that humanity as a whole is to blame.

I could not find the part where Moses says, "You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you all to Hell!"
|| JM, 10:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Today's Robot News

Hacking the RoboSapien
Check this out for links on how to hack your Robosapiens and make him (her?) fully autonomous. Just replace it's head with a Pocket PC, download the API, and brush-up on your Visual C++, and you are on your way! For the less ambitious, you can replace the remote with your Palm/Clie if you just download this. Other cool Robosapiens links and resources available here
|| JM, 10:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


iPatch Store
For All Your Pirate Shopping Needs!
|| JM, 9:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world."
Al Franken
|| JM, 9:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Talk Like A Pirate Day
Many credit Dave Barry with starting this, even though these guys are the ones who started the ball rolling. I think this is a great idea, even if I can't find anyone else who shares my enthusiasm for it. In the event you plan to celebrate, you will need to get your pirate name,; if you don't like the results, try again, mate. And in the event that it's Pirate humor that you crave this site is for you. I just love getting to use the phrases "ARRRRR" and "wenches" in daily conversation. We had to go to a conference not too long ago at work which required us to pick a theme and dress up in outfits that matched the theme, and I tried to sell the pirate idea....everybody looked at me like I had two heads.
|| JM, 8:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saturday, September 18, 2004

More Divisions

From Here To Maternity
Some interesting reflections on our divided society, and what it portends for the future. Bush supporters=breeders and Kerry supporters are less fertile. As the comedian Dick Cavett remarked, "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
|| JM, 11:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

An Offer You Can't Refuse!

Godfather Horsehead Pillow
"A custom severed horse head pillow that is actually quite comfortable to sleep on, albeit a tad on the south side of morbid. A great conversation piece for the film buff who has everything and whose wife won't let them own a revolver. Fans of the Godfather can now unite and sleep comfortably, if not uneasily."

And if you don't find that pillow to your liking; try this one on for size. Tons of great movie related props that are sure to spice up your Halloween costume planning here.
|| JM, 10:50 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them."
Caron de Beaumarchais
|| JM, 10:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

More Robots!

ArtBots: The Robot Talent Show
Since I haven't posted any robot links recently, here's one to keep the theme going. Still have today and tomorrow to attend and it's free!
|| JM, 10:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

They're 'A Commin'

GOP Mailing Warns Liberals Will Ban Bibles
Republican hate-mongering at work here. Not surprizing that this took place in West Virginia; insert hillbilly cliche here. This is just a foreshadowing of the dirty stuff that we will see more and more of as we approach election day!
|| JM, 10:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, September 17, 2004

Digital Doggie?

The Wonderful Shot: digital camera for dogs
A 3.5 megapixel camera that allows you to see what your dog sees. Like we don't buy the dog enough crap already? I can live with the "doggie clothing" (reluctantly), but when the dog gets gadgets and toys that rival mine, I think that's where I have to draw the line! The really disappointing thing about this is that it uses a remote control, and even though I'm a remote junkie, why can't they just let the dog shoot whatever pictures they want to take?

And in case you really want to give you dog every available gadget, this doggie cellphone might just be what you are looking for. "By clipping the phone to your dog or cat's collar, owners will be able to dial their furry friend's personal cell number. The call is automatically answered, and you can speak at will to your pet - though there's no guarantee they'll reply."
|| JM, 10:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tiger Tales

NBC apologizes for exploiting Siegfried & Roy by ... exploiting Siegfried & Roy.
"He's been horribly mauled! Let's make a show about it!"
Conan O'Brien
"Siegfried & Roy: The Miracle combines the worst elements of several unpleasant television genres: the medical voyeurism of surgery shows like Extreme Makeover and Nip/Tuck; the gruesome ambulance-chasing of Fox's World's Most Dangerous Stunts; and the schmaltzy inspiration of Dateline-style tributes to the human spirit." So I'm sure that it will be a ratings grabber!
|| JM, 10:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss
|| JM, 9:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Family: The Short Version

SLATE: A Guide To Kitty Kelley's The Family
I've tried to ignore this one, since Kitty Kelley has such a sleazy reputation. But much like the accident that everybody has to slow down to take a look at, the juicy details that are dished out in this book are tough to avoid. Thanks to Bryan Curtis of Slate, this "Cliff Notes" version that cuts to the chase:

Page 253: At Andover, George W. Bush writes a morose essay about his sister's death. Searching for a synonym for "tears," he consults a thesaurus and writes, "And the lacerates ran down my cheeks." A teacher labels the paper "disgraceful."

Page 309: At Harvard Business School, which W. attends from 1973 to 1975, a professor screens The Grapes of Wrath. Bush asks him, "Why are you going to show us that Commie movie?" W.'s take on the film: "Look. People are poor because they are lazy.".......and much, much more!
|| JM, 9:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

A Nickel For Your Thoughts

The New Nickels
Ok, this really sucks. First, they take Thomas Jefferson and give him a Botox makover and spin him around and make him face to the right (given the current administration, is this un-intended irony?) And as if that isn't insulting enough, let's put the buffalo back on the nickel, but this time, let's give him a penis!
|| JM, 9:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Calling All Pretty White Girls

Winning Friends and Influencing People
Here's a blogger's take on my favorite right-wingnut Ann Coulter, who apparently finds Bill O'Reilly too liberal!
|| JM, 9:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Freeway Blogger
A cool site from somone who posts signs on the freeway, and encourages others to do the same. Plenty of other examples there as well.

"When you handpaint a sign and post it in public it says two things:
1) whatever-the-hell you want it to say, and 2) that somebody cared enough about whatever-the-hell-they-wanted-to-say to actually paint a sign and put it where people could see it. If everybody who read this post put a sign on the freeway tomorrow, millions of Americans would see it. If everybody who read this post put ten signs on the freeway tomorrow, it could very well change the face of politics."

If you're inclined to do this yourself, try these:
I miss peace and prosperity.
In your guts you know he's nuts.
No surplus left behind.
Name one thing he's done right.
Who's gonna pay for this? Ask your kids.
|| JM, 9:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

“Apprentice” Car Update

Mattel: 'Apprentice' toy car is hired
If you saw last weeks' Apprentice, you might be interested to see that they are bringing the winning toy from that episode to market soon! The name is changed and the styling is tweaked, but you should be able to buy one early next year! I'm firing up the VCR for tonight's show, looks like it should be interesting.
|| JM, 8:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."
Thomas A. Edison
|| JM, 8:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Driving Dog

Bad dog! Bad driving!
"A pedestrian in a Whitehorse suburb was taken aback Tuesday night when a dog drove by in a red pickup truck. Police say a person was out for a walk when the truck with a black Labrador at the wheel passed by."

This is why I always keep the car keys out of the reach of our dog!
|| JM, 8:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

The "W" Links Of The Day

Why Bush Left Texas

"Growing evidence suggests that George W. Bush abruptly left his Texas Air National Guard unit in 1972 for substantive reasons pertaining to his inability to continue piloting a fighter jet. If it is demonstrated that profound behavioral problems marred Bush's wartime performance and even cut short his service, it could seriously challenge Bush's essential appeal as a military steward and guardian of societal values. It could also explain the incomplete, contradictory and shifting explanations provided by the Bush camp for the President's striking invisibility from the military during the final two years of his six-year military obligation. And it would explain the savagery and rapidity of the attack on the CBS documents."

Mr. Bush's Glass House By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
"Bush's paramount problem with his National Guard years is not that he took shortcuts in 1972. The problem is that he still refuses to come clean about it.....Mr. Bush's own route to avoid the draft underscores the disparities in America, yet his policies seem based on a kind of social Darwinism in which the successful make their own opportunities....What worries me more is the lack of honesty today about that past - and the way Mr. Bush is hurling stones without the self-awareness to realize that he's living in a glass house."
|| JM, 8:02 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Bill Cosby
|| JM, 7:59 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Strange Records

Another site for when I need to feel better about my own weirdness is this one. Among the records set are: HAIRIEST FAMILY, LONGEST TIME WITH A NAIL IN THE HEAD, LONGEST MAGGOT BATH, & MOST FEET SNIFFED! I can't imagine how strong your need to be noticed would be for you to try to achieve this kind of notoriety. Personally, I'm sometimes happiest when I'm ignored.
|| JM, 7:58 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

WOW Factor?

Eye Catching eBay Auction
A great way to get people to look at your eBay auctions; I thought this technique was used mostly to sell cars and beer, but heck if it works, why not? I wonder if the wife will let me hire a model so I can sell stuff?
|| JM, 7:51 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

A Bad Sign :(

'Slutwear' Is So Last Year on New York Runways
Oh man, my day sucked badly, and now this! Sometimes life is so unfair.
|| JM, 7:50 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Nice Hat!

SexToy Testers
Gee, I finally thought I had found the dream job that I was looking for. It seemed so right; until I was filling out the application and got to the part "You must live in the UK ."

The picture of this product seems familiar; seems way too much like the hat we saw at the Republican convention!
|| JM, 8:46 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Big Meal

Oh yea; this is disturbing. I just saw a commercial for the "Double Croissan'wich" at BK. Two kinds of meat; like they don't pack enough calories in the regular sandwich. Equally disturbing was the image of the guy rolling around in bed with the "Burger King"; that's not meant to be homophobic but rather a comment on the weirdness of the guy in the plastic mask. This commercial might have made more sense if they had been featuring one of those 400+lb individuals who never leave the couch.
|| JM, 8:24 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Big Stuff

Women With Big Hands
I'm so glad to see that there are those with really strange fetishes out there. This site celebrates Women with Big Hands and the men who love them, I guess. Knowing that there are others who are stranger than me in some perverse way makes me feel better about myself. And most days I need whatever ego boost I can get. I'll start to worry when I start wishing for bad things to happen to others, or when I develop a really strange fetish myself. I'll be sure to post that news here.
|| JM, 7:55 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
|| JM, 7:47 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Myth Vs. Reality

PAUL KRUGMAN: Taking On the Myth
"Many voters still believe that Mr. Bush is doing a good job protecting America.....Mr. Kerry should counterattack by saying that Mr. Bush is endangering the nation by subordinating national security to politics.....Some pundits are demanding that Mr. Kerry produce a specific plan for Iraq - a demand they never make of Mr. Bush. Mr. Kerry should turn the tables, and demand to know what - aside from pretending that things are going fine - Mr. Bush intends to do about the spiraling disaster. And Mr. Kerry can ask why anyone should trust a leader who refuses to replace the people who created that disaster because he thinks it's bad politics to admit a mistake....Mr. Bush, by politicizing the "war on terror," is putting America at risk."
|| JM, 7:46 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, September 13, 2004

There Once Was A Man From Nantucket

FROM: The Liberal Limericker
In the event you want to combine political commentary and limericks, this is the site for you!

President Bush is a coward and a liar
How does he walk when his pants are on fire?
Is that why there's a swagger?
Or is he just a bragger?
I know. I know. I'm preaching to the choir.

I'm distraught that this isn't more newsy
For to the Limericker it's really a doozy
Tomorrow I can go
To my neighborhood Costco
And there I can buy an Uzi
|| JM, 8:52 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

SFU reviewed

In a Creepy World, Just Who Is Insane and Who Isn't?
You really have to hate when they throw spoilers at you without warning. If so, don't look at this link! An interesting review of the season finale of "Six Feet Under". Not surprisingly, it contains accusations of jumping the shark (maybe), too many corpses (what did you expect?), and being anti-gay (what did I miss?). If I hadn't already seen last night's episode, I'd be really steamed that she reveals so much of the plot of the episode. And she really had me scratching my head when she talks about David and Jake having sex; how did I miss that revelation? I was very surprised that they tied up as many things as they did, but I never considered the option that Nate dreamed the confrontation with the brother-in-law as this columnist suggests. My prediction of George buying the farm in the bomb shelter didn't come to least yet! Such a relief that they didn't feel the need to end it with a cliff hanger, although that almost has me worried that they tied up too many ends, as if this could be a series finale.
|| JM, 8:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown
|| JM, 8:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

When's Lunch?

I knew he didn't have a heart, but I didn't expect this evidence!
|| JM, 7:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Stand Back...

Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry
George Washington Memorial Hospital is struggling to deal with an influx of Republicans with concussions, broken bones, and internal injuries suffered during the recent stampede to discredit Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, emergency-room personnel reported Monday.....paramedic Gerald Polder said he has not seen so many right-wing injuries since the late '90s, when hundreds of Republicans were hurt climbing on and off the Newt Gingrich bandwagon.
|| JM, 10:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Our Long National Nightmare...

Bush: "Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over"
I remember printing this out when it first appeared on The Onion's website back in January 2001 and passing it around the office. It seemed pretty funny then, but now that in retrospect it appears pretty prophetic, it doesn't seem nearly as funny.
|| JM, 10:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Do It Yourself?

Do it yourself ... How to make underwear
No, not a good idea. One of the many things better left to professionals. The label in the back of most of my wool pants warns me "professional dry clean only", yet I've seldom met anyone who lists "amateur dry cleaning" as an interest. And I am the only one who gets annoyed when I go to get my haircut when they ask me which number razor to use?? I don't recall my auto repair guy asking me what wrench to use when he fixes my car.
|| JM, 9:50 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy."
Nora Ephron
|| JM, 9:48 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

George Washington Is No War-Hero

George Washington is no war-hero
Friends and fellow countrymen, it's time to set the record straight. "General" George Washington is no war-hero. The Rowboat Vets for Truth will counter the outrageous claims made by Mr. Washington and the liberal printing presses in Boston and Philadelphia. It's time to set the record straight.
|| JM, 9:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Looking Back...Looking Forward

It's almost impossible not recall where you were and what you were doing on that fateful day not so long ago. In some ways it seems as it was only yesterday, and yet other times if feels like it was longer than the three years that it was. The passage of time makes does not make it any less painful to recall. Other topics become trivial.

A Nation Challenged: Remembering Sept. 11, 2001

The September 11 Digital Archive

9/11 to be remembered with silence, bells

Bill Moyers: Asleep at the wheel

Why we need to get over 9-11 and the culture of fear it has generated
|| JM, 8:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.
Benjamin Disraeli
|| JM, 8:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, September 10, 2004

Another Top 10 List

FROM: Bloggers United Against Bush
Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints About 'Fahrenheit 9/11'
10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing
9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election
8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words
7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported
6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger
5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true
4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe
3. Where the hell was Spider-man?
2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth
1. I thought this was supposed to be about Dodgeball
|| JM, 11:13 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Hills Are Alive...

The Von Trapp Children Speak to a Geneticist
FRIEDRICH: Yes, Liesl is hot. Sometimes, even I have feelings for her. Why is it bad for me to feel that way?

GENETICIST: Incestuous relationships, as well as being frowned upon by most of society, are also disadvantageous from a biological point of view. In the genetic world, diversity breeds fitness. ......Do you not see that the net effect of this is that you would create offspring with a limited repertoire of immune-system genes?.....Also, dude, she's your sister.
|| JM, 10:19 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
Andy Warhol
|| JM, 9:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

More Fun With Uncle Dick

The Curse of Dick Cheney
Let's hope this curse continues....."Should George W. Bush win this election, it will give him the distinction of being the first occupant of the White House to have survived naming Dick Cheney to a post in his administration.....The ever-canny Ronald Reagan was the only Republican president since Eisenhower who managed to serve two full terms. He is also the only one not to have appointed Dick Cheney to office."

"This pattern of misplaced confidence in Cheney, followed by disastrous results, runs throughout his life -- from his days as a dropout at Yale to the geopolitical chaos he has helped create in Baghdad. Once you get to know his history, the cycle becomes clear: First, Cheney impresses someone rich or powerful, who causes unearned wealth and power to be conferred on him. Then, when things go wrong, he blames others and moves on to a new situation even more advantageous to himself."

And and even better piece on Cheney from the NY Times. "For a time, it seemed that Americans were realizing they'd been flimflammed by the Bushies. But at the convention, the swaggering Bush juggernaut brazenly went back to boasting about its pre-emption doctrine, tracing imaginary connections between 9/11 and Saddam, and calling all our foes terrorists."
|| JM, 9:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Shrub Sings

Sunday Bloody Sunday
From the soon to be released "W's Greatest Hits".
|| JM, 8:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Bush's Message To Urban Youth

Boondocks: Bush's message to urban youth
"I'm George W. Bush, and I approve of this message!"
|| JM, 11:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


I almost forgot to set-up the satisfy my other TV jones. That gives me a break from the blogging addiction. I realized that I was addicted yesterday, when the blogger server was down and I couldn't post. Not that I had anything to say, but it was knowing that I couldn't that gave me a feeling of unease.

I need to tape 2nite's Apprentice, and while I'm at it I might as well throw in "Joey" even though I'm prepared for it to suck. But since The Daily Show is in repeats this week, I might as well watch it. I wasn't into last years Apprentice at the start, but it was the buzz that I heard which quickly got me to look at it and it became a "must see" as soon a I started watching. Sorry to see that they seem to have cast this seasons' Omarosa as a black woman. I realize that they are going for a formula, but do they have to try to duplicate last years stereotypes?? Looks like this year's Sam is the twerp with the bow tie.

I'm usually reluctant to add another show into my viewing schedule. This was again the case with my current favorite "Rescue Me" on FX. This is the best show on "regular TV" (broadcast/network/basic cable) since Homicide. I'd rank it right up there with my HBO favorites (Deadwood, Six Feet Under, & The Soprano's). Few shows hit the mark like this, combining serious drama and humor the way that they do. Last nights' episode went from a touching tribute to the fallen 911 heros right into a (trust me on this) hilarious dick measuring contest. If you haven't seen it, you should be able to catch the 20 times that FX repeats it.
|| JM, 11:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

A Fun Game

Homeland Security Simon
Stay Calm While The Pressure Rises! (You might want to turn down your sound if @ work!)
|| JM, 9:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Fictional American Presidents

Fictional American Presidents
A nice relief from the real one.
|| JM, 9:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
|| JM, 9:30 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Good Dog

FROM CNN: Pup shoots man, saves litter mates

I'm not really surprised by this, glad to see the dog standing up for it's kin!
|| JM, 9:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Undesirable Lunchboxes

Undesirable Lunchboxes
Some great Photoshopped lunchboxes at Good taste not included!
|| JM, 4:07 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

It's Debatable

Bush Likely to Bow Out of 1 Debate
President Bush may skip one of the three debates that have been proposed by the Commission on Presidential Debates and accepted by Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.), Republican officials said yesterday. The officials said Bush's negotiating team plans to resist the middle debate, which was to be Oct. 8 in a town meeting format in the crucial state of Missouri.

Typical bully behavior; act tough, just pick the fights that you can win (see: North Korea). Apparently, the Commission on Presidential Debates won't force the audience to sign GOP loyalty oaths.
|| JM, 3:53 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."
Chinese Proverb
|| JM, 3:51 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Democracy In Action

American casualties are mounting daily in Iraq, Afghanistan is close to melting down, and the 9/11 Commission has proposed a total revamp of our intelligence infrastructure. So what do Republicans have in mind for the upcoming legislative session? The Republican leadership would bring bills to the floor "for the sole purpose of embarrassing or flushing out the Democrats on emotive or wedge issues. Between now and election day, the action on Capitol Hill will be more symbolic than substantive." We're going to get floor fights over same-sex marriage and the Pledge of Allegiance, and the New York Times reports that abortion, tort reform, and flag burning are on the agenda too. And apparently, we are going to turn our back on renewing the ban on assault weapons as well!
|| JM, 9:02 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

Fox News Update

Fox News Decides Not To Report About Democrats
“We just got tired of being called ‘slanted’ and ‘unfair’ by the liberal media elite,” said FOX News president Roger Ailes in an interview with the liberal media elite. “So from now on we simply won’t mention Democrats at all.
|| JM, 8:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Dire Warnings

Cheney Warns Against Vote for Kerry
Vice President Dick Cheney said Tuesday that the nation faces the threat of another terrorist attack if voters make the "wrong choice" on Election Day.... A real class act; but you can't expect them to fight fair now, can you?
|| JM, 8:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Who's on First?

Hu's on First
Abbott and Costello meet George W. and Condi:
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
|| JM, 11:11 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

A Mythic Reality

from The New York Times: A Mythic Reality By PAUL KRUGMAN
The self-proclaimed 'war president' isn't an effective war leader -- he only plays one on TV. Mr. Bush spared no effort preparing for his carrier landing - he even received underwater survival training in the White House pool - he didn't prepare for things that actually mattered, like securing and rebuilding Iraq after Baghdad fell.
|| JM, 9:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Things Will Improve So Much You'll Forget I'm President Official Re-selection Site
"And so in just eight short weeks, America will face a choice: my opponent John Kerry, who speaks French and eats aborted fetuses for breakfast – or me, who talks regular and isn't some fussy little priss who needs to wash his hands every time he takes a whizz."
|| JM, 8:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Cheerleaders for Truth

Cheerleaders for Truth
"Did George Bush actually win a Varsity letter in Cheerleading at Yale? Or was this another "no show" like the National Guard?" current and alumni Yale cheerleaders are asking. "Why haven't any member of Bush's Cheerleading Squad come forward and verified that he actually attended practice and the games?"
|| JM, 8:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth."
Lillian Hellman
|| JM, 8:39 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Movie Combinations You'll Never See

Movie Combinations You'll Never See
After "Alien Vs. Preditor", who knows.....but let's hope we never see:

"American Beauty and the Beast" - The beast quits his job and struggles with a mid-life crisis.

"American Pi" - a mathematician, obsessed with Pi, makes a pact with his fellow scientists to help each other finally get laid.

"The Joy Fight Club" - A group of Chinese-American women learn about love, laughter, and themselves when they start beating each other to a pulp in basements.

"Star Wars Episode I: Phantom Menace II Society" - Young Obi-Wan Kenobi and O-Dog find a young Tattoine ghetto hustler strong in the Force. Together confront the brutal reality of ghetto life in LA and fight an invading army of robots!

"Twelve Angry Men and a Baby" - A panel of jurors must decide the fate of a man, all while raising a baby none of them are prepared for! Starring Tom Selleck, Henry Fonda, and Steve Gutenburg.

"The Ghost and Mrs Doubtfire" - The ghost of an old sea captain enters a bittersweet romantic relationship with a man who rents his old home dressed as a woman.
|| JM, 8:37 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Case Against George W Bush

The Case Against George W Bush

America's credibility is shattered. The administrations credibility is shattered at home and can no longer be trusted in matters of national security in a time when the need for confidence in our leadership is at a premium.

We have seriously harmed our relations with the world community and squandered its good will toward us following September 11.

We have undercut the real war on terror by draining badly needed recourses and by harming world cooperation in the effort.

We have given our real terrorist enemies another rallying cry as well as a place for recruitment and possibly even training.

We've shown other rogue nations that the best way to deter an American invasion is to acquire nuclear weapons, as North Korea has done.

We are stuck in a military quagmire for the foreseeable future with no clear way out.

As of September 4, 2004, the war and occupation has cost the United States approximately $130,953,200,000. As of September 3, 2004, the U.S. death toll is approaching 1000. The Iraqi civilian death toll is estimated at a minimum of 11,793 and a maximum of 13,802.
|| JM, 8:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, September 06, 2004

Another Bushism

Video Of Bush's "OBGYN Love" Remarks
"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are gettin' out of business. Too many O-B-G-Y-N's aren't able to practice their...their love with women all across this country."
|| JM, 10:08 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Bush Gets Small Convention Bounce

GALLUP NEWS SERVICE: Bush Gets Small Convention Bounce
Here's some good news: the first national poll conducted entirely after the completion of that convention -- shows George W. Bush getting a small increase in voter support. Bush's share of the vote among likely voters increased two percentage points, from 50% to 52%.....Bush's two-point convention bounce is one of the smallest registered in Gallup polling history.....and the smallest an incumbent president has received.

Combine this with what appears to be a bit more focus coming out of the Kerry camp, a simplified message more keyed in on the economy, and an infusion of some Clinton campaign pros, and this might be more of a fair fight!
|| JM, 9:57 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Bad Conversions

Um, Mr. Gilstrap... I don't know how to tell you this... but there's a giant bucket of chicken attached to your sign!

I found this fascinating on so many levels., bills itself as "a chronicle of bad conversions and storefronts past." My preoccupation with old chains and commercial structures that have passed on, my interest in design in general, a childhood obsession with drawing renderings of buildings modified to my liking (a brief phase when I though I might be an architect), and this site's bizarre sense of humor all combine to insure that I'd be drawn to this site.
|| JM, 10:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
Don Marquis
|| JM, 10:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tentacles of Rage

The Republican propaganda mill, a brief history
My political obsession rears it's ugly head again....but an interesting article about the conservative think tanks' propaganda machine, and it's acceptance into mainstream thought.
|| JM, 10:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

4 More Years?...What We Can Expect in Bush II

MORE WARS?....During a private Aug. 19 conference call with Capitol Hill aides from both parties, sources say, senior Pentagon policy official William Luti said there are at least five or six foreign countries with traits that "no responsible leader can allow."

....A Pentagon spokesman declined to release a transcript of the call, saying Luti was stating "well-established official policy," not advocating pre-emptive strikes. The U.S., he added, has many other policy options at its disposal. They would presumably include measures like supporting opposition groups in suspect states, Time reports.

Anyone who thinks they won't find excuses for further military action in a second term just isn't paying attention. A vote for Bush is a vote for more wars, and with this crew in charge it's unlikely they'll turn out any better than Iraq has.
|| JM, 10:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Some Good News From Florida

The Coppertone Girl
An interesting article about the first girl that most of us got to see bare assed. Mom's a bit feisty, daughter is a bit shy, and please don't ask to see her tan lines. And while I'm waxing nostalgic about classic American advertising, isn't it about time to bring back Burma Shave advertising in some form? It shouldn't surprise me that most people don't remember these....I barely do.....but they used to be one of the highlights for me of going on summer vacation as a child!
|| JM, 9:23 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance."
Ray Bradbury
|| JM, 9:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

MILF Reality Check

MILF Reality Check
A funny site that challanges network TV's casting formula where Loser Comic + Young Hot Chick = Concept.
|| JM, 9:21 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Star Trek: The Lost Episode

Star Trek: The Lost Episode
I hate doing 2 Star Trek posts in one week, since it suggests that I'm more of a geek than I really am, but I found this too funny to ignore. Juvenile, yes but still funny.
|| JM, 9:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Are You An Idiot?

Are You An Idiot?
A simple test....enough said.
|| JM, 9:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Why Bush "Could" Win

Trust me; it pains me to accept this as an outcome, but unless Kerry comes out swinging soon, the possibility that we could be subjected to another four years of "W" looms as an ugly possibility. Although the advantages of a post convention bounce "might" wear off, the fact that he experienced as much of an upward swing as he did is disturbing.

Many might think that Kerry can gain the upper hand in the upcoming debates, but those scare me more than the bounce we are seeing now. Given all of George's shortcomings, he has historically done very well debating the opponents he's faced in the past, just ask Al Gore and Ann Richards. Although he usually isn't as articulate as his opponents, he projects a Joe Sixpack kind of likeability. He comes across as the kind of guy you'd like to have over at your next barbecue.....nice for a summer afternoon but not great qualifications for the "leader of the freeworld".

This "likeable dumbass" charisma seems to play well to the masses. Non threateningly I guess...."hey, he's one of us." Most people will tolerate a dimwit, but they hate professorial eggheads, and Bush has proven himself successful at painting his opponents into this role. Maybe I'm selling the common man short, but most will lack the knowledge, the critical judgment, or the will to sort through the arguments and misrepresentations presented in the debates and will accept the "feel good" lies presented by President Sound Bite. Who doesn't like to hear that they are good looking and popular, even when they know that isn't the case?

The Bush camp will continue to link 9/11 and the war in Iraq like they did again at the RNC. Getting people stirred up and fearful leads to a suspension of rational thought (if indeed, that was going to take place at all) so that people will be be more likely to respond to the "rally 'round the flag" rhetoric. He will continue to sew seeds of doubt about Kerry's ability to lead and encourage fear of making a change during these trying times. Most people seem willing to forgive his lack of concern about terrorism before 9/11, and accept his post 9/11 response as a justification for everything he's done internationally and as a qualification for a 2nd term. His convention speech where he promises a crusade for liberty with God on our side sounds frighteningly like those radical elements that we are fighting against.

He'll keep pointing towards his plans for the future, since there is so very little in his performance of the last four years which reflects the promises he made in the last campaign. The claims of "Compassionate Conservative" will be bandied around again despite the fact that the number of Americans living in poverty increased by 1.3 million last year, while the ranks of the uninsured swelled by 1.4 million, according to the latest Census Bureau report. Approximately 35.8 million people lived below the poverty line in 2003, or about 12.5 percent of the population, according to the bureau. His compassion seems to work better if you are a large corporation or a rich white guy.

I hope I'm wrong, but we've shown our love of cowboys before (and I'm not talking Deadwood here). Who knew that someone could make Reagan look like a moderate? Time and time again, I hear people applaud Bush for being decisive, which seems to be his prime qualification for leadership. What ever happened to being right?

This little rant makes me feel better...but not much. Let's hope I feel better in November.
|| JM, 1:41 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

All We Are Saying Is Give Peas A Chance

Chris P. Carrot for President

"My fellow Americans, my name is Chris P. Carrot, and I want to be your next president. You may be asking yourself, "Why on Earth would I vote for a talking vegetable?" or "What can he do for me?" The plain and simple answer is: It will take a carrot to improve America's vision! Can other candidates honestly say, as I can, that they would gladly lay down their very lives to defend against free radicals?"

After the rhetoric of the last week, why not embrace this? Seems like he's not your garden variety candidate.
|| JM, 10:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.
Rudyard Kipling
|| JM, 10:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, September 03, 2004

A Breath Of Fresh Air

George Bush Dumbass Head On A String Car Freshener
You may want to order one of these to clear up any of that post convention stench. "Musky, powerful man-scent! Use it in the car, under the toilet seat, anywhere there are hard to reach odors that need Republican attention!"
|| JM, 9:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right."
H. L. Mencken
|| JM, 9:52 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

More eBay Silliness

Search Results for 'britney gum'
I caught this trend in today's paper, but I would have preferred missing this. I don't get the media and fan fascination with this chick who would have been trailer trash, had not fate dealt her the good fortune to be a mouseketeer. And while we are on the subject of annoying media darlings, just in case you need to know more about the Olsen twins, here's an update on Ashley's May/December relationship.
|| JM, 9:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Boyfriend Arm Pillow

Here's another cool item that we should carry at work! Sadly, these are only available abroad for now, but let's hope for a knockoff soon!
|| JM, 9:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Lies, Damned Lies, and Convention Speeches

From SLATE: Lies, Damned Lies, and Convention Speeches. Setting Kerry's record straight—again. By Fred Kaplan
"Half-truths and embellishments are one thing... Lies are another thing, and last night's Republican convention was soaked in them. The main falsehood... is the claim that John Kerry, during his 20 years in the Senate, voted to kill just about every weapon system that has kept our nation free and strong. Here is the truth of the matter: Kerry did not vote to kill these weapons, in part because none of these weapons ever came up for a vote, either on the Senate floor or in any of Kerry's committees. What makes this dishonesty not merely a lie, but a damned lie, is that back when Kerry cast these votes, Dick Cheney—who was the secretary of defense for George W. Bush's father—was truly slashing the military budget."

And who can forget Zell Miller's keynote address where he said "Today, at the same time young Americans are dying in the sands of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan, our nation is being torn apart and made weaker because of a Democrat's manic obsession to bring down our commander in chief." A "manic obsession to bring down our commander in chief"? Most people call this a "presidential election." Someone should tell Zell they happen every four years; he can look it up in that same place where he did the research on Kerry's voting record.
|| JM, 2:57 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Opposing Bush Becomes Unpatriotic

from SLATE:Opposing Bush Becomes Unpatriotic By William Saletan
The 2004 election is becoming a referendum on your right to hold the president accountable.... The case against President Bush is simple. He sold us his tax cuts as a boon for the economy, but more than three years later, he has driven the economy into the ground. He sold us a war in Iraq as a necessity to protect the United States against weapons of mass destruction, but after spending $200 billion and nearly 1,000 American lives, and after searching the country for more than a year, we've found no such weapons....

Tonight the Republicans had a chance to explain why they shouldn't be fired for these apparent screw-ups. Here's what Cheney said about the economic situation: "People are returning to work. Mortgage rates are low, and home ownership in this country is at an all-time high. The Bush tax cuts are working." But mortgage rates were low before Bush took office. Home ownership was already at an all-time high. And more than a million more people had jobs than have them today....

"A senator can be wrong for 20 years without consequence to the nation," said Cheney. "But a president always casts the deciding vote." What America needs in this time of peril, he argued, is "a president we can count on to get it right."

You can't make the case against Bush more plainly than that.
|| JM, 9:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Things To Hate About The Convention

1001 Things To Hate About The Convention

999. Rudy Giuliani caught backstage in Nosferatu pose, muttering, "Soon all this will be mine!"
969. Commuters screwed.
968. Local businesses screwed.
967. Massive numbers of foreigners watching just to find another reason to hate us.
935. White House advisor Matthew Dowd says for Bush not to mention 9/11 "would be like Roosevelt not talking about Pearl Harbor."
934. In fact, Roosevelt didn’t mention Pearl Harbor at the 1944 Democratic convention.
808. Abraham Lincoln not arisen from the dead to say, "Dude, where’s my party?"
646. Macy’s broadcasts Fox News on its Herald Square outdoor tv.
642. With Jeb Bush in New York, chance that Jeb Bush will be swept away by Hurricane Frances is reduced to almost zero.
592. 3000 WTC dead unable to protest Bush’s ineptitude or his subsequent stonewalling of 9/11 Commission.
|| JM, 9:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
Napoleon Bonaparte
|| JM, 9:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Unfortunate Name

I'm suprised that he got into real estate with a name like this!

|| JM, 9:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Insert Joke Here...

How nice of the Republicans to trot out the "compassion" thing once every four years. Actions speak louder than words, but apparently this administration doesn't feel that way. The ugliness of night one has been replaced by a warm and fuzzy party of inclusion, or at least they are showing that facade. I am baffled how the Log Cabin Republicans stay in the fold. But we are still seeing signs of anger peaking through the moderate trappings on display. Nonetheless I had expected a bit more of the "high road" than what I'm seeing. We can only hope the karma of negativity will haunt them in later days after the "convention bounce" wears off. I still fear far too many people don't really look at the issues, and will blindly accept the lies that continue to be passed off by the W team. Perhaps this Dick Cheney Extreme Makeover is just the thing that the Republicans need to present a kinder, gentler image.
|| JM, 8:54 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

With an attitude like that....

I love obscure sites that detail little know history, or delve into a subject in great depth that only a few people care about. Add to this my fascination with logos and design in general and this site was a natural to catch my attention. But the logo of this airline from Bangkok really made me laugh out loud. Ironically, it looks like they drive much the same way!
|| JM, 10:33 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Convention Update

Great quote from Steven Colbert on The Daily Show:
"To call this convention a little manipulative is like calling Marcel Marceau a little quiet."
|| JM, 9:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Reviews Are In

Even Conservatives Hated Them....
This is a bit harsh, but I can't disagree. "The verdict from the Fox News crew on Jenna, Barbara, and Laura is not good.....Their mother said they'll be pursuing their own careers. I would advise them to look in some field other than comedy.....looked as dumb as a bag of hammers.....Slacker children of a slacker father.....What were they thinking putting the daughters on? "Hi, we're spoiled rich kids who get into trouble and live off our rich parents while your child is getting their leg blown off in Iraq."
|| JM, 9:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Nice Guy? or the Devil's Spawn?

Nice Guy? or the Devil's Spawn?
I dislike Bush as much as the next guy (OK, maybe more) but this link might take the case too far. It would almost be funny, but I suspect the person is quite serious. Much information is presented supporting the contention that "Bush Is The Anti-Christ", but you can make up your own mind.

According to "Satanism In America" the Il Corduno or "horned hand" is a sign of recognition between practicing Satanists; it is a one-handed salute, and the palm of the hand faces outward. There are numerous times where Bush has been seen flashing this 'devil's salute'. Hook 'em George
|| JM, 8:48 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Classic Movies Revisited

Classic Movie Lines That, Without Proper Editing, Would Not Have Been So Classic.

"I made him an offer. And though it was difficult to refuse, he wanted to mull it over. You know, discuss it with his wife and whatnot. He said he'd get back to me next Tuesday."

"You may or may not be able to handle the truth, and thus my hesitation in answering your question. I don't really know you that well. I certainly don't want to be too presumptive here."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a flaming rat's ass."

"Are you looking at me? If so, why?"
|| JM, 8:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow."
Mark Twain
|| JM, 8:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Toughest Game On The Web

Etymologic:The Toughest Game On The Web

This one is even tougher than the Republican quiz! In this etymology game you'll be presented with 10 randomly selected etymology (word origin) or word definition puzzles to solve; in each case the word or phrase is highlighted in bold, and a number of possible answers will be presented. You need to choose the correct answer to score a point for that question.
|| JM, 8:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link: