stats count

John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Friday, July 29, 2005

Blinded By Science

The world's first self-chilling can is finally here! (VIA Digg)
Thank God scientists are finally tackling the really important problems! Suddenly the future looks very cool!
|| JM, 7:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Office Guns
In the event you want to translate that fantasy about hurting one of your coworkers into reality.
|| JM, 7:40 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney Dangerfield
|| JM, 7:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Now You Know

Bunghole Liquors History (VIA Linkfilter)
A bit of history, which CONVENIENTLY ignores the more obvious nudge nudge wink wink meaning.
|| JM, 7:39 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thumbs Up?

Bush Flips Out
I can't believe there are those who insist that this was anything other than W flipping the finger. What, you were expecting maturity or class? On the positive side, this is probably the clearest articulation of Bush's policies ever.

In the event your anger over his incompetence and contempt has got you down, you may want to throw Bush around as a quick pick me up!
|| JM, 7:37 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Local Flavor

Overheard in New York:
Guy: Is that a cruise ship? Oh no, wait. It's New Jersey.
--Sunset Park rooftop

For good measure, a few more semi-local links:
20 Great Things About New Jersey
Fun Diversions for the NYC Subway
The Scent of NYC
Boatyard Ruins
Fulton Fish Market
NYC Payphones
Abandoned & Little-Known NJ Airfields
The Woodbridge Clay Pits
|| JM, 12:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

New Super Hero

FROM: The PBF Archive
Given all the controversy over Hot Coffee recently, this seemed refreshing.
|| JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"One of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our fathers used in the great struggle for Independence."
Charles A. Beard
|| JM, 12:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

I've Got Good News!

Although I didn't save a bunch of money on my car insurance, Slate thinks that the Geico ads are the best ads on TV. They like the "tiny house" series, but I'm kinda partial to the caveman ones. Whatever floats your boat I guess.
|| JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Blog Depression

What Everyone Should know About Blog Depression (VIA Bibi's box)
"Fact: meta-bloggers may experience particularly severe blog depression when they realize that everyone is continually posting the same crap, on every other meta-blog over and over and over, the realization that meta-content is never "owned" can be painful....HEY!! I posted that two years ago! Now it's on Boing Boing and suddenly it's all popular?...If you feel overwhelmed with a crushing pressure to post to your blog, a pressure so acute and strong that you can't post anything at all, try to remember, NO ONE CARES. You took up blogging of your own accord, stop torturing yourself! You silly bastard!"
|| JM, 12:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Back In Space

To celebrate the shuttle returning to space, there can be no better time than now to check out women in spacesuits! But I am severely disappointed over the absence of Seven of Nine from this gallery.
|| JM, 9:07 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

Today's Inspiration

If you thought that YOU had a bad day, perhaps a little inspiration is what you need to perk you right up! A ton of really funny (and really sick) clips await you at Rainbow Animations.
|| JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"While driving I had an accident with a magician. He came out of nowhere!"
Auggie Cook
|| JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Hot Stuff!

Thanks to Lewis Black (on The Daily Show) for pointing out the cynically opportunistically introduction of the 'Burn Baby Burn' barbecue sauce.
|| JM, 12:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Ignore The Man Behind The Curtain

From Skippy The Bush Kangaroo a recycled (but still relevant) list of the top 10 reasons Dorothy was greeted as a liberator ...and our army wasn't:
10. the wicked witch of the east actually had weapons of mass destruction.
9. rebuilding contracts awarded locally to lullaby league and lollipop guild.
8. dorothy apologized.
7. evil oppressor legally verified as "really most sincerely dead" rather than "maybe dead."
6. dorothy got it that she wasn't in kansas any more.
5. did not install toto as interim governor of munchkinland.
4. went home as soon as possible.
3. no interest in munchkinland's natural resources.
2. dorothy wasn't taking orders from the one with no brain.
1. no collateral damage.
|| JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

I'm Not Obsessed...Really!

The Body Bouncer
I hadn't planned to do another sexually oriented posting, but then I saw this piece of silliness. "By minimizing the amount of energy and attention spent on the mechanical routine of sex you can maximize the sensation of sex". Oh yea, spend less energy and attention on sex...that seems like you might be missing the point. I'm trying to be open-minded about this, but it just seems silly. Perhaps, the 250 lb. stripper from the last post might want to order this? Be sure to watch the demo movie if you need a good laugh!
|| JM, 12:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Shake It

Despite the fact that it may suggest that I have a one track mind, I'll point out the link to a site that sells removable stripper poles which would have fit in with yesterday's theme. They claim that it is "perfect for college dorm rooms, your living room or anywhere you want to put it." And it just keeps getting better, since the pole doesn't touch the ceiling and leaves "no holes in your ceiling or floor"..."Stripper pole base may be used as a coffee table when pole is removed"...and it "supports up to 250 lbs"!! Thanks; now I need to get the vision of a 250 lb stripper out of my head.

You may want to take a few lessons if you order one. They claim it's "not just for strippers anymore". Another case of where change isn't always a good thing.

And just in case you were going to Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture...don't do it!
|| JM, 12:11 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Lost In Translation

Backstroke Of The West
Matthew brings us a hilarious sampling of what happens when they translate (badly) Star Wars from English into Chinese, and then back to English.

And in a similar vein a link contain some funny jokes on translations and languages. (VIA Grow-a-brain)

Plus more bad computer generated translations here.
|| JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."
Art Buchwald
|| JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Konfabulator, runner of Widgets
I hadn't noticed that Yahoo purchased Konfabulator which is now FREE! That's the good news. The bad news is that they will change the name, if not to Yahooulator! and Yidgets, then probably to Yahoo! Widgets!

I love silly toys like this, which allow you to add "widgets" to your desktop that do a variety of things, some necessary, some silly, but usually fun. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I added a few hunks of code to my "active desktop" on my Windows machines to create a cheapo version of this, but now I can have the real deal...and put it on the Mac as well!
|| JM, 12:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Adventures of Tintin

Ok, I must have been living under a rock. The subject of Tintin came up the other day at lunch. Half of the room (there are usually a group of about six to ten of us who eat together in an empty conference room) erupted in a roar of recognition. I was in the half who sat there silently wondering "WTF are they talking about and why are they getting so excited?" Thanks to Wikipedia, I'm up to speed, although it hardly replicates the "warm fuzzies" that recalling this as part of your childhood must bring. Me, I've got Clutch Cargo.

After reading about Tintin, I couldn't avoid the temptation while I was at Wikipedia to take a gander at their other famous pairs....unlike yesterday, not a porn link. I was disappointed that the list didn't include Nathaniel and Isabel. I'm still reeling from last night's surprise twist on SFU, where Nate sleeps with Maggie (who DIDN'T see that coming?) and then apparently drops over dead. Much of the buzz on the web seems to be that he didn't die, but since they have done that twist before, and the series is ending, I have to think that he bought the farm.
|| JM, 12:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, July 25, 2005


Electric Pr0n
Combine geek with sex, mix in too much free time, and THIS is what happens. Gives a whole new meaning to "motherboard".

And The Porn Banner Showcase is a gallery of the tasteless. Thus, it may be offensive to those with taste. Otherwise, some damn funny stuff...and SO obviously NSFW. (VIA Fleshbot)
|| JM, 12:08 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

The Rules

The Men Commandments (VIA randomstuff)
Violate the rules and you are out of the man club:
  • No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another Man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.
  • It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.
  • Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another Man in the nuts.
  • If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
  • Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
  • || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
    Woody Allen
    || JM, 12:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Miscellaneous Testosterone

    Where Have All the Jockstraps Gone?
    For anyone looking for a post with balls. Or you could just be looking for garden style debauchery.
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Folding Fun

    Naughty Origami (VIA Beware of the Blog)
    If you enjoyed folding a shirt out of a dollar bill, this just might be up your alley.
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sex For Enlightenment

    Sex Techniques / Positions (VIA Bibi's Box)
    More positions than you can shake a ...oh, nevermind. Kama Sutra sex positions with old school illustrations for your convenience.

    If you need to figure things out, then a visit to the Encyclopedia of Sex may clarify and enlighten.
    || JM, 12:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, July 22, 2005


    Court pick seen as victory for oppressed white Christian male
    "By nominating U.S. Appeals Court Judge John G. Roberts Jr., President Bush disappointed those who hoped he would add diversity to the Supreme Court by picking the nation's first openly gay Mexican-Chinese transvestite albino jurist.

    However, the conservative Roberts does meet the most important test for any nominee; he does not appear to have an illegal nanny or sexual harassment fetish."
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety."
    Isaac Asimov
    || JM, 12:10 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Be More Funny

    How 2 B Funny
    According to this site, humor can be broken down into five distinct categories: pain, the unexpected, lies & untruths, wordplay, and puns. Until they got to the last one, I thought they were describing the Bush administration.
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    You Know What They Say

    The Book of Clichés
  • Clichés: each of them makes something easier, but all of them together make things very complicated
  • No one owns clichés
  • Clichés are never new
  • Clichés sound better in a foreign language
  • There is truth in every cliché
  • Avoid cliches like the plague
  • || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    The Answering Machine
    Reminds me of the fun I used to have with creative answering machine messages. Unfortunately, with the wife working out of the home sometimes there will be no more funny messages. But there never really were any that she found funny. Wives can be a tough audience.
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, July 21, 2005

    Separated At Birth?

    Creepy Old Guys
    SJ at Give Me The Booger points out the "seperated at birth" similarities between The Six Flags Guy, The KKK guy, and Uncle Junior. Great; now I'll have that "Da Da Dah Da Da Da Dah Dah..." song stuck in my head.

    All this time I've been feeling sorry for this old guy who has to dance frantically to promote a theme park. I even thought that the ads this year seemed toned down, perhaps because he couldn't handle the dancing. Now I'm reading that Mr. Six may be a woman and boy, do I feel stupid. But apparently it's easy to dress up like Mr. Six!
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Question Of The Day

    I've got a nagging question that needs to be answered. It might seem like I'm whoring for comments, and I guess in a sense I am. But I'm amazed that there are those who actually visit this page repeatedly. I'm glad they do, but I'm clueless on why they come back. And since most don't leave comments, I can only guess as to their motivation or state of mind. Don't get me wrong, since I've been known to lurk as well, and I don't comment when I have nothing of value to add (which is often) so I can't be upset when others do the same. But, in the interest of feedback let me make it easy for you. Just pick one of the following choices (or feel free to speak extemporaneously) and tell me "what brought you here?"
    1. Funny, ha-ha links.
    2. Challenging, interesting information on current events (well, it COULD happen)
    3. More mundane details of my so called boring life.
    4. Insightful and amusing commentary (again, it's not completely out of the question...just unlikely).
    5. Checking back to see if I've finally gone off the deep end or thrown in the towel.
    6. Accidentally clicked on that link you've been meaning to delete.
    7. Can't wait to see who he ripped off today!
    8. Dude, you suck.
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (5)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
    Lily Tomlin
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    So Wong, Yet So Right

    The World's Tallest Virtual Building (VIA Incoming Signals: A Weblog)
    Over 2.000m tall with 406 residents Mr. Wong's apartment building gives new meaning to the term diversity. Unfortunately, there are no vacancies.
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Order Now!

    Half Evil T-Shirt Black
    Yet another amusing T-shirt that I'll never purchase.
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, July 20, 2005


    Welcome to "all bullet-point Wednesday"!

    Top Excuses for Not Updating Blog
  • Computer incapacitated by baloney sandwich wedged in D: drive
  • Hospitalized following drunken fracas at LegoLand
  • Grounded
  • Developed carpal-tunnel syndrome following launch of
  • Didn’t feel like it
  • || JM, 12:13 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Consider This

    Things To Ponder
  • Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
  • Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
  • Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light" ?
  • Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • || JM, 12:12 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


  • A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
  • Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.
  • Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
  • Being is the great explainer.
  • Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
  • Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
  • Goodness is the only investment that never fails.

  • Henry David Thoreau
    || JM, 12:11 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Sassy Fascist

    The Wisdom of Ann Coulter (VIA Cynical-C Blog)

  • "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"---Hannity & Colmes, 6/20/01
  • To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."---MSNBC
  • "The presumption of innocence only means you don't go right to jail."---Hannity & Colmes 8/24/01
  • || JM, 12:09 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Bad Pick Up Lines

    Davy Barry points us to a not so subtle game featuring a few pick-up lines you may (or may not) want to try out:
  • Could I touch your belly button. from the inside?
  • If you were a burger from McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
  • You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
  • Your tag says "Made in the USA," but I could have sworn you were made in Heaven.
  • I hope you have a library card because I'm checking you out.
  • Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid because I scraped my knee when I fell for you
  • If you held up 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
  • Are you a parking ticket, because you have FINE written all over you!

  • And a few more that are even worse
    || JM, 12:08 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, July 19, 2005


    Global Swearing Archive
    As a public service, I include this link to Swearsaurus, the world's largest resource of multilingual swearing. It will teach you a vast array of swearing, profanity, obscenity, blasphemy, cursing, cussing, and insulting in 165 different languages! Now you can offend and insult just about anyone!
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Toy Story

    Toys From The Sixties
    A fun site that took me back to toys I had long forgotten about. I have to fess up that I had the Sears Service Station as well, but luckily no incriminating photos remain. I had always wanted Sixfinger when I was a kid, but never got it. "Sixfinger! Sixfinger! Man alive! How did I ever get along with five?"...just fine apparently...but I do have toy "issues" that may or may not relate to this. Have I become the gadget junkie that I am because I didn't get it? Probably not, but you never know. If I want it so badly there's always eBay.

    For more toys, be sure to check out some of the most well-remembered toys of yesteryear at TV Cream's Top 100 Toys.

    A nice recap of an amazing range of toys via Bibi's Box.

    But no waltz down memory lane would be complete without the sweet taste of Pez.

    And for a few of the less successful playthings be sure to check out Forgotten Toys of the 70's:
  • The Bionic Woman’s Dream Kitchen
  • Hot Wheels Van Detailing Playset
  • Battle of the Network Stars Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots: Cindy Williams Vs. Gary Burghoff
  • Steve & Edie’s Key Party
  • The Commodore 6 Computer—Recipe File System of Tomorrow
  • James Bond’s Swinging Bachelor Sno-Cone Maker
  • || JM, 12:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes."
    Dylan Thomas
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Mmmm... Toasty!

    Meat Boat Vets For Truth
    Our country is at a turning point. Some serious issues require our attention: The consequences of a corrupt administration, how to extract ourselves from the mess we've created in Iraq, how to restore America's prestige and credibility, and what happened to the u-cut meat boat that Subway used to make?
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Political Roundup

    Nixon and Bush: Presidential Parallels?
    The more I read about Rovegate you just can't deny the parallels between the current Bush mess and Nixon's troubles. An excellent article by Pete McCloskey which notes the similarities.

    A concerned citizen offers W a few helpful suggestions on how to resolve this.

    And Daily Kos brings us the resume of an Experienced Communications Professional Seeking New Job. His extensive credentials have already resulted in a job offer!

    A sad, shocking piece from Cookie Jill at Skippy The Bush Kangaroo which shows how vile and despicable the thugs who have hijacked the country really are. Thanking older Veterans for their service by changing eligibility standards rendering for example 85 percent of the vets living in Washington state veterans homes ineligible to stay!
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, July 18, 2005

    Even More Signs

    Something Awful: Billboard Bonanza
    The crew at Something Awful set out to prove that although obnoxious and ubiquitous billboards are bad, things can always be worse. A few photoshop versions of the road that we don't want to travel.
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
    George Carlin
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Point: Counterpoint

    The New Nanny Diaries Are Online
    An absorbing look at an employer who got more insight than she bargained for when she read her nanny's blog. (VIA
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Get A Life

    GET A LIFE SCRIPTS (VIA Found on the Web)
    A kewl link where they have the complete scripts from the cult classic Get A Life.
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Juror #1

    Martin Balsam In Space
    "In 1996, newspapers across the globe reported the death of the world's most beloved character actor: Martin Balsam. As the world mourned the passing of one of its greatest talents, little did anyone suspect the truth- that Balsam had faked his own demise in order to wander the galaxy righting wrongs and fighting for freedom"
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, July 17, 2005

    Dim Sum Engrish

    We made pigs of ourselves today at our favorite dim sum spot. While we were waiting for the bill, the wife noticed the ad for their desert items sitting on the table. Sorry, but I'll have to pass on their tempting "banana spit" offering.
    || JM, 3:52 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Week In Review

    Night Lines
  • "A judge in Mobile, Ala., has put a 90-year-old woman in jail for selling drugs. Here's my question: Where are the parents?" (Jay Leno)
  • "The White House says President Bush is standing by his top adviser, Karl Rove, even though Rove apparently revealed the identity of a C.I.A. agent. However, the president says he will fire Rove if he reveals the ending to 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.'" (Conan O'Brien)
  • "Last month, Congress took a bold step away from protecting America's mass transit systems by voting to slash next year's security budget for them by $50 million. Or, to put that in Amtrak terms, 45 cream-cheese-and-raisin sandwiches and a bottle of Diet Coke." (Jon Stewart)
  • "Brad Pitt is in the hospital. Nurses say it's not anything serious, although just to be on the safe side, they've already given him 11 sponge baths." (Jimmy Kimmel)
  • || JM, 10:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    Benjamin Franklin
    || JM, 10:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    I came back from my morning run yesterday and switched on the TV, only to witness what might be one of the most painful exchanges I've ever seen. The local wraparound of The Today Show sent the weatherman to do a segment where they did the weather and gave away copies of the new Harry Potter book to kids in a local childrens' hospital. (I've never understood the rationale for that kind of "public intrest + pop culture + here's the weather" kind of piece, but that's a rant for another day.) So the reporter, surrounded by children in wheelchairs, ones getting chemo, etc. sticks the mike in front of the kid and says; "Are you DYING to read the new Harry Potter book?" I'm guessing he wishes he could take back that question.

    But there is a part of me that is hoping that was just a hallucination, much like the one I apparently had on my run. I was going by a house where a car was backing out of a garage. I noticed it was a BMW convertible driven by a blond woman with a ponytail. Both deserved a 2nd look. So as the car pulled into the street and drove by, I noticed that the driver was actually a middle aged man with dark hair. How did I get that so wrong? Wishful thinking, perhaps?
    || JM, 10:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, July 16, 2005

    Today's Obsession

    Some of my weird tendencies include my need to categorize and list things and to find trends among everyday objects and activities. My fear is that this is some low level form of OCD. Sometimes it manifests itself in not entirely unpleasant ways. It could just result in an obsessive Google driven search for some stupid subject which winds up as a blog post. Or it could be driving down the road and noticing similarities in mailboxes. One of my favorites is when I see trends among people shopping. Many times Sunday at the mall is "Asian shopping day" (although this isn't a tough trend to spot). A better day is when it is "women with large breasts and low cut tops day" or "women with nice tight butts and even tighter little shorts" day. Ah, the joys of summer.

    Another weird thing I just noticed was the number of links I've collected to Librarian Blogs. I noticed this as I added Librarians in Glasses to my bookmarks with the idea of doing a related post at some point. No better time than the present, so here goes:

    Librarian Action Figure
    The Hot Librarian
    Depraved Librarian
    Librarian Avengers
    The Invisible Library
    The Laughing Librarian
    Spooky Librarians: Folderol
    Batgirl Was A Librarian!
    || JM, 12:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    I'm Sorry

    Cardjackers: I'm So Totally Sorry...
    "Listen to this, Bob. This card says,
    'I'm sorry ... you're so freaking white.'"

    "Ha, ha. That's true, Beth. You are so freaking white."
    || JM, 12:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Hot Video Game Action

    Sexual Moments In Video Game History
    In case Hillary and the morality brigade failed to notice, there has been a long history of video games and sex going hand in hand (or whatever in whatever). This site tells the story.
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak; and that it is doing God's service, when it is violating all His laws."
    John Adams
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Signs

    "Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing."

    Telltale Signs (VIA MetaFilter)

    Another tale as re-told via highway signs. This time it's The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe.

    Even more signs at Roadside Art Online with an amusing look at some old classic roadside signage. Be sure to check out some of the other links there; much good stuff such as the best store names ever!
    || JM, 12:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    You Can't Handle The Truth!

    A Few Good G-Men (VIA Everything isn't Under Control)
    Wow; some people really have too much free time...let's hope he gets the job he is looking for. A really well-done adaptation of A Few Good Men, done up by characters from Half-Life 2!
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, July 15, 2005


    Don't get me wrong, since I respect things well executed and those who have the discipline to be proficient practitioners of anything. That being said; I HATE MIMES! It's almost a fear on my part much like those who fear clowns. The only thing worse for me would be a mime playing bagpipes.

    But for those of you without those kind of issues, you may enjoy a visit to The World of Mime Theatre. Just don't come running back to me if you get creeped out! (Thanks to Bifurcated Rivets for the link)

    And Justin at Dude. Man. Phat. has demons of his own including fears of flying squirrels and a restaurant chain.
    || JM, 12:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Oh No!

    If there were any doubts that Hillary had her sights set on the Presidency, they were washed away when I read that she is asking the FTC to investigate and calling for legislation over the GTA sex-hack scandal. This is so silly on so many levels.

    The sexual content is possibly the least offensive part of this violent adult game for starters. But the keyword here is "adult". Where the heck are the parents who should be the ones to regulate the games, media content, and the overall direction of their kids' development? And to get to the juicy parts of the game, you would have to download and install the patch, which for most kids today is no big deal. But just surfing to real porn sites is even easier.

    So what's the point here? Just trying to usurp the "family values" issue from the GOP I'd have to guess. Nothing wrong with that, but this doesn't seem the right issue to try to out-Republican the Republicans. She's been trying to gain centrist credentials for some time, so this is just more of the same. And I guess pandering to the right hasn't worked out too badly for the current President. I suppose she can do this without jeopardizing her current base.

    And Political Animal mulls around the events and scenarios that might play out to put Hillary in The White House.
    || JM, 12:15 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
    Milton Berle
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    We'll go no more a Rove-in'

    VIA The Limerick Savant:

    "Well, by Jove, it seems Rove's up a creek
    With the White House refusing to speak.
    We think it a pity
    They haven't hired Liddy
    And his bumblers "Plumbers" to handle the leak."

    Rove Isn't the Real Outrage
    By Richard Cohen, The Washington Post

    Newsweek's Howard Fineman explains the newly found backbone of the MSM. Apparently it's a case of "fool me once..."

    And from World O'Crap comes the Ultimate Wingnut Challenge: The Media Wingnuts Face Off featuring the neo-con pundits' view of Rovegate.

    One last link, where Paul Krugman takes us on a tour of Karl Rove's America:"What Mr. Rove understood, long before the rest of us, is that we're not living in the America of the past, where even partisans sometimes changed their views when faced with the facts. Instead, we're living in a country in which there is no longer such a thing as nonpolitical truth. In particular, there are now few, if any, limits to what conservative politicians can get away with: the faithful will follow the twists and turns of the party line with a loyalty that would have pleased the Comintern."
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Decision Maker
    Go Ahead...just ask a question.
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, July 14, 2005

    Fold Your Own

    Shirt For A Buck
    Impress your friends, or scare them.
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:


    Scott at Poetic Leanings points us to a great point by point rebuttal by The Left Coaster of the GOP (trash) talking points. A ton of links to supporting documentation as well!
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought."
    Sir William Osler
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Wanted Poster Generator (VIA The Presurfer)
    You can upload a picture, specify the name, crime, and reward and make your own wanted poster. One of those links that is too cute to ignore, even if everybody links to it. I made one of me, but in the interest of not scaring anybody I'll keep it to myself.
    || JM, 12:04 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Story Time

    Boy meets girl, boy has fun, boy tells story using highway signs.
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, July 13, 2005


    Soda Magazine Ads From Nostalgiaville (VIA Exclamation Mark and Quiddity)
    This is a pretty good site if you like nostalgia, soda, or collectibles. Prepare to step back in time and waste some! Despite the ad that claims "Pabst Malt Extract is an agreeable tonic" I'd have to venture a guess that it was some nasty stuff.
    || JM, 12:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Contemporary Clichés

    Weasel Words (VIA Found on the Web)
    Productivity gains is where workers have to work longer hour for less money and produce more products/outcomes. Productivity gains has nothing to do with developing new technology or buying latest technology, machinery, hardware or even software, because industry cannot incur such costs to their bottom line. If industry did invest in such areas it would not achieve the mystical productivity gains.

    How are you? I'm good: ' .In response to the question:"How are you" ? "I'm good"." Does anyone say "I'm bad" ? When someone says that he or she is good, the person could be asked if he or she has been bad recently, or if he or she is simply making a statement about his/her morals.'
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times."
    Everett Dirksen
    || JM, 12:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Here We Go Again

    Sirotablog: GOP/Bush Back to Smearing Man Who Exposed Lies About the Iraq War
    "We've finally come full circle. The entire Karl Rove-CIA leak scandal started out as the White House's sick ploy to punish Ambassador Joseph Wilson for having the nerve to admit that the entire reason America went to war in Iraq - WMDs - was a flat out lie. Now - incredibly - though all of Wilson's assertions were true, and even after the GOP has tried to destroy his family by endangering his wife's undercover identity (and in the process, weakened America's natioanl security), the White House has come back to where it started: attacking Wilson.

    As uncovered by Raw Story, the GOP is now handing out talking points on Capitol Hill urging Republican lawmakers to attack Wilson again as a way to distract from the fact that White House political guru Karl Rove compromised U.S. national security. Though the media would like you to believe a smear campaign is being run against Rove, the real smear campaign has always been run by Rove against one target: Joe Wilson and his family, all because Wilson had the guts to tell the truth about the lies that led us into war..."
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    You've Got To Be Kidding!

    Strippers Busted In Birthday Bash
    Ok, I innocently (well, OK maybe NOT so innocently) clicked on this link, drawn as a fly is to a light bulb by the word "strippers". How can you go wrong? Well, apparently the standards for strippers in Arkansas must be a little different than they are around here. (But then again, I've seen some of the women that Clinton was allegedly involved with).
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Love Your Job

    (Image VIA
    Yes, it really was one of those days today. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. Perhaps I will win the lottery. Naa...probably not.
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, July 12, 2005

    Ancient Secret Revealed!

    The Golden Ring Diet
    Rob at has made an amazing discovery. While most solid foods have a blocky or clumped shape, a few have a distinct shape which can be directly attributed to reduced calorie content and weight loss. This powerful effective, magic and secret shape is the torus, or donut shape. Foods with this empty area in the center have fewer calories, so obviously a diet based on foods with this shape will allow for a rapid weight loss! Check it out and see what one satisfied customer has to say:

    "I can't thank you enough for your life-saving fake diet! As the pictures show, I lost over 200 pounds of ass with this miracle. Bless you! (And call me!)"
    || JM, 12:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Craiglist Gold

    A few ads from The Best Of Craigslist:
    Haunted toaster
    RE: Best Self Pleasure Method
    Rant From a Frustrated Movie Theater Employee!
    You...being shoved in the back of a squad car... - m4w - 27
    no, I don't want your gyro - w4m
    Your Librarian Hates You
    High Maintenance Girlfriend, Trade for Boat 21 Ft. + or - $800
    Is my dog gay?
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others."
    Jonathan Winters
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    McSweeney's: Unhelpful Clues Given By Jan-Michael Vincent During An October 1983 Taping Of The New $25,000 Pyramid Where The Category To Be Guessed Was "Things You Do At A Party"
  • Victoria Principal
  • Little of this, little of that
  • The neutron dance
  • Crack wise with Bruce Boxleitner
  • Whatever floats your boat, man
  • Serve a few helpings of the old knuckle sandwich
  • Ludes
  • || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tom's Blog

    I'm Tom Cruise, and I'm in LOVE!!! (VIA Bacon and Eh's)
    Since EVERYBODY has a blog, here's one from everyones' favorite Scientologist (no, not Leah Remini)! Well, not really...but it could be.

    "This afternoon, we stayed in to watch some movies. We saw the 2004 version of Dawn of the Dead, but we had to turn it off before the end, because the zombies reminded Katie too much of Scientologists in our Church."

    And in a related story: Aliens seize Tom Cruise's brain.
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, July 11, 2005

    More Road Trippin'

    Road Rage Cards
    Make a statement by using these conveniently designed flipbook messages. 43 signs to express a wide range of rage!

    You thought YOUR car was difficult sometimes? Perhaps you need to see Gary The Talking Car to put things in perspective.

    And if you are planning a road trip and want to include odd and offbeat destinations, Roadside America has tons of suggestions.

    But if you are looking to save gas and just want to experience a virtual road trip, this game may be just what you need.
    || JM, 10:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Another Dilbert that is destined for walls of offices everywhere. Count me in as well.
    || JM, 10:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "At this point, why don't we just hand Halliburton the keys to the U.S. Treasury and tell them to turn off the lights when they are done?"
    Frank Lautenberg
    || JM, 10:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Doggone Weird

    A funny thing happened yesterday that suggests getting a 2nd dog (like we were thinking about) might not be that easy since ours gets very jealous about other dogs. We stopped to buy carpet at a local store, and the owner had two of her dogs there with her. Since she was busy with other customers and we weren't in a hurry we just sat on the floor like 10 year olds and played with these 2 cute little Yorkies until she was free. When we got home, instead of the usual "love fest" that occurs when we walk in the door, we got the sniff treatment. Much like the wife who detects stripper cologne on her hubby, our dog wasn't pleased. After the sniff fest (with NO tail-wagging) she ran into the living room and jumped on the couch and just sat there, looking dejected. Not her usual behavior by any means and one that put the idea of introducing a new dog in the house on ice. (A recycled pooch pic, since I can't find my USB cord to upload my new pics).
    || JM, 10:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Dumb Stuff

    The Gallery Of Stupid Toys (VIA Everything isnt Under Control)
    "One has to assume that Mego actually thought kids would be interested in 'action' figures from the Love Boat show. Yes indeed, can't you picture little Timmy playing with Captain Stubing, Isaac, Gopher and Julie? With action like 'bringing somebody a meal' and 'removing the captain's hat,' it's hard to believe that these weren't the most popular toys ever."
    || JM, 10:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, July 10, 2005

    Road Trippin'

    Did a "road trip" the other day, which took me to PA via The Pennsylvania Turnpike. Although this is supposedly the first superhighway, much of it looks like it's been unimproved since its' construction. It seems like they have been working on the same stretches of the road near Philly for the last 15 years doing various and needed improvements. Having just made it wider (only for gigundamundo breakdown lanes) a few years ago, they are finally getting around to putting new bridges on the roads that go over it so that they can add lanes for traffic. The wife always notes (with glee) that it always rains when we go to PA, and this time was not an exception.

    One thing that made me crazy in the work zones (other than the narrow two lane "cattle shoots" where you have to drive right next to a wall without a shoulder) were the contradictory signs that warned you that you were going to "lose a lane" ahead. As soon as you would pass this sign, they would have another stating that "both lanes are open until the merge". This paring appeared several times, until they started getting specific about when you would lose the lane. Shortly after a sign that stated "lane ends in 1500 feet" another sign was posted stating "Merge Now: Take Your Turn". Maybe drivers in PA are more polite than Jersey drivers since I just don't see drivers around here "taking turns".

    Although not a highlight of the trip, a notable event (or at least an excuse for a lame blog entry) was passing the Hershey's Kissmobile on the road. Admittedly not one of the best product theme vehicles that exists, but the only one I've actually seen being driven. These kind of things are cheap advertising that usually puts a smile on the face of kids, and the kid that is inside of us all. This sighting caused me started to look for other examples of these. I'm still searching for links leading to the fabled PEP-O-MINT truck, but a few of the ones I've come across include:
    Wienermobile Time Machine
    Mr. Peanut's Hot Rod (and the old version)
    The Meow Mix Mobile
    A Giant Goldfish Invasion
    The Spammobile!
    Eckrich Fun House
    A Day with Thomas The Tank Engine
    Pfizer Revolution Mobile
    Kellogg's Tonymobile
    The Shick Shave Shack
    The Zippo Car
    || JM, 10:56 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Doggoned Cute!

    Designer Dog Mailboxes
    I MUST keep this link hidden from the wife, since she will want to order one of these. Luckily, this page is the last place she (or anybody, for that matter) will look.
    || JM, 10:54 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    41 vs 43

    Unlike father, unlike son: Bush vs. W (VIA Cynical-C Blog)
    Rather interesting to view this side by side comparison. In case you needed a reminder of what a pretender/miserable failure the 2nd generation is!
    || JM, 10:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us."
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
    || JM, 10:52 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Chinese Watermelon Art
    What's better than a refreshing slice of melon on a hot summer day? How about a watermellon sculpture instead?

    And an interesting article about the new branch of The Commerce Bank (anybody else expect to see Mr. Drysdale there?) that just opened in Chinatown: Keeping Luck Under Lock and Key.
    || JM, 10:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Cathedrals Of Sports

    Neglected and Decrepit
    "The official hotel for Tuesday's All-Star Game is in Dearborn, Mich., and most players will take buses to Comerica Park, in downtown Detroit, for the festivities. On their way, they may pass another stadium and have the same reaction Derek Jeter did last week...."We were saying, 'What are they going to do?' " Jeter said. "They probably should tear it down if they're going to just let it sit there and rot. Either keep it up, or tear it down and put some kind of monument there. I don't think it's fair to just let it sit there and rot."

    Hey, Sports Fans, Guess What We've Named Your Stadium
    "I ask you, would the fans in Mudville have named their stadium Fritos Field? Would there have been a Gipper if the Irish were asked to play in Sara Lee Stadium? Could the Babe have possibly smoked No. 60 into the bleachers of some ballpark named after an onion dip enhancer? Disappearing are the hallowed names of our sports stadiums - Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, the Polo Grounds, Sportsman's Park - names that stirred memories and images of champions. Yes, Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium have survived, but they may yet become Fig Newton Field and SnackWell's Stadium. As we speak, Churchill Downs could be dickering with SpaghettiOs."
    || JM, 10:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, July 08, 2005

    Different Strokes 4 Dif-Rnt-Foks

    I made the mistake of looking for a link about The Clapper. I was expecting to find something pointing me to the folks who brought you the chia pet. Sometimes, you don't get what you expect. Follow me into Google hell:

    Clap On! Clap Off!
    Clapper: One who applauds
    Clapper rail
    Clapper Loader
    Clapper Deformity
    Theft of the Clapper
    Clapper's Gift Certificates
    The Clapper Family
    Dit Clapper: Hockey Legend
    Raymond Clapper: Journalist
    || JM, 12:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Pampered Pups

    Humans Are Stupid Dog Shirt
    "Animals are a lot smarter than we think. In fact, some dogs are so brilliant they could join your local high school's debate team or computer club. Don't believe it? Just take a gander at this dog shirt that proves that "humans are stupid". Binary translates to 'humans are stupid' in ASCII."

    And in the event you want to pamper your pooch even more, you could install this Doggie Doodie Digester
    || JM, 12:13 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If one party is shameless, the other party can't afford to be spineless."
    Frank Lautenberg
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    That Explains It!

    Top 11 reasons Sandra Day O'Connor retired from the Supreme Court:
  • Right leaning Court insisted on 'ladies first' protocol.
  • Wants to start a family.
  • Once California court found Jackson not guilty, she could move on without fear for Michael.
  • Tired of Justice Thomas' referring to her as 'The Swinger' vote.
  • Ruth Bader Ginsburg is still a size two! That b----!
  • Jan Brady Middle Child Syndrome: 'Scalia, Scalia, Scalia.'
  • "Paper covers rock, Renquist stays, O'Connor goes."
  • Chief Justice Renquist can't retire until his replacement has been confirmed to a lower post.
  • Threats to take Justice Thomas' constant sexual harassment all the way to the Supreme Court met with laughter.
  • Offered a reality show by Court TV.
  • Karl Rove said she didn't have to stay anymore.
  • || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    It Sucks!

    A Long List Of Things That Suck (VIA Information Junk)
    And a few more links that suck:
    A Century of Sucking
    Vacuum cleaner art
    Rants About Things That Suck
    Bumper Stickers That Suck
    Listmania! Things That Suck
    People Who Say Things Suck - SUCK T-shirt
    Bill O'Reilly Sucks
    Bush Sucks
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, July 07, 2005

    Demand The Truth

    Impeach Central (VIA Skippy the bush kangaroo)
    A site dedicated to the impeachment of the current administration, as a result of the lies and deception of W, Darth Cheney, and the puppet-master Rove as they deliberately deceived and mislead the American public and Congress. Since a partisan movement to impeach based on much less serious offenses proved successful before, we owe it to ourselves to support and pursue this goal.

    Despite the numerical advantage of the GOP, these transgressions are serious enough that with an engaged and outraged public, we could find bipartisan support for an impeachment hearing. Step 1: sign the petition. Step 2: write your Representative and demand that they get the truth on the table about why they lied about invading Iraq. This administrations' lies and subsequent cover up (including the Plame affair) seems far more serious and it effects far more lives than the foolishness that followed that BJ inspired deception.

    Until we rise up and demand that the voices of sanity prevail, it looks like we will be treated to more of the same, with right wing rhetoric that sounds good, but lacks substance or vision.
    || JM, 7:31 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Name That Candybar
    A yummy quiz, which is tougher than you might think.
    || JM, 8:28 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Twisted History

    Invention Pioneers Of Note (VIA MetaFilter)
    A taste of culture and history (yea, right). Guaranteed to fulfill your daily minimum requirement of silly. Learn the secrets of the "extreme flame burger"...if you have too much time on your hands!
    || JM, 8:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Everything government touches turns to crap."
    Ringo Starr born today 7-7-40
    || JM, 8:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sim Stuff

    Very Strange Sims
    I haven't had the time or inclination to fire up The Sims for a very long time. After viewing these VERY DISTURBING IMAGES, you can be sure I won't be doing so any time soon.
    || JM, 8:25 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Eye In The Sky

    Google Maps Transparencies
    As much as I've loved playing with Google Maps since they've added the satellite view, and NOW you can combine the two!
    || JM, 8:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Cranky Guy Rant

    I'm not sure when it happened, but I find that I've turned into a cranky old fart. It's one more thing that I said would never happen, that just snuck up on me like marriage, living in a split level house, caring about the way the lawn looks; all that middle class stuff that I spent so much time rejecting and running away from. How and when did these values creep in and replace all those idealistic notions that I used to hold so dear? Perhaps, it's my capacity to be flexible in the face of changing conditions, but that might just be me putting a good face on being spineless.

    Two incidents this week reminded me how far this metamorphosis has progressed. The first was when the kid who moved in next door was just hanging out playing in my yard. It's not like he's a wee tyke (he's 12) but he was just standing there and playing like it was his yard. The wife and I went out and made small talk and tried to suggest that he was better off playing in the safety of his own fenced in yard. It was then that I realized I was one step away from being the old fart saying "hey kid: get off my lawn!"

    And then yesterday, I was ordering lunch at Panera Bread and after they took my order they ask for my name. Geesh, I just want a sandwich, not a relationship! Who the heck are you to be presumptuous enough to use my name? You don't even know me...what's wrong with the impersonal but efficient number system? Yes, you do make a tasty sandwich, but that doesn't give you the right to take too much for granted, even if you do tempt me with your free wi-fi.
    || JM, 8:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, July 06, 2005

    Look, Up In The Sky!

    100 Views of the Empire State Building
    This is probably old news, since I half recall seeing this before and not following the link. Too bad, since there are some pretty spectacular and unconventional views to be seen.
    || JM, 8:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm."
    Vince Lombardi
    || JM, 8:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Blessed Are The Sneaky

    TBogg: Can you keep a secret?
    "The White House and the Senate Republican leadership are pushing back against pressure from some of their conservative allies about the coming Supreme Court nomination, urging them to stop attacking Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales as a potential nominee and to tone down their talk of a culture war..."
    || JM, 8:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link: