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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Not Lovin' It

McDonalds Wants You To F*ck It's Sandwiches
"Nothing is better than when a giant company makes an attempt to be cool with their marketing, only to do something that is completely moronic causing the very audience it is chasing to mock them.....Although I firmly believe that McDonalds is not advocating hot man on sandwich action, it is quite obvious that they did not do their homework as if they had, it is likely that they would have realized "I'd Hit It" is not exactly the catch phrase to use when selling fast food."

And as if this isn't enough McDonalds is also starting to outsource their drive-throughs!

Before McDonalds become the omnipresent roadside institution that it has become, Howard Johnson's was the place that provided food and comfort to a generation of travelers, before it fell victim to changing tastes, changing lifestyles, and corporate neglect. All that exists are our memories, and the site America's Landmark: Under The Orange Roof does a great job preserving those memories.

And if you are nostalgic for fast food chains that are no more, this Gino's Hamburgers tribute site is sure to stir up memories if you are from the Northeast.
|| JM, 8:25 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."
Rodney Dangerfield
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Too Much Information

Star Jones Update
"The demanding diva announced yesterday on live TV that she's willing to undergo elective surgery to have her breasts enlarged because her new husband, Al Reynolds, 'cares about boobs.'"

I'll bet he long do we give this matchup? When does the prenup expire? And does she realize that people watch "The View" in spite of her, and not for her? It seems like she turns every topic into a forum to discuss herself and her damn wedding. But maybe it's just me that finds her annoying.
|| JM, 8:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Don't Blame Me

If You Are Not Outraged You Have Not Been Paying Attention
Since we seem to live in an era where bumper sticker jingoism takes the place of any thoughtful discourse on some very serious issues, this site has a few I can get behind. Some other good ones include:
  • Don't blame me I voted for Kerry.
  • I think therfore I am... A Democrat.
  • Bush seldom in doubt often wrong.
  • Gop does not spell god.
  • Jesus was a liberal. Now whats your point?
  • The rightous were wrong in Jesus' time too!
  • || JM, 8:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, January 28, 2005

    Separated At Birth?

    Does anybody else think that John from The Apprentice's Net Worth Corporation might be a separated at birth sibling of Vince Vaughn?

    I was really prepared to hate the new season of The Apprentice since I felt the "book smarts" vs. "street smarts" signified that the show was about to Jump The Shark. I'm glad to be wrong, and last night's episode was great, even if the use of the "F" word did make the rate of swearing in "Deadwood" seem tame.

    But when are we going to get away from all the horrible casting stereotypes? This season we have two doofus guys in bow ties, but it seemed that we might have avoided an Omarosa type. Unfortunately last night, out of nowhere, Verna snatched the mantle of "crazy black chick" which was kinda sad to watch, but like many train-wrecks I was glued to the set. I guess they have me hooked for another season.
    || JM, 8:29 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
    Thomas A. Edison
    || JM, 8:26 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Bad Day At Work

    Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't
    A few of these passed through my mind yesterday as a was having a two hour "conversation" with an irate lunatic:
    I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

    And many, many more as well as other work related humor.
    || JM, 8:25 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Newest Deal

    The Bushies' war on Franklin Roosevelt
    "Why are today's Republicans so hell-bent on changing Social Security? Clearly they're not driven by concern over government deficits. After all, they've engineered a taxing and spending regime that intentionally created record deficits.....Maybe it's because Social Security is an opportunity to refight-and perhaps win-a series of arguments the Republicans lost badly 70 years ago. To put it another way, it's a chance to knock down Franklin Roosevelt, finally."

    And some other thoughts on the assult on Social Security from Paul Krugrman in The New York Times:"Social Security privatization really is like tax cuts, or the Iraq war: the administration keeps on coming up with new rationales, but the plan remains the same. President Bush's claim that we must privatize Social Security to avert an imminent crisis has evidently fallen flat. So now he's playing the race card...."
    || JM, 8:24 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, January 27, 2005

    Failed Leadership

    A Multi-Polar World
    The Cold War-style American century is over and the world is entering a new multi-polar era, where the US is not considered the "leader of the free world" in any meaningful sense by anybody outside its borders. An interesting piece from MyDD via Daily Kos: "In a second inaugural address tinged with evangelical zeal, George W. Bush declared: "Today, America speaks anew to the peoples of the world." The peoples of the world, however, do not seem to be listening. A new world order is indeed emerging - but its architecture is being drafted in Asia and Europe, at meetings to which Americans have not been invited......

    Ironically, the US, having won the cold war, is adopting the strategy that led the Soviet Union to lose it: hoping that raw military power will be sufficient to intimidate other great powers alienated by its belligerence. To compound the irony, these other great powers are drafting the blueprints for new international institutions and alliances. That is what the US did during and after the second world war."

    And another fine piece from The Black Commentator: Crazy President, Crazy Nation via Knock Knock, Who's There?: "It is clear that George W. Bush is suffering from a terrible pathology, a sick paranoia...What is less clear is that the whole nation is quickly catching up with his level of insanity.

    We know the Bush story. A mediocre man was pushed along into schools, jobs and businesses that he simply wasn’t qualified to handle. Living up to the Peter Principle he rose to the level of his own incompetence and became president.

    Perhaps it is time to stop criticizing Bush for his shortcomings and talk about the nation’s shortcomings too. It is fitting that he leads a nation completely unqualified to be a world leader in any way."

    Or as Hoffmania puts it How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    "None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb. Its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?"
    || JM, 7:35 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "We are never prepaired for what we expect."
    James Michener
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    Blogging Introspection

    Another day, another post. Why I do this is a question that I haven't been able to answer. All the reasons that made me start this have pretty much fallen by the wayside, and it's just inertia and habit that make me continue. My goal of "finding a voice" seems to have largely alluded me, since a strong tendency to give in to "self-censorship" has me trashing many of the posts that I have written. Did I make the right choice when I hit delete instead of the publish button when I was about to post my rambling on snowblowers (and their size) as a symbolic penis substitute? I may never know. Many times, it's about putting as little effort into this as possible, since I won't feel bad if it sucks, if I really wasn't trying.

    I know that majority of the traffic that ever sees this is via the roll-of-the-dice blogger bar, although I'm always shocked and appreciative when someone takes the time to drop me a note or to link to this site. Thanks to all those who have linked, book marked, or taken the time to post a comment. I guess if I was really being honest, I'd have to admit that the feedback and recognition "might" be one of the things that makes me continue. Naww....that would just seem like I was looking for "pity-posts".
    || JM, 7:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The New & Improved Magic 8 Ball

    McSweeney's: Psychic Predictions From the Narcissistic Magic 8 Ball
    Not as much as I will.
    You will have to wait behind me.
    Come on, look who you're asking.
    My source says "moi."
    Looking good ... just like my sweet ass.

    || JM, 7:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Lists & Fun Stuff!

    The 10 Worst Corporations of 2004
    The year's most egregious price gougers, polluters, union-busters, dictator-coddlers, fraudsters, poisoners, deceivers and general miscreants......Of course, Wal-Mart made the list!

    Not a list, but on a related note Why Your Pointy Haired Boss Is A Mathematical Certainty. "We've all had one. That annoying boss who just doesn't have a clue. A useless middle manager that can't lead, can't manage yet somehow manages to keep his job. Well, know you'll know why he exists."
    || JM, 7:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, January 26, 2005

    My Secret Identity?

    I took a little quiz, and discovered something about my self that I didn't know.. Surely this will be a good day.

    Which Funny Barbie Are You?
    created with

    You scored as Exotic Dancer Barbie. You are Exotic Dancer Barbie!! Lucky you!

    Barbie got Back


    Exotic Dancer Barbie


    Goth Barbie


    Transgender Barbie


    Sorority Slut Barbie


    Gansta Bitch Barbie


    And many other off-beat Barbies can be found here
    || JM, 10:45 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    "One Pill Makes You Larger, And One Pill Makes You Small.."

    A Pill's Surprises, for Patient and Doctor Alike

    The sexual doldrums caused by the likes of Zoloft can apparently be counteracted by drugs like Wellbutrin. However, this doctor tells us that his patient had "an unfortunate" side effect, a two hour orgasm while she was shopping. I never seem to run into these women while I'm at work, but the obvious answer would be to hook his patient up with another side effect victim, the guy with the "four hour erection".
    || JM, 10:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The most tragic paradox of our time is to be found in the failure of nation-states to recognize the imperatives of internationalism."
    Earl Warren
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    Just Say No

    Daily Kos: No on Gonzales
    It's hard to argue with this: "As the prime legal architect for the policy of torture adopted by the Bush Administration, Gonzales's advice led directly to the abandonment of longstanding federal laws, the Geneva Conventions, and the United States Constitution itself. Our country, in following Gonzales's legal opinions, has forsaken its commitment to human rights and the rule of law and shamed itself before the world with our conduct at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib......Now is the time for all citizens of conscience to stand up and take responsibility for what the world saw, and, truly, much that we have not seen, at Abu Ghraib and elsewhere. We oppose the confirmation of Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General of the United States, and we urge the Senate to reject him."
    || JM, 10:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, January 25, 2005

    What A Drag!
    Recent posts on Boing Boing and Metafilter pointed me to this site, which might make the wing nuts who are trying to "out" Sponge Bob, realize how silly they are being. "If you want 'unnatural' sexual behaviour and 'improper' gender identity, one has to look no further than the world’s most famous antiestablishmentarian gender-bending wabbit."
    || JM, 10:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time."
    Norman Ford
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    Silly Facts

    Did You Know?
    Some trivial "facts" found via a link on J-Walk:
  • The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is 'Live Free or Die'. These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.
  • The forward pass was created by the football team at Saint Louis University.
  • The only borough of New York City that isn't an island (or part of an island) is the Bronx.
  • The tune for the "A-B-C" song is the same as "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
  • The common goldfish is the only animal that can see both infra-red and ultra-violet light.
  • If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.
  • Walt Disney's autograph bears no resemblance to the famous Disney logo.
  • It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound.
  • The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' symbolizes 'two women living under one roof'.
  • In Chinese, the words for crisis and opportunity are the same.
  • Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he hosted "Lorne Greene's Wild
  • Ralph Kramden made 62 dollars a week.
  • Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
  • A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
  • More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
    Now, I feel enlightened. When I saw the Lorne Green tidbit, I can't help but remember the song "Love Train" which is one of my own little mondegreens, or "mis-heard" lyrics. I always heard the lyrics as "people of the world, join in, on the love train....Lorne Green." Stupid I know, but plenty of other stuff is listed at The Archive Of Misheard Lyrics.
  • || JM, 9:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, January 24, 2005

    Dog Blogs

    Goggle Dog
    Duh, I thought this was The Google Dog, and for the life of me I couldn't figure how a dog could use a search engine. What a difference a letter makes! Cute, if you don't mind dogs dressed as humans.
    || JM, 8:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Random Thoughts
    Some amusing customer reviews at Amazon for the 1946 book "A Million Random Digits" by The Rand Corporation, via Everything Isn't Under Control.
    || JM, 8:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Change really becomes a necessity when we try not to do it."
    Anne Wilson Schaef
    (For another take on change, yesterday's Dilbert is a classic.)
    || JM, 8:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Memo To Self:

    Running Blogs
    As soon as the snow disappears, and once I've got all the procrastination out of my system here are a ton of running blogs to motivate me to get back into the swing of things. Knock on wood, the knee has been pretty good recently so it's time to return to the running routine.
    || JM, 8:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Off To A Bad Start

    Jan. 24 called worst day of the year
    It's Jan. 24, the “most depressing day of the year,” according to a U.K. psychologist. Great, that gives me so much to look forward to. And to make things worse, I missed National Pie Day!
    || JM, 8:50 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, January 23, 2005


    Carson Passes On
    When I heard that Carson was dead, for a brief moment I thought that the king of late night mediocrity Carson Daly had bought the farm....wishful thinking! Sadly, it's the real King Of Late Night that we have lost.

    Carson was an institution already as I was growing up, and it wasn't until I got to stay up that late did I get to understand why he had that status. Once you joined the "adult club" Carson was part of the fabric of your life. Much like remembering where you were when you heard about 9-11 or some such event, so many memories are intertwined with viewing Carson. He was "an everyman" who connected with his audience in a way few others ever did. Even during those years that I didn't watch TV, I still watched Carson. Television hasn't been the same since he left.
    || JM, 7:47 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Blizzard of 2005

    As I was driving to work yesterday, I passed by the local Dairy Queen and saw a sign that said "I want my Blizzard!" Looks like they got their wish. They say we are getting 15 inches, and looking out the window it looks like that's about what we got. It's still coming down, but seems like it's tapering off, so I'm running out of excuses to avoid digging out. Here are a few snow related links to check out in the event you don't have the real deal:
    The Bentley Snow Crystal Collection
    Snowman For Sale
    Build An Igloo
    Eskimo Words for 'Snow'
    The Digital Snow Museum
    Ever wanted to be able to draw your name in the snow?
    The Snowsuit Effort
    The Ice Hotel
    || JM, 11:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"
    Steven Wright
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    Another Star Trek Post

    The crew of the original Enterprise wasn’t trying to unite the universe, they weren’t trying to right the universe’s many and sundry wrongs—they were looking for kicks.
    I hate to do another Star Trek post and look like a geek, but this one was too funny to ignore.
    || JM, 11:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, January 22, 2005

    Image Of The Day

    Elephant uses human-like toilet
    Thank God this picture wasn't along the lines of the way I first read the link: "elephant uses human, like toilet"
    || JM, 10:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Suggested bumper sticker: “We are the Proud Parents of a Child Whose Self-Esteem is Sufficient that He Doesn’t Need Us Advertising His Minor Scholastic Achievements on the Bumper of Our Car.”
    George Carlin (more Carlinisms here.)
    || JM, 10:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Loathsome People

    The Beast 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004
    With all the "best of" lists that were making the rounds at the end of the year, I guess I missed this one. Some obvious choices such as Ann Coulter, Colin Quinn, Bob Novak, and Donald Rumsfeld but some not so obvious choices with supporting evidence and suggested punishments. (via The Presurfer)
    || JM, 10:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Satanic Gesture?

    Norwegians Confused by Bush Salute
    The Norwegians think Bush is a devil worshiper. Apparently, they are not alone!
    || JM, 10:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, January 21, 2005

    Rants and Ramblings

    On a whim I Googled the phrase, "Worst President Ever?" just to see what came up since I'm bored and disgusted. To no surprise, Bush was at the top of the list, but what I really wanted to see was how far I'd have to drill down to hit another name. I didn't have to go too far (3rd link), till I stumbled upon a reference to Jimmy Carter. That shouldn't surprise me either, since we tend to have a very short memory when it comes to historical events, and Carter is about as far back as most people can remember. Our Iraq policy suggests that very few remember Vietnam.

    You had to go pretty far down the first page till you hit Warren G. Harding, who until "W" came along pretty much "owned" this title, although James Buchanan and Herbert Hoover might have given him a run for his money. Honorable mention goes to Andrew Johnson, William Henry Harrison and Lyndon Johnson. Ironically Abe Lincoln pops up on as many of the "Worst Presidents" lists as he does the "Best Presidents" lists, with FDR having a similar divided opinion status. (And I thought the "divided nation" thing was a recent occurrence.) We'll never know where JFK might have fallen, since his assignation gives him a "bye" and moves him up the "good" list; without that bit of tragedy he might have been a contender for the "bad" list as well.

    Is there a point to this? Probably not. Just venting again. Eventhough I thought I had come to terms with "W" winning a 2nd term, the parade of the Bush nominees (Rice and Gonzales specifically) and their arrogance, their lack of accountability, and their unwillingness to admit any mistakes gets me crazy. Just the slightest sign of accommodation, moderation, or an honest review of what they have done (need a refresher?) would give me hope, but this isn't happening. These are people who feel they can do no wrong, who are above reproach, who have no shame, no guilt, and circumvent the democratic process at every turn. This is hardly a proud moment for our country. Let's hope history forgives us.

    Some interesting protest signs found at the coronation via Wonkette:
    War Begins with W
    We the People Say No to the Bush Agenda
    Jesus Christ Is Not the God of War
    Bush Hates America
    The Search for WMD is Not a Faith-Based Initiative
    What About the 98,000 Iraqi Civilian Deaths?
    Evil Rules in the Land of Fools
    Represent, My Ass
    Thousands of Dead in Iraq, and Bush Says He's Pro-Life
    A War is No Moral Value
    God is Pissed
    What if the Enemy Doesn't Lie in a Distant Land? What if the enemy lies Behind the Command?
    Impeach Bush
    || JM, 8:43 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow."
    Emo Philips
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    Wednesday, January 19, 2005

    The Softball Game Continues

    Everyone who is in over their head, raise your hand.

    I couldn't have said it better myself, so why try? From »«TBogg»«:

    "There was once a time when someone who failed so spectacularly in their job would have offered up a public apology and slunk off to a think tank where they could keep up the pretense of thinking with the other Not-Ready-for-Public-Consumption Players. But no. Condoleeza now gets the opportunity to continue to fail upward and, in an amazing feat of physics, drag us down with her. And because she has the full weight of George the Conqueror (who has an army and he's not afraid to use it) behind her, countries that know better will actually have to listen to her, nod knowingly, and pretend that she is good at what she does, making her the Pia Zadora of the State Department.

    We should be embarrassed, We should hide our heads in shame that we are so unserious about our place in the world. But when the world is already laughing at our headliner, who's really going to pay attention to the lounge act?"

    And in case you might have missed the sobering piece by Sy Hersh in The New Yorker about THE COMING WARS you really need to check this out. Again, The White House felt the need to disavow this one, and my theory about denying rumors applies to this as well!
    || JM, 10:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    On It's Last Legs?

    Not "Yet" At Least
    When you have to go as far as denying a cancellation rumor, it usually gives it some credence. I have to think that the handwriting is on the wall for "Star Trek Enterprise". Too bad, since it seems to have found it's "legs" last season, and has been moving in the right direction this year. Don't get me wrong; I'm a fan but not a big enough geek to start buying stuff like The Star Trek Communicator Bluetooth Headset!
    || JM, 10:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience."
    George Bernard Shaw
    || JM, 10:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Get It While You Can

    Some great suggestions from Poetic Leanings about some things to get in BEFORE the inaugural:
    Get that abortion you've always wanted.
    Drink a nice clean glass of water.
    Cash your social security check.
    Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
    Borrow books from library before they're banned.
    Stay out late before the curfews start.
    Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
    Go see Mount Rushmore before the Dubya/Reagan additions.
    Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
    Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
    Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
    || JM, 10:13 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, January 17, 2005

    MLK Day

    A special issue of classic pieces from The Onion to commemorate MLK Day. I've always felt that we'd know that there were no racial barriers when we start to see people bastardizing King's image and words in the advertising world like they do for the President's Day sales...."I have a dream....A Toyota Corolla for $13, 995!". Thankfully, his family carefully protects his legacy, so we will be spared this spectacle.
    || JM, 7:01 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
    Martin Luther King Jr
    || JM, 7:00 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    iPod Stuff

    A recent link on Endaget pointed me to an interesting series of photo journalism essays, one of which shows Bush with his iPod. I was a bit disappointed to see that W uses a iPod. It's like I joined what I thought was a cool club, only to find that they will let anybody in. Sorta like the old Groucho Marx line "I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER." But maybe he will spend more time grooving to tunes, and less time trying to figure out how we can invade Iran and dismantle Social Security.

    On a personal note, I absolutely love my iPod! Although the other day I had it in my front pocket when I was walking the dog and I was adjusting the volume as we walked down the street. I didn't think that it probably looked like I was adjusting myself instead. My search for the perfect case continues. And I can't get enough of the tracks from William Shatner's Has Been, which is fantastic, thanks probably to the efforts of Ben Folds.

    And while we are on the subject, an interesting article on Apple, from yesterday's NY Times on the "cool factor" surrounding Apple and the iPod.
    || JM, 6:56 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Today's Sleezy Links

    Everything's Virtual! Make your online experience even more titillating! If you are offended by vibrators, dildos, sex toys, or sex in general,don't bother....otherwise have fun.
    Not That Brad Pitt Needs This...
    FAQ for Strippers
    Porno Soundtrack
    || JM, 6:54 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Have A Ball

    Some interesting thoughts from Wonkett:

    Is there not a bit of irony in the titles of the balls? In that, with the exception of the CIC ball, the Patriot Ball, and the Stars and Stripes ball, they're all named after things the administration seems hell-bent on eliminating? Constitution, Freedom, Liberty, Democracy, Environment and Clean Energy? What role exactly do any of those have in current GOP policy?

    Perhaps they should come up with some new titles, to reflect the administration's position:

    The Unfunded Mandate Ball
    The Hell With International Opinion Ball
    The Indefinite Detainees Ball
    The Doctrine of Preemption Ball
    The Clinton Did It Ball
    The Legacy of the Crippling Deficit Ball

    Excellent. We have just one further suggestion: "The Abu Ghraib Electrodes Attached to Your Ball."
    || JM, 6:53 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, January 15, 2005

    Coronation Day Approaches

    The Freeway Blogger rides again.
    Thursday, January 20th, 2005 will be an historic date. With the swearing-in of George W. Bush for a second term as President of the United States, the world will bear solemn witness to what may well be the Biggest Mistake since the Dawn of Time. Future generations, provided there are any, will one day look to us and ask "What did you do during the inauguration?" Hopefully, you'll be able to look back and say: "I did everything I could: I was a Freewayblogger." Please join us on the freeways in a free, non-violent expression of horror and dismay on January 20th. Send your pictures to

    OR....If you're still sick about what happend back on Nov. 2, then you may need to stay home and get some rest on the 20th.

    If you are physically and morally nauseated by: rigged/unverifiable elections, corporate-sponsored misinformation and propaganda, torture, imperial war without end, exploitation of fundamentalist religion for political ends, plunder of tax and social security revenues, unrestrained greed and corruption... then you won't be lying to your boss when you call on Jan 20th. That is, if the Bush economy has not blessed you with unemployment already. Or if you don't have the luxury of paid sick days. Or if you just don't feel like it.

    Alternative acts of creative non-violent resistance and non-cooperation: wear all black, buy nothing, join a demonstration,email your congressperson, have a party and spit at the TV, you'll think of something. Show the Chimp he has no mandate.
    || JM, 11:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome."
    Rita Rudner
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    Handy Hints

    How To Use Gmail as a 2nd Brain
    Some cool tips (many I already use) about how to be more organized, and how to use Gmail as a tool. Although they will sell you an account, I'll give you one if you ask nicely.
    || JM, 11:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Silly Stuff

    On the road to success, a strong vocabulary is an extremely valuable tool. Luckily dictionaries can also be fun if you use them to look up dirty words. Now thanks to our old pal the Internet, we can actually hear professional voice-over people demonstrate the proper way to say them. Please enjoy the following educational collection of audio links to the Merriam Webster online dictionary: (for example:Bunghole!)
    || JM, 10:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    W Does His Part!

    In response to the recent cataclysmic earthquake and tidal waves in South Asia, President and Mrs. Bush are taking aggressive steps to serve as the very personifications of Christian altruism. They urge all Americans to carefully review and replicate their personal charity support schemata.
    || JM, 10:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, January 14, 2005

    Fun With Food

    Sushi Clocks
    After the last few sushi related posts, a change of pace is needed. You might want to try "The Dim Sum Clock" which also plants the seeds of a craving in my little pea-brain. You can also order sushi and donut clocks as well.
    || JM, 10:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More From Wally World...

    Wal-Mart Turns to Ads to Address Its Critics
    Ads in today's papers state that "Wal-Mart is working for everyone"; YEA RIGHT! It's hard to feel sorry for this "poor beleaguered company". They claim to provide excellent opportunities and good pay for their employees, but if this is the case we are all in trouble. Next time you are tempted to run out to Wal-Mart and grab some cheap crap, you may wish to consider some of this information:
    FRONTLINE: Is Wal-Mart Good For America?
    The Wal-Mart You Don't Know
    || JM, 10:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
    George Santayana
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    X Files

    Dear Sarah "Fan Girl" Williams,

    We regret to inform you that you have not been selected as a member of this year's class. Being able to recite, verbatim, the lines from every Orlando Bloom movie, while impressive, is not technically a superpower. Also, the fact that you are prohibited by law from coming within 10 miles of Orlando Bloom might limit our team's scope of service. Thank you for your interest in Xavier's School of Exceptional Youth.

    Professor X
    || JM, 10:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Hey Tsu-nami-nami

    Life Goes On...
    In the age of Photoshop, you can't be sure if the pictures at this site are real, but here are a few shots of people who weren't about to let a little natural disaster get in the way of their vacation!

    And it didn't take long for some Tsunami related urban legends to emerge.
    || JM, 10:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005

    Smells Fishy To Me

    Chocolate Sushi
    Chocolate Sushi is made from all natural chocolate and baker's ingredients. We use Belgian and Swiss Chocolate in our baking and rolling processes. Each sushi is carefully hand-rolled and portioned. Chocolate Sushi does not contain rice, fish or wasabi.

    Thank god; after yesterday's sushi cravings, the thought of chocolate covered fish was a bit much for me to handle.
    || JM, 1:06 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "There is still no cure for the common birthday."
    John Glenn
    || JM, 1:04 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    These Are A Few Of My Favorite Thongs...

    "Donate A Thong" for Tsunami Victims
    "Who says only money counts?
    Who says capitalist America doesn't care about Asian countries?
    Who says you must donate to be a good person?
    How about donating some thong?"

    And yet another way to make your thong disapear: The Anti-Panti!

    Or don’t go to Melbourne Florida, where wearing a thong on the beach, in local parks or out on the street could cost you $500 and land you jail!

    || JM, 1:02 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Further Adventures Of Borat

    Ali G Strikes Again?
    "No one knows for sure who he was, that Middle Eastern man in an American flag shirt and a cowboy hat who was supposed to sing the national anthem at a rodeo Friday night in the Salem Civic Center.

    But he sure shook up this town before leaving in a hurry.

    Introduced as Boraq Sagdiyev from Kazakhstan, he was said to be an immigrant touring America. A film crew was with him, doing some sort of documentary. And he wanted to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" to show his appreciation, the announcer told the crowd."

    At first, I didn't get Ali G, and I still sometimes don't find all the Ali G stuff all that funny, but Borat kills me every time! If you've missed him, the classic sketch is Throw The Jew Down The Well. Although it sounds like it might be anti-Semitic, Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G) probably doesn't have to worry about that accusation. Taunting rednecks until they get ticked off, is on one level cruel, but my mean side finds it pretty funny. The real irony is that these remarks were only a little to the right of many of the neo-con nuts running around and spouting off!
    || JM, 1:01 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Our Misleader

    Leading by misleading
    "From Iraq to Social Security to jobs, Bush administration hallmark is deception.....The Bush administration has been telling us only four out of the 18 provinces in Iraq will be too unsafe to vote in. Doesn't sound that bad, does it? Unless you happen to know that about 50 percent of the population lives in those four provinces. Will someone explain to me what earthly good they expect to do by misleading us?"
    || JM, 11:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, January 10, 2005


    Handmade Sushi Pillows!
    More practical and more esthetically pleasing that the girlfriend lap pillow, it's the sushi pillow! The only downside is that I'm now craving sushi.
    || JM, 9:49 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "They laughed at Einstein. They laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."
    Carl Sagan
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    The Adventures of Burton and Jefferson

    Misty Watercolor Memories
    I know I'm tired, hence easily amused, but I found these hilarious. Check out the whole collection!
    || JM, 9:45 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, January 08, 2005

    The Winners!

    The "I Look Like My Dog" Contest
    || JM, 11:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices."
    Edward R. Murrow
    || JM, 11:25 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!

    Fire Forces Evacuation
    Reading this link about a fire at the Macy's in King Of Prussia has me speculating if this was Inventory related. Since we are in the middle of taking inventory, I can just see someone concluding that it would be easier to burn it than to count it.
    || JM, 11:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, January 07, 2005

    The Next Generation

    Bigger, Smarter and more fun
    News from the robot world, via Slashdot. The next generation of Robosapiens features infra-red radar vision, a real voice, color vision recognition, stereo sound detection, laser tracking, and improved motion. It's also 10" taller and $100 more expensive!
    || JM, 9:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit."
    || JM, 9:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Emperor's New Clothes?

    BOB HERBERT:Promoting Torture's Promoter
    "The Bush administration hasn't changed. This is an administration that believes it can do and say whatever it wants, and that attitude is changing the very nature of the United States. It is eroding the checks and balances so crucial to American-style democracy. It led the U.S., against the advice of most of the world, to launch the dreadful war in Iraq. It led Mr. Gonzales to ignore the expressed concerns of the State Department and top military brass as he blithely opened the gates for the prisoner abuse vehicles to roll through.

    There are few things more dangerous than a mixture of power, arrogance and incompetence. In the Bush administration, that mixture has been explosive. Forget the meant-to-be-comforting rhetoric surrounding Mr. Gonzales's confirmation hearings. Nothing's changed. As detailed in The Washington Post earlier this month, the administration is making secret plans for the possible lifetime detention of suspected terrorists who will never even be charged."

    And even more good news from The Daily Kos : White House memo: Pitch Social Security doom. Rove aide strategy: Convince public system's `heading for iceberg'
    || JM, 9:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, January 06, 2005

    Alternatives To Consider

    McSweeneys: Alternatives to "Opening a Can o' Whupass" for the Less Confrontationally Inclined.

    Unsnapping a Purse o' Politeness
    Decanting a Carafe o' Contrition
    Unzipping a Fanny Pack o' Friendliness
    Sipping a Demitasse o' Diplomacy
    Refrigerating the Tupperware o' Temperance
    Unscrewing a Thermos o' Thoughtfulness
    Gently Folding a Napkin o' Negotiation
    Checking the Date on a Carton o' Caution
    Serving an Apéritif o' Avoidance
    Unpacking a Portmanteau o' Panic
    Emptying a Wastebasket o' Withdrawal
    Sealing and Applying Postage to an Envelope o' Escape
    Lightly Greasing a Ramekin o' Retreat
    Applying a Beechwood Veneer to a Hutch o' Hiding
    Cleaning Out a Drawer o' Disappearance

    || JM, 8:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends."
    Bobby Kelton
    || JM, 8:13 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    The largest list of oxymorons ever collected on line! The top 20 include:
    20. Government Organization
    19. Alone Together
    18. Personal Computer
    17. Silent Scream
    16. Living Dead
    15. Same Difference
    14. Taped Live
    13. Plastic Glasses
    12. Tight Slacks
    11. Peace Force
    10. Pretty Ugly
    9. Head Butt
    8. Working Vacation
    7. Tax Return
    6. Virtual Reality
    5. Dodge Ram
    4. Work Party
    3. Jumbo Shrimp
    2. Healthy Tan
    1. Microsoft Works
    || JM, 8:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, January 04, 2005

    Phone Links

    Jenny, Are You There?
    This has been noted on many blogs, but I can't help but to link to it since I find this kind of obsession and minutia fascinating:

    "There is an 80s song by Tommy Tutone called "Jenny (867-5309)" about a guy finding a girl's name and number on a wall and he wants to call it. The song led to telephone lines getting jammed when the song first came out, which led to the rumor that telephone companies don't give the number out or discontinued every 867-5309 out there. As you can see, I proved this wrong."

    Perhaps, I wouldn't find it as funny if it weren't for a few drunken nights when the song first came out when I tried to do the same, but heck; didn't everybody? And for more triviality, be sure to check out this mind numbing site: A compilation of 555 numbers from movies, television and radio.
    || JM, 7:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness."
    || JM, 7:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Fake Crisis

    Krugman: Stopping the Bum's Rush
    "The people who hustled America into a tax cut to eliminate an imaginary budget surplus and a war to eliminate imaginary weapons are now trying another bum's rush. If they succeed, we will do nothing about the real fiscal threat and will instead dismantle Social Security, a program that is in much better financial shape than the rest of the federal government....."
    || JM, 7:52 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    New Trend?

    Bikini Cuts: The Experience
    An interesting link found on Grow a Brain: "Bikini Cuts, Utah’s Hottest Salon, is a lot more than just a beautiful girl in a bikini cutting your hair. I know, I know, you’re thinking to yourself “who needs more?!" Let's hope this catches on!
    || JM, 7:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, January 02, 2005

    TV Time

    “Separate rooms, I'll arrange that by tomorrow, but today I can't fix it,... unless you kill a guest.”
    —E.B. Farnum to Wild Bill Hickok

    Glad to see that HBO will be showing the entire season of Deadwood again, starting on Monday, and the new season will begin in March. If you missed it the first time around (and I've talked to many that did) it's worth a look. Very engaging characters and story lines; I almost dismissed it since I didn't think I'd be into a "Western". Glad I had an open mind on this, but the wife still refuses to watch since the show is "too dirty". And we're not talking "XXX" type dirty, but she is disturbed by the lack of cleanliness and proper sanitation. In the event you might have missed my earlier Deadwood posts, here are some Deadwood links for 'ya:
    HBO: Deadwood
    The City of Deadwood
    Al Swearengen
    Seth Bullock
    Other notable people from Deadwood
    The number of times that the f-word was used in each episode
    || JM, 3:53 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
    Groucho Marx
    || JM, 3:52 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Time Wasting Fun

    Personality Tests & Web Toys
    "Fun little things. Play. Play.......hope you enjoy them, and heartily apologise for sucking out your very soul in the process."
    || JM, 3:51 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More New Years Links

    I'm sure that you are as sick of many of these overworked phrases as I am, so this 2005 List of Banished Words is right on the money. Some of the banned phrases include: IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE, ENEMY COMBATANT, ÜBER, ‘IZZLE’ – SPEAK, AND MORE!

    And another reason to look forward to 2005, which is apparently the year of the MILF.
    || JM, 3:48 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, January 01, 2005

    Happy New Year!

    Gee, the first post of the year. This should be something profound, but you would have to go somewhere else for that. A quiet New Year's Eve at home, with the exception of the dog who went ballistic at midnight when all the fireworks started. While watching "The Honeymooners" and "The Twilight Zone" marathons that they were showing on TV, I found myself doing a bit of channel surfing. A news program had the inevitable "year in review" piece on those who have passed on in the last year, and I was blown away by two things: 1) the amazing amount of famous and/or important people who died in the last year & 2) the fact that life is so unfair, since Carson Daly still lives and has a prime time special.
    || JM, 7:56 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The heritage of the past is the seed that brings forth the harvest of the future."
    || JM, 7:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link: