stats count

John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Raz!

the cartoon raspberry museum
Steve at The Sneeze has assembled a cute collection of "valiant and horrendous raspberry spellings in print."
|| JM, 10:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Oh; Never mind!

I hate those moments when I see myself clearly and don't recognize the person that I see. Yesterday was one of those times. I was driving to work, and the news headlines were on the radio. One of the stories was about the recent Supreme Court decision which said that "workers who sue their employers for age discrimination need not prove that the discrimination was intentional". They then went to a sound bite of someone saying that "this is a great decision which will prevent AIDS discrimination". I was thinking that I really didn't see how that was related, but I was late for work and didn't give it anymore thought until I read the paper this morning and see that I've turned into Emily Litella.

Since I'm in a SNL mode: Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger!
|| JM, 9:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
Lily Tomlin
|| JM, 9:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

TV Time

Wow, I didn't think it was possible but they went and did it. Who knew that they could assemble a group of "B" list celebs that I could care less about than those slated to appear on The Surreal Life 5? Jose Conseco, Omarosa, and "the rest" insure that I won't be tempted to pause and look if I accidently channel surf past this mess. Well, maybe for a few moments....who am I kidding? I love a good trainwreck, but this just sounds like a snoozer.

And since The Daily Show is in repeats this week, I found myself channel surfing and stumbled upon Invasion Iowa. William Shatner "pranks" small town America, specifically the "future birthplace of James T. Kirk". They claim to be shooting a sci-fi movie and the premise seems to be to mock both the "red state" folks and Hollywood cliches. A few amusing moments since Shatner as always is making fun of himself, but for the most part it just didn't work for me. Shatner redeemed himself somewhat when he admitted that he felt badly about making fun of these people since he grew to like them, but overall it just doesn't make me crave more.
|| JM, 9:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Photo Of The Day

Nothing I could say would add anything to this!
|| JM, 9:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Hommina, Hommina

Better Living Through Television
Norton: ... I wish there was a product that does the work of all these things...
Ralph: ... I am... the Chef of The Future!
Norton: But can it core an apple, oh chef of the future?
Ralph: Ohhhh... it can core a apple

You can imagine my surprise when I made a reference to "The Chef of The Future" to a co-worker yesterday, and I was greeted with a blank stare. "You know, the Gleason routine from The Honeymooners?" She said, "no, I'm not really familiar with that". I'm used to making obscure references that not everyone gets, but I really thought that this was pretty well known piece of popular culture. Guess it's just another sign that I'm approaching fossil status. Soon, I'll be able to bore small children with the tale "I remember when telephones had dials."
|| JM, 9:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

April Fools...Early

"The Top 100 April Fool's Day jokes celebrates the best of April 1st. But it's worth remembering that sometimes the holiday inspires attempts at humor that don't turn out so well. Some attempts are, in fact, truly awful, reminding us that it can also be the practical jokers themselves who are the fools. So without further ado, here are the top 10 WORST April Fool's Day hoaxes ever."

And a recap of the web sites that pulled april fools pranks here.

Why don't you wreak some havoc on a friend or a good-natured coworker? Some other ideas that may or may not get you fired. Or if you need more ideas, a visit to The Prank Institute might be helpful!

And the impact of the classic office "re-decorating" can't be beat!

But the question remains "Why do we do it?"
|| JM, 9:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Fools are more to be feared than the wicked."
Queen Christina
|| JM, 9:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Unspoken Afterthoughts

McSweeneys: Unspoken Afterthoughts to Childhood Catch Phrases
God made dirt, so dirt don't hurt ... but rocks do.
Pretty girls have all the fun ... and all the babies ... and none of the diplomas.
Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me ... except when spoken by my overly critical, infantilizing mother.
You catch more bees with honey ... but who the hell wants to catch bees?
Treat others as you wish to be treated ... unless you're a masochist.
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all ... it's better to lash out unexpectedly.
Jesus loves you ... but he's the only one, you sanctimonious shit.
|| JM, 9:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Power Date

Dog Judo
What can I say, other than "it's cute" and "worth a look"?
|| JM, 9:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


What Is Bigger Than A Whopper?
Great, as if the double crossandwich isn't bad enough BK now feels the need to introduce the Enormous Omelet Sandwich. This is bad news for America's waistline, with 730 calories and 47 grams of fat. And it's probably worse news for my brain, since I'm sure we will be subjected to more disturbing commercials featuring either Hootie or The King. The above image has given me many sleepless nights.
|| JM, 7:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


"Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets-foods that have had all of their organs safely removed."
Dave Barry
|| JM, 7:42 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


Just wave your hand to enter
Tired of always trying to find car keys, house keys, etc.? One solution would be to do as this guy and implant an RFID chip in your hand! Crazy? Brilliant? You decide! (VIA A Complete Waste of Time)
|| JM, 7:39 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

What Happening Here?

Krugman: What's Going On?
"Democratic societies have a hard time dealing with extremists in their midst. The desire to show respect for other people's beliefs all too easily turns into denial: nobody wants to talk about the threat posed by those whose beliefs include contempt for democracy itself.....Before he saw the polls, Tom DeLay declared that "one thing that God has brought to us is Terri Schiavo, to help elevate the visibility of what is going on in America." Now he and his party, shocked by the public's negative reaction to their meddling, want to move on. But we shouldn't let them. The Schiavo case is, indeed, a chance to highlight what's going on in America."
|| JM, 7:38 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Get Happy

The Happy Poster Project (VIA J-Walk)
A fun link, that at the very least might put a smile on your face. Who knows, you might even be inspired to download, print, and post these in public like some folks have already done.
|| JM, 7:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, March 28, 2005


On This Day: TMI
This was an anniversary that I almost missed. Way before TMI became an acronym for "too much information" it was shorthand for Three Mile island, which became well known on this date in 1979 when it suffered a partial meltdown. And I was lucky enough to be living close to the plant when it happened.

It was a normal day, and I had gone for my morning run on a road that ironically took me past a point at the top of a hill where the plant was clearly visible. Up until that day the sight of TMI in the distance was something I always liked to see. Later in the day, I flipped on the TV, and hear the news of "the event". The media message at that point was along the lines of "remain calm; all is well". That would change.

Soon, uncertainty and fear became the order of the day. Details began to emerge that quickly exposed that this was bigger than we were first led to believe. The fact that The China Syndrome was in theaters probably didn't help the mood. There was talk of evacuation of the immediate area; I was living just outside of the evacuation radius but I didn't find that of too much comfort. The idea that we might have to leave, perhaps never to come back was a pretty sobering thought. My boss (who lived within the radius) called me and said he wasn't waiting until the authorities made up their mind, and this seemed like a good time to visit his daughter in Virginia. There went my "exit strategy".

Eventually, things got sorted out, but you knew that. But for two days there were many uneasy and nervous people. Like many "crisis" moments, in retrospect they seem less serious than they appear at the time. The biggest surprise to me now is that It seems like it was only yesterday.
|| JM, 7:24 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Men in black capes!

Mr. Snitch
Mr. Snitch analyzes the "coming-out" stories from the movies that will soon be in the theaters giving us the back story about both Batman and Darth Vader. A hilarious comparison of similarities and differences. Also, a similar treatment for Batman vs. Bayonne! And another hilarious (and potentially NSFW) piece about anal douche.
|| JM, 7:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Bumper Sticker Wisdom

  • The proctologist called...they found your head.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don’t have any film.
  • I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
  • Don’t like my driving? Then quit watching me.
  • Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
  • Hang up and drive!!
  • || JM, 7:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
    Lenny Bruce
    || JM, 7:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Real Life Vs. The Myth

    The MILF Myth
    A cute piece by Uncle Melon who exposes the MILFs of network TV, and just how unrealistic the "Loser Comic + Young Hot Chick" casting is in comparison to real life.
    || JM, 7:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Who Ya Gonna Call?

    Pop songs as outliner lists (VIA
    This guy has come up with an interesting way to reformat song lyrics. Here is the Ghostbusters theme song in list format. This also has the potential of then becoming a Powerpoint presentation!
    • Things I ain't afraid of:
      • no ghost

    • Strange things in the neighbourhood (partial list):
      • seeing things running through head
      • invisible man sleeping in bed

    • Things that make me feel good:
      • bustin'

    • Who you gonna call:
      • Ghostbusters
      • I can't hear you
      • Louder
    || JM, 7:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 27, 2005

    Assorted Easter Links

    Church Sign Generator
    Easter Bunny Gets Pummeled
    Chocolate bunnies vs. Peeps
    I said a hip hop and I don't stop
    Bizarre Easter Tradition
    7813 Easter Eggs
    Easter Super-Fun Candy Balls!
    Maureen Dowd: The Vatican Code
    How Easter Works
    An Easter Message
    || JM, 9:00 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love."
    Mother Teresa
    || JM, 8:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Happy Easter

    || JM, 8:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    To Boldly Go

    Fame Audit: William Shatner
    I hate doing 2 William Shatner related posts in one week, but this is amusing enough to have me throw caution to the winds.
    || JM, 8:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, March 26, 2005

    Link Dump

    I almost didn't get to post today. I purchased a new shampoo and I was stuck in the shower in an endless loop (SHOWER...RINSE...REPEAT). No, seriously it's just too darn nice outside and real life beckons. But a few quick links to satisfy the "addiction".

    A nice bit of news that tells us "Polls Indicate Significant Drop in Support For Bush". Perhaps people are finally waking up and noticing that the emperor has no clothing. But I thought that people had come to their senses before...then the election results proved me wrong. Let's hope that this trend continues.

    Most of this probably stems from the whole Terri Schiavo political posturing mess, but there are so many reasons not to be happy about what is going on right now. I just wish that the "reset button" could be hit and that this whole situation could have been dealt with privately and with dignity. The media frenzy and our bizarre fascination with this case has to have made what is an incredibly difficult situation even more unbearable for the family. That being said, a few other views of this tragedy:

    Get Your War On: The Culture Of Life
    Behind Life-and-Death Fight, a Rift That Began Years Ago
    Terri's tube, morals, lies, and justice
    On come the clowns
    || JM, 11:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "All we have is here and now. That's why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution."
    Ellen DeGeneres
    || JM, 11:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, March 25, 2005

    Why Does The Lizard Cross The Road?

    We Break For Salamanders
    Capistrono has it's swallows, Assateague has it's ponies, and in New Jersey apparently we have salamanders. Horny little salamanders that are going to run across the highway this weekend to try and "get some". The latest update can be found here. As much as I'd love to see it I'm afraid I'm going to have to take a pass on viewing it this year.
    || JM, 7:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Game Boy-Oh-Boy

    Ah, the excuse I needed to cool my heels and quell my lust for the PSP. But thanks to Metafilter a link to satisfy both my video game craving and some sexual ones as well. "Sexual Moments In Video Game History" is probably not safe for "G" rated viewing....obviously. And another NSF link to an inappropriate logo thanks to Fark.
    || JM, 7:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "There is only a finger's difference between a wise man and a fool."
    Diogenes of Sinope
    || JM, 7:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Soylent Chili

    Finger Food
    This had all the earmarks of being an urban legend, but according to Snopes it's true! It's reassuring that they were able to hose things down and reopen the restaurant later in the day, although for some reason they were out of chili.
    || JM, 7:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, March 24, 2005

    PSP & Tech Lust

    PSP 101: Everything you need to know about the PlayStation Portable
    Great; it seems like just yesterday that my "tech lust" was satisfied with my acquisition of an iPod. But there always seems to be "the next thing". Looks like a winner, but I'll drag my feet and hope that my enthusiasm cools off. Speaking of winners, a cute story. The wife has discovered that you can turn the Pepsi bottles and see if your bottle has a "free iTunes song" cap or a "try again" message. She's been screening the Pepsi inventory in the cafeteria at work until yesterday when one of the "worker-bees" ask her to stop, which I'm sure she won't.
    || JM, 9:32 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "It is never too late to become what you might have been."
    George Eliot
    || JM, 9:30 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Right Wing Stuff

    Maureen Dowd: DeLay, Deny and Demagogue
    " Are the Republicans so obsessed with maintaining control over all branches of government, and are the Democrats so emasculated about not having any power, that they are willing to turn the nation into a wholly owned subsidiary of the church?

    The more dogma-driven activists, self-perpetuating pols and ratings-crazed broadcast media prattle about "faith," the less we honor the credo that a person's relationship with God should remain a private matter.

    As the Bush White House desperately maneuvers in Iraq to prevent the new government from being run according to the dictates of religious fundamentalists, it desperately maneuvers here to pander to religious fundamentalists who want to dictate how the government should be run.

    Maybe President Bush should spend less time preaching about spreading democracy around the world and more time worrying about our deteriorating democracy."

    And some recent polling results that suggest that "the mainstream" seems to disagree with the way the right wing has embraced and exploited the Schiavo tragedy.
    || JM, 9:29 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    McSweeney's: Reviews Of New Food
  • Ballpark Franks (24 pack): That Michael Jordan sure knows his beef, pork, and turkey byproducts.
  • Deer Park Natural Spring Water: Try it. You'll like it. It tastes like nothing. Not even a hint of deer feces.
  • || JM, 9:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 23, 2005

    Signature Prank

    The Credit Card Prank II
    Every time you make a credit card purchase, they're supposed to match your signature against the one on the back of your card. This dude noticed that it seldom happens, and decided to see how far he could push it. His original efforts have been on the web for a long time, but he has done a few new "experiments" that are quite amusing. (VIA Everything isn't Under Control)
    || JM, 8:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If a man is standing alone in the woods and says he still wrong?"
    || JM, 8:53 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Ancient Wisdom

    Chinese Proverbs
    "A good fortune may forbode a bad luck, which may in turn disguise a good fortune."
    ("Do not overjoy over good fortune and saddened over a bad luck. There are always the unforeseeable turns for the better or worse.")

    "Add legs to the snake after you have finished drawing it."
    ("Do something that is totally unnecessary and spoil what you already have done."

    "Pick up a sesame seed but lose sight of a watermelon."
    ("Concentrate on small matters to the expense of more important ones.")
    || JM, 8:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Dog Music

    Pet Sounds: Sounds To Make Dogs Happy
    A new CD for music loving dogs just hit the market. This article reveals that songs featuring the word "no" are not that popular among dog listeners. One of the hits on the album includes "I Love Food". A follow-up album is rumored to contain the song "Can I Smell Your Butt?"
    || JM, 8:50 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Now For A Word From Our Sponsor

    I Feel Great!
    Why don't these have the same effect on me? A funny commercial, in the event you need a commercial or humor fix.
    || JM, 8:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quiz Time

    Famous Leader Test
    In as little as 9 questions (or up to 45 for those with a longer attention attention span) you can determine what famous leader you are similar to. Pardon me, while I go plan world dominance.
    || JM, 8:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, March 22, 2005

    Happy Birthday

    Not that I'm a geek or anything, but I couldn't let the day pass without noting that today is James T. Kirk's birthday! It also gives me an excuse to link to The Standardized Should I Stalk William Shatner Test?. And you may find a visit to The Klingon Language Institute helpful.

    And I can't miss the chance to plug the album "Has Been" , which really is fantastic, even if the thought of an album by William Shattner doesn't sound like such a good idea. But despite me being a big fan of Boston Legal, these are a bit much.
    || JM, 6:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month."
    Henry Van Dyke
    || JM, 6:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Foolish Stuff

    Jest in Time
    Tales of the truly gullible; stuff submitted to Snopes to verify if it is true. A ton of really funny material! (VIA Waxy) My personal favorite:
    Well, is this true or not??? HELP!

    Bush and the Queen at London Heathrow, a 300-foot long red carpet is stretched out to Air Force One and Mr. Bush strides to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London where they board an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white matching horses. As they ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking sideways and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all is going well.

    But suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous, earth-rending, eye-smarting blast of gastronomic flatulence ever heard in the British Empire, including Bermuda, Tortola and other islands. It shakes the coach.

    Uncomfortable, but under control, the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decides that's ridiculous. She turns to Mr. Bush and explains, "Mr. President, please accept myregrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

    George W. Bush, ever the gentleman, replies, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."
    || JM, 6:39 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    Curse Words
    In the event you need to blow off steam, some fictional curse words to suit every need!
    || JM, 6:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 21, 2005

    Employee of the Month

    The Joy Of Tech
    "Unfortunately, he couldn't tell anyone why he won Employee of the Month."
    || JM, 7:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Back In Black

    One Good Move
    Lewis Black does some of the best stuff on TV every week on The Daily Show. His rage is directed towards the stupidity that frustrates us all. Well worth a look if you've missed it.
    || JM, 7:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Deja Vu

    The 14 characteristics of Fascism
  • Powerful and Continuing Nationalism
  • Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights
  • Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause
  • Supremacy of the Military
  • Rampant Sexism
  • Controlled Mass Media
  • Obsession with National Security
  • Religion and Government are Intertwined
  • Corporate Power is Protected
  • Labor Power is Suppressed
  • Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts
  • Obsession with Crime and Punishment
  • Rampant Cronyism and Corruption
  • Fraudulent Elections

  • OK, why do most of these sound vaguely familiar and remind me of recent news items?
    || JM, 7:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued."
    || JM, 7:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Biting My Tongue

    I've purposely avoided sharing any thoughts about the tragic situation surrounding Terri Schiavo, since I largely believe that this is a family matter that frankly is none of my business. Too bad the Republicans who are jumping on this bandwagon don't feel the same way. They are making this yet another forum for the "pro-life base" to take center stage and milk whatever political mileage that they can from a completely inappropriate situation. I'm so glad that they have all the really big issues solved, so that they can now deal with this and the pressing needs of baseball.

    It's not a surprise that DeLay would wrap himself up in this, since perhaps it might take our minds off his own transgressions and problems. He keeps making these grandiose statements about the "value of life", yet when it comes to social programs or foreign policy will we see the same level of concern?

    It's time to stop exploiting this. I have tremendous sympathy for her parents, and respect their feelings, but let the rabble rousing stop. If I truly believed that this was about Terri Schiavo, it wouldn't bother me (as much) although I still think this is a family issue; but after the revelation of the "talking points" it's clear that this is posturing for the next election, which is shameful and makes this even more tragic and outrageous.
    || JM, 7:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 20, 2005

    McDevelopment with a side of rant

    I got in a run yesterday in an effort to get back to my old fitness level. It's been a long time since I've let myself get this out of shape, but in all fairness it's not entirely my fault. Last summer I was walking around barefoot in a room with hardwood floors and got a splinter. The splinter then led to an alternating series of bouts with a planters wart and a knee injury which prevented me from maintaining my usual running routine until recently, when I started to slowly head down the path to fitness.

    My run was my longest one this year, and ironically it was the route that I used to take as my "short" runs in the past. You can imagine my surprise when I found five new McMansions where there had been more modest dwellings only last summer. I had seen two of them coming, since the "for sale" sign on the older house was from a real estate company that is known for tearing down old houses and putting up new ones. Many times they take modest houses on big (and some not so big) pieces of land and put two where one had been before. They thoughtfully don't put windows on the side of the house so you aren't reminded just how damn close your new neighbor is to your home!

    Although I'm glad that I live in an area that is desirable enough to warrant new development, I regret seeing the neighborhood stripped of diversity (since it's the older "pre-development" homes near "the tower") that usually are the prime candidates. It also saddens me to think that homes, which would make nice starter homes for young families continue to disappear in favor of these cookie cutter monstrosities that are probably not built well enough to last as long as what they have replaced. But, hey; we live in a throw-away society, so why not include housing on the list of disposable commodities as well?

    I was kicking myself, that I didn't have the foresight to document the "before" and "after" with pictures, but once again, that's hardly an original idea. When Googling the topic, I see that it's been done before. But I imagine I'll be given more opportunities to document this in the future, so I'll have my camera ready.

    Since I'm just rambling on about development I have to mention another local landmark, the old Ford plant which they are in the process of tearing down. Reflecting current trends where companies shift production away from rustbelt states to other areas, Ford decided to shutter and walk away from their factory after 56 years and a production run of 7 million vehicles, taking 900 jobs and a $70 million payroll out of the local economy. It's hard to not feel a sense of loss for those who lost their jobs, and I just hate seeing us turn our back on the segment of our economy that actually "makes stuff". I'm not sure what happened to the guy who just a day or so ago was rambling on about the necessity of accepting and embracing change? Do I have a point to make? Probably not.

    I find it odd that while the demolition process continues they have erected a big fence around the entire property within the existing chain link fence. The new fence is apparently just a visual barrier to prevent the prying eyes of the public from seeing what is going on. This probably was a good idea on the Rt. 1 side, where rubbernecking motorists on a busy highway would have added even more fender benders to this treacherous stretch. But when they did it on the back streets, you really have to wonder what their motivations were. Were they somehow ashamed of the process? Someday, hopefully something good will emerge here but for now it's just a reminder that change isn't as easy as "Sim City" portrays it.
    || JM, 4:02 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "In America today you can murder land for private profit. You can leave the corpse for all to see, and nobody calls the cops."
    Paul Brooks
    || JM, 4:00 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, March 19, 2005

    That's Hot....(not)

    The 30 least hot things you can say to a naked woman (VIA MetaFilter)
  • "Good morning Cheryl. I mean, um, Sharon."
  • "Is it okay with you if I take this slow? I haven't done this in, like, fifteen years."
  • "I can't stop touching you. Stupid OCD."
  • "Can we do that again? I forgot to hit record on my camera."
  • "Waking up with you is even better than sleeping with you, because you steal all the covers while sleeping."
  • "Let's play hooky today. You won't get in trouble -- I am your principal, after all"
  • || JM, 7:18 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"
    Theodor Geisel
    || JM, 7:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Worth A Look

    Self-Portrait Day
    Tired of the same old faces and websites? This one may be for you!
    || JM, 7:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Perhaps I Need To Reconsider

    My Retirement Plan
    Living on a cruise ship doesn't sound all that shabby, but I'm probably headed for the Super 8! But if I go for the cruise ship, this might come in handy.
    || JM, 7:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, March 18, 2005

    Dog Thoughts

    Glamour Dog: Puppy Purse
    Today's weird link, courtesy of Cynical-C Blog. I'm not sure who might be buying these, but there are days when it might come in handy for my mutt. I've just let her out for the third time in the last hour and a half, and she is being very needy today. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of thought and consideration that she takes in picking out "the perfect spot" to crap in. "Here it, I've found, that's not right either....ah, yes...this is it!" Sometimes you wish they could talk, to know what's going through their little heads, but perhaps we would be better off being spared hearing some of this. Besides, it's more fun to fill in the blanks.

    And if you are looking to "get away from it all" you might want to plan your next vacation here. (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)
    || JM, 10:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants."
    Johnny Depp
    || JM, 10:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Rambling Thoughts

    When I stop and think about things I've often taken for granted as always being around, the list gets quite long rather quickly. Good friends, clean air, unlimited natural resources, government that has the best interests of the people at it's heart, a full head of hair, and many other things seemed like they were a given and that they would always be there. Experience has taught me that this isn't always the case.

    If you are thinking that this might be one of meaningful contemplative reflections on the nature of life, you are obviously at the wrong spot. No, this was just a rambling prelude to my lament of the passing of the five and ten stores. All the "big names" (F. W. Woolworth, G.C. Murphy, and McCrory's....must resist the temptation to go off on a tangent about Pia Zadora) all sort of fell by the wayside around the same time. Some remnants remain, such as corporate heir Foot Locker and the classic NYC's Woolworth Building, but that's about it. In today's world 99¢ Stores are the new Woolworth's, which may or may not be a bad thing.

    Every time we are faced with major cultural changes at work (or even minor procedural ones), there is inevitably someone who reacts with shock and horror, since "it's always been that way" which makes me crazy. Change is something few of us embrace, and most fear even when the results can be positive. The ability to react, change, and grow is a necessary attribute, even-though it isn't always easy. The side of the road is littered with the carcasses of companies who failed to adapt and keep up with the times. I get customers who take great pleasure in telling me "this place isn't what it used to be". Usually I'm thinking to myself, "You're right; go shop at Gimbels!".
    || JM, 10:21 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Heads Up

    Idiotic, stupid. To act like a moron. From the popular insult "to have your head up your ass". But now you too can order your own asshat! I'm beginning to think I should order one for the folks at Blogger. It's so frustrating trying to get on their servers; I'm beginning to think I should ask for a refund...oh wait; it's free. But at the very least, would it be too much trouble to add the word "blogger" to your spell checker?
    || JM, 9:50 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, March 17, 2005


    The Chinglish Files
    A far too funny link (as found on The Presurfer).
    "Chinglish: The humorous version of English that appears (often in instructions for assembling or using products) after a translation from the original Chinese (or any other language) fails to come across in "normal" English. The Chinglish Files are a way of poking fun at how difficult our flawed English language can be to translate at times. It is not intended as a dig at the intelligence or linguistic capabilities of other nations."
    || JM, 9:51 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Holiday Poem

    Limerick Savant: Wearing o' the green
    It's the day to abandon routine
    And forego your habitual mien.
    For, to honor the saint,
    You must act like you ain't
    And drink 'til you're sallow and green!
    || JM, 9:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Life does not consist mainly--or even largely--of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head."
    Mark Twain
    || JM, 9:45 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Be Afraid

    Viewer Beware
    It's one thing when you have fake news along the lines of "The Daily Show", since you know that what you are getting is fake. It's something else entirely when you have W and company spoon feeding propaganda to so-called legitimate media to pass off as news. The Post looks at these less than savory practices.

    What bothers me is the focus of the mainstream media that continues to serve up endless coverage of high profile crimes, but has little time or focus on the truely important stories. We have in general been willing partners in the gradual dumbing down of the news, but at what point will the public wake up and see that they need to be more involved in the process by knowing what's going on? It's always been easier to buy the slickly presented snake oil as served up by Bush and his minions, but when will they wake up and realize that we've been sold a pig-in-a-poke?

    Maureen Dowd looks at the chief purveyor of pablum in her column today:
    "He started his presidency with a tentative demeanor and a chip on his shoulder. Now, even with the Middle East still roiling and the Democrats still spoiling for a fight over Social Security, W. feels as if he's won a lot of hands and has a big pile of chips.....He's confident enough to send two unilateralist hawks who specialize in blowing off the globe to run global institutions that epitomize multilateralism.....This is a White House that never makes up facts to suit its purposes or sell its programs. It serves its propaganda baldfaced, with no hint of its real agenda."
    || JM, 9:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quiz Time

    tuesday is chooseday
    A pretty cute quiz, even if today is Thursday:
      Would you rather:
    1. be responsible for an oil tanker crash off the coast of alaska OR cause a rebellion in a developing nation?
    2. get locked out of your house while naked OR throw up all over yourself in the middle of an important meeting?
    3. wake up to find your feet have grown two sizes OR hair all over your back that grows back every night?
    4. eat nothing but cheese for a week OR only chinese food for two months?

    Ok, this is easier than I thought it would be. 1) I'd have to pick the rebellion, with the hope that it would lead to something good. (God, that sounds like something the Bushies would say!) 2) Locked out of the house naked would be the easy way out. Having streaked in the 70's makes this no big deal. 3) I'd pick the back hair; buying big shoes would be a pain in the butt. Besides, the hair might protect my fair skin from the sun. 4) I love Chinese food; where's the problem?

    And yet another quiz to determine if you are Yankee or Dixie? This quiz automatically interprets your answers and tells you if you are a yankee or in the Dixie rating. I scored "60% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category." I guess I shouldn't be surprised since I grew up near The Mason-Dixon Line
    || JM, 9:34 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 16, 2005


    It amazes me how many times this happens. A vague idea pops into my peabrain which I think would lead to a good post, and then I see somebody else running with the same idea. Since their execution is usually better, the idea goes into the recycle bin of half baked notions. The recent post from g_pi is a classic case in point. She makes some great points and raises some interesting questions far better than I ever could.

    My lack of having anything to say has seldom stopped me from throwing a few links up on an almost daily basis. My original motivations for doing this have long since proved invalid, and I now continue for my own amusement, but fear that I am really doing this strictly as an addiction. I've never aspired to writing since I have no skills, but I try this almost as an attempt to shed my introvert persona. However those emotionally open and truly honest posts are few and far between.

    I've had a few bursts of inspiration or reflection in the past, or at least have stumbled upon quirky and amusing links to post but recently I've been unamused, unfocused, and uninspired. This too will pass. I'm beginning to think that I've got Adult ADD, but then again I'm the type of person who sees a profile of a disease on the web or TV and is convinced that I've got it! Last week I saw a piece on TV and was convinced I had the same disease that killed David Bloom. This week, every time a segment comes on TV about disease, I just lunge for the remote and change the channel. So far, that is working.

    Until true inspiration strikes me, I'll continue to throw up links, much like a monkey throwing his own feces, except minus the stench. If anyone stumbles upon them and is either enlightened (unlikely) or amused (almost as unlikely), then that's just a bonus!
    || JM, 1:38 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense."
    Jonathan Swift
    || JM, 1:34 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Good News Perhaps

    Apple doing a two-button mouse?
    If the folks at Engadget can be believed, Apple is going to come out with a two-button mouse! What took them so long? The biggest problem that I had in migrating to a Mac was the absence of the "right click" that I've grown accustomed to, followed by the keyboard shortcuts using the "apple" key, instead of the "ctrl" key that I'm used to using. Minor adjustments, to say the least. And the windows two-button mouse with scroll-wheel that I use works just fine, even-though the sight of me using it makes the wife cringe, since it ruins the Zen of the Mac.
    || JM, 1:33 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    An interesting search engine for books, music, or DVD's. It's a well done front end for Amazon, but still worth a look!
    || JM, 1:31 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Bad News

    Karen Hughes Sells Brand America
    Another curious choice, white-bread Karen Hughes to sell our image to the Muslim world. But in a sense, that's just consistent with so many other appointments like putting a man who favors torture in charge of the justice department and putting someone who doesn't believe in diplomacy in place as the UN ambassador. Not to mention having an unethical leader in charge of the House Republicans, with little public outcry (not that it's Bush's fault, but it's GOP business as usual). And now W nominates Wolfowitz to the World bank. Let's hope that he isn't able to do to the world economy what his neo-con wisdom has done for Iran.

    "America's image in the world will depend not on branding but on actions." But our actions so consistently reflect our arrogance and show us not caring about how we are perceived, and not caring about the plight of others in this country and abroad. It's time we stop just talking a good game, and start doing!
    || JM, 1:29 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, March 15, 2005

    Stick It!

    Stick It To Bush!
    Don't let exasperation and resentment build! Small enough to keep with you at all times, so you are prepared when the mood strikes. Pins are not included.
    || JM, 10:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century."
    William Lyon Phelps
    || JM, 10:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Don't Bug Me

    A Few Tips to Cope With Life's Annoyances
    "When Seth Shepsle goes to Starbucks, he orders a "medium" because "grande" - as the coffee company calls the size, the one between big and small - annoys him....When subscription cards fall from magazines Andrew Kirk is reading, he stacks them in a pile at the corner of his desk. At the end of each month, he puts them in the mail but leaves them blank so that the advertiser is forced to pay the business reply postage without gaining a new subscriber.

    Life can involve big hardships, like being fired or smashing up your car. There is only so much you can do about them. But far more prevalent - and perhaps in the long run just as insidious - are life's many little annoyances.... These, you can do something about."
    || JM, 10:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Can't We All Just Get Along?

    The Racial Slur Database
    "Helping make the world a better place", this site lists 2,356 racial slurs and features a search feature as well. Please, for educational purposes only! (VIAGrow-a-brain)
    || JM, 10:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    On This Day:

    Wikipedia: March 15th
    Proving that I truly have nothing to say, I offer the following Wikipedia tidbit, although the important event here appears to be Eva Longoria's birthday!
  • Julius Caesar, General of the Roman Republic, is assassinated by a group of Roman senators.
  • 1493 - Christopher Columbus returns to Spain after his first trip to the Americas.
  • 1781 - American Revolutionary War: Battle of Guilford Courthouse - Near present-day Greensboro, North Carolina, 1,900 British troops under General Charles Cornwallis defeat an American force numbering 4,400.
  • 1820 - Maine becomes the 23rd U.S. state.
  • 1935 - Judd Hirsch, actor
  • 1940 - Phil Lesh of The Grateful Dead
  • 1941 - Mike Love, musician ("The Beach Boys")
  • Fabio, model
  • 1975 - Eva Longoria,actress (The Young and the Restless, Desperate Housewives)
  • || JM, 10:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 14, 2005

    Silly Stuff

    Something Awful: Comic Book Chaos
    Mix classic comic book covers, Photoshop, and the Something Awful forum board members, and you're sure to come up with some wacky stuff. Maybe someday my Photoshop skills will improve to this level. Until then, my hat is off to SA who usually has some of the best silly stuff on the net!
    || JM, 10:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
    Mae West
    || JM, 10:29 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Now You Can Too!

    How to write like conservatives
    " You too could be a syndicated columnist dumbing down political discourse in the pages of America's newspapers..... Get your history book. Throw it out the window. Now, as an exercise in Academic Freedom, write your own history book. Do not include references to separation of church and state, deism, slavery, the Great Depression, McCarthyism, the Vietnam War, Watergate or the Clinton surplus. Include only one chapter on the 1990s and instead of writing it yourself, simply copy and paste the entire text of the Ken Starr Report.

    Now get out your Bible. With your Sharpie, black out all the sections which do not specifically mention homosexuality. Now print the remaining passages on a three-by-five inch note card. This is your new Bible. Have it laminated.

    Take quotes out of context to support ridiculous claims. Lie incessantly. When people object to your methods and disagree with your point of view, attack their patriotism....."
    (VIA Cynical-C Blog)
    || JM, 10:27 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Spin Zone

    History for Dummies: The troubling popularity of The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History
    Several weeks ago, a history book called The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History appeared on the best-seller charts. It presents a brisk tour of U.S. history from Colonial to Clintonian times, filtered through a lens of far-right dogma, circa 1939.

    Politics has always colored the ways that people interpret the past, but The Politically Incorrect Guide politicizes history in a new way, reducing all scholarly inquiry to a mere stance in the culture wars. "Everything (well, almost everything) you know about American history is wrong," states the book's back cover, "because most textbooks and popular history books are written by left-wing academic historians who treat their biases as fact." Just the kind of objective view that the neo-cons are comfortable with.

    And another interesting look at how the thought police spin the news appeared in yesterday's NY Times. Well worth a look if you missed it: Under Bush, a New Age of Prepackaged TV News.
    || JM, 10:25 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Best Holiday!

    Happy Holiday
    Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Now, a holiday for the guys!
    || JM, 10:19 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 13, 2005

    Baby Manipulations

    "That's one CRAZY mean baby!!!"
    Another internet phenomena, as found on The Presurfer. It started with the posting of a baby picture, then mix in Photoshop and watch the fun begin!
    || JM, 9:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
    Steven Wright
    || JM, 9:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Baby Soap

    Feto Soap
    I'm speechless; really. You get a "theme" going and then you run into something like this. They claim no babies were harmed and that it's just clay, but it still seems in pretty poor taste.
    || JM, 9:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Baby Names

    Small Fry
    Various words for found on Vitamin Q via Grow-a-brain
    || JM, 9:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tasty Snack

    Baby Eating Strengthens Social Security
    "Now we know for sure that this whole "60 stops in 60 days" campaign is patterned on a, well, an actual campaign: He's eating babies again. He likes them bite-sized. You know, it does sort of help make the point about how few of the younger generation will be around to support seniors in the future...(VIA Wonkette)
    || JM, 9:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, March 12, 2005

    Quiz Time

    The BIG PENIS Test
    "A revolutionary way to determine the size of your penis. Go ahead... see if you can earn some bragging rights." (VIA Catch)
    || JM, 10:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
    Rodney Dangerfield
    || JM, 9:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tasty Snack or Buddy Cops?

    McSweeneys: Food and Drink Combinations That Would Make a Horrible Afterschool Snack but a Great Buddy Cop Team
    Pickles and Mad Dog
    Marmite and Everclear
    Scrapple and Bosco
    Eggs and Falstaff
    Salami and Zima
    Chichirrones and Sangria
    Skittles and Hot Dog Water
    || JM, 9:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    What's In Your Wallet?

    Swapatorium: What's in Your Wallet?
    An interesting time capsule found on J-Walk featuring the contents of a 1950's wallet, including credit cards back when they were made of paper.

    And in a similar vein, you can root through the contents of women's handbags at Bag Ladies, as found on a link at Bacon and Eh's. Or you could check out What's Inside Jeremy's Wallet.
    || JM, 9:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Iraq News

    The Onion: Bush Announces Iraq Exit Strategy
    Almost a year after the cessation of major combat and a month after the nation's first free democratic elections, President Bush unveiled the coalition forces' strategy for exiting Iraq. "I'm pleased to announce that the Department of Defense and I have formulated a plan for a speedy withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq," Bush announced Monday morning. "We'll just go through Iran."
    || JM, 9:44 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, March 11, 2005

    The Drugs I Need

    The Drugs I Need
    I hate doing another "me too" post pointing to a link that everybody else has posted, but this little video about the prescription drug industry is too funny (and true) to ignore!
    || JM, 9:37 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself."
    Jessamyn West
    || JM, 9:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    No, this isn't a post about me again, despite the title. My search for the ideal RSS reader has come to an end, at least for now. I had been using AmphetaDesk for the longest time, which I had tweaked to suit my needs. But I hadn't found a Mac application that I was happy with until now. Bloglines has quickly emerged as my new favorite!

    And if you haven't used Google News check out it's new enhancement. They have added the ability to customize the layout and the content. It's been my start page for ages, but this makes it even better, since you can add your own news topics or web sites for Google to search and serve up. My only frustration is that I've been using this for at least 3 years and the site still says "beta". Seems like they've got it right to me!
    || JM, 9:33 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Meat!

    Sixteen pair of Frog Legs
    Since I have a tendency to "beat a dead horse", I couldn't avoid one more meat post. "Folks in the Ozarks have enjoyed this unique delicacy for years. Now you can cook up a "mess" for your family and friends. We like them best breaded and pan fried. Frog Legs are individually packaged by the pair and shipped frozen. Includes cooking instructions."
    And yes, it does taste like chicken!
    || JM, 9:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, March 10, 2005

    You've Been Warned!

    Swanksigns - dedicated to the art of mocking public works
    Some amusing signs along with others that will leave you scratching your head wondering what the heck were they trying to say. A bit slow to load, even with a fast connection, but still worth a look. (VIA Everything isn't Under Control)
    || JM, 7:11 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
    Frederick L Collins
    || JM, 7:07 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Meaty Post

    Monday was a beautiful, almost spring like day which proved a be just a tease, since the last few days have been a return to the deep freeze. It seems like every-time I can finally see my lawn emerge from under the snow, a new snow storm rolls in to freshen it up and obliterate all of the emerging green.

    Naturally all the frigid weather got me thinking of summer, which got me turning my thoughts to "da shore" as it's referred to around here. And as soon as I think of the shore, I have a strange craving for a "Taylor Pork Roll" sandwich. Some people refer to it as "Taylor Ham" but it is largely a NJ phenomena probably not available outside of the Northeast . (You CAN order it online if you live in parts where it's not sold.) Not really ham in the traditional sense, more like Spam without as much fat , it comes in a roll (duh) looking like salami or bologna but having a tangy taste and consistency all it's own.

    The reason that I recall this tasty treat now comes from the annual pilgrimage to 'da shore for vacation we did each year when I was a kid . There were usually four families that loaded up the cars and traveled caravan style from PA to Jersey...usually with one of the fathers driving with his turn-signal on for about half of the trip. Once we hit our destination and got the bags inside, the first thing we did was to jump on our bikes and hit the boardwalk and peddle our little butts to a little restaurant that served up Taylor Pork Roll sandwiches, which we washed down with "Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer". When I visited there a few years ago, I was pleasantly surprised to find the restaurant still there , but like most childhood memories, it just wasn't the same.

    Not that I have an obsession about weird meat , but this line of thought then got me thinking of (and craving) another regional processed meat product; scrapple. All the stuff not good enough to be used for anything else gets ground up and mixed with cornmeal, and formed in the shape of a brick, which is then sliced and fried. Sounds ugly, but it's actually tasty, although an acquired taste, I'm sure.

    And since I've wandered down this path, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention another regional dish that sounds even more disgusting, hog maw, or stuffed pig stomach. It sounds nasty, looks frightening when served, but really isn't bad. Again, an acquired taste.
    || JM, 7:00 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Shield Your Eyes

    Why I Hate Tables
    Found this link on Grow-a-brain where they listed it as HTML art. Sure, I'll consider it art if you consider Carrot Top an "entertainer".
    || JM, 6:59 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Lowering Expectations

    Can sci-fi fans face the future?
    I hate to sound like a geek, but I had been looking forward to seeing how they would wrap things up with the mess that has been Star Trek: Enterprise. They were finally "getting it right" this season, but got cancelled anyhow. After reading this quote from Jolene Blaock, it makes me think that the spoilers I've seen must be true: "We started out with 13 million viewers on the pilot, and we somehow managed to drive 11 million of them away".....There is an awkward silence when the subject of the final episode is broached. "I don't know where to begin with that one," she finally stammers. "The final episode is ... appalling."

    And speaking of ST, a good article on Wil Wheaton who will be on tonight's CSI. When I was reading the paper this morning, I almost didn't look at the article, since the picture looked like Winona Rider....I'll avoid a "seperated at birth" post since I like Wil and his blog.
    || JM, 6:58 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, March 09, 2005

    Look..Up In The Sky...

    Superman Origin Comics
    Not the real deal, but an incredibly funny revision as well as a similar treatment for Batman, and other funny stuff as well. (VIA Blogmonkey)
    || JM, 7:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
    Max Eastman
    || JM, 7:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Dog Blogs

    How can you go wrong with these? A few well done doggie pages to perk up your day!
    The Doggy Woggy Photo Blog
    The Terriorists
    The Dawg Blawg
    Charlie's Blog
    Splash's Training Diary
    Ditto III - Daily Blog
    If These Dogs Could Talk...
    Freddie's Blog: Ruff, ruff, ruff!
    || JM, 7:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, March 08, 2005


    The Art Of Demotivation
    "The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower."
    Some "inspiring" anti-motivation posters, to get you in the wrong frame of mind!
    || JM, 7:30 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "At first I thought that my life was going around in circles. Then I got to looking closer and it's actually a downward spiral."
    Tom Ryan
    || JM, 7:25 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Beating A Dead Horse

    File Not Found
    After yesterday's post about 404 Error pages, the last thing I need to post is more of the same. But I stumbled upon this one which proved too cute to ignore.
    || JM, 7:23 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Mission Statement

    Mission Statement Generator
    I've been meaning to get around to thanks to Dilbert, I don't have to deal with the burden of a mission statement!
    "It's our responsibility to authoritatively engineer innovative services and collaboratively initiate enterprise-wide opportunities for 100% customer satisfaction." (VIA J-Walk)
    || JM, 7:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Bush names Bolton UN ambassador
    Oh great; my first thought at seeing this was that Bush nominated that lame-o Michael Bolton to be UN ambassador. But Daily Kos had a few choice words about the record of the real nominee John Bolton.:
    "Bolton has harshly disparaged the United Nations in the past. In 1994, for example, he charged, "There's no such thing as the United Nations," saying that "If the U.N. secretary building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference."

    Four years later, he attacked the international body again, saying, "many Republicans in Congress - and perhaps a majority - not only do not care about losing the General Assembly vote but actually see it as a 'make my day' outcome. Indeed, once the vote is lost, and the adverse consequences predicted by the U.N.'s supporters begin to occur, this will simply provide further evidence to many why nothing more should be paid to the U.N. system."

    Another recap of his horrible record via James Poling who points out that he is "an anti-diplomat". And as David Corn puts it "Bush Gives the UN the Finger"

    Perhaps Michael might have been the better choice?
    || JM, 7:13 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, March 07, 2005

    Desktop Views

    Desktop Project
    An online collection of desktop shots, reflecting how one organizes their work environment and providing an insight into the personality of the user. Since I'm a fan of design, and a bit of a voyeur, this site was a must see for me. The screendump above is mine, and not from the site!
    || JM, 7:44 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Did that blood stain get you the special rate?"
    Eddie Sawyer
    || JM, 7:42 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Welcome To Deadwood

    Deadwood Site
    We can only hope that with a new season of Deadwood, that this site is updated to include the current episodes. (UPDATE: it now is and includes a F's to C/S ratio!) But even HBO hasn't updated their site to reflect the new shows. Last night's was a great start to season 2, and let's hope the promise continues....but I don't have a good feeling about Sol's future. And since I missed the credits and can't find it on the web, isn't the "new whore" The Borg Queen?
    || JM, 7:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Unnecessary Frustration

    I find myself beginning to hate Windows. After the ease of using a Mac, the frustrations and hastles that I used to accept and take for granted begin to bug me. On Saturday I was doing some stuff around the house and I decided to delete some applications, and backup some files on the computer in my office. After that, I ran the defrag utility to clean things up. This turned out to be a big mistake, since that process ran well into the evening, only to end with an error message telling me that "your C drive is full" shortly before the whole dang thing crashed. I spent some quality time with Norton on Sunday, which would be great if my name was Kramden, but it turned into a tedious process similar to watching paint dry. I had wanted to milk as much out of that machine as I could, but that stratedgy may not be working out for me. My list of things to get in the near future already included new landscaping, a new TV, and a treadmill, but didn't include another computer.

    What I was hoping to hold out for would be one machine that can function as a Playstation, TiVo, music server, photography center, as well as doing all the basics. Windows Media Center aspires to this but doesn't quite hit the mark yet. I guess my media hub remains a fantasy much like the fantasy of the guilt free weekend with Nicole Kidman. I knew I shouldn't have watched The Peacemaker while I was running those utilities.
    || JM, 7:39 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Not So Great Blogs

    The Absolute Bottom 50 Blogs
    Thank God I didn't make the list! Although many of these hit close to home, I still find them funny....never let it be said that I can't laugh at myself....heck, with most of my jokes that's the only one laughing anyway. A ton of other "bottom 50" lists to peruse as well.

  • AnotherSendentaryHobbyThatKeepsMyGiganticAss-
  • IronicPopCultureReferencesObscuringAnUtter-
  • || JM, 7:37 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, March 06, 2005

    Got A Secret?

    This works on several levels....part voyeurism, part art. Participants were ask to share a secret, regret, fear, desire, or humiliation as long as they hadn't shared it with anyone before. They were ask to put their response on a postcard and "be creative". This website posts the results which are in most cases quite powerful!
    || JM, 10:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The requested URL was not found on the server."
    Old Apache saying
    || JM, 10:13 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Nothing To See Here

    404 errors are something that we've all run across. Some people put more effort into their error messages than others:
    Error 404: Page Not Found
    error 404-Poetry
    Need Glasses?
    Not Found - Wait, Yes It Is....
    Sneaky 404
    The page cannot be f**king displayed
    Imperialistic Dogs 404
    Oh,The Humanity!
    The Porn Cannot Be Displayed
    404 Research Lab
    || JM, 10:11 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Extreme Makeover

    FARK photoshop contest
    "Photoshop the CEO of Federated Department Stores. Difficulty: Not doing the "put something funny in his hands" trick"
    Gee, it's not everyday that FARK has a photoshop contest featuring somebody I know...well; that's a about met? Most of these are probably only funny to me, but I'll throw up the link even-though it will probably be blocked by the filters at work!
    || JM, 10:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Same Old Story

    Republicans vote down military exemption to bankruptcy bill, add loopholes for rich
    " The bankruptcy bill was a gift to big bankers and credit card companies to begin with, in return for copious showers of campaign contributions to our very own elected representatives in Congress. Same old, same old....."
    || JM, 10:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Spread The Facts

    Low Prices At What Cost?
    Join the Wal-Mart Fact Checker Network. You can spread the truth about Wal-Mart, track the facts on your own interactive map, and enter to win $1000 in health care. A few tidbits from the site:
  • "Wal-Mart sales clerks made an average of $8.23 an hour—or $13,861 a year—in 2001. That's nearly $800 below the federal poverty line for a family of three.
  • In Georgia, Wal-Mart employees are six times more likely to rely on state-provided health care for their children than are employees of any other large company.
  • Reliance on public assistance programs in California by Wal-Mart workers costs the state's taxpayers an estimated $86 million annually."
    But heck, it's not just Wal-Mart that engages in outsourcing. Today's NY Times has an interesting (frightening?) story about how the government outsources torture
  • || JM, 10:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Obnoxious Brat

    WOW Report
    I saw this kid on TV the other day and he made me want to puke.....I thought about blogging on the subject, but it never made it out of the "good intentions" phase. Besides, it's so tough to pick on a 9 year old without feeling like a bully. But now that JG did such a nice piece, I don't have to worry!
    "What's worse than listening to a Republican argue politics? Listening to a nine-year-old Republican argue politics. Have you heard of this kid Noah McCullough? If not, you will soon. He's going out on a nationwide tour, acting as a delegate of the conservative lobby group Progress For America. He'll be talking about the benefits of Bush's plan for a change in the system...."
    || JM, 10:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, March 05, 2005

    Slurping Is For The Birds

    The Motorized Ice Cream Cone
    " Takes a licking, keeps cone from dripping! This ingenius patented gadget (US Patent # 5,971,829) automatically turns your ice cream while you lick. No more manually rotating the cone! No drips, no mess! Great for pudding and other desserts. Detachable and dishwasher safe cup."
    (VIA Engadget ).
    || JM, 9:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
    Groucho Marx
    || JM, 9:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Rambling On

    As I was Googling through the blog yesterday to see if I had used a link before, I found myself looking at some of the older entries. Although I've never really been one to "put myself out there" I did notice that I had been doing a few more "personal" entries in the past than I've done recently. I'm not sure why, except that most of the truly emotionally open stuff that I wrote lately, related in one way or another to the recent death of a friend, and I guess that I found that too raw a nerve to expose. I also felt it was in some way less than respectful to his memory by just making it a blog entry. Again, the victory of the delete key.

    But two other basic truths also rear their ugly head. A) I'm a boring guy with not much in terms of excitement going on. I mean, doggie pictures are nice....but how many of them can I post to the blog before it gets boring? (I had a great Kodak moment yesterday, I came down the stairs to find the dog asleep on the sofa....but rather than curled up in a ball....she was sitting upright like a human with her head on the back of the couch. So I ran back upstairs to grab the camera, only to discover that "the wife" had taken out the batteries out of the camera to use for her toothbrush!) Basic truth B) is that it's just so much easier to throw up a few links and view this as my "on-line bookmarks". My goal is to put as little effort into this as possible.....and I think it shows!

    One quick rant before I go....I've already shared my fear of the cartoon versions of foot fungus and the like found on TV commercials. But the commercial I just saw for Dr. Pepper where the music is "Stacey's mom has got it going on!" is equally disturbing in it's own way. I can't believe an advertiser would want to use a song about horny teens in a mini-van who want to bang their friends' mom. Is it because she is a MILF or is it because she gives them Dr. Pepper? Not the usual wholesome image that most soft-drink makers are usually trying to put forth! And we wonder why there are all those stories about teachers sleeping with their teenage students and this similar silliness from MILFord.?(?)!
    || JM, 9:05 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Craigslist: The Final Frontier

    To Boldly Go Where No Post Has Gone Before
    "On Monday a link began popping up at the bottom of many craigslist ads that states "ok to transmit this posting into outer space". ......To honor all the little nerds and nerdettes on craigslist who have watched WAY too many Star Trek episodes and are completely creaming their jeans in anticipation of their ads being TOTALLY READ BY ALIENS!!!, this week we're delving into the extraterrestrial on craigslist…"
    || JM, 9:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Updated: "Who's On First?"

    McSweeneys: Who's On First?
    (A CUSTOMER steps up to a video-store counter with a stack of videos.)
    CASHIER: Hi. Did you find everything you wanted?
    CUSTOMER: (Handing over membership card.) Yes, thanks. (Pause.) When is this one due back?
    CASHIER: The day after tomorrow.
    CUSTOMER: Yeah, when's it due back?
    CASHIER: The day after tomorrow.
    CUSTOMER: Yes. The Day After Tomorrow.
    CASHIER: Right.
    CUSTOMER: Right. When's it due back?
    CASHIER: The day after tomorrow.
    CUSTOMER: I mean the movie. The Day After Tomorrow. When is it due?
    || JM, 9:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, March 04, 2005

    No Scandal Here!

    This Modern World: Nothing to see here
    || JM, 8:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Assorted Fun

    How Old Am I?
    Although this is too similar to "Hot or Not" to be considered original, and there is a "creepy" element to it as well, but I found this to be quite an engaging time-waster!

    How To Do The Things You Shouldn't Do
    A great site that will come in handy in the event I choose to start my own cult, train a monkey, or set up a threesome....and no, it's not what you are thinking! (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)

    Montage-a-Google (VIA Gawker)
    || JM, 8:21 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Curiosity is a delicate little plant which, aside from stimulation, is mainly in need of freedom."
    Albert Einstein
    || JM, 8:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Bad Idea

    What the HELL was I thinking? Perhaps just signing up for a Blogger account on a whim, and picking the name with ZERO amount of thought wasn't such a good idea. But at least I've got lots of company:
    John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog, John's Blog.....and the list propably goes on!
    || JM, 8:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    I'm Not Buying This

    World O' Crap: The President and His Traveling Revival Show
    "The Social Security fight has all the trappings of a Rove campaign: the targeting of key constituencies; the marshalling of the Republican Party apparatus; the enlistment of allies among Democrats; and the encouragement of well-heeled outside supporters, often to mount attacks on the opposition."
    (And as one of the posters commented:)
    He is like the Monorail salesman from the Simpsons....
    Why do this while the deficit mounts?
    You'll all own personal accounts!
    Didn't you use to call them 'private'?
    The system hurts, so we'll revive it!
    What if our investments crash?
    Think of all the extra cash!
    Isn't the system still quite solvent?
    Relax and let your Preznit resolve it!
    I say it's America's only choice,
    Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

    You're doing this without a reason!
    Arrest that man, he's speaking treason!

    || JM, 8:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Founding Principles

    The Nation: Our Godless Constitution
    "It is hard to believe that George Bush has ever read the works of George Orwell, but he seems, somehow, to have grasped a few Orwellian precepts. The lesson the President has learned best--and certainly the one that has been the most useful to him--is the axiom that if you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it. One of his Administration's current favorites is the whopper about America having been founded on Christian principles. Our nation was founded not on Christian principles but on Enlightenment ones. God only entered the picture as a very minor player, and Jesus Christ was conspicuously absent...."
    || JM, 8:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, March 03, 2005

    A Comic Twist

    The Comics Curmudgeon
    An awesome blog, with a unique point of view. Josh reads a ton of comics and shares his thoughts on his blog. A nice idea...wish I had thought of that!

    I was disappointed that of all the many comics that he has reviewed, there isn't one posting on what I've always felt was one of the lamest strips of all time, Nancy. Even as a kid, when Ernie Bushmiller drew it (and it was supposedly good) I thought that it sucked. Whoever draws it now has taken it to NEW levels of sucking, or as someone else so aptly put it the strip is a "pathetic excuse for a comic strip".

    An interesting spin on the strip is the Dadaist card game known as 5-Card Nancy. Everyone gets dealt 5 strips,you lay down a strip and if you make a story with continuity, you get rid of the strip, otherwise you have to take it back. First player to get rid of all the cards wins. Some of the results are pretty funny, unlike the original work.

    || JM, 9:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link: