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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Separated At Birth: The Apprentice

After numerous shark sightings in the past and every indication that it's best days are behind it, I still find myself suckered in for another season of The Apprentice. A few brief thoughts:

  • I thought they sent Adam packing last year, but apparently he's back in the suite again this season!
  • Not one but TWO strong local candidates to root for! Tammy lives here in Edison and is a still my heart. And Dan is another local who looks strong. Although originally from the USSR, Lenny resides in Jersey as well.
  • Good move, put the fat guy on the blimp. Normally I try to avoid that kind of a juxtaposition. Then again he was the one who said he invented his own diet plan. Let's hope he gives refunds. I don't see him around too long. And I see that he studied to be a mime; yet another reason to dislike him.
  • What, no stereotypical crazy chic? I thought Summer was going to step up to the plate on this, but sadly no. The stupid card is much less entertaining than the crazy card. Perhaps Brent will have to suffice.
  • The only bad thing about the Summer firing is that it reduces the eye-candy factor. Memo to Trump: where ever possible, FIRE THE DUDE!
  • Not really looking forward to Trump's kids replacing George and Carolyn in future episodes, but we'll see how that plays out.
  • And a word of friendly advice to the candidates: there is no "I" in team, although you DO find "RUMP" in Trump!
  • || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Play Time

    I've been away for a little trip. A fun little place called Liberty City, via the Sony express. I finally got off the fence and broke down and gave in to the temptation of the PlayStation Portable. Once I finally figured out that the little thing I thought was the speaker on the front was in reality the joystick things have been going much better. Men don't ask for (or read) directions.

    I knew that this was the top rated PSP game, and it's easy to see why. Even with all the mistakes I've been making, it's a ton of fun. I've been wasting time looking for doors to open and trying to figure out how to pick up hookers, but so far that doesn't seem possible. And my inability to follow directions translates to the virtual world as well, since in an early "assignment" was to "take the drug dealer to safety". My "out of the box" solution was to immediately beat him to death. Not the right call. I've got to go now, and steal some more cars, and pick some more fights.

    To review some of the gaming systems of the not so distant past, a nice recap of Games That Pushed The Limits.
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
    Robert Benchley
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    Don't Ask

    Not that I ever used their search engine, the good folks at Ask Jeeves have given the old "heave-ho" to Jeeves. It must have been a bad break-up, since this recent search to try to find out what happened produces no relevant results, and in fact casts aspersions about his sexuality!
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    Question Swap
    You've got questions? Oh, do we. Just leave any unanswered questions you have....and make sure you answer someone else's!
    || JM, 12:01 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, February 27, 2006

    Everybody's Got A Hunger, A Hunger They Can't Resist

    So I'm just tooling around on Google, and I come across these stunningly beautiful illustrations of diners by John Baeder which caused me to contemplate the subject and start trolling for links. It's certainly not the first time I've been distracted by shiny objects. But you have to bear in mind, I'm the guy (pathetic loser) who keeps the New Orleans BourboCAM page open in a browser tab, just in case some drunken female Mardi Gras reveler becomes a revealer (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

    Diners are thought of as a quintessential part of New Jersey, even though approximately 3,000 remain in operation across the country. But with over 500 remaining here, it means NJ has more than any other state.

    Many have questions concerning what really IS a diner?, but when trying to answer these kind of questions it's more a case of attitude (typically greasy spoon cuisine, but there are exceptions) and NOT architecture that wind up resolving the question. Diners can be fast, but they aren't fast food. "Chains" need not apply.

    "There's so much that you want, you deserve much more than this", but what you're getting is a giant linkdump of dining related topics:
    Diner City
    Googie Coffeeshop Architecture
    Googie Gallery
    Dining With The Sopranos
    New Jersey Neon
    Route 40 Diners
    Louis' Lunch: Birthplace of the hamburger?
    Hamburger Trick
    The Triple Tofu Tower
    Dead Man Eating
    America's Landmark: Under The Orange Roof
    Everybody Goes To Gino's
    My Favorite Pizza
    || JM, 12:13 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Fastnacht Day

    Where I grew up, there was a tradition that was pure Pennsylvania Dutch which was celebrated as you headed into Shrove Tuesday. The idea was that before Lent began, you would whip up a batch of tasty donuts, called fastnachs. Originally they were made from a deep-fried, yeast raised potato dough, but God only knows what the ones you get in supermarkets were made of. The idea was that for Lent, you would be forbidden from eating rich things, so you would use up all the ingredients and have one last fling. That was it's origin at least, since most people I knew seldom gave up anything for Lent, but we did love to eat fastnachts.

    I really wasn't aware that in most of the rest of the world, a similar ritual occurs, but they call it Pancake Day. Or that this is yet another case of a pagan celebration re-purposed as a Christian tradition.

    All I know is that I'm really craving a fastnacht right now! AND that you can get FREE PANCAKES! at IHOP!
    || JM, 12:09 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A man goes to a psychiatrist 'Nobody listens to me!' The doctor says 'Next!' "
    Henny Youngman
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    Chill Out

    iPod “Chair Man” Speakers
    Just one of the "Top 10 Strangest iPod Accessories" as featured by TechEBlog. This one looks like it puts the "fun" back into functional.

    And 2Spare brings us some more great lists, such as the Top 10 Most Peculiar Places in the World and the Top 10 Most Eccentric People you didn't know.
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, February 26, 2006


    Marguerite Perrin unleashes hell on the Bush administration.
    All I can say is, wow!
    || JM, 9:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Virtual In A Well
    This is strangely captivating. You are trapped in a well. Your only chance at survival is to throw rocks at the delicious seagulls flying overhead. Seems like a metaphor for the frustrations of our daily existence.
    || JM, 9:34 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Virtue is insufficient temptation."
    George Bernard Shaw
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    Small world, and it just got smaller. And less funny.
    || JM, 9:32 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    Tired of those boring e-cards that everybody sends? Here's an opportunity to stand out from the crowd. Sure, they suck, but they ARE both different and free.
    || JM, 9:30 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, February 24, 2006

    Friday Dog Blogging

    I had every intention of snapping a picture of our dog while she was doing one of her classic poses, but she just wasn't having any of it today so I just posted a recent shot. The one I had wanted to catch is where she sits on the couch in an upright position and drapes her front leg over the arm of the couch, looking like a little furry human. I don't think I'm being anthropomorphic but I think she is trying to mimic us. As a result, I keep my car keys on a high shelf.

    A few doggie related links that I stumbled upon recently:
    C'mon, Pooch, Get With the Program
    Pugs In Hats
    Talking Dog
    Doggie Bakery
    || JM, 11:17 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Look Out!

    Cheney's Got A Gun
    Sure, everyone else has linked to it. But sometimes you can't get enough of the classics.
    || JM, 11:16 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
    Mark Twain
    || JM, 11:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tech Tock

    It never fails when it comes to matters of technology, they always come out with something cooler right after you buy yours. I've been sitting on the fence for awhile thinking about getting a PSP, but thinking maybe I should just wait for the next generation PS3. Recent events remind me that life is too short for self denial and I should just buy the damn thing, but now I see that the next generation PSP2 is just around the corner that promises some tantalizing new features. And I wish I had a dollar for every iPod rumor that's out there. They never make this easy.

    But I'm probably better off getting hooked on this kind of a gaming system than getting hooked on an on-line game like Second Life. This sounds like it could be a dangerously addicting black hole of time wasting. I think I got this out of my system years ago with The Sims. But I find it interesting that there are those who have been able to quit their real jobs and make a living in this alternative world. And there is a dark side to everything.
    || JM, 11:13 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Oh No!

    If you a looking for a really disturbing NSFW video, idleriot's BK BJ will probably be just what you are looking for. I never did think that "waking up with the King" sounded like a good idea.

    And the Sportsbanana talks about Isiah Thomas, A Guy We All Know.
    || JM, 11:12 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, February 23, 2006

    It's Always Something

    They may have "3 Great Tastes That Taste Great Together", but every time I hear the damn commercial for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with Caramel I swear it sounds like they are saying "You got caramel on my racist". Next thing you know I'll be asking "What's all the fuss about flea erections in Uganda? Oh, nevermind.
    || JM, 12:13 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Called Out Again

    After seeing some kinda hurtful comments on another site describing this as a "rip-off" blog, I was considering how to react. I had considered more original content, but that would require some effort, so that's out. Sharing tales about my work life would get me fired, and sharing stuff about home life would get me divorced. What to do, what to do? For the short term, just keep plugging away. It is what it is; a time waster, my on-line bookmarks, and the occasional soapbox as the spirit moves me.

    And then as if to force me to actually put something original together, I get tagged with this rather interesting meme: "List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre. Doesn't matter whether they have words or even if they’re any good. The only requirement is that they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now. Post these instructions on your blog along with your seven song choices. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."

    Sounds like fun, except for the tagging others and limiting myself to seven songs. Since I'm not big on following instructions I'm not tagging anybody, but feel free to run with this if you are so inclined. And here are my seven "high rotation" current favorites:
    1) Queen Bitch (David Bowie...possibly the best part of "The Life Aquatic")
    2) Gut Feeling (Devo...see above)
    3) P-Funk Is Playing At My House (DJ Riko mash-up of LCD Soundsystem + Gerald A. + Katie Enlow, from Best of Bootie 2005)
    4) Hot Rich Girls Dropped In A Grange (Torero mash-up of Gwen Stefani + Snoop Dogg + ZZ Top, from Best of Bootie 2005)
    5) Popular (Nada Surf)
    6) Helicopter (Bloc Party)
    7) Only (Nine Inch Nails)
    || JM, 12:11 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
    Oscar Wilde
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    Home Brew

    Tangpagne (VIA Linkfilter)
    "Have you ever wondered what would happen ifyou tried to ferment Tang?" No, I haven't. There are some things that nature just never intended. Ironically, Tang just happens to be one of them. We all drank this drivel as children in some sort of misguided show of solidarity for America's astronauts. Why today's kids might still drink it is way beyond my ability to comprehend, as is the idea of why I would want to turn it into an alcoholic beverage. If I did, Tang and vodka would do just fine.
    || JM, 12:08 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Shaken Not Stirred

    Separated at Birth? (VIA YesButNoButYes)
    After his recent troubles on the set of the new James Bond flick, hardcore fans are in quite a tizzy over the choice of Daniel Craig to portray Bond. I'm not sure where on the geek continuum this group ranks, I'm guessing somewhere between Star Wars fans and Nascar followers but I could be wrong. To check out what all the fuss is about CraigNotBond will bring you up to speed.
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, February 22, 2006

    Java Nice Day

    "When this strange and shiny machine was left behind by a jittery missionary, these clever young villagers saw it as a business opportunity."

    From the Worth 1000 photoshop contest where the challenge was to place current products in a vintage setting. As always, some great stuff.
    || JM, 10:57 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Daily Dose Of Cute

    King of Wishful Thinking
    When all else fails, how can you go wrong with a cute dog?
    || JM, 10:56 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Why Do You Hate Meister Brau?

    Anti-Terrorist Drinking Games (VIA The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns)
    Now, we can all do our part in the war against terror, and numb our brains to better deal with the daily display of corruption and incompetence coming out of Washington.
    || JM, 10:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "In efforts to soar above our nature we invariably fall below it."
    Edgar Allan Poe
    || JM, 10:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Welcome To The Corporatocracy

    David Sirota: Truth About UAE Port Security Scandal Quietly Leaks Out
    The more you read about the UAE port security scandal, the more it becomes patently obvious this is about far more than just one deal with one company or one country. The harsh reaction from the Bush administration to the proposal to rescind the deal should be a red flag. This administration is unquestionably the most corporate-controlled administration in recent history, meaning its reactions are usually tied directly to the reactions of Corporate America. And the fact that the White House is ignoring its own security experts and reacting so negatively to Congress's opposition to the deal means this cuts to the much deeper issue of global trade policy - an issue that trumps all others for Big Money interests, even post-9/11 security....

    But as the coverage continues, the true motives of Bush's position are starting to slip out, almost inadvertently....
    || JM, 10:47 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, February 21, 2006

    Big Bowl Of Bad

    You pretty much have to concede that it's a bad idea if even the conservatives say that of all the dumb decisions since 9/11, this may be "the dumbest of all". The unmitigated arrogance that this administration has demonstrated knows no bounds, since apparently he thought selling control of major ports to an Arab company that has ties to a nation linked with both terrorism and Bush cronies would pass unnoticed. And to as if to rub our noses into it, he sends out Chertoff to sell it. Essentially he's saying "trust us" even though they don't trust US enough to de-classify the details. This coming from a guy with such "strong" credentials and a proven track record of incompetence.

    You would think that this would be be a golden opportunity for the Democratic opposition to assert themselves as a clear alternative to this continuing madness and lead us back to three branch, two party government, right? All I'm hearing are the crickets; rarely do I hear them articulate a clear vision in a way that is going to move the masses. With a mid-term election ahead when they can put Democrat back into Democracy, they still need to get their act together if this opportunity is going to mean anything. Unless they can present themselves as the alternative to this crony laden bunch of carpet-bagging corrupt hacks who don't give a damn about the welfare of the American people it's going to be more of the same.

    It would seem that we have lost our will to assert ourselves. Time and time again, we allow our elected officials to make decisions that aren't in our best interests while we sit idle. It's as if we are driving a VW with one of those evil looking "Fast" characters in the back seat, making us do things we don't want to do. Our "Fast" looks an awful lot like Karl Rove. Let's hope we can break the spell.
    || JM, 7:32 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Mix & Mash

    Have fun with Mr. Potato Head! (VIA Information Junk)

    I can remember my disappointment that Mr. Potato Head didn't come with a real potato. Thank God for spell check, since I keep typing the Dan Quayle spelling. And for a blast from the internet past, be sure to visit the Mr. Edible Starchy Tuber Head as well.
    || JM, 7:30 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The more noise a man or a motor makes the less power there is available."
    W. R. McGeary
    || JM, 7:30 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Now For Something Completely Different

    If you are anything at all like me (and if you are, please accept my deepest condolences) you probably can't wait to watch the upcoming PBS special Monty Python’s Personal Best. This six hour retrospective includes new material featuring each surviving member of the troupe, and an episode dedicated to the late Graham Chapman as well. For those who can't wait, a few of the classic bits:
    Dead Parrot
    Spanish Inquisition
    Pearl Harbor
    Funniest Joke Ever
    Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
    || JM, 7:28 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Faux News Break

    Media unfair to Darth Vader (VIA SatireSearch)
    A full week after Lord Vader's accidental strangling of Admiral Romodi Motti, the media shows no signs of letting go.

    "The hate-Vader crowd loves this story," complained Faux-News political analyst Boba Fett. "But it doesn't affect anyone's life at all. It's not like it reveals any deep insights into Lord Vader's character."

    Fett speculated that the press went overboard on the story from frustration and resentment.

    And in a related story: Empire Plans to sell Space Ports Causes Uproar.
    || JM, 7:26 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, February 20, 2006

    Suburban Bliss

    Love it, hate it, live it. It's hard not to have mixed feelings about living in the suburbs. Homogenized, sanitized, and seemingly "safe", suburbia exploded in the postwar period fueled by one part optimism, one part racism, and the helping hand of the federal government via an expanding interstate highway system. As a special bonus, that move proved to be a kick in the groin for public transit and cities in general.

    Luckily, cities have bounced back and suburbs are showing a bit more diversity than their white bread beginnings. Many have grown into large edge cities, or boomburbs. Unfortunately, too many older suburbs have the potential to turn into the slums of tomorrow. And don't even get me started on the whole McMansions thing. It might help to look back at a simpler vision of the suburban ideal.
    || JM, 10:37 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Let's Catch Up

    Ok, I've been too tired, busy, and uninspired to post...not that I've let that stop me before. So for no particular reason, a few links about everyones' favorite condiment:
    Ketchup Handjob
    The Condiment Packet Museum
    World's Largest Catsup Bottle
    Hot Tomato Catsup
    Catsup Crapper
    Phony Squirt Catsup
    The Ketchup Conundrum
    Ketchup is a vegetable?
    Ketchup FAQ
    || JM, 10:35 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools."
    Herbert Spencer
    || JM, 10:34 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Clowning Around

    I've posted in the past about my fear of clowns, mimes, and the fact that I hate bagpipes. Sometimes, you just have to confront your fears head-on so a visit to the Evil Clown Generator (VIA Bifurcated Rivets) could be quite therapeutic. No bagpipe therapy scheduled at this point.
    || JM, 10:33 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Helpful How-To

    The Google "how to" of the day featured these helpful hints on How to Impress a Man. There ARE other ways!
    || JM, 10:31 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, February 17, 2006

    Wearable Statement

    From the department of T-shirts that never were, but should have been made comes this gem from Mr. Fish: Catch Of The Day.
    || JM, 7:43 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Déjà Vu All Over Again

    One of the great crimes of the last century (if we ignore the Bush administration) would have to be the destruction of the original McKim, Mead & White Pennsylvania Station in the 60's. We were left with a place that looks like a bad bus station, uninspiring office buildings, a sports arena for teams that increasingly suck, and our memories. I remember it as a child when we were in town for the World's Fair and it's days were numbered. They had already torn down much of it, and what remained was dirty and poorly maintained. But even so, the building had a scale and a majesty that was moving.

    But now, it looks like history may repeat itself. They want to build a new Madison Square Garden, which may imperil the plans for the new Moynihan Station, an attempt to restore some of the lost glory. Let's hope this plays out better than the last time.
    || JM, 7:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
    Woody Allen
    || JM, 7:39 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    DOS Doomed? (VIA Google Video of the Day Videoblog)
    Bill Gates pops up in the middle of a perfectly good game of Doom to give us a salespitch. Yeah; "Windows 95 is the future of gaming." How'd that work out?
    || JM, 7:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Coming Attractions

    McSweeney's: Upcoming Jean-Claude Van Damme Film Titles That Show a Lack of Imagination on the Part of the Director and Screenwriters
  • Out for Vengeance
  • Out for Blood
  • Out for Vengeance and Blood
  • Out for Blood, as Well as Vengeance
  • Out for Vengeance, Not So Much Blood
  • Out for Blood, Vengeance, and a Shared Understanding of the Problems in the Middle East
  • A Little Bit Vengeance, a Little Bit Rock-and-Roll
  • The Vengeance for Blood Is Out
  • Ninety Minutes of Vengeance-Seeking, With Some Blood Thrown In for Good Measure
  • || JM, 7:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, February 16, 2006

    Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk

    The Three Stooges: Hey Nyaah
    I was poking around You Tube and found this little gem, as well as a few other video treasures. The Three Stooges Do Madonna wasn't AT ALL what I had expected, but it was still entertaining.

    Because of the bad remakes that Hollywood loves to churn out I got a bit nervous when I stumbled upon The NEW Three Stooges, but as it turns out it's just that the boys did some lame new material as an intro to an animated version. Not their best work by any means but true fans might want to have a look. Even though there was a remake of sorts, The Three Stooges TV Movie was more of a docudrama than a re-imaging. It's only a matter of time till some creatively bankrupt Hollywood executive gets the bright idea to re-cast and revisit The Stooges. Let's hope that day never comes. The classic line-up Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard would be hard to beat. And let's not forget the under-appreciated Shemp.

    A few bits of Three Stooges trivia from Wikipedia:
  • The eye poke started when Shemp accused Larry of cheating in a card game, and Shemp poked him in the eyes! Moe, watching all this, laughed so hard he fell off his chair and through his patio glass door.
  • The Soviet government asked permission for the aging Stooges shorts to be shown on Soviet TV, and that the Stooges declined, their theory being that the Soviets planned to use the Stooges as Cold War propaganda, i.e., evidence that the American people were pathologically violent and/or stupid.
  • The contact point of the "eye poke" was actually the brow bone, not the eyes. The illusion looked real on television. In the 1950s, after numerous complaints by parents of children imitating the Stooges' eyepoke, they went on TV to demonstrate how exactly they did it safely.
  • Shemp acquired his name from his mother's attempts to pronounce his name, "Sam", in spite of her thick accent

  • And to beat this into the ground, a few more links:
    The Fourth Stooge
    Premature Anti-Fascists
    The original straight man
    A Fine Mural
    How to make a Moe Howard Costume
    || JM, 12:15 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:


    “The pain goes away on payday.”
    Larry Fine
    || JM, 12:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Bad Ass

    My continuing quest for the perfect smart-assed T-shirt takes me to T-Shirt Hell featuring offensive baby shirts. Funny stuff, but dressing your kid in them would probably get you a visit from DYFS. Then, again it might be worth it.
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Dick's Delay

    Huffington Post: Alan Dershowitz
    Why would a media-savvy and clever man like Dick Cheney delay notifying the press and the police about an accident when a) he knew it would eventually be covered by the press and b) he knew he would be criticized for delaying release of the story?

    A simple cost/benefit analysis suggests that he (or those advising him) must have believed that there was more to be gained than lost by a 14 hour delay that would eventually be made public. It is likely, therefore, that something happened during that 14 hour period which was worth the negative costs of the delay.

    What is the most likely thing to happen during a 14 hour delay that is worth the negative publicity? One possibility is that it takes approximately that period of time for alcohol to dissipate in the body and no longer be subject to accurate testing. It is fairly common for people involved in alcohol-related accidents to delay reporting them until the alcohol has left the body....

    There are certainly other explanations for the 14 hour delay, but simply postponing the inevitable publication of a damaging story is not one of them. Nor is the fact that Cheney is, by nature, a secretive man. The burden of proof has now shifted to the Vice President to explain why he made this stupid, or very clever, decision. We're waiting for his explanation.

    And 'ya gotta love Jack Cafferty who said that Cheney appearing on Faux News to come clean "didn't exactly represent a profile in courage" and that having Hume interview him is "a little like Bonnie interviewing Clyde".

    Then, again the delay could mean that he was hiding his Lewinsky.
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, February 15, 2006

    VD Redux

    Hope that your Valentine's Day was a good one. Probably one of the sillier Hallmark holidays. But not everyone enjoys it.

    And for another dark view, this Sex and the City Reunion takes us to the not so distant future.
    || JM, 10:07 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Swift-BB Treatment

    In today's Op-Ed piece, Maureen Dowd breaks down the blame game that these weasels play so well. It looks like we can expect more of the same from the gang that can't shoot straight as they try to still the troubled waters:
    As the story of the weekend's bizarre hunting accident is wrenched out of the White House, the picture isn't pretty: With American soldiers dying in Iraq, Five-Deferment Dick "I Had Other Priorities in the 60's Than Military Service" Cheney gets his macho kicks gunning down little birds and the occasional old man while W. rides his bike, blissfully oblivious to any collateral damage. Shouldn't these guys work on weekends until we figure out how to fix Iraq, New Orleans, Medicare and gas prices?

    This version of "The Most Dangerous Game" neatly follows the four-step Bush-Cheney cycle:

    Step 1: Set out to pick off what you think is an easy target, like quail this time or pen-raised and netted pheasant in the past, or a certain sanction-caged Iraqi dictator.

    Step 2: In the corrupt company of lobbyist-contractor friends, botch things up. Ignore the peril at hand — as with, oh, Osama at Tora Bora, or Katrina, or the Iraq occupation — and with steely resolve, indulge your raging incompetence. (Oops.)

    Step 3: Stonewall. Resist giving Congress information about 9/11 or Katrina; don't tell the public how you're tapping phones at home, setting up gulags abroad and making war and energy policy in secret. Why give the taxpayers, who are ponying up for these weekend hunting trips, the extraordinary news that Vice shot his hunting companion in the face and chest? Scott McClellan knew before yesterday's White House briefing at noon that Mr. Whittington was worse, but did not tell the reporters. He left that to Corpus Christi doctors, who spun the heart attack as "an inflammatory response to a metallic foreign BB."

    Step 4: Admit no mistakes. Express sympathy. Blame the victim without leaving fingerprints by outsourcing the smear to the private sector.

    Trent Lott joked in a meeting yesterday that Mr. Cheney was now the "shooter in chief," while other wags noted that Quayle was always a problem for Bushes.

    And Bill Maher adds his point of view as well.
    || JM, 10:03 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:


    "The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality."
    George Bernard Shaw
    || JM, 10:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Code Humor

    FROM: Amusing Tees
    Like most of the t-shirts I post here, I'd never buy it, but I find it too funny to ignore.
    || JM, 10:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Puppy Rapid Transit (VIA Found on the Web)
    Hey, when you're not sure what to post, how can you go wrong with pictures of adorable puppies in a cute setting? The link also includes helpful "how to" instructions in the event you want to build one of these yourself.
    || JM, 9:59 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, February 14, 2006

    Cheney Hunting

    Two very predictable things occurred to me as soon as I heard this story: First, was that Jon Stewart would have a field day, and second is that Cheney would try to put the spin on it. I haven't been disappointed on either prediction.

    A few more topical links on the subject:
    Cheney's Got A Gun
    Darth Cheney/Dick Vader
    Dick Cheney: A History of Violence
    Top 10 Cheney Excuses for Shooting that Guy
    Visual Hunting Aid
    The Ballad of Dick Cheney
    If Dick Cheney was Scarface (NSFW)
    || JM, 11:07 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:


    "According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush...everyone believed there were quail in the brush...while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he would still have shot Mr. Whittington in the face."
    Rob Corddry
    || JM, 11:06 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Never Was

    The 10 Best Sci-Fi Films That Never Existed (VIA Metafilter)
    A pretty good round-up of some films that never were, most of which I've never heard about till this. And a bonus disappointment: Quentin Tarantino won't be directing a Half-Life movie. Gordon Freeman will remain as a small screen hero.

    And for more "never was" stuff, a FARK photoshop contest featuring games that never needed to be made in the first place.
    || JM, 11:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Maybe Next Year

    Smittens (VIA YesButNoButYes)
    These mittens are made for walking, that's just what they do. Personally, I think these Smittens are gonna look pretty silly on you. Too late to order them for Valentine's Day anyway.
    || JM, 11:03 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, February 13, 2006

    Be Werry Werry Quiet

    Davezilla offers Mr. Cheney some helpful advice and Hoffmania smells a rat.
    || JM, 11:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Look Of Love?

    Valentine's Day Cards For Your Loved Ones
    Yet another rejected card for Valentine's Day. Plenty of others that are sure to offend.
    || JM, 8:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Kitchen Helper

    Dog-end Towel Holder
    As much of a dog-lover as I might be, this new kitchen product won't be making an appearance in my house anytime soon. It WOULD smell better than the real deal though!
    || JM, 7:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful."
    Robert De Niro
    || JM, 7:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    McSweeney's: Klingon Recipes
    First it was Klingon Fairy Tails, then Klingon Personal Ads, and now they serve up this tasty treat:

    Home-Style Gagh
    SERVES 1-2
    Find someone who has already prepared some home-style gagh. Kill him/her in honorable combat and take his/her gagh. Serve cold and enjoy.
    || JM, 7:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    Automatic Complaint-letter Generator
    In the event you are just too tired to complain, let this handle all the heavy lifting.
    || JM, 7:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, February 12, 2006

    Shot Him Just To Watch Him Bleed?

    Looks like we will have to change this to eleven. Too bad Rove wasn't his hunting companion.
    || JM, 10:26 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day."
    John A. Wheeler
    || JM, 10:25 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Separated At Birth?

    I know it's too obvious, but I can't look at Neve and Gliz without seeing the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
    || JM, 10:21 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, February 11, 2006

    I + Heart + 'Da Boss

    Valentine’s Day Meets Boss’s Day
    Scott Adams brings us The Dilbert Blog, which recently featured a few poems for the boss on Valentine's Day:

    A boss like you is hard to find
    Just my damn luck that you are mine

    Working with you has given my life meaning
    I mean to drive over you as you're leaving

    I'll keep working for you as long as you desire
    Because with this crappy pay I can never retire

    I have this damned boss who's accretive,
    And his management style's (*expletive*).
    He called a fatwah
    on his own EBITDA,
    and his Mission is too repe-tee-tive.

    Roses are Red,
    Violets are Blue,
    Since working for you,
    I have to sniff glue.
    || JM, 11:01 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sweet Stuff

    A Very Star Wars Valentines
    If you are still looking for a "non-traditional" Valentine card, these may speak to your inner nerd.
    || JM, 11:00 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:


    "A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things."
    Herman Melville
    || JM, 10:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sing It, George

    Sometimes you can't explain what attracts you to something or someone. The Comrade Yamamoto Experience is a prime example of that. A quirky, somewhat cheesy site that includes links about highways, mash-ups of Dubya and song lyrics, and other stuff proved to be a fascinating time waster. Then again, I've been known to watch the laundry move past the window in the washing machine for long periods of time as well.
    || JM, 10:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Poetic Musing

    by George W. Bush
    From the many mangled mutterings of our commander-in-chimp:

    I think we all agree, the past is over.
    This is still a dangerous world.
    It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
    and potential mental losses.

    Rarely is the question asked
    Is our children learning?
    Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
    How many hands have I shaked?

    They misunderestimate me.
    I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
    I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
    Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

    Put food on your family!
    Knock down the tollbooth!
    Vulcanize society!
    Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
    || JM, 10:54 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, February 10, 2006

    Enter At Your Own Risk

    Manholes Of Japan (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)

    Ed Norton (no, not him) never had it this good. A stunning collection of beautiful photos of Japanese manhole covers. I'll never look at a manhole cover the same way again.
    || JM, 10:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    It's the Time for the Sneezin' of Love
    Debunking yet another urban myth, Snopes addresses one that I had never heard: "Sneezing seven times in a row is the same as an orgasm." And before you go running for the pepper, the answer is no. I wish I had thought of the quote attributed to Dr. Mark McMahon which is a classic: ''Sneezing is better than sex. It's a mini-instant orgasm. You keep your clothes on, you don't get involved, you can do it in public and when you're done, perfect strangers bless you."

    And speaking of sneezing, The Sneeze: Steve, Don't Eat It! offers a few eye opening, and stomach turning treats.
    || JM, 10:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Run It Up The Flagpole

    Business Booming for Danish Flag Maker
    A Danish Flag making company in Copenhagen is reporting record profit margins, during a period in which the rest of the national economy has suffered a massive blow. With sales up nearly 500%, some production lines have been forced to run a 24/7 manufacturing operation.

    “I've never seen anything quite like it,” Factory Manager Kiefer Wilson announced, “When I took over running this plant a year ago I wasn't really expecting it to go anywhere. It was just a stop-gap job whilst I tried to get my career back on track. But whatever I've done in those 12 months has certainly paid off – particularly in the last couple of weeks.”...
    || JM, 10:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:


    "When men are ruled by fear, they strive to prevent the very changes that will abate it."
    Alan Paton
    || JM, 10:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    America's Favorite?

    As if the Whopperette commercial from the Super Bowl wasn't disturbing enough (there is something just plain wrong about the grunting sound the "condiments" make as they pile up on each other) now we have this: The Creepy Burger King Flipps Off the Competition. You may wish to avoid this if you don't want the tune "Safety Dance" stuck in your head all day!
    || JM, 10:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link: