John's Blog

Since I started down the path of paronomasia (or should I say "punning down the road"?) let us engage in a little more word play for a moment. Some folks feel the need to incorporate puns in the name of their business, although I'd have to say that's a bit too cutsey for my tastes.

The recent story of the "astronaut love triangle" seemed to be a golden opportunity for punsters to spin their wares ("Out To Launch", "Astro-Nut", "Dark Side Of The Loon", "Lust In Space", "The Wrong Stuff") but that of course is yesterday's news once the Anna Nicole story broke. So for today's dose of silly, here are a few more pun thoughts:

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

I used to think I was indecisive ... but now I am not sure.

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

If a parsley farmer is sued, could they garnish his wages?

The most important things in life aren't things.

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.

There are three kinds of people, those that can count and those that can't.

After breaking his leg in a skiing accident over the Christmas
holiday, Arnold Schwarzenegger, concerned about his body image, asked his doctor if he could expect any serious bruising. "The doc looked at the Governator and replied, "Thigh'll be black!"

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

To some, marriage is a word; to others, a sentence.

Animal activist Bo Derek was horrified to learn that the Queen Elizabeth wears antique sable coats. She decided to confront the Queen over the issue, and arranged to get herself invited to an event which the Queen was also due to attend. So a couple of months later, there they were at a very high class tea party, Bo started looking around for the Queen. She marched up to the Queen and demanded an answer. Elizabeth responded haughtily and sang the classic song from "The Wizard of Oz," "Some Wear Old Fur to Reign, Bo."

Tags: humor, silly stuff, puns