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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Big Boy Toys

I love gadgets, but sometimes when you see them you have to just scratch your head and wonder, "what were they thinking?" That's pretty much how I reacted to this U.S.B. Beverage Chiller which plugs into your USB port and acts like a bizarro world hotplate. Dude, if you've been at the computer long enough to have your drink get warm you probably need a break anyway. The occasional walk into the next room is probably good for you!

On the other end of the spectrum is this handy SkyScout, which combines GPS technology with a microprocessor and a database of star locations to give you a roadmap of the sky. I don't know about you, but I've never been successful at finding planets and star formations when I look up in the sky at night. I usually just stand there looking up and feeling like a dumb ass.

This little piece of genius allows you to point it at a star and it will instantly identify it and display the information on it's LCD screen and on its' audio output as well. Priced at a relatively reasonable $399, this is a unique and useful toy that I'd love to have. For now, I'll just stand and look like a dumb ass.
|| JM, 8:26 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

A Silent Gesture


Mime Torn

OK, this represents far more creativity than I've come to expect from anything associated with the word mime. As much as I hate mimes, this ancient artform is probably looked down upon because of the overabundance of half-assed practitioners. I'm sure there is such a thing as a "good mime" it's just that I've never seen one...although I did kinda' have a thing for Yarnell at one point. Usually you get some actor-wannabe who probably doesn't have anything worthwhile to say anyway and does a rehash of the prototypical Marcel Marceau performance. And gets in your face when you don't want to be bothered. Both are 'freaking annoying.

So you can only imagine how my heart dropped when a co-worker announced that she had hired mimes for an upcoming event. I immediately began to think of ways I could change my schedule so I'd be out of the building on that day rather than be subjected to the onslaught of mimes. I'm sure adults and children alike will love the presence of mimes...NOT! Just to add to the festive atmosphere, I'm going to suggest that we hire a few evil clowns and bring in members of NAMBLA to do face-painting for the kids. What could possibly go wrong?

But if you want to walk a mile in the shoes of a mime, and experience the hate for yourself a visit to The Mimulator is a must! And a few more mime-related links to check out:

The Mime Rant Page
Amusing street performers or neurotic decoys?
Uncyclopedia: A History of Mimes
Fight Crimes With Mimes
|| JM, 8:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Caulrophobia

I'd be remiss talking about mimes, if I didn't remind everyone that I hate clowns as well. Probably relates to some long repressed childhood memory, or it could just be the "get in your face/look at me; aren't I funny?" attitude that they exude. Or it could be the influence of the numerous "evil clown" images that are out there. But for whatever reason, I simply don't like them. Or bagpipes. Or corduroy for that matter either. So it goes without saying that encountering a corduroy clad clown playing a bagpipe would be a VERY unpleasant experience.

A few more links as we "share the hate":

Bad Clowns Galore
Wikipedia: Evil Clowns
Never Trust Clowns T-Shirts
Clownz In The News
EvilDeadClowns Greetings Cards
The Evil Clown of Middletown NJ
Evil Clown Nesting Dolls
Am I a Scary Clown Or Not?
|| JM, 7:59 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
Lewis Carroll
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Put On A Happy Face

For your daily dose of annoyance, you can visit Whitetrash. Sort of like a web based version of the old magnetic shavings toys where you put hair and a beard on some generic bald guy, this site gives you the ability to build your own trailer trash look. With irritating music to really get under your skin.
|| JM, 7:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, July 28, 2006

Didn't You Get That Memo?

Office Space Bunnies!
To break up the monotony while you work on your TPS reports, The 30-Second Bunnies Theatre brings you the latest in their series of reinactments done by a troupe of bunnies in about 30 seconds.

And although lacking bunnies, this clip features some office small talk that's sure to catch your attention. Oh yea...and it also features boobies! How can you go wrong?
|| JM, 8:05 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

I'm Lovin' It!


Ghetto Big Mac

These enterprising young men show us how to re-engineer the McDonald's Dollar Menu to get a low cost version of the Big Mac. There are plenty of people who couldn't list the Bill of Rights, The 10 Commandments, or say the Pledge of Allegiance correctly, but ask what the ingredients are for the Big Mac and just about everybody knows that it consists of "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." In the unlikely event that the jingle isn't stuck in your head, here is another annoying commercial from the past to haunt you: Mac Tonight!

A few more tasty Mickey D related links:

McDonald's urban legends
McDonald's Job Application
The Freaky Universe of McDonald's Advertising
McDonald's Is McEvil
McDonaldization
Super Size Me - McFastfood Test
McDonald's Sign Prank
McDonald's Bathroom Attendant
The Secret McDonald's Recipes
Improv Everywhere: Mission Big Mac
|| JM, 8:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

“People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.”
Plato
|| JM, 8:01 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Sign-O-Trouble

Emergency signs used to promote fish fries
Homeland Security officials in the state of Indiana purchased 11 electronic message boards at the cost of $300,000 to warn local residents in the event of terrorism or natural disaster. But those aren't everyday events, and spaghetti dinners, carnivals, and fish fries are so the signs have been used to advertise those functions. But Homeland Security seems to feel that this isn't a proper use and have told the county officials who were using them for this purpose to stop.

But at least someone was getting some use out of it, since I have to think that much of the expenditures in this area are needless pork barrel spending that yields worse results than these. Since Dubya seldom has a well thought out plan for anything, federal spending on HS has failed to reflect any sort of a consideration of real risks, as the recent reduction to the funding levels for NY & DC and that silly national asset database (featuring petting zoos) demonstrates. Maybe one day, we can have government that actually cares or takes the job seriously. The voices of frustration grow louder, let's hope this translates into Democratic success in the coming midterm elections. Heck, even some Republicans think that's a good idea!
|| JM, 7:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Reign of Error

Just in case you were feeling too confident about the chances of the Democrats in the midterm election, some frightening observations from today's Paul Krugman Op-Ed piece:
Amid everything else that’s going wrong in the world, here’s one more piece of depressing news: a few days ago the Harris Poll reported that 50 percent of Americans now believe that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction when we invaded, up from 36 percent in February 2005. Meanwhile, 64 percent still believe that Saddam had strong links with Al Qaeda.

At one level, this shouldn’t be all that surprising. The people now running America never accept inconvenient truths. Long after facts they don’t like have been established, whether it’s the absence of any wrongdoing by the Clintons in the Whitewater affair or the absence of W.M.D. in Iraq, the propaganda machine that supports the current administration is still at work, seeking to flush those facts down the memory hole.

But it’s dismaying to realize that the machine remains so effective.

Here’s how the process works.

First, if the facts fail to support the administration position on an issue — stem cells, global warming, tax cuts, income inequality, Iraq — officials refuse to acknowledge the facts.

Sometimes the officials simply lie. “The tax cuts have made the tax code more progressive and reduced income inequality,” Edward Lazear, the chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, declared a couple of months ago. More often, however, they bob and weave.

Consider, for example, Condoleezza Rice’s response a few months ago, when pressed to explain why the administration always links the Iraq war to 9/11. She admitted that Saddam, “as far as we know, did not order Sept. 11, may not have even known of Sept. 11.” (Notice how her statement, while literally true, nonetheless seems to imply both that it’s still possible that Saddam ordered 9/11, and that he probably did know about it.) “But,” she went on, “that’s a very narrow definition of what caused Sept. 11.”

Meanwhile, apparatchiks in the media spread disinformation. It’s hard to imagine what the world looks like to the large number of Americans who get their news by watching Fox and listening to Rush Limbaugh, but I get a pretty good sense from my mailbag.

Many of my correspondents are living in a world in which the economy is better than it ever was under Bill Clinton, newly released documents show that Saddam really was in cahoots with Osama, and the discovery of some decayed 1980’s-vintage chemical munitions vindicates everything the administration said about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction. (Hyping of the munitions find may partly explain why public belief that Saddam had W.M.D. has made a comeback.)

Some of my correspondents have even picked up on claims, mostly disseminated on right-wing blogs, that the Bush administration actually did a heck of a job after Katrina.

And what about the perceptions of those who get their news from sources that aren’t de facto branches of the Republican National Committee?

The climate of media intimidation that prevailed for several years after 9/11, which made news organizations very cautious about reporting facts that put the administration in a bad light, has abated. But it’s not entirely gone. Just a few months ago major news organizations were under fierce attack from the right over their supposed failure to report the “good news” from Iraq — and my sense is that this attack did lead to a temporary softening of news coverage, until the extent of the carnage became undeniable. And the conventions of he-said-she-said reporting, under which lies and truth get equal billing, continue to work in the administration’s favor.

Whatever the reason, the fact is that the Bush administration continues to be remarkably successful at rewriting history. For example, Mr. Bush has repeatedly suggested that the United States had to invade Iraq because Saddam wouldn’t let U.N. inspectors in. His most recent statement to that effect was only a few weeks ago. And he gets away with it. If there have been reports by major news organizations pointing out that that’s not at all what happened, I’ve missed them.

It’s all very Orwellian, of course. But when Orwell wrote of “a nightmare world in which the Leader, or some ruling clique, controls not only the future but the past,” he was thinking of totalitarian states. Who would have imagined that history would prove so easy to rewrite in a democratic nation with a free press?
|| JM, 7:56 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

T-Shirt Of The Day

iPoor (VIA Netscape)
If you want to join the cult of he Mac, but just can't pony up the bucks for a new iPod this might be your answer. This attractive t-shirt mimics the look of wearing one, and its' $15 price tag won't put a big dent in your wallet.
|| JM, 7:54 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Next Big Thing (so to speak)!

WE WON'T BE BEAT! (VIA Table Of Malcontents)
Looking for the next big internet trend? This internet entrepreneur wanted to be on the cusp of 21st century society and started this site. Probably NOT for the modest or the humor impaired (and most would consider it NSFW). And let's just hope that this entry isn't illegal.
|| JM, 11:45 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

Craft Corner

Viagra Cufflinks
What man wouldn't be moved by receiving a gift that was lovingly handcrafted by his mate? This site gives you the directions you'll need to make these great looking cufflinks that he's sure to love. The temptation to say that it will be hard for him to turn down this gift is too much to ignore. Also, there are plenty of other craft projects allowing you to get creative with tampons and make attractive and functional items like the tampon blowgun, earrings, and a toupee if you are so inclined.
|| JM, 11:43 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today."
Will Rogers
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OMG!


A Beginners Guide To Faking Your Death On The Internet
A tongue in cheek primer on how to be an attention whore.
|| JM, 11:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

And The Winner Is...

In the event that you can't wait for the accolades to start pouring in, why not create your own? Gerald from The Presurfer points us to this handy Web Award Generator, one of the many great ones to be found at The Generator Blog! And for additional "do it yourself" sign generator fun, more can be found at Custom Sign Generator Page.
|| JM, 11:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A Cool Drink

For the pampered pooch who must indulge in everything that their human does, they now have Slobber Lager a beer flavored brew for your canine pal. The nonalcoholic treat was introduced at a NYC pub yesterday and combines the flavor of beer and hamburgers, and appears to be a hit with the dogs that did the taste test. Then again, let's not forget how willing most dogs are to drink from the toilet.
|| JM, 10:35 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

Sitting Duck


Dick Fiction
The never-before-seen true story of the Dick Cheney hunting accident done up in the style of Pulp Fiction...need I say NSFW?
|| JM, 10:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to look after them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
John Steinbeck
|| JM, 10:33 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Out & About

Perhaps I have a one track mind in addition the case of A.D.D. that I'm aflicted with. I had to grab a few things at the A&P and as always I used the automated "do-it-yourself" checkout. Normally, you just pass the UPC over the scanner and bag the goods, but the guy in the next lane was buying produce and I guess you have to punch in what you are purchasing, weigh it, and then the machine tells you to proceed. He was getting corn on the cob, but I could have sworn that the machine kept saying "Please place your PORN on the belt". And based on the headspin that the guy in the next lane did almost simultaneously with me, he must have thought the same thing.

Right after this I jumped in the car to pick up a few more things at the asian grocery store down the street. Too bad I didn't have a camera with me to capture one of the best examples of Engrish that I've come across. The sign in the refrigerated section where they had the milk and other stuff read "DAILY & FROZEN FOODS". Next time, I'll take a camera.
|| JM, 10:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

A Bit Of A Tease

Well, it looks like the new Star Trek XI movie is a go after all, and they've started to tease us with the release of this new movie poster. With J.J. Abrams at the helm creatively, it promises to be a bit of a re-boot and a return to the early days of the original series. The bad news is that we'll have to wait until 2008 for the release.
|| JM, 10:23 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Running Thoughts

Ah, the morning run. A time for reflective, contemplative thought on a wide range of topics that just happen to pop into my head. One of the paths I went down during today's work out was when a truck passed me that had "Hispanic Landscaping" written on the side. This may have been someone's idea of a joke, or it may have been a refreshingly honest piece of truth in advertising, I'm really not sure. But it got me thinking of just how much fun it might be to get into the landscaping business.

I'd have to find the right partner to justify this, but I've got the perfect name already picked out: S & M Landscaping. A quick search on Google shows that it's already been done, but I doubt that they have taken advantage of the tremendous potential this would give you for uniforms and ad slogans. The possibilities are almost endless:

  • Let us whip your lawn into submission.
  • We'll take the pain out of lawn care and put it where it belongs.
  • Our fetish is your perfect lawn.
  • Our lawn specialist Marquis De Sod will have your grass looking great.
  • BDSM: B..etter D..emand S..ome M..ulch!
  • Like to Watch (your lawn being cut)? Then Call Us!
  • You'll Be Humiliated By The Great Job We Do!
  • Don't Be Bound By Fear Of Lawncare.
  • || JM, 2:22 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Go Fly A Kite

    The Cursor Kite (VIA TechEBlog & OhGizmo!)
    How sad is it that when you see something like this your first response is that somebody must have fired up Photoshop? This is apparently the real deal and is an actual kite built with invisible fittings, quad-line control and opposed-bow tensioning allowing the cursor to fly and point like the one on your desktop and get plenty of attention and smiles as well.
    || JM, 2:17 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is within it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more."
    Mark Twain
    || JM, 2:16 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Movie Time


    Mac Spoof: Networking
    Some people love the new Mac ads and others hate 'em. No matter how you feel on the ads you'll probably find this parody amusing.

    And from Filmrot.com comes a few more must see video links "F$%K The Movies" featuring some NSFW short versions of films featuring the "f-ing essence" of the original movie:

    Blair Witch
    Joe Pesci F-word in Casino
    The Big Lebowski - F_cking Short Version
    Scarface in 90 seconds
    || JM, 2:15 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Save Ray's Balls!


    Another example of corporate weasels who lack the balls to make decisions that respect tradition, the current owners of the "Union 76" brand are removing their distinctive ball sign and replacing it with a bland, contemporary flat version. The original ball version dates back to a design by graphics designer Ray Pedersen as part of the Union Oil pavilion at the '62 Seattle World Fair and was implemented as the sign for their gas stations shortly after that. The website Save the 76 Ball is part of a campaign to convince ConocoPhillips that this iconic presence should be preserved.
    || JM, 2:12 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, July 24, 2006

    Amazing Stuff

    Strange statues around the world (VIA In4mador!)
    Obviously, this rather strange statue resides in Europe, since the morality police would surely have a problem with this in these parts. Plenty of other strangely creative and potentially offensive pieces of art (although I love 'em & don't have a problem with them) that are worth a look.
    || JM, 8:04 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    O' Reilly?

    The news that a Macy’s reality series is to debut on TV this fall is a real yawner. This seems more likely to be a puff piece resembling an infomercial than any significant insight into the inner sanctum. On the other hand, this recent Dilbert seems far more relevant and provides insight into how things really work:

    || JM, 8:02 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in."
    Wayne Gretzky
    || JM, 8:01 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Not Coming Soon Enough

    Apple to do eBooks
    The rumors about the much delayed upgrade to the true video iPod just keep getting better and better. In addition to the substantially larger screen, now it looks like they will be adding eBook capabilities to the new model. Now, if they can just improve the battery life I'll be the first in line.
    || JM, 7:59 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, July 21, 2006

    Friday Dog Blogging

    "Hey, what did I ever do to deserve this? I'm your faithful and loyal companion who provides you unconditional love and how do I get repaid? You make me wear this silly and humiliating dress. Oh well, it doesn't matter...so when's dinner?"
    || JM, 8:06 AM || link || (5)||comments|| Email this link:

    Mooby News


    Trooper Clerks
    A funny clip to mark the premier of Clerks 2 which goes into wide distribution today. I caught Kevin Smith on O & A the other morning where he confronted Joel Siegel over his outburst while walking out on the films' screening. The full story at Kevins' Blog: A Dick in a Mustache is Still a Dick.

    So far the reviews look good, but as much as I'd like to see this new movie, I'll probably lame out and wait for the DVD release. To tide me over, or to whet your appetitie, a few Clerks related video links:

    Helpful hints from Jay and Silent Bob
    The Flying Car
    Clerks - Lost Scene
    Clerks anime
    || JM, 8:05 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
    Theodore Roosevelt
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    Spell It Out

    Google Spell (VIA Populicious)

    Enter a word and watch as the power of Google renders the spelled out image.
    || JM, 8:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday Random Ten

    Proving yet again just how lazy I've become, it's time to trot out one of the old cliches for another installment of this semi-regular feature. A simple click of the "refresh" button brings us this weeks random 10. Speaking of 10, this seems like the perfect time to take a look at the 10 Oddest iPod Accessories as found by BusinessWeek.
    || JM, 7:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, July 20, 2006

    Boob-O-Rama

    I feel like a bit of a boob for passing this link on, but these Shower Breasts are available in the U.K. and are an attractive and fun addition to any bathroom. You fill them with your favorite soap or shampoo and then to dispense you just give them a gentle squeeze. The only problem is that you'll likely run out of soap much quicker when using these.

    Luckily, there is no Pam Anderson model available. Probably due to fears of liability litigation over the potential eye injuries that a scale model of her over-engineered assets might cause. I happened to stumble upon (no, really I did) the Wikipedia entry for Pam and its' frank and honest description of her career made me laugh out loud: "a Canadian-American television actress, glamour model, producer, TV personality and author. She was formerly known as Pamela Anderson Lee. Anderson is popularly known for modeling and television acting in the '90s and most notably for her large breasts." I guess there are worse legacies.

    But most men just can't resist breasts as this clip illustrates.
    || JM, 7:36 AM || link || (6)||comments|| Email this link:

    Consider This

    Some Idle Thoughts for your contemplative pleasure courtesy of Dribbleglass.com:

  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
  • No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
  • Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  • If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
  • There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
  • Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
  • || JM, 7:35 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Name Tracking

    NameVoyager (VIA digg)
    A pretty cool interactive Java app that will show you just how popular your name has been in the last century. It's interesting to see the peaks in popularity that some names have reached, and just how far some have been downtrending. Like mine for example, but this may also just reflect the broadening universe of potential baby names that are on the table these days.
    || JM, 7:33 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
    Douglas Adams
    || JM, 7:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    You've Been Warned!


    Web Cam Sex Is BAD
    A humorous PSA perhaps, showing us how cyber-sex can go horribly wrong.
    || JM, 7:31 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Blockhead Boy

    Dubya has been pretty busy recently blocking the stem cell bill, an ethics inquiry, and international diplomacy in the middle-east via foot dragging and general indifference. But what can you expect from a guy who shows up at a meeting of international leaders and behaves much like the spoiled and disengaged frat boy that he has always been.

    Picking stem cell research as his first opportunity to veto a bill seems pretty lame, since he says the bill "would support the taking of innocent human life" and would be crossing a "moral line". OK, let me see if I'm following this..destroying a multi-cell embryo is equivalent to killing a living human and is wrong. But to start a needless war which leads to countless deaths of real human life is acceptable, and doesn't cross any moral lines? More flawed logic from the gang that brought us "compassionate conservatism". Their defense of this veto relies on ignoring or distorting accepted science and looks downright silly if not batshit insane like this argument from Sam Brownback.

    Apparently, once again Dubya is pandering to the "base" that has served him so well in providing a push in getting the "asses in the pews" so to speak at election time. But with just about everybody else finally seeing that the emperor has no clothes, this strategy has (hopefully) run it's course. I suspect that he might have finally stumbled upon the issue that does for the Democrats what they've been unable to do for themselves: motivate people to get out there and show their displeasure. This issue has far reaching bipartisan support, and I'm guessing that the bad taste that this leaves in the mouth will last longer than many in the administration are counting on.
    || JM, 7:29 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, July 19, 2006

    A Tasty Treat

    Dori-Toes

    Truly a WTF? moment on this piece of strange packaging from Japan. The folks at Fleshbot seemed to feel it was sexually orientated, but for my money I just find it strange. Trust me, I see sexual overtones in just about everything but I'm not seeing anything sexual here. Personally, I see two guys in haz-mat suits...and there's nothing sexy about that. Or corn-chip breath.
    || JM, 9:51 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Bit-O-Confusion

    I suspect that I may have some sort of cognitive disability. Recently, I've been skimming headlines and getting meanings that are far from what the author intended. Yesterday I was reading about the problems with the Boston highway tunnel and the headline was DIG BOLTS CAN'T BE TRUSTED which I immediately interpreted as BIG DOLTS CAN'T BE TRUSTED, which although technically is correct just wasn't at all what the story was about. It's likely just the result of my amateur attempts to speed read, which probably strips much texture and meaning from what I'm plowing through. And, oops!...I did it again when I read that BRITNEY ROBOTS START STEPPING INTO DAILY LIFE. Oh wait...those were BRAINY ROBOTS...probably the first and last time that those words ever are confused.
    || JM, 9:47 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself."
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    || JM, 9:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sci-Fi Corner


    Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager (episode 1)

    For the "me too" link of the day; this one will have to do. Personally, I can't get enough Star Wars related humor, and this is a classic. And so is 75 things we love and hate about Star Wars (VIA digg).

    Speaking of classic sci-fi, and for more YouTube fun, check out Knights of the Round Table featuring the Star Trek TOS cast doing the old Monty Python ditty. Fans of the classic series will probably be happy to see that the Animated Series is about to be released on DVD soon.
    || JM, 9:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, July 18, 2006

    Egg-Vertising

    Trying not to put all their advertising dollars in one basket, CBS recently announced that they will be kicking off an ad campaign where they laser slogans on eggs to be sold in grocery stores. I'm not sure if this relates in any way to the upcoming debut of Katie Cour-egg as the chief hen of the evening news, but this seems like a pretty silly idea. Sure, I'd understand if Faux News were to do a product tie-in with bologna, or if the Sci-Fi Channel were to give away pocket protectors, but I don't eggsactly get this scrambled concept. I'm certainly not eggcited about it.

    The ones announced sure sound like winners that will have me running for the remote...NOT: "CSI: Crack the Case on CBS....New Grade-A CBS Comedy....CBS Mondays: Leave the Yolks to us". A few more suggested slogans from a recent FARK comments thread to supplement those already announced:

  • We could make this egg travel through a garden hose, that's how much we suck.
  • We're almost eggstinct!
  • Because advertising on human zygotes is beneath us!
  • Your grandma needs something to watch too
  • We'll egg your house till you start watching.
  • Our shows are like these eggs, we just crap them out.
  • Lower your eggspectations!
  • Ovoid us like salmonella.
  • We don't just suck, we suck eggs!
  • || JM, 7:59 AM || link || (6)||comments|| Email this link:

    Live and Learn

    One of my favorite things on the cable channel TLC are their funny, yet true Life Lessons commercials featuring a rather charming series of collectible figurines. This one commemorates a painful lesson that many of us have learned "Just because you like it doesn't mean she will." My regrettable purchase of an expresso maker comes to mind. And if you are so inclined, you can now order your these 3-D polyresin treasures to spruce up your own home or office. It's a toss-up between this and the "When she asks for a backrub, sometimes she just wants a backrub" as far as which one I like best.
    || JM, 7:56 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines."
    John Benfield
    || JM, 7:55 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Vide-O-Rama


    A Day in the Life of Britney Spears
    This doesn't really seem like that much of an exaggeration, but this humorous look at a typical day in the Spears' household was still fun. What probably WON'T be as much fun (at least for Britney) is the upcoming "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law & Order which features "tabloids, drugs, stalkerazzi and a young superstar whose lack of parenting skills might lead to murder." Ouch!

    And proving that I just don't care anymore, a mini video link-dump for your time-wasting pleasure:

    Peanuts meets Clerks
    Fellini's "8 1/2" meets Marshall Mathers
    Ted Stevens meets The Internets' TUBES!
    Too Much Free Time meets Dominos
    LSD meets Hotdogs
    || JM, 7:53 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, July 17, 2006

    Warning!

    I get really steamed when I see otherwise able bodied people parking in the spaces for the disabled. I get even crazier when someone who has a spouse or loved who they transport and gets one of those handicapped tags which think that they can use ALL THE TIME, even when they don't have the other person with them. Although, perhaps the argument could be made that they have a mental handicap.

    These warning signs (VIA Stay Free! Daily) are from a guerilla campaign to draw attention to the subject. I suspect that I might have to print out a few of these to put on the windshield of offending cars. And another campaign tries to make the same point.
    || JM, 12:23 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Happy Anniversary

    On this date in 1955 Disneyland: "The Happiest Place On Earth" opened its' doors for the first time. Built in under a year at a cost of $17 million, it's first day wasn't the paragon of Disney efficiency that we've come to expect. Not entirely completed for opening day and with bugs galore, it eventually got the kinks worked out and became what we've all grown to love. Or at least the ones who get to leave there alive or at least in one piece.
    || JM, 12:21 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it."
    Woody Allen
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    I + Heart

    I have to fess up that I'm a huge fan of the VH1 series I Love The 70's Volume 2. This funky, snarky, fun look back at 70's pop culture reminded me just how much of this decade I'd forgotten about. If you want to test your knowledge their 70's movie trivia and the 70's music trivia quizzes will let you know just how much of an expert you are on the subject.

    But my least favorite part of this series (if you ignore the annoying Charo sequences) is the involvement of Allison Arngrim who played Nellie on "Little House On The Prairie". She introduces a "then and now" segment where she reminds viewers that she was famous three decades ago, and "luckily, time's been good to me". That's a subject that's open for debate, but I guess irksome children grow up to be irritating adults.
    || JM, 12:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Darth Side


    Vader Sessions
    I'd hate to be the only person in the blogosphere NOT to link to this clip, so in case you haven't seen this one, check out this funny "re-imaging" of the Star Wars saga featuring James Earl Jones & his dialog from other movies.
    || JM, 12:13 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, July 16, 2006

    A Sad Legacy

    From today's Frank Rich Op-Ed:
    AS American foreign policy lies in ruins from Pyongyang to Baghdad to Beirut, its epitaph is already being written in Washington. Last week’s Time cover, “The End of Cowboy Diplomacy,” lays out the conventional wisdom: the Bush doctrine of pre-emptive war, upended by chaos in Iraq and the nuclear intransigence of North Korea and Iran, is now officially kaput. In its stead, a sadder but more patient White House, under the sway of Condi Rice, is embracing the fine art of multilateral diplomacy and dumping the “bring ’em on” gun-slinging that got the world into this jam.

    The only flaw in this narrative — a big one — is that it understates the administration’s failure by assuming that President Bush actually had a grand, if misguided, vision in the first place. Would that this were so. But in truth this presidency never had a vision for the world. It instead had an idée fixe about one country, Iraq, and in pursuit of that obsession recklessly harnessed American power to gut-driven improvisation and P.R. strategies, not doctrine. This has not changed, even now.

    Only if we remember that the core values of this White House are marketing and political expediency, not principle and substance, can we fully grasp its past errors and, more important, decipher the endgame to come. The Bush era has not been defined by big government or small government but by virtual government. Its enduring shrine will be a hollow Department of Homeland Security that finds more potential terrorist targets in Indiana than in New York....

    The Bush doctrine was a doctrine in name only, a sales strategy contrived to dress up the single mission of regime change in Iraq with philosophical grandiosity worthy of F.D.R. There was never any serious intention of militarily pre-empting either Iran or North Korea, whose nuclear ambitions were as naked then as they are now, or of striking the countries that unlike Iraq were major enablers of Islamic terrorism. Axis of Evil was merely a clever brand name from the same sloganeering folks who gave us “compassionate conservatism” and “a uniter, not a divider”....

    Since then, the administration has fiddled in Iraq while Islamic radicalism has burned brighter and the rest of the Axis of Evil, not to mention Afghanistan and the Middle East, have grown into just the gathering threat that Saddam was not. And there’s still no policy....The ambition is not to control events but “to kick the proverbial can down the road — far enough so the next president can deal with it.” There is no plan for victory in Iraq, only a wish and a prayer that the apocalypse won’t arrive before Mr. Bush retires to his ranch.....

    ANOTHER, equally significant, part of the Bush legacy is already evident throughout Washington, and not confined to foreign policy or the executive branch. Following the president’s leadership, Congress has also embraced the virtual governance of substituting publicity stunts for substance.

    Instead of passing an immigration law, this Congress has entertained us with dueling immigration hearings. Instead of overseeing the war in Iraq or homeland security, its members have held press conferences announcing that they, if not the Pentagon, have at last found Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction....Instead of promised post-DeLay reforms, the House concocted a sham Lobbying Accountability and Transparency Act that won’t do away with the gifts and junkets politicians rake in from the Abramoffs of K Street. And let’s not forget all the days devoted to resolutions about same-sex marriage, flag burning, the patriotism of The New York Times and the Pledge of Allegiance....It’s not only cowboy diplomacy that’s dead at this point in the Bush era, but also functioning democracy as we used to know it.

    And another NY Times editorial piece which deserves a look, The Real Agenda focuses on the post 9-11 response of the Bush Administration which has had "less to do with fighting Osama bin Laden than with expanding presidential power."
    || JM, 12:32 PM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be."
    Daniel J. Boorstin
    || JM, 12:31 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Game Time



    An oldie, but goodie from Lewis Black where he reviews his newly acquired fondness for video games. But on his recent CNN appearance promoting the release of his book in paperback, he wasn't so fond of the scrolling text.

    And in yet another Daily Show moment, George Bush shows his love for pigs...we are all doomed.
    || JM, 12:30 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, July 14, 2006

    At The Movies

    This Modern World
    Tom Tomorrow gives us a glimpse of a series of conservative movie reviews. Kool-Aid not included.
    || JM, 8:00 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Movies

    The almost endless stream of those James Bond movies with increasingly silly titles seems like they have been around forever. But after awhile, they all sound somewhat similar. This weeks' Something Awful: Photoshop Phriday takes this redundancy to the next level.
    || JM, 7:58 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Senator Pot, Meet Rep. Kettle


    A New Direction for America

    The new Democratic ad that includes images of flag-draped coffins and a mug shot of Tom DeLay has the GOP up in arms. Saying that it crosses the line and is a cynical and shameful piece of political opportunism seems pretty ironic. To imply that it dishonors those who have made the ultimate sacrifice is shameful, fake outrage. Let's not forget that these same voices were strangely silent when Dubya's campaign wrapped itself in images of 9-11 coffins from the WTC, and cynically uses soldiers as props on the political stage, when they aren't busy using them as cannon fodder for this misguided war. Which is the bigger insult?

    The shame here would be if we continue this needless loss of life, without some rational rethinking of our current "stay the course" policies. And when they point a finger at Democrats let's not forget where the other three are pointing. They call this politicization distasteful, yet incredibly they appear poised to make Iraq a cornerstone of their campaign strategy yet again. This talk about lack of respect and exploitation must be based on their own experience with these shameless tactics.
    || JM, 7:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "If I knew that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life."
    Henry David Thoreau
    || JM, 7:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The New Frontline

    McSweeney's: Some Entirely Realistic Suggestions Following The Failures Of The Quixotic "War On Drugs" And "War On Terror.":

  • The War on Drunks
  • The War on Unpaired Socks
  • The War on Late DVD Rental Fees
  • The War on Teaspoons Left in the Sink
  • The War on Declaring Wars on Stateless Individuals and Ideologies Whose Very Nature Precludes There Ever Being an End to Said Conflicts
  • || JM, 7:54 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, July 12, 2006

    Apply Directly To The Forehead!

    I can only hope that there is a special place in hell for the dare I say "creative" minds responsible for the HeadOn! Apply Directly To The Forehead! commercial. If you have been lucky enough to avoid it, and you want to see just how freaking annoying it actually is, feel free to check it out, just don't say you haven't been warned. After losing the battle to find the remote and hit the mute button too many times, my new strategy is to just stop watching channels that show the commercial. Take THAT, CNN!

    I'm just glad that they don't market a Viagra based product, I can only imagine how annoying that would be; HardOn! Apply Directly To The Penis!...HardOn! Apply Directly To The Penis!... At least THIS version is an improvement on the original.
    || JM, 9:59 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Recap Corner

    In the event, you've missed the recent World Cup finals, and the ensuing controversy, this clip should bring you up to speed. (One of the many You're The Man Now Dog user contributions.)
    || JM, 9:57 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people."
    Edward F. Benson
    || JM, 9:57 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Your Tax Dollars At Work

    U.S. Terror Targets: Petting Zoo and Flea Market?
    More good news from the gang that couldn't shoot straight: The Homeland Security antiterrorism database lists such high profile targets such as Old MacDonald’s Petting Zoo, the Amish Country Popcorn factory, the Mule Day Parade, the Sweetwater Flea Market and an unspecified “Beach at End of a Street.” Listing such hotspots of terrorism as Indiana and Wisconsin as the having the highest number of assets to be protected such as “Nix’s Check Cashing,” “Mall at Sears,” “Ice Cream Parlor,” “Tackle Shop,” “Donut Shop,” “Anti-Cruelty Society” and “Bean Fest.”

    Proving once again just how seriously (not at all) this administration takes Homeland Security. Seems like it would have been easier to list the places that "weren't" on the list in the database, but that might leave us with a list looking remarkably like the one we've got. If trying to make Homeland Security irrelevant and ineffective was their goal, this sure gets us one step closer.

    And they have taken one more important step in their efforts to keep us constantly scared. They are working on a system to send emergency alerts to cell phones and mobil devices. The system isn't in place yet, so you have yet another "mission accomplished" moment to add to the hall of shame.
    || JM, 9:53 PM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Classic Returns

    A mixed bag of good news with the announcement that a Chinese Company Intends to Build MG’s in Oklahoma. It will be weird to see a car that was previously British, now under Chinese ownership, made in the U.S. Nice to see this classic name-plate return, but when I saw that the car they are going to produce is going to be called the TF, I began to freak out thinking that they were naming it after a sexual slang term. I was wondering if they were going to bring out a companion car called the BJ, and then I discovered that the name is a recycling of a model name from the classic MG T series. OOps...my bad.
    || JM, 9:50 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, July 11, 2006

    A Little Difference

    The recent study that revealed that sex differences go deep is hardly news to anybody, but just gives us a few facts to back up what most of us already knew. Experience can sometimes be a harsh teacher however and you sometimes learn to keep these differences to yourself.

    A classic example of how differently men and women see things just happened to me the other day while the wife and I were shopping at the Walgreens drugstore. The cashier was taking an exceptionally long time to move along the line, and my mind started to wander. The woman in front of me was getting impatient and was rocking back and forth. This gave me the opportunity to notice that she was pretty "MILFY". Not enough time while standing in line to board the plane for that flight of fantasy, but a nice although brief diversion while I was otherwise bored to tears.

    Later, in the car, the wife asks me if I noticed the woman in line. A dangerous question, with only a split second to pick an answer. Say "yes" and she might want to know why. But say "no"and risk looking like a liar. Since she was a redhead and she knows I have "issues" I decided to throw caution to the wind and fess up that I did notice her. "Could she been wearing a smaller, skimpier outfit?" Wow, I really didn't notice the outfit. I think it might have been yellow. Luckily, no more true confessions were required.

    A few more differences to ponder:

    The Differences Between Men and Women
    MORE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
    Even More...
    Not Done Yet...
    The REAL Differences
    || JM, 9:56 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Coming Soon

    A lot to look forward to in the fictional world of Dunder Mifflin. The new webisodes featuring some of the supporting cast will be on-line as of July 13th.

    And for fans of "the original" it looks like they will be making an appearance on the show in the future: The British Are Coming! It's probably sacrilegious for me to say this, since fans of the BBC series seem pretty loyal, but I happen to like both series. I think this is one case where the imitation is just as good as the original in it's own way!
    || JM, 9:54 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."
    Bill Vaughan
    || JM, 9:53 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Think Different


    Pod Billboard Sign Generator (VIA The Generator Blog)
    I just can't get enough of those sign generator sites. This one offers up the opportunity to make one featuring the iPod advertising style. Have fun!
    || JM, 9:44 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    No Joke

    A recent link on digg referred to an article containing quotes from Michael Caine (Alfred) speculating that Batman Begins 2 might be titled ‘The Joker?’ which seems fine with me, but not everyone agrees. I thought Batman Begins was under-appreciated, and with the exception of Katie (or is it now Kate?) Holmes performance, it was an awesome movie. This is one sequel that I can't wait to see.

    But speculation on who is to play The Joker is now focusing on Adrien Brody as the new joker. Personally, I preferred the potentially ironic casting of Michael Keaton, but it's far from a done deal.
    || JM, 9:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, July 10, 2006

    A Little Static

    For no particular reason, a few pieces of trivia courtesy of U.S. Early Radio History, answering the oft ask questions why do some stations have 3 letter call-signs AND why do some stations start with "K" and others "W"?

    And a few more radio related links, just to make sure we beat a dead horse:
    Radio Receiver Construction
    Radio History on the Web
    Live 365: Internet Radio
    Pandora: Create Your Own Station
    Radio DavidByrne.com
    GTA: Radio Stations
    || JM, 8:53 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Try everything once except incest and folk dancing."
    Sir Thomas Beecham
    || JM, 8:52 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tribute


    South Park: Tribute to Monty Python
    Matt & Trey pay homage to the classic dead parrot sketch.
    || JM, 8:51 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Kitler

    Cats That Look Like Hitler (VIA In4mador!)
    "Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he's going to up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "Sieg Miaow"? If so, this is the website for you."

    Then again, there is Titler (VIA MetaFilter), featuring a cross-dressing gay Hitler who sings! (Winner of an honorable mention at Sundance in 2000.)
    || JM, 8:51 AM || link || (3)||comments|| Email this link:

    Check It Out

    PornCheck
    "Make sure your computer has exactly the right amount of porn."
    || JM, 8:48 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, July 07, 2006

    Friday Dog Blogging

    "One of the advantages of living in a classic split-level is that you have a stairway that provides a great vantage point for me to look out the picture window. Living on a corner provides me with twice the opportunity to catch any human activity that might go on in the neighborhood. I'll just sit here and wedge my face into the railing until the next person walks by for me to bark at."
    || JM, 9:41 AM || link || (4)||comments|| Email this link:

    Look...Up On The Screen!



    Since most of us grew up with the George Reeves version of Superman, it's only natural that there would be a great deal of interest in the shady circumstances surrounding his death. So I got pretty excited to see the story being told again in the upcoming movie Hollywoodland as previewed in the above trailer. It's got a ton of top notch actors (Adrien Brody, Diane Lane, Bob Hoskins, Molly Parker), and; oh yes the dreaded Ben Affleck as well.

    His early promise quickly evaporated into a suckfest every time he's on the screen, and despite his favored status staring in Kevin Smith vehicles, his presence in a film is usually a bad sign. Let's hope this is an exception to that rule. Perhaps, it can be since I didn't notice it was him till the clip was almost over. Maybe I got fooled by the glasses, the same was that Lois missed Clark's real identity?

    A few more related "super" links:

    Superman Sells Frosted Flakes
    Clark Kent's dirty little secret
    Kevin Smith talks about Superman Lives
    "Superman" the Movie Re-enacted by Bunnies in 30-Seconds
    Ben Affleck: Your Life Totally Sucks Compared to Mine
    Bollywood Superman
    || JM, 9:39 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."
    Henry David Thoreau
    || JM, 9:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Random 10

    Hey, it's Friday and since I've got nothing again today, let's roll out the iPod and hit the shuffle button one more time:
  • New Year's Day; U2
  • Seether; Veruca Salt
  • Stumble and Fall; Razorlight
  • Get Stoned; Hinder
  • Soul Meets Body; Death Cab For Cutie
  • Don't Push; The Exit
  • Lady; Lenny Kravitz
  • Drive My Car; The Donnas
  • The Rest Will Follow; ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
  • Beautiful; Clem Snide
  • || JM, 9:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Instructional Link

    This just BEGS for a Powerpoint version...How to Make a Sandwich (VIA Information Junk)
    || JM, 9:34 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, July 06, 2006

    TV Songs

    Songtitle.Info: Music from TV Commercials (VIA digg)
    An interesting little database featuring the songs that are used in commercials. Now you don't have to sit there and scratch you head and ask, "Who Did That?" The question "How come they can't invent an automatic mute button for commercials?" sadly remains unanswered. And more on the topic can be found at:
    Wikipedia: List of songs featured in television commercials
    Adtunes
    What's That Called?
    || JM, 11:19 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link: