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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Art Of PowerPoint



Some love it while others hate it, and the rest of us just have to sit there and suffer. I've only got enough patience to sit through one or two more meetings that utilize bad PowerPoint before I go postal. But in all fairness, blaming PP for bad presentations is like blaming Word for lousy writing. It just facilitates bad presentations. PP is only part of the trend towards dumbing things down, and dealing with issues and concepts in a superficial and oversimplified way. I'm sure there is a direct correlation between this trend and the re-election of Bush, but let's not go there today.

I had to do a PP as part of my final project for my advanced Java class, and my teacher told me that in all his years of teaching, I was the first student to incorporate humor into a PP presentation on that subject. Not suprising, since there isn't a lot funny about Java for the most part, but I've always found a way to inject humor into most circumstances, even if it is dark humor. Without further ado, here are some fun PP related links:

PowerPoint Remix
The Cognitive Style of PowerPoint: Presented in the Form of a PowerPoint Presentation
The Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation:11/19/1863
"Do I press this button here? Function-F7? No, that's not right. Hmmm. Maybe I'll have to reboot. Hold on a minute. Um, my name is Abe Lincoln."
You Have A Very Bad Hotel
The classic powerpoint presentation from two angry customers!
The PowerPoint Anthology of Literature
Great books distilled to their essence and presented in the most efficient form of communication ever devised.
How To Make A Bad Powerpoint Presentation
Not That Anyone Needs Help With That!
PowerPoint Viewer
With this download, you can view PowerPoint presentations even if you don't have PowerPoint.
PowerPoint Links
HOW-TO: Put PowerPoint on your iPod
If you have an iPod Photo and use PowerPoint and don't want to lug around a computer
|| JM, 8:31 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln
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Monday, November 29, 2004

"You're In" For A Good Time!



The Urinal Test
I've seen this previously as a Flash application, but I somehow like the simple JavaScript version found here better. Even though I've aced this quiz before, I must be lacking in all the proper men's room skills. I'm always amazed when I'm in the bathroom at work where there are two urinals, and two stalls. When one of the urinals is in use and a 2nd person comes in to take a leak, more often than not they will head into a stall to take care of business rather than stand next to another guy. Then again, they might just be making a statement about me.

Other links to piss away your time:
The Urinals of Macy's Been There; done that.
The Top 10 Most Fascinating Urinals Alas, I can only dream.
The Definitive Urinal Site Tons of great stuff here...like the last two links.
The Portable Internet Urinal You may never have to leave your computer again.
Aim for the back wall or the water?
Giving Target Marketing A Whole New Meaning
Some People Ruin All The Fun
Have A Target/Make A Statement
Types Of Male Employees At The Urinal
Urinal Cartoons
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision."
Lord Falkland
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Ending The Year With A Bang

It Was A VERY Good Year
Some employers are rewarding employees with sex sessions or by paying for strip shows as Christmas bonuses according to this article. Dang; I get excited over just a regular bonus check or the occasional free lunch!
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Sunday, November 28, 2004

Black Friday Reflections

I suppose enough time has passed and I've had enough sleep to look back on the events of Black Friday. Where I work they run massive doorbuster advertising to attract huge crowds early in the day for this sale. (Anagram alert!) Some person had the bright idea to include in these ads a $10 off coupon with some restrictions but no minimum purchase required. For most normal people, this would be a nice opportunity to save $10 off an item that they might wish to get for the holidays.

Not everybody saw it that way; some saw it as a challenge to get as much stuff for free as they possibly could. Even though the area where I live is a very diverse community in terms of both incomes and cultures, for this event, one group seems to respond disproportionately, while at the same time fueling a lot of the racism that is sometimes directed against them.

The magnitude of what occurred on Friday is difficult to describe, but I'll try anyway. Since the coupon was restricted to one per customer, this required an orchestrated attempt to drag out three generations of families; every man, woman, child, parent, and grandparent each armed with piles of coupons. When the doors opened at 6am, hundreds and hundreds of these groups descended upon the store, much like the assault on the Normandy beaches. They targeted and emptied fixtures like locusts wiping out a harvest. In almost every case, their goal as to find a $9.99 item and add a 2nd item with the lowest retail so that they can pay as little as possible. Every member of the clan goes through the line, to cash in on their loot and then find another register to then do it all over again.

Many groups just gathered their junk in a big pile, and then parked grandma or a child on the pile to protect their stake, while this bizarre variation of supermarket sweep took place. In the midst of this madness, mix in the occasional fistfight with racial overtones just to make things interesting. When the coupon ended at noon, the party abruptly stopped. Mounds and mounds of merchandise dumped everywhere. Isles left completely impassable due to junk just being thrown around.

The ironic part of all of this (I was going to say worst part, but nothing is worse than the abusive customers who abound and the aftermath of having to pick up all the crap) is that the people who show up for this event aren't the customers who are the regular core customers who form the backbone of our business, but simply weasels who are just showing up for their free crap, never to return until we do something this stupid again. The presence of these money grubbing hordes, combined with a very customer unfriendly shopping environment goes a long way towards driving away the customers they work so hard to court the rest of the year. Interesting strategy. Looks like the buy nothing day has a long way to go before it catches on!

In the event your shopping jones hasn't been satisfied, a few shopping related links:
Create a Froogle Shopping List
Deadmalls: Welcome to Retail History!!
The Father Of The Shopping Mall
10 things you shouldn't buy new
Modern Mannequin
Store Wars: When Wal-Mart Comes To Town
Domain Names Available On eBay
Why Not Give Spam?
What's your favorite catalog?
Black Friday Survival Story
|| JM, 9:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
Elizabeth Taylor
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Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving Stuffing



For the first time that I can remember, I actually tried to watch the parade on TV, mainly to try to get a glimpse of the people I know who took part in the event. Nice idea, but even though the float stopped for a performance segment, there were no shots of anybody I knew. What I did see were far too many Buick commercials. Memo to GM: you have to do more than just using Aerosmith songs in your advertising to make a Buick hip.

I avoided the temptation to sign up people I know for the Target wake-up call, although the day is still young and I might wind up doing it anyhow. Dreading the madness that awaits for tomorrow, the so-called "Black Friday" which promises to be a ugly free-for-all. I'm sure I'll have to reflect on that later, assuming that I have the strength. Until then, some holiday related links:

Are you ready to face Black Friday?
Ummm......no.
Turkey Jigsaw Puzzle
A cute little java app... a fun holiday diversion.
The True Meaning Of Thanksgiving
One who appreciates all the things that most of us take for granted.
Butterball Help-Line
"Nine out of ten people would rather sit down at the table and suck on the end of a baster full of buttery juices than gnaw at some dry old wing."
"May I have your $UNECESSARY PERSONAL INFO ?
A few new ways to respond to those annoying stores that ask you for personal information when you make a purchase.
Thanksgiving Rant
A bit of holiday angst as well as an interesting list of things to be thankful for from one of my favorite bloggers
The Turkey Testicle Festival
Darn, I missed this.....but maybe next year!
|| JM, 11:41 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity."
Francis Maitland Balfour
|| JM, 11:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Protest Movements



The Election Is Over. The Fight Is Not
"On January 20th, 2005, we're calling for a new kind of action. The Bush administration has been successful at keeping protesters away from major events in the last few years by closing off areas around events and using questionable legal strategies to outlaw public dissent. We can use these obstacles to develop new tactics. On Inauguration day, we don't need banners, we don't need signs, we don't need puppets, we just need people.

We're calling on people to attend inauguration without protest signs, shirts or stickers. Once through security and at the procession, at a given signal, we'll all turn our backs on Bush's motorcade and continue through his speech and swearing in. A simple, clear and coherent message."


Or you can visit this site: "Support Subversion" desisigned by Chris Habib. He accurately points out that all the stupid magnetic ribbons that have become all the rage do nothing to support the troops. He also sees the irony in these pseudo expressions of patriotism attached to large fuel-inefficient SUVs which are in there own way anti-American.

"These ribbons simply make some wholesale merchant wealthy off of the guilt of a population while perpetuating a state of non-debate with respect to the hegemonic interests of america. There is so little sincere discussion of american policy in mainstream media that it's only logical that the gag-rule on debate should also infect advertising. More logical still is that the non-debate has become so ubiquitous that any advertising serving to perpetuate it should be financed by those engaging in the delivery of the message. These ribbons are the wet dream of any merchant of war. If Karl Rove himself did not commission the first batch, I'd suggest he connect with a head-hunter post-haste and add his resignation to the stack."

He offers some great alternative ribbons, along with instructions on how to print them out and install them. And you could visit another previously mentioned site AntiMagnet.com if you don't want to make your own.
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

“Try everything once except incest and folk dancing.”
Sir Thomas Beecham
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Assorted Fun Links

100 Things Every Guy Must Know
Maxim has assembled the ultimate road map to help you fit in. Including important topics such as: Who painted the poker-playing dogs?, How to win more coin tosses, The Rolling Rock bottle mystery, How the Wint-o-green Lifesavers spark works, When to split cards in blackjack, The long-lost words to the Bonanza theme song, and many, many more!

Strap-On Veterans for Truth
An organization dedicating to exposing the truth about the former drag queen now known as Ann Coulter

"Ann Coulter is actually a former drag queen from Key West named Pudenda Shenanigans. Ms. Shenanigans was famous for her renditions of “Dude Looks Like a Lady” “I will Survive” and “You Shook Me All Night Long” as well as an extensive Barbara Streisand repertoire. We who used to work with her are concerned for her as well as upset by the vile hatred she has spewed towards her former friends in the gay community. We feel that by bringing the truth to light perhaps Ann will come to grips with her past and change her wicked ways."

FREE Cupholder
Cool, high-tech cupholders guaranteed to match the decor in your home or office. Offer valid only to Windows users viewing the site with Internet Explorer.
|| JM, 9:31 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, November 22, 2004

Enter The Matrix



The Four Word Film Review
I rediscovered this site as I was digging around review sites to validate my opinion of the Matrix trilogy. Eventhough I love sci-fi, I had originally avoided The Matrix. I sometimes bristle if there is too much buzz on something, and take it as hype. Ultimately, some friends held me hostage and made me watch the first film. I was still unimpressed.

But when I was bored and channel surfing the other night, I stumbled upon one of the sequels. I thought that I was watching the final installment, so you can imagine my disappointment when after two hours I see "to be continued" flash on the screen! So now, I had to watch the third movie. I actually liked the second one far more than I thought I would, and by the end of the last one I thought they were taking themselves a bit too seriously but still would have to say that it was entertaining.

After all this, I had to go back and re-watch the first one. I guess I have to eat some crow, since I really liked the first one far more than I thought I did. Part of this may just be that it was better than the sequels; two good movies might have been better than one good one and two mediocre ones.
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Douglas Adams
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Look, Up In The Sky..

Superman Too Super A Role Model
Bad news for Seinfeld since this study from NYU found that those who viewed Superman as a role model unwittingly compare themselves to the superhero, and realise they do not measure up. And as a result, they are less likely to help other people.
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Whoa!



The Perry Bible Fellowship
A really original and bizarre series of comics that has to be seen to be believed.
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Sunday, November 21, 2004

Four More Years



Hang In There America
As TBogg so poignantly puts it :"when life gives you lemons, throw them at the heads of people you don't like and then run like hell. It's all snark fodder to me."

You have to love the story from Gawker about the Bush twins in NYC , who along with 2 massive secret service men, tried to have dinner. They were told by the maitre'd that they were full and would be for the next 4 years. Upon hearing, the entire restaurant cheered and did a round of shots.
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Always be sincere. Even if you don't mean it."
Harry S. Truman
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Pick Me Up


SEPHORA: Pick Me Up Spray
"Each Demeter scent is meticulously researched, designed and hand-blended in the classic European tradition, using synthetic and naturally occurring ingredients and botanical derivatives. Demeter captures the true essence of each scent. Whether it be Gin & Tonic, Leather or Angel Food, Demeter's technologically advanced fragrances allow you to scent the skin, as well as your personal space with scents that harken back to childhood memories."

Man, I'm not sure what kind of a childhood this person had, but gin and tonics weren't a big part of my childhood.
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Whu Dat?

What Their Mommas Named Them
Real names of R&B and hip hop artists.
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Deadwood Obsessed

Apparently I'm not the only one who misses Deadwood; Sunday nights just haven't been the same since it went off. Thanks to Sean Bonner for reminding me. But he points us to a few links to satisify our cravings: "tons of amazing info on The City of Deadwood and Deadwood.org. I can't stop reading about Al Swearengen and Seth Bullock. And reading the backstories on some of the other notable people is uber info-thirst-quenching."

There were those who said that it was impossible to count the number of times that the f-word was used in each episode...this guy took it as a challenge:

Total f**ks in Season One: 831
Average f**ks per episode: 69.3
Cumulative FPM: 1.23
|| JM, 9:43 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saturday, November 20, 2004

WTF?



I have a PDA with a built-in camera, and I was going through and deleting some of the shots that I've taken at work which I no longer need. I found this picture which I had long ago forgotten about. This sign was in one of the stock areas, and it's cryptic message left me scratching my head. "THE TIME IS VERY VALUABLE, KEEP IT NICE AND NEAT." What could this possibly be telling us? I'm sure that I've been watching too many time travel episodes of Star Trek, but my first thoughts were that we had stock people capable of traveling back in time and this was some sort of temporal warning not to mess up the time line. I soon realized that this was silly, and if they could travel back in time, they would have stopped someone from making the mess that I was looking at. I'm now sticking with my theory that this is an ESL issue, but I'm no less mystified about the meaning of the sign.
|| JM, 9:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything."
Kurt Vonnegut
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Weird Stuff

Pepsi Spice Project
Found this bit of freakyness via Boing Boing: " I will drink Pepsi Holiday Spice for 45 days, and nothing else.. no water, milk, nothing... but Pepsi Holiday Spice." Check out his blog to see the nasty effects!

And speaking of nasty, be sure to check out Target.com and order an anal massage!

Continuing this "mini-theme" perhaps a visit to The Society For The Prevention And Cure Of Rectal-Cranial Inversion is what you need?
|| JM, 9:32 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

2008 Possibility?

Brokaw possesses skills needed in a president
Interesting thought.....any Democrats listening?? The thought of a Brokaw-Obamma ticket sounds like a good idea to me!
|| JM, 9:29 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, November 19, 2004

Bad Bosses



Top Ten Bosses from Hell
One of these days I'll have to submit my story about "Jim-Bob" my own "boss-from-hell." I alluded to this in an earlier post, but due to the pain still associated with recalling that time I didn't tell the story. To make a long story short, I referred to him as Jim-Bob (behind his back) since whenever I ask him a question, he could never give me an answer directly without checking with his boss Bob first. He had just been demoted into the job, and was very arrogant and tough to work with, being very intolerant of any opinions other than the ones he was putting forth. I've always felt that listening to the points of view from my direct reports was an important part of being a boss, but what the heck do I know. We were a good fit, like oil and water.

I was much more innocent and optimistic then, but my biggest sin was not knowing who was sleeping with who. One of my "mentors" who I had mistakenly viewed as a friend, stopped into my office one night, and I guess I shared a bit too much of my frustrations with her. It was only later that I found out that she was having an affair with my boss. Oops!

I didn't suspect a thing when Jim-Bob ask me to send him a series of files. This was back in the days before e-mail, so we used these "TO:/FROM:" pads and inter-office mail for all our communications. The files in question had notes where he had given me direction to do certain things, all of which ultimately resulted in less than the desired results. Each of these situations were mentioned when he put me on warning, and I didn't have the foresight to have made copies of the files before I sent them. Needless to say after the warning, the files were returned to me MINUS the notes.

Ultimately, they did me a favor, since that wasn't a healthy environment. But I still carry some of the emotional scars, and I still carry a grudge.

CYA disclaimer: topic & links selected for this blog occur in a random stream of consciousness.....having nothing to do with my current employment situation! With that being said, some more bad boss links:

11 Rules of Work Etiquette For My Idiot Boss
I Hate My Boss. (Just Kidding, Sir.)
What Makes a Bad Boss

QUIZ: Can you handle a bad boss?
Beware of Bad Boss
Solving Your Bad-Boss Problems
Bad Bosses
Draw Your Boss
|| JM, 10:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tasty!



The Ultimate Yuletide Technology
Despite its origins as a festival of peace and humanity, Christmas too can all-too-easily become the most stressful time of year. In the modern world, with all the demands that it makes upon us and our time, the true meaning of Christmas gets crowded out. It is not always easy to enjoy the true spirit of Noel.

We understand this and present the USB Mince Pie, the Ultimate in Yuletide Technology that brings together the world's favourite festive food and our patented "no limits" USB technology. The USB Mince Pie combines the ease-of-use of USB technology with a super-accurate, faithful reproduction of a genuinely tasty Mince Pie to make it easy to take on the demands of you modern life with a killer combination of high-tech power the joy of Christmas!
|| JM, 10:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
George Carlin
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Deja-vu...All Over Again

GROUNDHOG DAY WATCH
....Colin Powell on Wednesday: The United States has intelligence that Iran is working to adapt missiles to deliver a nuclear weapon, further evidence that the Islamic republic is determined to acquire a nuclear bomb, Secretary of State Colin L. Powell said Wednesday.

...."I have seen some information that would suggest that they have been actively working on delivery systems....You don't have a weapon until you put it in something that can deliver a weapon," Powell told reporters traveling with him to Chile for an Asia-Pacific economic summit.
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Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Race Card

I really don't get what all the fuss is about over the MNF skit with the Desperate Housewives tie-in. It seems that this "red-state mentality" is really catching on. As Jon Stewart put it, apparently anyone who was offended by this didn't stay tuned to be further incensed by the beer commercials that followed. And now I see that Tony Dungy is upset that it portrays a negative stereotype of black men in light of the Kobe Bryant thing. I like Dungy and respect his opinion, but this reaction caught me by surprise. I have to assume that most of the "outrage" over this skit comes from those who were upset by the idea of Nicollette Sheridan being with Terrell Owens, who is African-American. Yet for some reason, this is never spoken of. Not surprising, since we just came through an election where those who were most hurt by W's actions enthusiastically embraced his lies. Our nations' lack of honesty and insight is appalling.
|| JM, 9:31 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!"
Henry Ford
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Today's Op-Ed

MAUREEN DOWD: A Plague of Toadies
I can't get enough of Maureen Dowd; intelligent, on-target thinking, and a hottie to boot!
"In ancient Greece, the prince of Tyre tires of all the yes men around him. He chooses to trust the one courtier who intrepidly tells him: "They do abuse the king that flatter him. ... Whereas reproof, obedient and in order, fits kings, as they are men, for they may err.''....Now, in the 21st-century reign of King George II, flattery is mandatory, dissent is forbidden, and erring without admitting error is the best way to get ahead. President Bush is purging the naysayers who tried to temper crusted-nut-bar Dick Cheney and the neocon crazies on Iraq.....

First, faith trumped facts. Now, loyalty trumps competence. W., who was the loyalty enforcer for his father's administration, is now the loyalty enforcer for his own. Those promoted to be in charge of our security, diplomacy and civil liberties were rewarded for being more loyal to Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney than to the truth. The president and vice president are dispatching their toadies to the agencies to quell dissent. The crackdown seems bizarre, since hardly anyone dared to disagree with them anyway and there were plenty willing to twist the truth for them......"

|| JM, 9:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

More Fun With Food



Naughty Food Items
Call me simple, but I can't get enough of this stuff.
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Blogger Blogs

One of these days, I've got to add links to my favorite "blogger blogs" here. Two big problems with that; one is my proclivity to procrastinate and the second is that there are so many good ones that I have a hard time coming up with a short list. This one, Everything is wrong with me is sure to make the list. Edgy, funny, neurotic, honest, and always makes an interesting read. If I could make my entries 1/100th as good as his, I'd be thrilled.
|| JM, 7:39 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork."
Edward Abbey
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Stop Already

Enough Is Enough
"HEY YA!" was one of the greatest singles of 2003 but it has pretty much overstayed its welcome. If you'd like to see it banned from the universe, this might be the site for you.
|| JM, 7:35 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Good To Know

Useless Information
It's the useless stuff that's usually the most fun.
|| JM, 7:32 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Horror Story



The Best Page In The Universe: A few suggestions to help make CompUSA a better store
My first thought was that this guy's tirade was harsh, but as I read on and remembered the bad experience that I had with CompUSA, he really went easy on them....with the exception on the logo. I had wanted to link to it for full effect (animated GIF) but at the authors' request I didn't....not that my linking to him would create bandwidth issues, but I'll comply with his wishes.

The last time I went to CompUSA I had already been exhausted by trying to deal with an un-named (rhymes with Doesheba) vendor's customer service/ tech support. After numerous phone calls, and attempts to get my Pocket PC up and running properly, the vendors tech people concluded that I had a defective unit. Packing it up and heading back to Comp was one of the worst retail experiences of my life.....if you don't count getting fired by a retailer for what were essentially trumped up issues....but that's a blog entry for another day.

The CompUSA staff was rude and condescending, and refused to take back the product. They then decided to make an exception, but would have to charge me the 15% restocking fee. I seldom have temper tantrums in public, but on this I had to take a stand. After dealing with many people, and with many harsh words were exchanged, FINALLY they figured out that I was telling the truth and that I had a defective product that I wanted to exchange. However, after the way that they had treated me the last thing I wanted to do was to purchase anything at CompUSA.

The crowning blow came when I channeled my anger into a letter to their corporate office. I was civil, and explained some of the basics on how you treat a customer, which I didn't see demonstrated at their store. I had at least expected some sort of acknowledgement, as they might have attempted to save a customer. Nothing...nada....zip. Add arrogance to the list of sins committed by this scum sucking company! One thing I do well is carry a grudge!

More links on this subject:
CompUSA Sucks!
A forum for complaints about CompUSA
CompUSA: Customer Satisfaction
Horror Stories
Comp USA Stories
Consumer complaints about CompUSA
Fat Wallet Retailer Ratings
|| JM, 6:59 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of - for credit is like fire; when once you have kindled it you may easily preserve it, but if you once extinguish it, you will find it an arduous task to rekindle it again. The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear."
Socrates
|| JM, 6:55 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Fountain Flows Again

A local news update: they finally fixed the fountain in the park near me. Who cares, I'm sure you are saying by now, and I wouldn't blame you. I find interesting that one of the main features of the fountain are six ceramic sculptures representing war, pestilence, famine, death, greed and materialism. This sound uplifting, doesn't it? They are dominated by a large globe representing the triumph of knowledge and science....obviously designed prior to the Bush administration.
|| JM, 6:54 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Shopping Suggestions



Stocking Full Of Coal
"Know someone who's been more naughty than nice this year? Give 'em what they deserve -- stuff their holiday stocking with Coal Blackberry Bubble Gum! The outside of the box features phrases like "because you've been very bad" and "it's all you get" -- sure to send any guilty conscience into overdrive!"

Or if you are looking for a gift that has a bit more testosterone, this bit of bling bling many be more up your alley: Ballsies, the first line of jewelry that captures the essence of everyone's favorite baggy buddies. So you're a little shy, who cares? You don't need to get in everyone's face to show your strength. Wear your Ballsies low under your top and no one will ever suspect. But you'll know... You've got Ballsies!
|| JM, 6:52 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, November 15, 2004

New Product Update



I'm sure by now everyone has seen the boyfriend arm pillow. Apparently the guys were demanding equal time and came up with the girlfriend lap pillow. This is so much cooler than most of the novelty pillows that I normally see! Another nifty pillow choice would be this one for The Godfather fans.

And as long as we are talking about things we should carry at work that I'll never see, a look at the $20,000 suitcase. Perhaps this one is a bit overpriced, since there are very few customers for this type of thing. If you just want to be a little bit extravagant, perhaps this Burberry iPod case would be more your speed.
|| JM, 11:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Bye-Bye

Secretary of State Powell Resigns
Great, one of the few moderate voices that I used to respect in the Bush team bails out, not that we didn't see this one coming. I really liked Powell, right up to the point where he drank the Kool-Aid on Iraq, and started to sing the company line about WMD's. Heck, his support of the Bush agenda in his presentation to the UN "almost" had me thinking that they might be correct. But from that point on, Powell has been sort of a tragic figure, pushed aside from the inner circle, and kept on as window dressing. It's a shame, since he had much to offer both in his current position, and as a potential candidate, although we can probably kiss any thoughts of a Powell candidacy goodbye thanks to his association with Bush.

I fear that yet another right-wing ideologue will be nominated to take his place; more rope for W to hang himself with, but in the mean time the nation suffers. Democracy "used to be" about the free and open exchange of ideas, but this administration continues to line up "yes men" to fill key posts. They try to snuff out dissent as evidenced by the troubles experienced by Arlen Specter and the politicization of the CIA.
|| JM, 10:55 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"You make a living by what you get, you make a life by what you give."
Winston Churchill
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Auto Return?

The Strange World of AMC
Another nice site that chronicles some of the quirky weirdness that was the defunct American Motors. I always loved the Javelin, but all their other cars somehow missed the mark. You have to give them credit for trying to be different, something that doesn't happen all that much in today's homogenized corporate world.

As much as I love the new Mustang, I'm sad that the only way they could go was to try to replicate the past, although you could argue that they were just returning to a true vision of the legacy. With a pending revival of the Camaro, Autoblog asks: "What out of production car do you want back?"
|| JM, 10:08 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tasty!

The Jones Soda Holiday Pack Taste Test!
Since this was in virtually everybody's radar, and the overwhelming demand for this crap resulted in it being sold out, this review will have to suffice for the rest of us, unless you want to try to get it on eBay. I'll just have to be satisfied with the NEW spicy Pepsi!!
|| JM, 10:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Pop Tarts & Beer



What Wal-Mart Knows About Customers' Habits

A detailed look into The Evil Empire's data harvesting....Wal-mart, not Microsoft. 460 terabytes of data, $4 billion invested into information technology, all to predict that they will sell beer in Florida when a hurricane hits. That seems pretty much like a no brainer. Thanks to Today's Worth1000 photoshopping contest for the illustration.

More stuff from today's NY Times:

O.D.B: D.O.A.

FRANK RICH: On 'Moral Values,' It's Blue in a Landslide
A moral victory is nice, but a real victory would have been better.

The OTHER evil empire: Gates vs. Jobs: The Rematch
iPods continue to dominate the on-line music business, Bill Gates not a happy camper.

Store Mannequins Can Now Breathe Out
The Continuing Influence Of J-Lo, big butt mannequins!

Traveling the Too-Much-Information Highway
The perils of honest blogging

Catering to the Consumers With Animal Appetites
Apparently, your dog wants Omaha Steaks!
|| JM, 9:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting."
Fran Lebowitz
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Saturday, November 13, 2004

Hope I Tour Before I Get Old



The Who teaming up for new album
There was the time that I might have viewed this as great news, since I used to be one of the biggest Who fans around during their heyday and beyond. But there are many things that are fine within the context of the time they occur that simply look silly with the passing of time....mullets come to mind as an example. Aging rockers many times are as hip as the middle aged guy with the sportscar and the 2nd wife. Guys who are pushing retirement age, simply seem foolish and irrelevant singing about "teenage wasteland". Better to have fond memories, CSI theme songs, and Hummer commercials in my little pea brain than to further expunge their legacy by putting out a lame album (am I dating myself here by still referring to albums?) to be followed up by a tour "with the usual band". I suppose they will call it the "Who's Left" tour? Please don't become one of those bands that seem to do those endless "farewell tours" only to come back and do it again. Let me have my memories.
|| JM, 7:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

The Wit & Wisdom Of Homer

Grabbing a picture of The Who as an embellishment to my comments on that link had me stumble on their picture as they were rendered on The Simpsons. I have to take a moment to reflect on the wit and wisdom of Homer Simpson:

You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on every car!

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

God bless those pagans.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.


And for many more Simpsons moments, you really should visit Subtly Simpsons which has tons of the really witty moments from the show, broken down by category (Subtle Allusions, Sly Social Commentary, Wit, and Vocabulary) along with some explanations of the humor....in case you didn't get the joke....doh!
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."
Thomas H. Huxley
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More Moral Values:

The Expat: Gimmie That Old-Time Religion
Last week, the small county in northern Nevada voted 71 per cent for the re-election of President George W. Bush, whose campaign leaned heavily on fundamentalist Christian values such as opposition to same-sex marriage and abortion. On the same ballot, voters also crushed an effort to ban the county's legalized brothels by a margin of nearly 2-1...

'We voted 72 per cent for Bush and 63 per cent to keep the brothels.'"

hy·poc·ri·sy: The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.

So kiddies, let's review: what does "moral values" mean? 1. Shootin' queers. 2. Stoppin' abortions. 3. Goin' t' brothels.
|| JM, 7:35 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, November 12, 2004

Looking Back



Abandoned Stations
Given my love of history, nostalga, trains and transportation, it's no suprise that I'd think this site is awsome! Tons of info on the many closed, abandoned, and never completed parts of the NYC & Newark transit systems.

Some other interesting links in a related vein:The OLD Penn Station
Vintage NYC Postcards
New York World's Fair '64/65
The Lincoln Highway
World's Largest Roadside Attractions
Burma Shave Signs
Patio Culture
Disapearing Disney
|| JM, 7:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."
Dave Barry
|| JM, 7:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Obscure Chinese Proverbs

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it is insane.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will starve before mastering the skill, thus saving you today's delicious fish.
Go forth and boldly seek your fortune! Or go to grad school, I don't care.
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever and yet appears much wiser than he who asked five minutes ago.

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Interesting Advice

Captain SAFETY's Train Bonking Advice
A helpful handbook for those who want to to engage in sexual activity in a train station. Or, you might just want to stay home and take care of things, while promoting world peace.
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Quiz Time

Google Image Quiz
An addictive time waster, which grabs images from Google and asks you to identify the theme. Or, if you're in the mood for an easy quiz, this Courtney Love Quiz might be more your speed.
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Even More Yummy Stuff!



BooBee Juice Drink
"Absolutely original. The children love it." Of course; who doesn't love boobies?
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Thursday, November 11, 2004

More Yummy Stuff



KookyChow.com:A fine and distinguished gallery of rations for the curiously famished
Thank God they included a recipe! And an added bonus: it will satisfy you daily cholesterol needs for the next 12 days or so! Plenty of more wacky food products, including Schnookums and Meat(which ironically includes no meat), Gator Chowder, Instant Jellyfish, Fish Balls, and Monkey Gland Sauce!

And speaking of "good eatin", here's a roadmap to open a fried chicken restaurant.
Steve, Don't Eat It!
FARK:Everything's better with cheese!
When Good Food Goes Bad
Food Blogs
You Are What You Eat
Weird Food Facts
More Weird Foods...Tastes Like Chicken?
The Museum Of Burnt Food
|| JM, 9:38 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast."
Epictetus
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I'm loving it!



Japanese McDonalds Website
Ya' gotta love the hot new makeover of Ronald McDonald!

And to further chronicle fast food/corporate sillyness you could order this DVD of fast food training films. My favorite is the rap version of how to cook a Wendy's burger but who won't like to see McDonald's employees instructed on how not to be a-holes??
|| JM, 9:33 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Moral Values?

MAUREEN DOWD: A Moveable Feast of Terrorism
"During the campaign, President Bush and Dick Cheney gave the ominous impression that there was a dire threat that terrorists could incinerate Americans at any time if that powder puff John Kerry got anywhere near the Oval Office. We felt the hot breath of the wolf pack bearing down on us. But only a week later, the alarums have dimmed. The administration lowered the terror threat in New York and Washington yesterday, and the Capitol Hill police were dismantling the elaborate security checkpoints they had put on streets around the Capitol to thwart would-be bombers.....

Mr. Bush should quit fiddling around on the domestic side and revamp his war council and national security team. The Bushies can stop mentioning Osama's name and tell themselves that his last, less militant video was a sign of weakness, but it's just part of their dangerous denial. ...

Even as Karl Rove boasts that "moral values'' swept his boss back into the White House, it never seems to occur to the president that it's immoral to endanger our troops in a war shaped by the political clock, a war with no visible enemy, no coherent plan and no exit timetable."
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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Yummy



The Complete Holiday Meal Replacement
"Holidays can be busy and down right stressful. How can you squeeze in eating when you have much more important tasks like shopping, decorating, and partying? Well the makers of last year's popular Turkey & Gravy Soda have come up with a solution: the complete holiday meal replacement set equipped with a square meal, a straw, and a toothpick. Worried about packing on the holiday weight? Relax knowing that each flavor has no carbs, no calories, and no caffeine! Introducing 5 new, flavor filled, tasty holiday sodas: Turkey & Gravy Soda, Cranberry Soda, Mashed Potato & Butter, Green Bean Casserole, & Fruitcake Soda."
|| JM, 9:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously."
Peter Ustinov
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Six Feet Over

Six Feet Under-Takers
Dead Air for HBO.......Let the bad puns begin as the announcement of the end of the series "Six Feet Under" is made recently.
|| JM, 9:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sorry



Sorry Everybody
Over 1,000 photos showing the cream of American society begging forgiveness from the world. And if you want to be REALLY scared, a frightening letter to the editor.
|| JM, 9:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Another Curse?

The Curse of Tecumseh
Beating the curse (so far): GWB. Not looking forward to President Cheney, althought what the heck would be the difference....."ignore the man behind the curtain!" But if the curse falls upon the "winner" of the 2000 election, perhaps it's Al Gore that we need to worry about?
|| JM, 8:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Celebrated His Reelection

10. Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry.
9. Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills.
8. Thanked voters from all 59 states.
7. Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster.
6. Pretended not to notice his father's envious weeping.
5. Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions.
4. You know, the usual--watching wrasslin' and eating yodels.
3. Immediately started planning his 2008 reelection bid.
2. Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.
1. Asked for Laura's help with a very different bulge under his suit.
|| JM, 8:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Fixing The Disconnect

Fighting The Tide : Fixing The Morality Disconnect
"Liberals and Democrats are beginning to see why they keep losing ground amongst middle America.

The vast sea of red states give the impression that the GOP owns the Mississippi basin lock, stock, and barrel. This isn’t quite true, however, because plenty of those red states are being won by relatively narrow margins. But why are those states tilting red?

The short answer is the “moral” issue. The GOP media machine has painted a very distorted and dishonest picture: that Dems/libs are all a bunch of hedonists who hate God and Country but love sin and communism. Pure nonsense, but it has traction because the Democrats haven’t countered it.......

If the folks in the red states woke up and realized that Jesus told us to feed the poor (welfare), heal the sick (health care), render unto Caesar (pay your taxes), and be moderate (discourage greed and consumption), they’d start discussing morals the same way Dems/libs do. That there is more to morality than the limited list the GOP offers......."
|| JM, 8:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Rambling On.....Dogs!



In yet another pathetic look at my so called life, here is a picture of my dog's closet. Yea, go ahead; flame me, hate me, whatever. In my defense, it certainly wasn't my idea or my doing. A lame defense is better than none at all.

This morning I took Chelsea for a walk and she noticed a scrap of paper which I was able to steer her away from. Although I quickly forgot about it, she didn't and on the return trip managed to snag what turned out to be a lottery ticket. Once she had it, she wasn't about to let so of it. She was so proud and protective of her new acquisition, as if she expected it to be a winning ticket. I couldn't help thinking of the New Jersey Lottery commercial where the ignored but loyal dog buys a lottery ticket and wins the lottery, then rents a limo and flaunts his riches and bitches to his owners. I had to bribe her with a Milk Bone to get her to give it up.

More Dog Links:
How Dogs And Men Are The Same
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both mark their territory.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

Pictures Of Dogs...In Cars!
Women And Dogs
Flying Frisbee Puppy
FAMOUS PEOPLE'S DOGS
Top 20 reasons dogs don't use computers
The Five Types of Dogs In Chinese Astrology
Protecting The World One Dog At A Time
Reservoir Dogs
Are you ready to enjoy the perfect hot dog every time in just minutes?
"You never Sausage a thing" or maybe you have.....Jersey Dogs
|| JM, 8:21 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Dave Barry

More Famous Dog Quotes
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A Guy Walks Into The Bar...

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt outta here!" The man replies "No, I can't read the sign - I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog". The bartender is very flustered, and gives the man a beer on the house as way of an apology.

So later that day this guy is telling his friend about it - "I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!". And the friend takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says "The sign says no dogs allowed! Get out with that thing!" The friend says "I can't read the sign, I'm blind and this is my seeing eye dog." Bartender replies "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?" The man says "They gave me a Chihuahua?!!?
|| JM, 8:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Stuff We Can Learn From Dogs:

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
No matter how often you are criticized, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
|| JM, 8:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Monday, November 08, 2004

The New Model



A Manly Blog

BOB HERBERT: Voting Without the Facts
"The so-called values issue, at least as it's being popularly tossed around, is overrated. Last week's election was extremely close and a modest shift in any number of factors might have changed the outcome.....I think a case could be made that ignorance played at least as big a role in the election's outcome as values.....nearly 70 percent of President Bush's supporters believe the U.S. has come up with "clear evidence" that Saddam Hussein was working closely with Al Qaeda. A third of the president's supporters believe weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq. And more than a third believe that a substantial majority of world opinion supported the U.S.-led invasion.

This is scary. How do you make a rational political pitch to people who have put that part of their brain on hold? No wonder Bush won......"


Could the Blue States Secede?
HOW BUSH WON THE ELECTION
Brooks Brothers, Meet Wal-Mart
Or, how George W. Bush got himself re-elected.

Don't Fall For The Hype
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
Bertrand Russell
|| JM, 10:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Why Men Are Better Off

Since I've gone down the path to male chauvinism, could there be a better time to share this?
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
|| JM, 10:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Danger Zone

My motivations for doing a blog continue to evolve and confuse me. My first motivations were to post pictures of the doggie on the web. After discovering Buzznet, my excuse became to brush up on my HTML. That didn't last long, since like the cliche about riding a bike it came back quickly. Then my quest for an excuse took me back to high school, when I had a class that required me to keep a journal. As tough as that was for me then, I've always looked back fondly on that process and experience and thought blogging perhaps represented a way to find a voice and recapture some of the honesty and reflectiveness that my old journals provided. I'm normally not an emotionally open person, so I kept editing myself and deleting any honest and emotive blog entries out of fear of exposing too much, or offending friends & family. For the most part just doing a daily reblogging exercise was enough amusement for me.

Then the election came about, and although I've always felt that sex, politics, and religion should only be shared between consenting adults with similar interests and values, I found myself "exposing myself" from time to time and actually posting thoughts and feelings. Not a big thing for most people, but for me a big leap. Perhaps this might lead to more honest reflections from me on the blog, but time will tell.

I'm concerned that this might have broken down some walls. Yesterday at work a bit of honesty that wouldn't have been a big deal as an anonymous confession on a blog just popped out of my mouth in the course of normal conversation.

While reviewing some fashion magazines and having my female colleagues commenting on who's hot and who's not, I suddenly blurted out how the woman on the Toyota truck commercial (dressed in the Tomb Raider shorts & boots) drives me crazy. My co-worker said that when she talks about lattes she found her annoying too......but I had to clarify my position and explain that I didn't find her annoying but found her hot to the point that I wanted to throw her in the back bed of the Toyota pickup and take her there. The ensuing laughter made me think that I shared too much.

Memo to self: make those looks into your soul anonymously on-line to total strangers and not to co-workers.
|| JM, 9:57 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Sunday, November 07, 2004

The Sky Is Falling?



I hate to be CHICKEN LITTLE (shameless plug) and buy into all the conspiracy theories about the election being stolen, but it's tough to ignore all the reports of "irregularities" that took place this election. Let's hope this isn't some dark, orchestrated, sinister design to effect the outcome, but it does leave you scratching your head and wondering if it's not a possibility.

Black Box Voting
Hey, wha' happened?
Machine Error Gives Bush Extra Ohio Votes
Bigger Than Watergate! - How To Rig An Election
DOWN FOR THE COUNT
|| JM, 9:13 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Steven Wright
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Weird Names

Weird city/town names
Sadly, no Funkytown made the list, but you can plan a visit to:
Intercourse, Pennsylvania (been there, done that)
Assawoman, Virginia
Monkey's Elbow, Kentucky
Love Ladies, New Jersey
Hornytown, North Carolina....and many more fun destinations!
|| JM, 9:09 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Personality Profile



Which File Extension Are You?
A fun little quiz, with no redeeming value. Apparently I'm a JPEG, since I'm colorful, some times forget things....... I'm sure I had a point to make.....who wants gum?
|| JM, 9:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Corporate Fun!



Download these signs, print them and hang them in your office. Put them in normal places, where no one will suspect they're fake. Fellow employees willl be angry and frustrated feeling the unbearable weight of tiranic management on their backs. Managers won't dare remove them because there's always the possibility of it coming from someone higher than them. It's the ultimate office fun!
|| JM, 9:40 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Give Bush A Brain Game



Great fun; if only it were this easy IRL!
|| JM, 9:36 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."
Red Skelton
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The Road To Hana



Found this discussion thread and found it amusing. Anybody that's been to Maui has probably driven the road to Hana which is a very scenic, very narrow, meandering road that snakes to the far end of the island. Did I mention that it is narrow? We almost made it to the end with Charles Lindberg's grave as our destination, but as I was crawling along the side of a cliff in a rental Jeep, with no shoulder and no guard rail to the road, the vision of the Jeep dropping to the rocks far below became an image that was tough to shake. Combine that with the pleas of the wife to turn back, and bailing out became a no-brainer. Still, highly recommended. On the way back, be sure to reward yourself with a meal at Mama's Fish House!
|| JM, 9:30 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

TBogg: Gawd!

"I know this will seem mean-spirited, and I'm sure the Leslie's are perfectly nice people, but I'm sorry. These people are none too bright.

They are precisely the people the Bush campaign built its reelection strategy on -- people who would put faith-based moral values above every other consideration when it came time to vote, including the war in Iraq, terrorism, the economy and, in the Leslies' case, a life that has been in financial peril since Sept. 11, 2001......."
|| JM, 9:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

IQ and Politics

I'm not sure if this is accurate data, but it does make an interesting read. Republicans will claim it is a hoax, but it isn't hard for me to believe that this is true.
|| JM, 9:22 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Clark Obama 2008?

Potential candidates for 2008
As much as I'm in love with the concept of "Clark-Obama 2008", I really don't see much chance of this happening. But then again, Kerry didn't look like a contender even a year ago either (and please, no jokes about Tuesday.) Clark needs to get to work and build a base, ala Nixon and Goldwater after their losses. The only thing that troubles me is that he hasn't had any success in the political arena, but his performance as a "talking head" has been outstanding. He needs to run for something to remain relevant; the success of state governors in running for President (Carter, Reagan, Clinton, &W) suggests the path to take. Barack Obama's political potential is a no-brainer. Actually, I think he could lead the ticket, except that the lack of experience could be an issue like it was for John Edwards.
|| JM, 9:19 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Friday, November 05, 2004

Don't Ask Jeeves!



Questions Ask Jeeves Can't Answer:
How fast am I going?
What's the point?
Could you lay out my morning suit and tell my aunts Betty and Jemimah that I will join them in the drawing room?
What number am I thinking of?
Are we there yet?
|| JM, 8:20 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Hot Chair-On-Chair Action!



Furniture Porn
Welcome to the HOTTEST site on the Web for hardcore furniture action! If you're ready to see some hot, horny home furnishings get their freak on then you're in the right place!! You won't believe what our furniture will do! It'll make you pop your springs and throw your pillows!!
|| JM, 8:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."
Janeane Garofalo
|| JM, 8:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Don't Blame Me...I'm From A Blue State



Oh crap, so it begins. Yesterday's press conference did little to allay my fears about W2. His fessing up to wanting to spend his political capital was certainly no surprise. His acted like he had a mandate in his first term, this is the confirmation that he views this election as a landslide win. Don't look for any conciliation with the forces of the blue side of the isle anytime soon. ("I'll reach out to everyone who shares our goals".....so F' the rest of you). His arrogance and smirkness were even more difficult to take than usual, since this press conference amounted to gloating.

As one blogger points out:
1. This is the largest number of people who have ever voted AGAINST a president
2. 1% more than 50% is not a mandate but a bare, thin, majority.
3. At 80% approval after 9-11 and guaranteed a landslide election by prognosticators 2 years ago, only half the country supports him
4. A president who leads a divided country owes it to all Americans to lead fairly or have his party face the consequences beginning in 2006. No one else is here to blame.

His thin margin of victory isn't a mandate but this is an administration that seldom lets facts get in the way of their words and actions. His blustering is just more of the same kind of misdirection and distortion that we've seen from W in the past, in an effort to project the image of the invincible cowboy which plays so well in the red states.

As always, Paul Krugman makes the case more eloquently than I ever could.
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News From Whitehouse.org:

PRESIDENT'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH INVITING THE 55 MILLION AMERICA-HATERS WHO VOTED AGAINST GOD TO BEND OVER AND TAKE IT LIKE A PRISON BITCH

And lest we forget The Onion's take on things:
God Puts His Tool Back Into Office
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What Happened?



Notes From An Exile: How Did This Happen?

"America has become a nation I no longer recognize or understand. How did this happen?

It has gone from a country that was once a leader of the world in terms of courage, tolerance and civility to one that seems combative, aggressive and openly hostile to human rights. And try as I might, I cannot pinpoint the exact turning point. America, when did fundamentalist Christians hijack your country?

Now don't get me wrong here, a person's faith is their own business. And to have faith can be a good thing. A great thing. But not when it devalues the importance of open-mindedness and the ability to listen, to accept and acknowledge that there may be others of differing opinion.

Do you know what I think it is? You guys need to get out more. You need to see and experience what goes on outside your borders, for yourself. And I'm not talking about a little trip to Cuba for vacation. I mean actively living abroad and breaking down some of the prejudices and misconceptions that isolation naturally breeds."
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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Talk To Me



Talking to (and Like) the Blender
"Blendie is an interactive, sensitive, intelligent, voice controlled blender with a mind of its own. Materials are a 1950’s Osterizer blender altered with custom made hardware and software for sound analysis and motor control. People induce the blender to spin by sounding the sounds of its motor in action. A person may growl low pitch blender-like sounds to get it to spin slow (Blendie 2000 pitch and power matches the person) and the person can growl blender-style at higher pitches to speed up Blendie 2000."
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Buy Me



iPodlounge's Buyers' Guide 2004

These puppies finally came in at work, so now I'll be tortured seeing this little hunk of white beauty peering at me on a daily basis until I break down and buy one.
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Four More Years



I must stop obsessing about politics and get back to a more balanced point of view. I keep thinking that I will wake up soon and this will be a bad dream. But sadly, this seems to be real. On one level, I've accepted defeat, but on some other level I'm still in denial. But there appears to be no chance of finding Bobby Ewing in the shower this time, so I'll just have to suck it up and cope. It strains my sense of optimism to find anything good about the outcome of the election, other than to provide fodder for The Daily Show and other political comics. Time for the Democrats to start focusing on 2008. The ideal candidate: the intelligence of Kerry, the political savvy & sex appeal of Clinton, the emotional connection & communication skills of Barack Obama, and the the geographical appeal of Jimmy Carter. Not too much to ask for, is it? The next four years are crucial, we can't drop the ball again. My only hope is that a lame duck Bush, emboldened by what he views as a mandate will continue to pander to the right wing and paint himself into a corner that will bite him in the ass. The chances of this are slim, but I can dream, can't I?

A few more political links to allow me to work through my grief:

And Then They Voted
An Email Joke, but it does perhaps explain why we are in this position.

Stand & Fight

"Calling Karl Rove an architect of a campaign is kind of like calling Mengele a personal physician." FROM: Wonkette

From: Planetdan- Silver Linings
1. This particular Bush can never run again.
2. Now we'll be able to watch him crash and burn over the next four years, reserving our rights to shout "I told you so!" at the top of our lungs. That's always fun.
3. I've always kind of had the impression that I was smarter than the majority of the country. Now I have data to back it up.

Marry An American
"Legions of Canadians have already pledged to sacrifice their singlehood to save our southern neighbours from four more years of cowboy conservatism."

Bush 51%, Immorality 49%
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."
Muhammad Ali
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The New Political Map



New America Map
A Modest Proposal
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Divide And Rule

Divide and rule ... for now
"This election shouldn't even have been close. We have a president that has saddled the nation with record deficits and who has little clue on how to rein in spending. A president who inflicted upon the nation (and Iraq, and our allies) a costly and bloody war that should never have been waged. A president that has divided the country like none other, despite the unity we shared after 9/11. A president that has committed crimes against the environment, catered to his cronies at the expense of poor and middle class Americans, and turned virtually the entire world against our nation.

So how did Bush even get this far? By demonising an entire group of people -- gays and lesbians. By cynical appeals to religion. By slandering a true war hero. And, most importantly, by scaring people. You see, terrorists would detonate a nuclear bomb in a major city if Kerry were elected. Only Bush can protect us.......Unless the Republicans can engineer a recovery of epic proportions, they will have a great deal to answer to in the 2006 midterms and 2008. And God help Bush if this nation suffers another terrorist attack......But best of all, we'll continue to see this great resurgence in progressive activism - the kind not seen in American politics in over a generation."


Remember what the Goldwater conservatives did in 1964 -- work to build a conservative machine that has propelled Republicans to electoral dominance. Democrats have to dig in and do the same!
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

What To Expect



What To Expect In The Next Four Years
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Quote(s)-A-'Da-Day:

"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear."
Alan Corenk

"Politics is a choice of enemas. You’re gonna get it up the ass, no matter what you do."
George Higgins

"Now what kind of attitude is that, "these things happen?" The reason these things happen is that this country is just full of people who when these things happen, they say "these things happen" and that's why they happen!"
Ethel Merman as Mrs. Marcus in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

"While the people retain their virtue and vigilance, no administration, by any extreme of wickedness or folly, can very seriously injure the government in the short space of four years."
A. Lincoln, First Inaugural Address (yea, but what about eight?)

"The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who remain neutral in time of great moral crisis."
Dante
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Q & A:

From Cynical-C Blog: Question

Question: Can an inarticulate warmonger who seemingly doesn't care about the economy or workers and who is arguably the worst president in history be elected to a second term?

Answer: Looks like it.

Nothing has scared me more than thinking of that proctological orifice back in the white house for four more years without having to worry about being re-elected. Say goodbye to a woman's right over her own body. Say hello to a draft in a year or so. Say goodbye to any job that can be done over a network or phoneline from a third world country. Say hello to more invasions of random countries in the Middle East under the guise of whatever lie the administration chooses......"
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Two, Please...



Needless to say, the election results are not quite what I had expected. Looks like I'll need to take a few of these. I can barely imagine what this dumbass will do if he thinks he's been given a "mandate". It may take many years, but history will at some point tell us that we've made the wrong choice. Let's hope the consequences aren't as dire as I fear.
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Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Stuff Bush Has Lost



Let's hope we can add the 2004 election to this list!
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The essential cruelty of Bush's game is that he takes an astonishingly selfish and greedy collection of economic and political proposals and then cloaks them with a phony moral authority, thus misleading many Americans ... who have a deep and genuine desire to do good in the world...And in the process, he convinces them to lend unquestioning support for proposals that actually hurt their families and their communities...Truly, President Bush has stolen the symbolism and body language of religion and used it to disguise the most radical effort in American history to take what rightfully belongs to the American people and give as much of it as possible to the already wealthy and privileged."
Al Gore
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More Reasons

Mc Sweeney's: More War, More Rich, More Poor—More Hell on Earth: Reasons to Re-elect George W. Bush.

Compare The Candidates
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Election Day

NY Times: What to Do on Election Day
Bottom line....get out there and vote!
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Monday, November 01, 2004

Bark-O-Ween!



Yes, I am (reluctantly) one of "those people" who dress up their dogs for Halloween. I did see that look in her eyes on more than one ocassion that said, "Please, give me back my dignity". Chelsea felt the need to bark at every person who walked up to the door, and at anyone who even looked in the direction of the house. I crave silence right now. The clown costume was doomed to failure, with the ankle ruffles being the first to go. The hat didn't fare much better, but did make a few brief apparances for photo-op sessions. A few more shots of the fun and festivities are here.
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Dave Barry
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Countdown To The Vote!



Polling Place Locator: General Election, November 2nd, 2004

To find your polling place, learn on what type of machine you will cast your vote and get instructions on how to use that machine......

1-866-MYVOTE1 to report problems
1-866-OUR-VOTE (1-866-687-8683) for immediate legal assistance
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We Support....



Stupid Magnets!
"We believe that there is strong possibility that the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan might be a little far away or maybe even a little too busy to be checking out the pseudopatriotic magnet on the back of a 1986 Geo Metro as it drives down I-95 or sits in an Olive Garden parking lot......"
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Goth Update

GOTHS FOR BUSH
"To understand me all you need do is put the back of your hand to your forehead, I live through you. Can you not begin to feel my dark sensuality and sweeping sadness? I am so sad that George Bush is the president so I will vote for him as will the others in my group...... Many people lead unhappy lives and that is sad. Bush will continue the sadness."
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The Real Lynn Chenney

Lynne Cheney, Serial Hypocrite
"Everyone remembers Lynne Cheney's feigned outrage that John Kerry would mention the Vice President's daughter in his debate with President Bush. Supposedly Mrs. Cheney believes her family should be kept out of the Presidential contest and left to live their lives in privacy, right? ........At a campaign rally Sunday, Elizabeth, 7, wore a scary Halloween costume as the Grim Reaper. To howls of laughter, Lynne Cheney introduced Elizabeth as "John Kerry's health plan,"......Mary Cheney, thirtysomething adult, has made money...primarily because she's an out lesbian and her dad is Dick Cheney is, according to Lynne Cheney, off limits to political discussion. However, Lynne Cheney can use her 7 year old granddaughter as a combination runway model/negative political ad to attack the Democratic candidate for President. Family values my ass."
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Who Are 'Ya Gonna' Believe?



Can You Afford to Believe Bush and the Republicans on the Draft?
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