John's Blog

10. Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry.
9. Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills.
8. Thanked voters from all 59 states.
7. Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster.
6. Pretended not to notice his father's envious weeping.
5. Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions.
4. You know, the usual--watching wrasslin' and eating yodels.
3. Immediately started planning his 2008 reelection bid.
2. Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.
1. Asked for Laura's help with a very different bulge under his suit.