John's Blog

My motivations for doing a blog continue to evolve and confuse me. My first motivations were to post pictures of the doggie on the web. After discovering Buzznet, my excuse became to brush up on my HTML. That didn't last long, since like the cliche about riding a bike it came back quickly. Then my quest for an excuse took me back to high school, when I had a class that required me to keep a journal. As tough as that was for me then, I've always looked back fondly on that process and experience and thought blogging perhaps represented a way to find a voice and recapture some of the honesty and reflectiveness that my old journals provided. I'm normally not an emotionally open person, so I kept editing myself and deleting any honest and emotive blog entries out of fear of exposing too much, or offending friends & family. For the most part just doing a daily reblogging exercise was enough amusement for me.

Then the election came about, and although I've always felt that sex, politics, and religion should only be shared between consenting adults with similar interests and values, I found myself "exposing myself" from time to time and actually posting thoughts and feelings. Not a big thing for most people, but for me a big leap. Perhaps this might lead to more honest reflections from me on the blog, but time will tell.

I'm concerned that this might have broken down some walls. Yesterday at work a bit of honesty that wouldn't have been a big deal as an anonymous confession on a blog just popped out of my mouth in the course of normal conversation.

While reviewing some fashion magazines and having my female colleagues commenting on who's hot and who's not, I suddenly blurted out how the woman on the Toyota truck commercial (dressed in the Tomb Raider shorts & boots) drives me crazy. My co-worker said that when she talks about lattes she found her annoying too......but I had to clarify my position and explain that I didn't find her annoying but found her hot to the point that I wanted to throw her in the back bed of the Toyota pickup and take her there. The ensuing laughter made me think that I shared too much.

Memo to self: make those looks into your soul anonymously on-line to total strangers and not to co-workers.