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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Separated At Birth?

Just one of many Hollywood Muppets, a piece pointing out the similarities between our fuzzy friends and some famous celebs. Who knew that Fozzie Bear was related to Steven Wright? What a perfect excuse to review some of Steven's observations:
  • Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
  • If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
  • Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
  • I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  • Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
  • Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
  • My uncle was a clown for Ringling Bros. Circus, and when he died, all his friends came in one car.
  • I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
  • I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
  • If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
  • Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
  • The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
  • You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
    • Tags: , , ,
    || JM, 7:56 PM

    2 Comments:

    My old BF used to love, love, love Steven Wright.
    Blogger Liz, at 12:36 AM  
    How can you NOT love the guy? And as a special bonus, he was in both "Reservoir Dogs" (one of my faves) AND "Desperately Seeking Susan" along with Rosanna A, just to tie things together.
    Blogger JM, at 8:11 AM  

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