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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Trouble With Trekies

Just a few of the Things that have never happened on Star Trek:

  • The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered before.
  • The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all perfectly all right.
  • The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
  • An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
  • A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
  • The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
  • The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
  • The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.
  • The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.
  • The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th century.
  • A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
  • The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.
  • An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, "would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the quadrant."
  • Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so"!
  • Picard walks up to a replicator and says, "Coke on ice."
  • When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says "On screen."
  • Wesley saves the ship, the Federation, and the Universe as we know it, and EVERYONE is grateful (including the Net).
  • Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand up comedy routine.
  • The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
  • An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.
  • || JM, 9:24 PM


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