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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Friday, July 06, 2007

True Confessions

A little while ago I was in a workshop about teambuilding. The facilitator started the day with a little "icebreaker" where she ask each of us to tell the group an unknown event from our past. I was prepared to share a story about something that happened with a co-worker long, long ago much along the lines of the story told in this Confessions of an office pervert. But before I had my turn to present, another person told the story about how he was kicked out of high school for having an affair with his teacher. Unable, and unwilling to top that, I fell back on a much more "G" rated story for the group.

But if you've got an urge to satisfy any voyeuristic tendencies, don't miss True Office Confessions chronicling the confessions of the odd things that happen in the 9 to 5 world. A few of some recent gems:

  • I fantasize about sex at work. I also fantasize about work when I'm having sex.
  • How come popcorn only smells good whenever I cook it in the microwave at work? I mean, it's just regular popcorn. It wasn't grown at the same farm where Jack got his beanstalk beans from.
  • If it gets any cooler in my office I am going to cut a hole in my window with my hard as a rock nipple and let some warmth in.
  • You bet your ass I'm listening to internet radio. Fuck your bandwidth.
  • People! Use spell check on your resumes! And please stop naming your children these weird names. They may qualify for a job with me, but I will not call them for an interview. Oh and if you email is sexykitten @blah blah blah or Imastud DO NOT post it on your resume. After you leave we all make fun of your email and your obvious lack of sexiness.
  • || JM, 12:06 AM


    Sitting in an office all day with other people is like sitting in a window display. God, I don't miss those days at all!
    Blogger Liz, at 10:19 AM  
    I'll bet the guy with the teacher story was just making it up cause he wanted you to be totally impressed.
    Blogger Peacechick Mary, at 4:36 PM  
    Hi John, Neil here. Thanks for your welcome back comment over at my new place. Just linking you office pervert you...
    Blogger Neil Shakespeare, at 9:10 PM  

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