Since I'm too lazy to come up with anything, a few thoughts
For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously:
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!