John's Blog

Since blogging is largely like masturbation except without the mess, this next link makes the perfect fodder for a blog entry. Although it would make a great Halloween post, these instructions on how to make your own fun sized Candy Corn Dildo might be something you want to try out now, so that when the holiday rolls around you can whip up a batch with ease.

This could be the image changing sort of thing that candy corn needs. Lewis Black reminds us why we all hate it:

Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys out into the villages, to collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it! They wash it! I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, 'Here Lewis! This is corn that tastes like candy!' (takes it, eats it) ... 'This tastes like crap!' And every year since then, Halloween is returned and I, like an Alzheimer's patient, find myself in a room, and the room has a table in it, and on the table, is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it, as if I've never seen it before. 'Candy corn,' I think. 'Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait.' (takes it, takes a bite) 'SON OF A BITCH!'

Tags: candy, strange products, humor, sex-toys