Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!
"Virtual sex is not quite virtual anymore! The Virtual Sex Machine is the world’s first interactive real time sex system that gives you the virtual reality experience of having a sexual liaison not only with an adult video star, but also with your distant loved ones!...Use MagMag-HOLE with our original Virtual-STICK. You can enjoy virtual real time sex with your wife, girlfriend, or even with your friends!" Well, not ALL of your friends at least. No link to actually order...not that I was looking or anything.