Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!
On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.And an honorable mention goes to Wonkette who asks: "Why don’t GOP congressman use bookmarks? They don’t need to; they simply bend over the pages."
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"
I took a drink from my can of Busch Light, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied,
"I am. That's why she cuts the grass."