John's Blog

It takes two to tango, as well as to do the high five, an overdone celebration that may have jumped the shark according to this recent Man Law deliberation.

Although a far cry from the classic "Tastes Great/Less Filling" commercials from the past, these humorous "square table" discussions purport to sort out what is proper "manly" behavior. Luckily, there's a Man Code Wiki that chronicles what up to now, have been these unspoken rules. Just in case you were curious here's a few:

Men do not wear toe socks. This cannot be communicated any more explicitly: MEN DO NOT WEAR TOE SOCKS. It's like wearing women's underwear.

No man shall own more than five pairs of shoes. Exceptions to this rule include specialized shoes for sports, outdoors, occupation, or other manly activities.

Men do not wear outfits, Nancy. Men might wear "clothes that go together" but not "outfits". It's a semantics thing.

Men do not "diet". Men "get in shape".

Men do not go to the bathroom together. If nature calls two or more men in a group, only one may leave the group at a time.

A man should only occupy a urinal that is NOT immediately adjacent to another man. If there are no urinals available which meet this criteria, a line should be formed. There is one exception: if there is a privacy wall between said urinals which extends from the knees to the shoulders. Even with said wall, the buffer should be maintained if convenient.

Eyes forward at the urinal, Susie. There's no reason to be looking around in the men's room. Get in, do your business, and get out.

No talking in the restroom. Period.

Tags: laws, lists