Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the driver who was visibly intoxicated. "Ma'am, do you have a good reason as to why you're weaving all over the road"? The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."