John's Blog

From: Maybelline Kane
Subject: What time is it?

Hey, you, I'm blond, gorgeous, and I just turned 18! I set up a webcam in my bedroom so people could watch me 24/7! However, the more I thought about it, the more the whole thing seemed kind of creepy and demeaning. So I scrapped that idea.

- - - -

From: Confidence D. Riblet
Subject: engorge

Love life letting you down?

Can't SATISFY your woman?

Perhaps the two of you should sit down and discuss the issue. By opening the lines of communication, your relationship (and, not incidentally, your love life) will improve tremendously.

- - - -

From: Brent Ranch
Subject: final warning

Earn a *genuine* college degree based on taking classes!

Read books, write papers, take tests. It's hard work (except for Intro to Geology with Miller—that's a total blow-off), but you'll end up smarter and more well-rounded. Plus, you'll never again have so many opportunities to score.