John's Blog

On the phone number, Al Franken (Air America) also thought it was pretty cheesy not to have a toll-free no. that spells out something mnemonic, such as “1-877-Katrina.” So he called that number to see if it was available and got a phone sex line with a woman who calls herself “Katrina.” Undaunted, Al gave the operator his credit card info and waited ’til she came on. The whole thing was funnier than my summary, but the gist is that he told her who he was and asked if she’d be willing to give her number up so the government could use it.

Turns out she’s in Louisiana herself — and further, she had no sympathy for the hurricane victims! By her lights, her hard-earned tax dollars were going to be used to make the victims better off than she is. It sounded a bit like the lightly-coded racism of the old Reagan-era canard about “welfare queens” with their big TVs and Cadillac’s.

It also developed that she doesn’t own the phone number: the porno company she works for does (big surprise). Al asked her to stay on the line after the conversation so the producer could get the company’s name and contact info, but my impression is that she didn’t.

So, why don’t we have a contest to come up with the most appropriate and easily-memorized toll-free number...Here’s a start:
1-800-FAILURE
1-800-UP YOURS
1-800-I BLEW IT
1-TOO LATE NOW
1-800-EAT CAKE