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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Retail Tales

The Wonderful World of Retail
"Working in retail is equal to working in Hell. Although on second thought, working in Hell might be better, as you only have to serve Satan, as opposed to the dreaded "general public," who, more likely than not, make working for Satan seem like a glorious picnic in the park....It should be mandatory for every citizen to work in a retail environment for three months, kind of like military conscription. Only then can one truly appreciate what is going on in the mind of the salesperson on the other side of the counter. Abuse, ridiculous questions, clothing-strewn fitting rooms, security scrutiny, screaming children..."

Some entertaining memories that he shares. As with most people who have worked in retail, the thought "I could write a book" always comes to mind. A few weird incidents that I've observed:

  • Someone takes and fills all the cups in the China dept. displays with urine.
  • Woman "borrows" a knife and goes into fitting room and tries to end it all...she doesn't succeed and returns the knife to the package and the shelf before we realize what's going on.
  • Stock guy who turns a mannequin into his very own "real doll".
  • A PR appearance of costumed characters from a local amusement park. Three girls were wearing the costumes, two pretty darned cute. one not so much. I have to take them to the selling floor once they are dressed, since there isn't much peripheral vision when you are in the costume. While in the elevator, one grabs my ass. I'm still hoping it was one of the cute ones.
  • The public masturbator, who wears loose shorts, making it easy to whip out the equipment when the urge strikes.
  • The crossdressers
  • And too many "sex in the fitting room" stories to recall.

    • And for good measure, a few more stories:
    Retail Sucks
    Retail Holiday Horror Stories
    The Customer Is Always Wrong
    I Hate My Job!
    I Work With Fools
    || JM, 12:09 AM

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