stats count

John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Performance Anxiety

Annual Performance Review: Albert Einstein (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)

Even Albert Einstein got the occasional bad job evaluation. Here are a few more things you don't want to see on YOUR next evaluation:

  • "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
  • "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
  • "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
  • "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
  • "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
  • "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
    together."
  • "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
  • "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
  • "He's been working with glue too much."
  • "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
  • "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
  • "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
  • "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
  • "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
  • "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
  • "One neuron short of a synapse."
  • "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
  • "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
  • "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
    • || JM, 12:14 AM

    0 Comments:

    Post a Comment