John's Blog: The Freshman Mindset

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Friday, August 26, 2005

The Freshman Mindset

Beloit College issued it's annual mindset list for the freshman Class Of 2009. A few reminders that this year's class was born in 1987:
Andy Warhol, Liberace, Jackie Gleason, and Lee Marvin have always been dead.
They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors.
With little need to practice, most of them do not know how to tie a tie.
They never had the fun of being thrown into the back of a station wagon with six others.
They are more familiar with Greg Gumbel than with Bryant Gumbel.
Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker have never preached on television.
"Whatever" is not part of a question but an expression of sullen rebuke.
For daily caffeine emergencies, Starbucks has always been around the corner.
Bill Gates has always been worth at least a billion dollars.
There has never been a "fairness doctrine" at the FCC.
American Motors has never existed.
They do not remember "a kinder and gentler nation."
They never saw a Howard Johnson's with 28 ice cream flavors.

And McSweeney's reminds us what this list would have looked like for The Class of 1918:
They have no meaningful recollection of the administration of President William McKinley, and probably do not know that he had been shot.
They were but three years old when the Wright brothers first took flight at Kitty Hawk.
They have never lived in fear of an Indian insurrection.
Their life-time has always included Coca-Cola as a recreational beverage. A Coca-Cola has always cost five cents.
They were a mere eight years old when the Habsburgs acquired Bosnia and Herzegovina.
They have always known the luxury of the hand-cranked Victrola.
They shall never know war again, now that the War to End All Wars has forged a new era of world peace.

|| JM, 12:05 AM