Goodnight Moon. Because the bunny is wearing blue pajamas and we all know what that means.
Webster's Dictionary---Because it has all "those words" in it.
Roget's Thesaurus---Because it helps you find even more ways to say "those words."
The Pet Goat. Because even the hardiest freepers cringe when they think about Bush and those seven minutes on 9/11. Ticktockticktock...
Yertle the Turtle. Rick Santorum can't read it without fainting. It's just all male turtle on turtle on turtle...wriggling and writhing and wet. What's next...a "Pride" parade??
Richard Scarry's Best Counting Book Ever. Because math leads to science. Science leads to heathen claptrap like "evolution" and "global warming" and "stem-cell research."
Alice in Wonderland. Written by a pothead for potheads seeking to legitimize the reefer.
Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun. Actually...they can live with that one.