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John's Blog

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day....Teach him to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks!

Friday, September 30, 2005

The Lost Twin

Flora Bush: The Child Left Behind
"Flora Bush, the third Bush 'twin' has been hidden from the public her entire life-- but now that her dad ia a 'totally lame' duck, she can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS...and what she wants is to ROCK YOU with her debut EP, THE CHILD LEFT BEHIND!!"

And for more musical goodness featuring Dubya, be sure to check out The Party Party for some classics remixed.
|| JM, 12:15 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

Re-Birth Of The Blues

Delta Blues Poised For Biggest Revival Since 1915
From The Onion:
Blues historians report that Delta blues, an early blues form that arose in the Mississippi Delta region, is poised for its biggest revival since 1915. "Death, loss, heartbreak, isolation, hard luck—that's what the blues have been missing for decades," said music critic Joel Kushner. "But now, even the most sheltered, derivative Delta blues musician should have enough material to cut an album." The revival is heralded by the recent singles "FEMA Don't Come 'Round No More," "Category Five Woman Done Me Six Kinds Of Wrong," and "Talkin' Drownded Kin Blues."
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."
Gallagher
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Doggone It

Doggles Wearable Ionizer
"Doggles, the maker of goggles for dogs, has come out with a 'Wearable Ionizer', so that your dog can enjoy the benefits of germ-free breathing. It's the same kind of wearable ionizers that you might have seen some clean-air freaks use while sitting inside of an airplane." Yea, but will it remove that "doggie smell"?
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iBuy

Having gotten the eBay monkey off my back, I recently thought it would be safe to return there "for entertainment purposes only". That was about as effective as using the withdrawal method of birth control. There was a time when I was bidding on stuff that I really didn't need, just for the "thrill of victory" and to see my rating rise. Realizing the folly in that, and that I was overpaying just to win, I instituted a self-imposed ban on the site. But that bookmark kept calling out to me, and I gave in to my weakness. I'll blame it on my addictive personality tendencies.

I'm ashamed to admit that we were over at the neighbors for a short visit, and I did the "well, gotta go" routine primarily due to an items' auction ending soon. I always wait for the last possible moment to put in a bid, so that I don't run up the price, but with enough time that I can counter-bid if others have placed higher maximum bids. This strategy usually works, and this time was not an exception. I won, and I didn't overpay! Now the challenge becomes not stalking the UPS guy till it arrives and not letting it become a habit.
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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Little By Little

A consistently overlooked and underrated band, Harvey Danger just released a new album after a five year absence. And in a move that is sure to get them some attention, and some new fans they are making it available for downloading at their website! The zipped file includes all the music, artwork, liner notes that you would normally get. Their hope is that you like it enough to either buy a copy (which comes with a bonus disk) or send them a donation.

The album is growing on me, since it is a departure from their previous one "King James Version". For me, that will still be their best one, but this is a close second. A softer, more mature sound is present in their new work. A bit more "popish" with a bit more piano, and as always the clever and intelligent lyrics that gives this band a loyal, but cultish following. Let's hope that this catapults them into the mainstream.
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Low Prices?


Betty's Diet Plan (VIA The Huffington Post)
From the maker of the upcoming documentary WAL-MART: The High Cost of Low Price comes a take-off on their ubiquitous ad campaign.
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Link Dump

Maybe I'm lazy, maybe I'm just speechless, but I'll pass on the following links without comment:

God's Great Gift to Us
Of Zombies and Intelligent Design (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)
Storm Warning
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided."
Casey Stengel
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Sticker Shock


I Can't Afford My Gasoline (VIA onegoodmove)
A catchy little ditty to hum while you fill up your gas tank.
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Words and Light

I'm not sure why, but I've always been a big fan of Jenny Holzer. Perhaps it's her sound-bite recycling of cliches and truisms, or maybe it's the spectacle of seeing them projected on a large scale in a billboard like context. Maybe, it's just the message, but I've always found her works moving...no pun intended. My favorite was her installation a few years ago at The Guggenheim. Too bad , but I'll probably miss her current project scheduled to run through October 9th.
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Bad Job

The worst job: Teaching science in Dover
A view from the front: a report on the Dover Panda Trial...or is it The Scopes Monkey Trial, Chapter II?
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This Modern World


Tom Tomorrow: Rove reconstruction
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J...E...T...oh, crap!

Although I had read the speculation that Vinny Testaverde might be one of the journeyman QB's that the Jets would look at in the wake of the disastrous injuries that they suffered, never in a million years did I think that they would engage in a pigskin booty call and add him back to the roster. Boy, was I mistaken. I cringed when The Jets picked him up the first time, and I was proven wrong. I turned into one of his biggest supporters, even after his deteriorating performances seemed to be detrimental to the teams' fortunes. But I don't expect that they have re-signed the Vinny of '98 to the roster.

Don't get me wrong...there is nothing I would like more than to see an Earl Morrall-like resurgence of his career to lead the Jets to a storybook season. Well, there are a few things I can think of even if I can't discuss them here, but the one thing that they all have in common is that they are "unattainable fantasies".

From what I've seen, Bollinger is a capable, but under-experienced player, and I wish him well. But we all know that as soon as he falters (as he will), the temptation to start Vinnie will prove too great to resist. I hope that Pennington is able to successfully come back next season from this injury, but I have a nagging feeling that his best days as a professional are behind him. Please, let ALL these predictions be wrong, but it seems like it's going to be a good year for draft picks.
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Quote-A-'Da-Day:

"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Stupid!

THE BASIC LAWS OF HUMAN STUPIDITY
This explains so much. An interesting piece that fleshes out these basic laws of stupidity:
  • Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.
  • The probability that a certain person be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person.
  • A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or to a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses.
  • Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals. In particular non-stupid people constantly forget that at all times and places and under any circumstances to deal and/or associate with stupid people always turns out to be a costly mistake.
  • A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.
  • A stupid person is more dangerous than a bandit.
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    Separated At Birth


    Metachat: Separated At Birth? (VIA grow-a-brain)
    Too creepy to ignore, the question is which one is more mean-spirited? At least The Penguin smiled much of the time...or was that a grimace? Be sure to check out the Larry David/Jonas Salk SAB photos as well!
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, September 27, 2005

    Office Fun

    The Joy Of Tech: Office Gags!

    And Ian suggests that you make a game out of pulling off these office pranks to relieve the tedium of office life. Earn 15 points in one day, and you are a winner...or is that a weiner? A few of his suggestions:
  • To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
  • Walk sideways to the photocopier.
  • While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
  • Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, don’t want to have to repeat it.”
  • Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
  • After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, “The report’s on your desk, mon”. Keep this up for one hour.
  • At lunch time get down on your knees and announce “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
  • Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
  • In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am “See how I look in tights.”
  • Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “Ya wanna trade?”
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    Buttons!


    Little Blog Buttons (VIA del.icio.us / popular)
    Giving you the ability to add just about any annoying button you can think of to your blog!
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    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures."
    James Thurber
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    Can Do!


    Canstruction (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)
    Giving "going to the can" an entirely new meaning.
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    Special Powers?

    Testing slimming powers of tequila
    "Scientists from Mexico's tequila producing region say juice extracted from the blue agave plant, best known when distilled into the fiery spirit, may help dieters shed pounds". Wow, I knew from experience that tequila could make a woman look like a supermodel, but I never expected any scientific basis for it!
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    The Tainted Thirteen

    Beyond Delay
    Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) launched a website containing the report "Beyond DeLay: The 13 Most Corrupt Members of Congress" which details some of the unethical activities of the OTHER corrupt legislators in Washington. With Delay and Abramoff getting all the press, this site hopes to draw attention to some of the other ethical transgressions that should also should be exposed. Hopefully this might generate some outrage and cause other members of Congress to hold their feet to the fire!
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    Monday, September 26, 2005

    When Worlds Collide

    Being a big Star Trek fan, I was quite surprised to find out that Kirk and the crew had visited Mayberry! It only makes sense, since both were produced by Desilu. In the event anyone else cares, a few related and obsessional links for your time-wasting pleasure:
    Mayberry RFD FAQ
    The REAL Mayberry
    Star Trek Wiki
    TV Spin-offs
    TV Crossovers
    TV Crossover Grid Key
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Curb Your TV Habit

    Great start to a new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm last night. It's like having an old friend back again. An annoying friend, but one who has their heart in the right place, and is always fun to have around. A guy who I went to college with comes to mind. Annoying, but without the funny payoff.

    It looks like the show hit the ground running after the slightly disappointing season 4 "Producers" arc. Probably the only show on TV that could mine comic moments from someone having a stroke. Loved seeing Larry's trials and tribulations with scalped tickets to temple, sandwich woes, sex & phone calls and of course Mrs Seiderman. As always, things build to a hilarious conclusion.

    The tagline on the HBO site probably sums it up pretty well: "Deep inside you know you're him". Yea, except that I usually keep it to myself. Larry always gets to say the things that most of us think, but decorum and experience prevent us from sharing. Although the other day in a meeting my verbal restraints were apparently turned off, and in response to a pretty stupid statement by a colleague I blurted out a remark that would have been worthy of Larry. Rude, but hey...it got a big laugh.

    And a nice piece of scheduling that has "Extras" following Curb for a comedy power hour. Ricky Gervais portrays a wonderfully lovable loser that makes this another must see show. Just what I need...yet another show to add to my TV viewing list. My goal is to watch less TV, not more. Kate Winslet as a phone sex coach in last nights' episode had me in stitches...a side of her I hadn't considered (comedy that is...not phone sex).
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    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life."
    Dalai Lama
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    Dubya The CEO?

    He's no Warren Buffett (VIA skippy the bush kangaroo)
    The Toronto Star points out the fallacy of "The CEO Presidency". Yet another case of the emperor not wearing any clothes.
    "The legacy of the Bush administration may well be that government can no longer be entrusted to business people....Many of the most prominent CEOs in the current administration aren't real business people at all, but faux CEOs who after a lifetime in politics cashed in on brief stints as trophy CEOs at Fortune 500 firms before returning to public life in George W. Bush's White House....

    Just the same, future historians will make the connection between the most CEO-heavy administration in memory, headed by the first MBA president (Harvard, no less), and a White House of unsurpassed fiscal recklessness, flawed strategic thinking, failure to execute even on its best ideas (its unrealized goals of education reform and energy self-sufficiency, for instance), and a stubborn unwillingness to change course when conditions dictate...

    If only the U.S. were run more like a business, was the Bush/Cheney mantra in 2000; then America would be a more contented kingdom. But a sustainably prosperous business doesn't hand vital tasks to cronies, fail to vet its suppliers, starve essential employees of job fulfillment, or blame its shortcomings on bogeymen. It's a pity the GOP running mates didn't say what kind of business they had in mind — the managerial prowess of a General Electric Co., or the train-wreck of Enron Corp.
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    Introverts' Rights?

    The Care & Feeding Of Introverts
    In the event you need insight on this misunderstood and maligned species.
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    Sunday, September 25, 2005

    Hot Pursuit

    Mini Gate
    Conceptual art meets practical joker...Hilarity ensues.
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    Worst President Ever?

    Harrison vs. Bush (VIA Hoffmania!)
    "BUSH SCORES EASY FIRST ROUND SWEEP! Faux Republican Harrison’s compassion and balanced world-view are no match for the 43rd president’s killer combination of entitlement, inaction and poor motor skills."

    And the hits just keep on 'commin...
    Texas trip cancelled because it was...too sunny.
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    Double Take


    Look Alikes
    I was surfing through Google images looking for a pic to do a "separated at birth" shot, when I found this shot of Stanley Kubrick & Salman Rushdie. This site contains a ton of other excellent look alike images which put my feeble attempts to shame.
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    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Everyone is entitled to an opinion... What most people fail to realise is that they are not entitled to have that opinion taken seriously."
    Adam Tinworth
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    Urban Legend Redux

    Lights Out!
    For those who were concerned about the "Blood" initiation weekend, a bit of debunking. I couldn't convince people at work that this just screamed "urban legend" so perhaps this might persuade them.
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    Friday, September 23, 2005

    PS Propaganda


    Fun with Propaganda
    The Worth1000 photoshop contests are always a cut above, and contain work which is technically well executed, and pretty damn funny as well. This remixing of classic propaganda posters is certainly no exception. Many fine entries.
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    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."
    John Stuart Mill
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    News Flash

    I keep seeing the The National Inquirer's coverage of Bush hitting the bottle again mentioned all over the place. Far be it for me to question the journalistic integrity of a paper which has a history of covering UFO's and celebrity scandal, but you would be able to take this far more seriously if this had come out of a more traditional news outlet. Then again, those mainstream sources haven't been all that they've been cracked up to be either. And as sleazy as the Inquirer may seem, their track record ain't all that bad.

    But it really doesn't tax the imagination that Duyba would go down this path again. Given his history of booze and blow, and the dark clouds that have been hanging over the White House, the only question is why didn't he start sooner? It explains his reported bad temper, emotional outbursts, and maybe even some of the questionable decisions he's made..probably not that last one. Then again, at least he doesn't have an imaginary friend.

    And a MUST SEE link : the Unqualified Successes of George W. Bush's Two Terms in Office (So Far)!
    || JM, 9:24 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Insert Correct Change

    iPod vending machine (VIA Grow-a-brain)
    Now I've seen everything. And a few more THINGS YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY EXPECT TO FIND IN VENDING MACHINES.
    || JM, 9:24 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    TV Time

    Once again, I've caved in to my weakness for TV. After the last season of The Apprentice I pretty much felt it had jumped the shark and I had promised not to watch another season. Apparently, I'm all talk since I tuned-in and watched last night's premier and I'm probably hooked for another season. At least I avoided the Martha S. version.

    Last night's show was OK, nothing earth shatteringly new. Some of the same 'ol stereotypes appeared again (crazy obnoxious chick) and a few were missing (no bowtie guy, no Asian women). I'm not too surprised to see the Donald fired the one he did, she might have had the chance to survive but her own performance in the boardroom gave him no other choice.

    Again, product tie-ins galore promise to be a weekly event. I see that the rollout of the DVD for Revenge of the Sith will be featured in an upcoming show. Until then we can get a taste of when worlds collide via the short film The Sith Apprentice (well...not short enough...but still cute).
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    Wednesday, September 21, 2005

    Bush Strategy

    Tom Tomorrow: This Modern World

    And an analysis of how Dubya's policy making machine functions from John Howard (via Shakespeare's Sister):
    As grossly incompetent as our current administration is, they seem to be really good at getting away with that incompetence. And the last few weeks, I've realized how it is they do that. It's actually really simple, but complex in its simplicity. It seems that the strategy, or strategery, if you will, is to do so many things so badly that it's impossible to focus on just one...

    Maureen Dowd offers up her take on the subject:
    There's nothing more pathetic than watching someone who's out of touch feign being in touch. On his fifth sodden pilgrimage of penitence to the devastation he took so long to comprehend, W. desperately tried to show concern. He said he had spent some "quality time" at a Chevron plant in Pascagoula and nattered about trash removal, infrastructure assessment teams and the "can-do spirit." "We look forward to hearing your vision so we can more better do our job," he said at a briefing in Gulfport, Miss., urging local officials to "think bold," while they still need to think mold.

    Mr. Bush should stop posing in shirtsleeves and get back to the Oval Office. He has more hacks and cronies he's trying to put into important jobs, and he needs to ride herd on that...

    Mr. Bush's "Who's Your Daddy?" bravura - blowing off the world on global warming and the allies on the Iraq invasion - has been slapped back by Mother Nature, which refuses to be fooled by spin. When Donald Rumsfeld came out yesterday to castigate the gloom-and-doomers and talk about the inroads American forces had made against terrorists in Afghanistan and Iraq, he could not so easily recast reality.

    In Afghanistan, the U.S.'s handpicked puppet president is still battling warlords and a revivified Taliban, and the export of poppies for the heroin trade is once more thriving. Iraq is worse, with more than 1,900 American troops killed. Five more died yesterday, as well as four security men connected to the U.S. embassy office in Mosul, all to fashion a theocratic-leaning regime aligned with Iran. In Basra, two journalists who have done work for The Times have been killed in the last two months.

    The more the president echoes his dad's "Message: I care," the more the world hears "Message: I can't."
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    Good Dog

    The McMansion trend continues in my neighborhood. When I went to work, I noticed that a large load of lumber had been delivered to the yard of a neighbor. I just assumed that they were having a deck built. I was just a little bit surprised when I returned at night to see that they had ripped off the roof, and had started to frame out the floor of their new 2nd floor. The wife was quite impressed that when you ask Chelsea what was going on there, she would answer "Roof"! I'll worry if she can describe the rest of the project!

    Hey, it gave me an excuse to download and try out a cool new Mac program, Comic Life which allows you to make comic strips ,cards, and photo albums via a super easy drag and drop interface. A bargain at $25, although I'm still being a stingy bastard and using the evaluation version.
    || JM, 12:21 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
    Steven Wright
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    What Stays in Las Vegas

    Drink At Work: Weekly Eye Opener
  • Realizing far too late that not just any mentally-handicapped man can help you count cards in blackjack.
  • Taking a vow of “pizzazz” after your visit to the Liberace Museum, only to later learn that “bejeweled cravat” and “Senior VP of PriceWaterhouseCoopers” do not necessarily mix.
  • Slowly sensing your “sure-fire” gambling system relied on far too many factors, one of them being that God had your back.
  • Hurling your room keys, then your panties, and then your 56-year-old fat-ass self on stage during a Tom Jones concert.
  • Spending the first two hours of your vacation playing high-stakes poker and the next five days playing nickel slots.
  • Picking up a hooker simply because if anyone knows how to suck the coins out of a pay phone it would be her.
  • || JM, 12:17 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Flavorful


    Nihilist Chewing Gum
    "We believe in nothing! So stop what you're doing and start chewing!

    You can always count on Archie McPhee for amuzing gifts and novelities. Also featuring a wide range of bacon/meat theme products. Yummy.
    || JM, 12:14 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, September 20, 2005

    To The Moon Alice?

    It's a sad day when I greet the news that NASA plans a return to the Moon within 13 Years with skepticism and disapproval. As a child, I viewed astronauts and the moon mission as heroic with the kind of reverence that is usually devoted to sports stars (back when they were role models). To the baby boom generation, this quest represented the "can-do" spirit of America at it's best, the one where anything was possible. Those were heady times. And then a few events changed our perspective. Our recent history of space disaster, our disastrous foreign policy, and the pressing needs of our current domestic problems come to mind.

    I'm not saying that we should nail the shutters on NASA and bask in the glory of the trophy case of our past achievements. I feel we need to continue an active space program. But I question our motivations. W floated this trial balloon as part of his re-election campaign. In much the same way as he has misappropriated emotions surrounding 9-11, the "war on terror", and even WWII, he now tries to wrap himself in a Kennedy-like optimism. Why not a retro-Apollo program? Hey, Detroit doesn't have that many good ideas except to recycle old successes so why not use the same strategy.

    Until we start coming to grips with how we can pay for what we have already committed to, I can't take this seriously. Roll back the tax cuts for the upper income brackets, and then maybe we can talk.
    || JM, 11:11 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Old Iron Online


    The Old Car Manual Project (VIA Bifurcated Rivets and Hemaworstie)
    Thanks, I needed that. A nice collection of old car manuals and pictures of classic and not so classic cars for today's healthy dose of nostalgia.
    || JM, 9:02 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
    Winston Churchill
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    The Prophet of FSM


    Touched by His Noodly Appendage (VIA Cynical-C Blog)
    An interview with the Prophet Bobby Henderson, the voice of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism..."Believers of the FSM are normal people, living normal lives. Certain rituals must be followed, however, most of them having to do with pasta and/or pirates. Random acts of piratical expression are encouraged. Flipping off a stranger, for example, would not only be hilarious, but would also go a long way in pleasing Him, bringing you that much closer to FSM heaven, which, among other attractions, features a Beer Volcano."
    || JM, 8:59 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    All The News...

    "We appreciate your taking the time to write to us about TimesSelect and we'll be sure to pass along your comments or questions to the appropriate people. We have a lot of questions right now, so it may take as a little while to get back to you. Thank you for your patience." Yea, sure. I know it's an automated response, but please don't mistake me for someone with patience. The new "Times Select" feature of the NY Times, which restricts content to web users who pay a fee really sucks. Apparently I'm not the only one who is frustrated.
    || JM, 8:58 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, September 19, 2005

    Kerry On

    Senator John Kerry's Speech at Brown University
    A great speech; so why couldn't he have been this eloquent on the campaign trail?
    Katrina stripped away any image of competence and exposed to all the true heart and nature of this administration. The truth is that for four and a half years, real life choices have been replaced by ideological agenda, substance replaced by spin, governance second place always to politics. Yes, they can run a good campaign -- I can attest to that -- but America needs more than a campaign. If 12 year-old Boy Scouts can be prepared, Americans have a right to expect the same from their 59 year-old President of the United States....

    Katrina is a symbol of all this administration does and doesn't do. Michael Brown -- or Brownie as the President so famously thanked him for doing a heck of a job - Brownie is to Katrina what Paul Bremer is to peace in Iraq; what George Tenet is to slam dunk intelligence; what Paul Wolfowitz is to parades paved with flowers in Baghdad; what Dick Cheney is to visionary energy policy; what Donald Rumsfeld is to basic war planning; what Tom Delay is to ethics; and what George Bush is to “Mission Accomplished” and "Wanted Dead or Alive." The bottom line is simple: The "we'll do whatever it takes" administration doesn't have what it takes to get the job done.

    This is the Katrina administration.,,

    Today, every American knows the name Katrina -- and once again we know our government was undeniably unprepared, even as Americans have shown their willingness to sacrifice to make up for it. But in these uncertain weeks of Katrina's aftermath, we must ask ourselves not just whether a great country can be made greater -- the sacrifice and generosity of Americans these last weeks answered that question with a resounding yes.

    No, our challenge is greater - itÂ’s to speak out so loudly that Washington has no choice but to make choices worthy of this great country - choices worthy of the sacrifice of our neighbors in the Gulf Coast and our troops all around the world. What's in it for all of us? Nothing less than the character of our country - and your future.
    || JM, 10:56 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."
    Franklin P. Jones
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    Sunday, September 18, 2005

    Let's Monkey Around


    Monkey Slot Machine
    (VIA WFMU's Beware of the Blog)
    Strangely addicting! And a few more monkey links to round things out:
    Monkey Porn
    Monkey Hot or Not
    Trunk Monkey Commercials
    Sea Monkeys
    Britney Spears Versus The Techno-Spawn Monkey
    Hoboken Monkey Boy
    Missing Monkey...or Olsen Twin?
    Martial Arts Monkey
    How TO: Spank a Monkey
    || JM, 10:38 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Burma Shave

    I've waxed nostalgic about Burma Shave before, but a recent Metafilter post caused me to recall these old chestnuts again:
    Farewell o verse
    along the road.
    so sad to see
    you're out of mode.
    || JM, 10:36 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous."
    Henry B. Adams
    || JM, 10:35 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    1-800-Eat Cake

    1-800-EAT-CAKE (VIA skippy the bush kangaroo)
    On the phone number, Al Franken (Air America) also thought it was pretty cheesy not to have a toll-free no. that spells out something mnemonic, such as “1-877-Katrina.” So he called that number to see if it was available and got a phone sex line with a woman who calls herself “Katrina.” Undaunted, Al gave the operator his credit card info and waited ’til she came on. The whole thing was funnier than my summary, but the gist is that he told her who he was and asked if she’d be willing to give her number up so the government could use it.

    Turns out she’s in Louisiana herself — and further, she had no sympathy for the hurricane victims! By her lights, her hard-earned tax dollars were going to be used to make the victims better off than she is. It sounded a bit like the lightly-coded racism of the old Reagan-era canard about “welfare queens” with their big TVs and Cadillac’s.

    It also developed that she doesn’t own the phone number: the porno company she works for does (big surprise). Al asked her to stay on the line after the conversation so the producer could get the company’s name and contact info, but my impression is that she didn’t.

    So, why don’t we have a contest to come up with the most appropriate and easily-memorized toll-free number...Here’s a start:
    1-800-FAILURE
    1-800-UP YOURS
    1-800-I BLEW IT
    1-TOO LATE NOW
    1-800-EAT CAKE
    || JM, 10:34 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Blog Dog


    More dog humor, courtesy of Mathew at A Complete Waste Of Time.
    || JM, 10:31 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, September 16, 2005

    Flood Relief


    Thanks to Freakgirl for pointing out that a new edition of "get your war on" has now been posted!

    And I said I wasn't going to watch W's speech tonight, but I couldn't resist the urge to take a look. Not sure who is handling the "image" issues for him recently, but they are doing "a heck of a job" too. Lets see...photo opp at an oil refinery to remind people of my links to big oil...check. Make speech in front of a statue of a horse, reminding people of the qualifications of my ex FEMA director...check. Wear a shirt the same color as the backdrop so I appear to be a floating disembodied giant head...check. Make sure the camera angle makes it appear that you are looking down at the American people...check.

    Nothing new really offered up with this speech, but did anybody really expect that? We now return to our regularly scheduled program: "Spin City".

    Paul Krugman, as always has a more thoughtful and thorough analysis in today's NYT op-ed piece: "Now it begins: America's biggest relief and recovery program since the New Deal. And the omens aren't good..."
    || JM, 12:08 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation."
    Adlai E. Stevenson
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Odd Sign


    Chris at Rude Cactus offers the following insightful observations:
    Take a look at this street sign from my neighborhood. It caught my eye as we were taking a walk the other day. Notice anything odd about the kid? The outfit, perhaps?

    What I'd most like to know is this - why are there kids from the 1930s playing in my neighborhood? Or is this a special play area for all those kids who constantly get told your momma dresses you funny?

    Either way, I know why the kid's running. If you're wearing that, you're going to get your ass kicked. It's more of a Children Kicking Other Funny Clothes-Wearing Kids' Asses Zone.

    There's a third possibility - elves. We could very well be living around a hidden pocket of elves without knowing it. And if there are elves, I wanna know. We got a score to settle.

    Whether it's child or elf, I'm slightly distrubed at its apparently detatchable head.
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    SCOTUS


    From the Flickr gallery of Agi T. Prop, some nice Photoshop work!

    For more "related fun" , Shakespeare's Sister brings us a caption contest as well as pointing us to an excellent entry on W's "apparent merging of his ADD and Great Man of History pretensions." (For the record: nothing fun or funny about being on the precipice of nominating a fast talking, stealth conservative lawbot to fill a lifetime appointment for a very long time.)
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sit...In The Corner

    tenacious: te·na·cious
    adj 1: stubbornly unyielding; "dogged persistence"; "dour determination"

    Make that "doggie persistence". For over an hour this evening this was the view I saw when I looked into the front vestibule. Apparently, a bug had crawled across the floor and ran into the crack between the baseboard and the tile. Chelsea went into battle mode, except that her insect combatant stayed safely out of reach. Did that stop her? No way! She just camped out in there, with her nose pressed into the corner, sighing and occasionally making a noise that can best be described as a cross between a growl and a whimper. Even the prospect of a treat did nothing to dissuade her from her vigil. Apparently, my dog has a longer attention span than I do!

    And since we are on the subject of pets, here's a link to a cute clip of a cat answering the phone. Not quite as warm and fuzzy is the link for Doggie Bags (VIA Attu sees all)
    || JM, 12:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Thursday, September 15, 2005

    Rock, Paper, etc.


    RPS-15 (VIA Bifurcated Rivets)
    Taking "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to a whole new level. My head hurts. Even the regular version has me shaking my head in disbelief:

    RPS World Championships
    Play RPS
    Paper, Scissors, Rock
    Rock, Paper, Saddam
    Rock Paper Scissors Spock Lizard
    Scissors Paper Stone
    Strategy Guide
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Maybe Not


    Sometimes, things aren't always as they seem:
    Nice Tits
    Man with Big C*ck
    Welcome To PenisLand
    Molestation Nursery
    Pencil Sharpener Imposters!!!
    Famous Impostors
    Fake or Foto?
    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."
    Kurt Vonnegut
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

    It was great to see Kurt Vonnegut last night on The Daily Show. Jon Stewart put it well when he said "As an adolescent, he made my life bearable." His list of Liberal Crap I Never Want To Hear Again was a bit disappointing. Like his books, I guess I prefer his older stuff. The preview of A Man Without A Country looks interesting, and I'm sure I'll get it...at some point. Another excuse to shop eBay. Till then, a sample of an older piece:
    Many years ago, I was so innocent I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so many members of my generation used to dream of. We dreamed of such an America during the Great Depression, when there were no jobs. And then we fought and often died for that dream during the Second World War, when there was no peace.

    But I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America’s becoming humane and reasonable. Because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.
    || JM, 12:02 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    W, Me Worry?

    Bush approval at lowest level of his presidency
    It's not a surprise that Bush's approval rate has plummeted. What IS a surprise is that there are enough wingnuts to give him a 40% approval rating. It's hard to imagine what it would take to shake their confidence. My guess is that gay marriages, or an Al-Qaeda attack on US soil might get their attention. But even then, I think that there is a hardcore base that just can't be shaken. And since we don't live in a country with a parliamentary system (which seems like a good way to go these days) these poll numbers don't mean that much. Smirky will probably be able to bounce back some, even if he's transformed into an ineffectual lame duck. My only hope is that the Democrats don't drop the ball on this, and are able to reap some benefits at the midterm elections. I'm not asking for miracles, just a few seats here and there would be nice, but I'll hold on to the unrealistic hope of changing the balance of power in congress.
    || JM, 12:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Wednesday, September 14, 2005

    Arrr!

    I might as well get this out of the way now, since I know I won't be able to avoid the temptation to link to the upcoming Talk Like A Pirate Day 2005, which takes place on September 19th. To get you in the spirit of things, a few Pirate pick-ip lines:

  • Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
  • Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
  • Come on up and see me urchins.
  • Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
  • I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
  • Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
  • How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
  • Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
  • Well blow me down?
  • Prepare to be boarded.
  • I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
  • Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
  • That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
  • Let's get together and haul some keel.
  • That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.


  • In for a penny, in for a pound, so before we weigh anchor on the subject a few more bilge-sucking pirated links:
    Pirate Glossary
    PiratePhrases
    Captain Blackskull
    Pirate Speak Translator
    Gangstah to Pirate Glossary
    Pirate Booty
    How Piratey be I?
    Damn; There's a Flickr gallery for just about everything!
    Get your iPatch
    Pirate Limericks
    || JM, 9:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer."
    Dave Barry
    || JM, 9:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    NOLA Update


    Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth
    "On Tuesday, Halliburton received a $110 million no-bid government contract to pry the gold fillings from the mouths of deceased disaster victims in the New Orleans-Gulf Coast area. 'We are proud to serve the government in this time of crisis by recovering valuable resources from the wreckage of this deadly storm,' said David J. Lesar, Halliburton's president. 'The gold we recover from the human rubble of Katrina can be used to make fighter-jet electronics, supercomputer chips, inflation-proof A-grade investments, and luxury yachting watches.'"

    And Tom Tomorrow's take on What went wrong?
    || JM, 9:01 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Supreme Limericks

    Madcane: Judge John Roberts Limericks (VIA onegoodmove)
    After watching much of the morning yesterday watching the confirmation hearings of John Roberts, I was ready to bang my head into a wall. Madeleine Begun Kane had a better idea:

    Though Judge Roberts is getting a hearing,
    To measure his outlook and bearing,
    He's determined to hide
    Views that Dems can't abide.
    His convictions he simply ain't sharing.

    Judge John Roberts is smooth and quite smart.
    Unlike Bork, he's not testy or tart.
    But we still do not know
    What he'll do about Roe.
    He's declined to his viewpoint impart.


    And The Limerick Savant has something to say on the subject as well:
    'Til Roberts becomes the Chief Ump,
    His answers are likely to stump.
    'Nless we bite, you can bet
    We won't know what we get.
    He's choc'lates and we're Forrest Gump.
    || JM, 9:00 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Speedbump

    Test Your Connection Speed (VIA Off On A Tangent)
    Test your connection speed! Now I know, although I'm not quite sure what I can do with this information. Complain? Brag? Use it as filler for a blog entry? Nice to know in case someone asks.
    || JM, 8:56 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Tuesday, September 13, 2005

    Deer Vs. Car

    Let's call this one a draw. It could have been much worse for both parties. Last night I had to drop off my car at the repair shop, and the wife followed me to bring me back. We were just about home when into my peripheral vision comes a deer heading right for us. My cry of "Look Out" enabled her to hit the brakes and almost stop, which meant we hit the deer at a pretty slow speed. The low front end of the Miata just scooped it up and flipped it on to the roof of the car. Luckily, we had put the top back up earlier or it would have been right on top of us. It bounced off the top like a trampoline and went into the other lane of traffic. As fate would have it the person in the other lane avoided hitting it again.

    So now I get out of the car and call the cops to tell them that there is a dead deer lying in the road. As I'm on the phone trying to convince them that this is something they might want to send someone over to deal with, the deer stands up. Dazed, yes, but after a moment he runs off. I'm sure he had a bit of a headache. The car; dented, but drivable.

    From the "locking the barn door after the horse is gone" department come this article on how to avoid it. Not that I think it provides that much helpful advice...

    "Learn to identify high-risk situations." Oh; like driving in my neighborhood?

    "Understand that most beasts are social beings." Ok, next time I'll invite it over for drinks afterward.

    "When it comes to large animals avoidance is best."DUH...wish I had thought of that. And I thought I was Mr. Obvious.

    "Practice dodge-dodge in a large deserted parking lot." Oh yea; that might be as much fun as the time I taught the wife to drive a stick shift. We should just skip this step and call the lawyer and have him draw up the divorce paperwork before we go through that torture.
    || JM, 7:50 AM || link || (2)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:


    "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
    Douglas Adams
    || JM, 7:49 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    T-Shirt Humor

    McSweeneys: Poorly Selling T-Shirts
  • "#2 Grandpa"
  • "I failed to survive Smokin' Joe's Five-Alarm Chili Pit"
  • "Ask Me About Nudism"
  • "My mom attended the Mechanicsburg, PA, Quilt Fair and was thoughtful enough to buy me this souvenir, which I cherish."
  • "I'm with that guy to my left ... no, sorry, one more over ... yeah, that's him."
  • "Time Magazine: Man of the Year" featuring novelty-shirt-booth employee"
  • || JM, 7:47 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    More Crap

    THE TELECRAPPER 2000 TELEMARKETER INTERCEPTION SYSTEM (VIA Linkfilter)
    " The Telecrapper 2000 (TC2K) is a computerized system designed to both intercept incoming Telemarketing calls on the first ring, and then carry on a virtual conversation with the telemarketer..."
    || JM, 7:46 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Monday, September 12, 2005

    Howdy-ho!

    Although there are so many contenders from the past to choose from, I truly believe that this post is the crappiest that I have ever done! A giant link-dump (no pun intended...really) of toilet related items:

    Video Game Toilets
    It's All In The Head
    The Catsup Crapper
    The Toilet Museum
    Don't Forget To Wipe
    Hand Crafted Poodle Toilet Paper Cover
    How to Toilet-Train Your Cat
    Virtual Toilet Paper Museum
    Toilet Seat Art Museum
    How Toilets Work
    Toilet paper history
    Toilet humour
    Mobile Toilet
    Men's Room Etiquette
    Father Of The Crapper?
    Microsoft bathroom graffiti
    BATHROOM Graffiti fotolog
    The best place to piss away your time on the Internet
    || JM, 12:12 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Retro Pr0n!


    The RetroRaunch Caption Contest (VIA Wired)
  • "With his next project, Doctor Frankenstein decided loneliness could kiss his ass."
  • "Just in time for Christmas: life size weightlifter Barbie! "
  • "Welcome to the gym. I hope you're ready to pump iron! By the way...my name's Iron."

  • How can you go wrong? History, porn, and humor? Some NSFW images, but an interesting and amusing look at amateur erotica before the dawn of the digital camera and the internet.

    Funny that I should stumble upon this link since I was just thinking about the difference between the way kids discover porn today (obviously the internet) and the way it used to be. The subject came up innocently enough and ironically not through a porn related line of thought. I had to get a haircut, which is always a trauma for me and as I result I tend to postpone as long as I can. Reviewing why I find it traumatic is no easy task since there several reasons to pick from. Could it be because the last time I went I made the statement "I need my hair cut badly" they took it as a direction instead of a statement of fact? Perhaps. Maybe it's because each time I go there they have less to work with? Maybe. But at the core of it surely must be the mixed bag of emotions that getting a haircut has meant from when I was a little kid.

    Today's "styling salons" have few similarities with the old fashioned "barber shop" of my youth. Big 'ol fashioned barber chair, candy-stripe pole out front, big hand-carved ornate cabinetry, and tons of calendars on the walls of naked and semi-naked women holding tools and industrial products, apparently a common promotional practice back then.

    Yes friends, this was my first exposure to porn. Thank goodness I didn't develop a fetish along those lines! While you were waiting for your turn, you could peruse the large collection of comic books and "gentleman's magazines". Getting a haircut as a kid meant tagging along with my father. Which resulted in two things: getting it cut in a style I didn't like and being relegated to reading comics and not the more appealing "forbidden fare" that was available there. It was a glorious day when I crossed the threshold into adulthood and got to pick my own "hair-style" and my own reading material. I have to think that part of my aversion to barber shops stems from my early barber shop experiences and phobias. The again, it might just be a fear of scissors!
    || JM, 12:10 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
    Groucho Marx
    || JM, 12:07 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    A Bum Rap


    Bum Wines (VIA Crap Log)
    A website devoted to "fortified wine" which is sometimes referred to as street wine, twist-cap wine, or bum wines. There is probably at least one of these in one of the dark corners of your formative years, I'm sure. I wish it had only been one in my case.

    A semi related story...not really, but allow me this diversion. I was a band geek in high school and I remember this one dude who played sax who always warmed up playing the same catchy little ditty. When I ask him what the song was, his reply was "Nighttrain Asshole" which I thought was the actual name of the song for the longest time. To this day, when I hear that song, that's the way the title pops into my mind. Not worth it, I know.
    || JM, 12:06 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Dog Blogging

    What better way elevate one's mood than by a bringing a puppy into the picture? Take this simple quiz and find out What Breed of Puppy Are You? (VIA Linkfilter):




    You Are a Boston Terrier Puppy





    Aggressive, wild, and rambunctious.
    Deep down, you're just a cuddle monster.

    Gee; I was hoping to be a cuter breed. But then again, that's the story of my life. Not that bulldogs aren't cute, but I'm kinda partial to my own flufster. Here's a picture of her after yesterdays' bath (bucking the Friday petblogging trend):

    "OK...now where's my treat?"


    I suspect that if she could use the computer,she'd surf to sites like this or this.

    || JM, 12:05 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Sunday, September 11, 2005

    Reflections


    Looking back at the last few posts, I see that I might appear to be obsessed. It's probably just a natural reaction to recent events, but since I've added nothing and just wind up linking to stuff that you probably already read (or should read) the inevitable question is, "why bother?" Catharsis is my only excuse. The temptation to do a 9-11 related post was great, but since I've already done that, I can't add much that I haven't already said, or that hasn't been said better by others. Obviously today was a time that we all spent time reflecting, and remembering.

    Some who add something:
    September 11
    After 911: Remembrance and Renewal
    Four Years Later
    Nine-Eleven Remembered
    Tribute In Light
    || JM, 2:37 PM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Saturday, September 10, 2005

    eBay for A Good Cause


    HURRICANE KATRINA SUCKED
    A link to the web page of Dr. Ben Marble, the "Go F' Yourself Mr. Cheney" guy from the other day. If you haven't seen the video and want to own a copy of his personal footage, be sure to visit his eBay auction (VIA Brilliant At Breakfast). Proceeds will help him replace some of what was lost. (A bit too rich for my blood, but I wish him well!)

    As Jill so eloquently puts it:"All Marble was doing was echoing the words Cheney used when talking to Sen. Patrick Leahy on the floor of the Senate. He uttered the now-famous words, then walked away. AND HE WAS FOLLOWED BACK TO HIS HOUSE. He made no threat, he did nothing to hurt the Dickster. But for VOICING HIS OPINION, he was handcuffed and detained.

    This is Bush's America, folks. Now we are a country in which a man with a newborn baby whose home has been destroyed is detained by military police simply for voicing his opinion at one of the leaders WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR US. Marble now joins Sue Niederer as an American who has been held by Bush Administration goons for exercising his/her First Amendment right to protest.

    But of course Bush doesn't care about the constitution, nor does Cheney. They peed on it a long time ago."
    || JM, 11:30 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Order One Today


    Bumper Sticker (VIA Growabrain)
    "When Bush arrived in Biloxi, Miss. on September 2nd, he made a deeply felt speech in response to the devastation he witnessed and the stories he heard:

    'Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch,' he said, referring to the former Senate majority leader who lost his 154-year-old family home in Pascagoula, Miss.

    I'm sure that the million people left homeless and the families of the 10,000 (just guesses at this point) dead were comforted. Eventually this horror will seem like a dream because Trent Lott will have a fabulous house again...All proceeds from sales will go to several different Katrina charities."
    || JM, 11:28 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history."
    Aldous Huxley
    || JM, 11:27 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Election Fraud

    None Dare Call It Stolen (VIA Metafilter)
    A good article from Harpers on the report "Preserving Democracy: What Went Wrong in Ohio." Maybe the tinfoil hat brigade wasn't that crazy after-all. And one of the Metafilter posters came up with these catchy lyrics for the old CSN&Y song:

    "Election Fraud and Diebold's comin'.
    Our votes are no longer our own.
    In November I heard the drummin'.
    Democracy dead in Ohio.

    Gotta get down to it.
    Democracy was shot in the head.
    Should have been done long ago.

    What if you knew her and
    Found her dead on the ground?
    How can you run when you know?
    || JM, 11:26 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Friday, September 09, 2005

    Tom The Pinhead



    Are We Having Fun Yet? (VIA Wonkette)

    Probably the worst Photoshop...ever. But you get the idea.
    || JM, 4:47 PM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Doing' A Heck Of A Job!


    Q & A With Brownie
    Matthew, from Jacksonville, FL writes:
    What do you say to those who suggest that race and social class were a factor in FEMA's slow response to bring aid to the refugees of Hurricane Katrina?

    Michael D. Brown:
    Matthew, I want to assure you that race and social class have had absolutely NOTHING to do with how long it has taken to deliver supplies. What people need to understand is that mounting a response to an event such as this takes time. Specifically, it takes time to identify the Republican areas that need aid, and even longer to determine which Democratic areas are too far gone to bother saving. Once that part is over with, aid gets delivered lickety-split!


    But at least he "always had on a suit and a starched white shirt."

    Then again, maybe he isn't doing that great of a job!
    || JM, 11:07 AM || link || (1)||comments|| Email this link:

    Inspirational


    Demotiational Images (VIA The Presurfer)
    Another site featuring some classic "Demotivational Posters". I believe this one was ordered by someone at FEMA. Some of my favs include:
  • Rome Did Not Create A Great Empire By Having Meetings. They Did It By Killing Everyone Who Opposed Them.
  • I'll Try To Be Nicer, If You'll Try To Be Smarter
  • At Least You Will Always Have The Satisfaction That You Will Serve As A Bad Example For Others
  • Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do
  • There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague'either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure.
  • Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think
  • Put The Key Of Despair Into The Lock Of Apathy Turn The Knob Of Mediocrity Slowly And Open The Gates Of Despondency. Welcome To A Day In The Average Office
  • Success Always Occurs In Private And Failure In Full View
  • || JM, 12:04 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    MP3 Fun

    Dictionaraoke:nThe Singing Dictionary (VIA Metafilter)

    "Dicótioónaróaóoóke: (Pronunciation: 'dik-sh&-"ner-A-O-ke) Definition: Audio clips from online dictionaries sing the hits of yesterday and today. The fun of karaoke meets the word power of the dictionary."

    This is WAY too much fun, but I tend to like silly stuff. My favorite so far is their version of Nine Inch Nails Closer (NSFW), which almost had me in tears. AC/DC's Highway To Hell and The Talking Heads Burning Down The House come off pretty good as well.
    || JM, 12:03 AM || link || (0)||comments|| Email this link:

    Quote-A-'Da-Day:

    "Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein."
    Joe Theismann

    GOOD NEWS: Highlights are back on Monday Night Football.
    BAD NEWS: They will be done to country music.
    Listen carefully...I believe I hear Howard Cosell turning over in his grave.


    "Sports is the toy department of human life."
    Howard Cosell
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    Wassssaabi?


    Strange New Products points us to some new and interesting donut varieties. In addition to a Philippine donut shop featuring wasabi-flavored donuts, they also include a link to some other "far-out" donut varieties including mint, coffee, melon, mango, and "Ube Kanobe" (probably a relative of Obi Wan). "These aren't the donuts you're looking for."
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    Thursday, September 08, 2005

    Truth In Broadcasting


    Daily Kos: "Go F' Yourself, Mr. Cheney!"

    "Do you get that a lot, Mr. Cheney?"
    He replied, "That's the first time I've heard it.


    Today perhaps. These guys can't tell the truth about anything. It's not like he hasn't used the same phrase himself. When he said "Must be a friend of John er.. uh.. never mind." you have to wonder which John he was referring to. I'll cling to the belief he was refering to me...yea, right. This thread suggests that we mass e-mail this message to 'da Veep, but as much as I like the idea I have this paranoiac fear of secret service or IRS retribution.

    Predictably, I didn't see this on the network news shows. They used the clip, but cut away just before it happened. NewsHour on PBS did mention "the obscenity" incident, and of course Jon Stewart had to include it on The Daily Show. His take? "Appears the go f yourself-er has become the go f yourself-ee". And I loved his comments about the called for "Day Of Prayer" which is part of Bush's responce. "Isn't a hurricane an act of God? Shouldn't this be a day of shunning?" Some pretty astute comments with Brian Williams as well. This guy is at the top of his game. Can't wait to see next week's "Evolution Smevolution" series!
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    The Blame Game


    TPMcafe: Sorting Out Opinion From Fact On Katrina (VIA Daily Kos)
    Full steam ahead for the "swiftboating" of Katrina:
    "While watching the MSNBC program, CONNECTED, COAST TO COAST with Ron Reagan, a man from the Evergreen Foundation was on air spinning the myth that the President had to "beg" the Governor of Louisiana to take action. Having been on this show several times I called one of the bookers, Susan Durrwatcher, to alert her to the fact that this man was misrepresenting what happened. I offered Susan the following objective, documented facts (see timeline below). Susan thanked me for my "opinion" and said "we just have a different perspective". Stunned, I asked her by what standard of journalism that an objective fact was mere opinion? I asked her to simply look at the documents and correct the record. She declined...."

    And another Kos thread that puts it better than I could: "One of the more spectacular results of this administration's insistence on lying about everything, all the time is that they never go to much trouble to make sure each lie matches the next. This is because, to use a scientific explanation, they are unrepentant syphilitic dog whores....So for the sake of argument, fine: let's grant the central premise the White House was following the dangerous progress of Katrina well in advance, and urged evacuations. Let's grant the premise that they were "ready" for this storm, according to the standards that Bush set for himself. On vacation. While receiving ceremonial guitars. Does that make the now-universally-recognized-as-inadequate administration response better? Or spectacularly worse?

    Here's the problem, with all these lies. There's a city gone. And during the period of time when the people of that city needed help most, that help was not there. That's not spinnable. That's simple fact. It's not going to go away..."


    Be sure to sign the MoveOn petition demanding that Bush stop blaming victims and just focus on helping them. If you need a refresher on "what happened when", a useful timeline of what really happened.

    Finally, one last link that was posted at Brillant At Breakfast, that is a "must-see". Driftglass had done a photo-essay on Katrina titled "Us and Them". One of his readers took it to the next level and re-did it as a video featuring the Pink Floyd Song of the same name.
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